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   Redskins wide receiver has a Twitter meltdown after his cornerback cousin intercepts his wife for the score

13 Apr 2012 11:05 AM   |   4808 clicks   |   Washington Post
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Walker    [TotalFark]  
Click here to see screenshots of the uncensored tweets.

13 Apr 2012 09:32 AM
bscm80     
Uh, did you miss the tweet where he said his beef with Lito had nothing to do with a woman?

13 Apr 2012 09:35 AM
Di Atribe    [TotalFark]  
Ugh, can someone translate that into English?

13 Apr 2012 11:06 AM
ihatedumbpeople     

Di Atribe: Ugh, can someone translate that into English?


"my cousin took my skank"

13 Apr 2012 11:10 AM
Sargun     

Di Atribe: Ugh, can someone translate that into English?


Prologue: "Lito Sheppard is the biggest pussy motherfarker in the world. If you see him, tell him I said it and it's whatever."

Chapters

1. "I woke up on April 12, my anniversary, and couldn't find my soon-to-be-ex wife anywhere. Fark that biatch! I can't wait until the divorce is final in a few weeks."

2. "Feelings are for suckers! Never, ever again. I have a black heart and a dead soul, and I got it by how I lived. I'm out of [this marriage]"

3. "My beef with Lito has nothing to do with a girl; he's just a person I don't fark with. He's lame to me, so don't talk to me about him."

4. "Nobody has farked my wife, but anybody saying slick shiat better watch YOUR girl and make sure I don't get a hold of HER."

5. "Biatches are never grateful, no matter what you do for them. Homeboys will change on you. I keep it 100% real and don't read into it."

6. "I'm done tweeting; to all of you smart asses, I'll be in Jacksonsille, Orlando, and Northern Virginia if you wish to tell me what you think."

Epilogue: "I was hacked. We will handle our business in the house so I respectfully ask everyone to not come at me and to just let me handle my business."

13 Apr 2012 11:12 AM
groppet     
Gee and I thought things would be boring after Haynsworth left.

13 Apr 2012 11:16 AM
poisonedpawn78     
"my twitter account got hacked" = "I was drunk and dont remember what i typed and dont want to be responsible for my actions."

13 Apr 2012 11:17 AM
Smiths     
Ahh Twitter...

internet is forver, kiddies. just because you have a soapbox, does not mean you should all go up at once and publish everything.

13 Apr 2012 11:17 AM
Lost Thought 00     
Yeah, hacked, that's the ticket. Taht's exactly the series of messages a hacker would send once they got on a NFL player's account

13 Apr 2012 11:18 AM
MyNameIsMofuga     
Gaffney has the serenity prayer tattooed on his side. Maybe he should have put it where he can see it.

i492.photobucket.comView Full Size

13 Apr 2012 11:32 AM
ihatedumbpeople     

Lost Thought 00: Yeah, hacked, that's the ticket. Taht's exactly the series of messages a hacker would send once they got on a NFL player's account


yeah...hacked is such a lame term...just admit it guys...you said something on the 'it never goes away' internet that you regret...oh, and that your wife is a ho.

13 Apr 2012 11:32 AM
Lee's_Austin     
I know it's Twitter and all, but I cringe at the fact that he went to my Alma Mater.

/"Got Hacked" = Total BS

13 Apr 2012 11:33 AM
Karma Curmudgeon     

Sargun: Di Atribe: Ugh, can someone translate that into English?

Prologue: "Lito Sheppard is the biggest pussy motherfarker in the world. If you see him, tell him I said it and it's whatever."

Chapters

1. "I woke up on April 12, my anniversary, and couldn't find my soon-to-be-ex wife anywhere. Fark that biatch! I can't wait until the divorce is final in a few weeks."

2. "Feelings are for suckers! Never, ever again. I have a black heart and a dead soul, and I got it by how I lived. I'm out of [this marriage]"

3. "My beef with Lito has nothing to do with a girl; he's just a person I don't fark with. He's lame to me, so don't talk to me about him."

4. "Nobody has farked my wife, but anybody saying slick shiat better watch YOUR girl and make sure I don't get a hold of HER."

5. "Biatches are never grateful, no matter what you do for them. Homeboys will change on you. I keep it 100% real and don't read into it."

6. "I'm done tweeting; to all of you smart asses, I'll be in Jacksonsille, Orlando, and Northern Virginia if you wish to tell me what you think."

Epilogue: "I was hacked. We will handle our business in the house so I respectfully ask everyone to not come at me and to just let me handle my business."


www.blogcdn.comView Full Size

13 Apr 2012 11:43 AM
mouse fitzgerald     

bscm80: Uh, did you miss the tweet where he said his beef with Lito had nothing to do with a woman?


Uh, did you miss the tweet where he said his twitter account got hacked? Obviously it wasn't him in the first place.

And even if it was, nobody slept with his wife, he said so himself. He just needed to express that "biatches ain't grateful no matter what u do for em. Homeboys will change on u." It had nothing to do with a homeboy hooking up with his biatch. He just wanted to express both of those feelings at the same time.

And even if a homeboy did hook up with his biatch, (hard to believe, since he specifically tweeted that nobody did) it definitely wasn't Lito. No sir. Its clearly unrelated that he tweeted how "Lito Sheppard is the biggest pussy mf'er in the world" a couple days before.

It's all just a string of unfortunate coincidences.

13 Apr 2012 11:51 AM
SurfaceTension    [TotalFark]  

Lee's_Austin: I know it's Twitter and all, but I cringe at the fact that he went to my Alma Mater.

/"Got Hacked" = Total BS


Anyone should cringe at the fact they went there.

/'Nole for life

13 Apr 2012 12:03 PM
Digitalstrange     

poisonedpawn78: "my twitter account got hacked" = "I was drunk and dont remember what i typed and dont want to be responsible for my actions."


I think in this case it was more like "my publicist/manager got wind of this and explained how bad this was for my image/career and might affect how much I have to pay the cheating biatch in the divorce". These texts happened over a period of a couple of days. he was raging, not drunk (well possibly some of both)

13 Apr 2012 12:05 PM
Bo Giggity     
Looks like someone is bucking for a side job at American U. teaching ebonics.

13 Apr 2012 12:10 PM
bel4sucks     

Di Atribe: Ugh, can someone translate that into English?


Remember that the next time your redneck ass tells someone you're "fixin" to do something

13 Apr 2012 12:13 PM
nopokerface     
You could have kept the fact that your cousin deep dicked you private, but now it is the topic of news stories from multiple sources, and you have only yourself to blame.. You are a genius, Gaffney.

13 Apr 2012 12:14 PM
Crewmannumber6     
His grammar is atrocious

13 Apr 2012 12:15 PM
bart2puck     

bel4sucks: Di Atribe: Ugh, can someone translate that into English?

Remember that the next time your redneck ass tells someone you're "fixin" to do something



Im fixing to head up err and grabme a cole one, imma tell ya that.

or

Dems be sum da bomb Diggs g-knucks.....

which one is closer to english?

13 Apr 2012 12:16 PM
Your Zionist Leader     

bart2puck: bel4sucks: Di Atribe: Ugh, can someone translate that into English?

Remember that the next time your redneck ass tells someone you're "fixin" to do something


Im fixing to head up err and grabme a cole one, imma tell ya that.

or

Dems be sum da bomb Diggs g-knucks.....

which one is closer to english?


Don't bother fighting with him, picking with people on Fark is all he has.

13 Apr 2012 12:19 PM
JohnBigBootay     

bel4sucks: Remember that the next time your redneck ass tells someone you're "fixin" to do something


I grew up in bumfark central Alabama yet I somehow knew that 'fixin' to' would not fly in the larger world I was eventually headed to and was able to avoid it. I also do not go 'yonder', though I think it's kind of a cool word. Still, just harmless colloquialisms. My only real problem with Southern speech habits is when it comes to giving directions -

"just turn right at the first road past where that old gas station used to be"

I swear there are generations of people in my old hometown who do not know, never have known, and have no plans to learn, the names of the roads they ride on every day to say nothing of the cardinal directions. How the hell am I supposed to know where that old gas station or church used to be?. If one must give directions by structures rather than road names, I think we can all agree it is more useful to use ones that are actually there now.

13 Apr 2012 12:24 PM
ExperianScaresCthulhu     
His wife's a ho.
His cousin's a dick.
Or maybe they're in love, and he ain't taking care of business at home. Who knows.

he needed an outlet for his frustrations. Twitter provided it.
It was dumb to do so........ on the other hand, there's a reason
twitter's a go-to to vent. If society wants venting to be done
in private, then society needs to encourage easy avenues
for venting to be done in private. Where are such avenues?

13 Apr 2012 12:27 PM
nopokerface     

ExperianScaresCthulhu: If society wants venting to be done
in private, then society needs to encourage easy avenues
for venting to be done in private. Where are such avenues?


Maybe the members of society could just grow up.

13 Apr 2012 12:29 PM
InmanRoshi     
I can just imagine Babe Ruth's on twitter...

"I say being with 5 prostitutes at a time is the Bee's Knees, and how!!"

13 Apr 2012 12:30 PM
ExperianScaresCthulhu     

JohnBigBootay: bel4sucks: Remember that the next time your redneck ass tells someone you're "fixin" to do something

I grew up in bumfark central Alabama yet I somehow knew that 'fixin' to' would not fly in the larger world I was eventually headed to and was able to avoid it. I also do not go 'yonder', though I think it's kind of a cool word. Still, just harmless colloquialisms. My only real problem with Southern speech habits is when it comes to giving directions -

"just turn right at the first road past where that old gas station used to be"

I swear there are generations of people in my old hometown who do not know, never have known, and have no plans to learn, the names of the roads they ride on every day to say nothing of the cardinal directions. How the hell am I supposed to know where that old gas station or church used to be?. If one must give directions by structures rather than road names, I think we can all agree it is more useful to use ones that are actually there now.


If you belong there, you'll get to where you need to be.
If you don't belong there, you won't.
It's not subtle, it's a form of community protection, right?

It is dumb, but making things 'clear' are for folks you want to include in your group. a lot of times, folks' actions prove they want to remain exclusive.

As for 'the larger world'........ Twitter isn't mean to be a graded essay. It's meant to be people's thoughts, as they think them, no censorship except that 140 character limit. this dude wasn't making a professional press release, he was 'talking to friends'.... even if it is rather dumb to consider twitter followers friends. Still, folks who always say the right thing in the right way - -the standard way -- 100% of the time come across as phony and insincere. There's no heart.

As he's a professional, maybe he should look into someone creating his tweets for him, a ghostwriter, who will provide the standard bland shiat. he won't have nearly as many followers, but it will be standard, professional, impersonal, unoffensive, safe.

13 Apr 2012 12:34 PM
nopokerface     

JohnBigBootay: My only real problem with Southern speech habits is when it comes to giving directions -

"just turn right at the first road past where that old gas station used to be"


That's not a Southern thing, it's a rural thing.

"If I was going to Redbud, I wouldn't start from here...."

13 Apr 2012 12:36 PM
El Brujo     
This man went to college, likely graduated and is presumably an American born citizen. All this and his English is worse than a retarded immigrant.

"I keeps it 100 don't read into that's all it is."

13 Apr 2012 12:37 PM
El Brujo     

El Brujo: This man went to college, likely graduated and is presumably an American born citizen. All this and his English is worse than a retarded immigrant.

"I keeps it 100 don't read into that's all it is."


*immigrant's

13 Apr 2012 12:39 PM
Shtetl G     

InmanRoshi: I can just imagine Babe Ruth's on twitter...

"I say being with 5 prostitutes at a time is the Bee's Knees, and how!!"


More from the Babes' twitter feed:

"Yes we have no bananas, We have no bananas today." #B/C All the bananas are up my wenches deriair.

13 Apr 2012 12:39 PM
ExperianScaresCthulhu     

nopokerface: ExperianScaresCthulhu: If society wants venting to be done
in private, then society needs to encourage easy avenues
for venting to be done in private. Where are such avenues?

Maybe the members of society could just grow up.


Growing up doesn't mean lack of feelings.

Venting is normal. Removing the ability to vent is as dangerous (I believe) as removing the ability to sleep. Safe ways to get it out of your system without endangering yourself or others should be encouraged.

This dude was so upset at finding out his cousin was boning his wife, that he needed to tell the world how aggrieved and angry and betrayed he felt. He didn't choose to vent by taking a gun and committing murder-suicide. He went to a receptive audience and blew off steam, hoping that others would feel the same way and his feelings would be accepted.

Twitter just saved two, three lives.

The only damage done is to dignity, and that's always fixable.

If society wants that same kind of lack of physical damage, then society should encourage easy, off the cuff, spontaneous, free ways of venting..... which aren't then immediatley broadcast to a global audience. Twitter serves a purpose, even if the short-term effects are temporary and easily regretted. What is an alternative? is what I was asking? Or is it still the old standbys of 'punching a pillow' and 'drinking one's self to oblivion'?

13 Apr 2012 12:43 PM
ExperianScaresCthulhu     

InmanRoshi: I can just imagine Babe Ruth's on twitter...

"I say being with 5 prostitutes at a time is the Bee's Knees, and how!!"


Nah, he'd always be in fights with Ty Cobb about how he's not a nword and Ty Cobb would troll him about yes he is.. though I don't know if Georgie boy would be low enough to talk shiat about Ty's mother and father.

Ty Cobb's twitter would be Top 3 stuff, all time. Ty trolling, and others trolling Ty.

13 Apr 2012 12:45 PM
srhp29     
I am so tired of these morons saying the were "hacked".

No one believes that bullshiat.

ExperianScaresCthulhu: This dude was so upset at finding out his cousin was boning his wife, that he needed to tell the world how aggrieved and angry and betrayed he felt. He didn't choose to vent by taking a gun and committing murder-suicide. He went to a receptive audience and blew off steam, hoping that others would feel the same way and his feelings would be accepted.


There is a extremely insignificant number of people who vent in that way. This guy isn't getting a gold star for not killing anyone.

13 Apr 2012 12:47 PM
nopokerface     

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Twitter just saved two, three lives.


There's where you went too far. But, you had me for a while.

Well done.

13 Apr 2012 12:49 PM
JohnBigBootay     

ExperianScaresCthulhu: If you belong there, you'll get to where you need to be.
If you don't belong there, you won't.
It's not subtle, it's a form of community protection, right?



I guess. But with me going to all 12 grades of primary school there, graduating high school, and my mom still being there I think I qualify as belonging there when I visit. It's just that I moved away twenty five years ago so now I don't know where that gas station used to be.

13 Apr 2012 01:09 PM
Iceberg659     

Sargun: Di Atribe: Ugh, can someone translate that into English?

Prologue: "Lito Sheppard is the biggest pussy motherfarker in the world. If you see him, tell him I said it and it's whatever."

Chapters

1. "I woke up on April 12, my anniversary, and couldn't find my soon-to-be-ex wife anywhere. Fark that biatch! I can't wait until the divorce is final in a few weeks."

2. "Feelings are for suckers! Never, ever again. I have a black heart and a dead soul, and I got it by how I lived. I'm out of [this marriage] Feelings are for the weak and I will never be weak again. Henceforth I shall maintain a black heart and a dead soul. As for you, my dear followers, you should live life to the fullest. I have nothing more to say on this matter and shall take my leave."

3. "My beef with Lito has nothing to do with a girl; he's just a person I don't fark with. He's lame to me, so don't talk to me about him. I assure you, Lito and I do not quarrel over a maiden. He is just someone that do not choose to associate with. He is a cretin. I beseech you to no longer contact me about Lito and maidens."

4. "Nobody has farked my wife, but anybody saying slick shiat better watch YOUR girl and make sure I don't get a hold of HER."

5. "Biatches are never grateful, no matter what you do for them. Homeboys will change on you. I keep it 100% real and don't read into it. While others may be subject to flights of fancy, I remain steadfast in my convictions and do not judge them."

6. "I'm done tweeting; to all of you smart asses, I'll be in Jacksonsille, Orlando, and Northern Virginia if you wish to tell me what you think."

Epilogue: "I was hacked. We will handle our business in the house so I respectfully ask everyone to not come at me and to just let me handle my business."


FTFY

//Doctorate in Hood Tweets

13 Apr 2012 01:16 PM
Lee's_Austin     

SurfaceTension: Lee's_Austin: I know it's Twitter and all, but I cringe at the fact that he went to my Alma Mater.

/"Got Hacked" = Total BS

Anyone should cringe at the fact they went there.

/'Nole for life


Walk North until you smell it, then West until you step in it.

CHOMP CHOMP!

13 Apr 2012 01:17 PM
Di Atribe    [TotalFark]  
Sargun: You are basically the best person on the internet. Thank you!


ExperianScaresCthulhu: Twitter isn't mean to be a graded essay.


I see what you're saying & I get that.... but the thing with language is that we all agree that these words mean this and those words mean that and when you put them in this particular order, this is what they mean. We all agree so we can all understand. If I walked up to you & just started speaking in gibberish.... that's not communicating, it's just barfing sounds. I don't expect everyone to be perfect, but if you're not to be understood, why bother?


Lost Thought 00: Yeah, hacked, that's the ticket. Taht's exactly the series of messages a hacker would send once they got on a NFL player's account


Hm.... what WOULD we do if we hacked an NFL player's account?

In other news, I live in the 4th largest metro area in the US. My ass ain't redneck.

13 Apr 2012 01:21 PM
Di Atribe    [TotalFark]  

Iceberg659: //Doctorate in Hood Tweets


Hahaha.... I love it! DO THE REST DO THE REST!

13 Apr 2012 01:25 PM
Poison     

Digitalstrange: poisonedpawn78: "my twitter account got hacked" = "I was drunk and dont remember what i typed and dont want to be responsible for my actions."

I think in this case it was more like "my publicist/manager got wind of this and explained how bad this was for my image/career and might affect how much I have to pay the cheating biatch in the divorce". These texts happened over a period of a couple of days. he was raging, not drunk (well possibly some of both)


What a huge industry hacking Twitter accounts is. I just can't imagine a pro athlete/wanna be celebrity ever posting anything stupid on their account.

13 Apr 2012 01:35 PM
Dogfacedgod     
YEAH DAWG!

13 Apr 2012 01:55 PM
SurfaceTension    [TotalFark]  

Lee's_Austin: SurfaceTension: Lee's_Austin: I know it's Twitter and all, but I cringe at the fact that he went to my Alma Mater.

/"Got Hacked" = Total BS

Anyone should cringe at the fact they went there.

/'Nole for life

Walk North until you smell it, then West until you step in it.

CHOMP CHOMP!


Oohhhhhhheeeeyoooooeeeeeyooooohhhhhhh heeeeyyyyooooooo

CHOP CHOP!

13 Apr 2012 02:08 PM
macadamnut     

JohnBigBootay:
"just turn right at the first road past where that old gas station used to be"


Wow, I thought this was just a Maine thing.

13 Apr 2012 02:11 PM
Lee's_Austin     

SurfaceTension: Lee's_Austin: SurfaceTension: Lee's_Austin: I know it's Twitter and all, but I cringe at the fact that he went to my Alma Mater.

/"Got Hacked" = Total BS

Anyone should cringe at the fact they went there.

/'Nole for life

Walk North until you smell it, then West until you step in it.

CHOMP CHOMP!

Oohhhhhhheeeeyoooooeeeeeyooooohhhhhhh heeeeyyyyooooooo

CHOP CHOP!


Love it. Can't WAIT until November!

13 Apr 2012 02:24 PM
JohnBigBootay     

macadamnut: Wow, I thought this was just a Maine thing.


Apparently it's non-city folk everywhere. I also think it's really odd that so many people don't know road names in little towns and identify them by what they lead to rather than their actual name.

13 Apr 2012 02:30 PM
groppet     
Wow you would think with all these twitter accounts being "hacked" the last few months, celebrties would be in an uproar for better security

13 Apr 2012 02:49 PM
Iceberg659     

Di Atribe: Iceberg659: //Doctorate in Hood Tweets

Hahaha.... I love it! DO THE REST DO THE REST!


1. "As I arose on the 12th of April, the absence of my bride did not go unnoticed. Vile harlot, you shall sully my bed no more! Our legal proceedings will be concluded in a fortnight and for that I rejoice."

2. "Feelings are for the weak and I will never be weak again. Henceforth I shall maintain a black heart and a dead soul. As for you, my dear followers, you should live life to the fullest. I have nothing more to say on this matter and shall take my leave."

3. "I assure you, Lito and I do not quarrel over a maiden. He is just someone that do not choose to associate with. He is a cretin. I beseech you to no longer contact me about Lito and maidens."

4. "My Dearest Followers, Please rest assured that no one has lain with my bride. Those making these slanderous accusations should take heed of their own brides for I am wont to betray their modesty."

5. "Uncouth strumpets will remain ungrateful despite the gifts you lavish upon them and dear friends may become adversaries. While others may be subject to flights of fancy, I remain steadfast in my convictions and do not judge them."

6. "Our correspondence has come to an end. The churlish buffoons, among you, who wish to continue our discussion can find me in Jacksonville, Orlando, or Northern Virginia. Please seek me out and regale us all with your thoughts on my life choices."

13 Apr 2012 03:01 PM
ltdanman44     

poisonedpawn78: "my twitter account got hacked" = "I was drunk and dont remember what i typed and dont want to be responsible for my actions."


first thing i thought of too

13 Apr 2012 03:22 PM
Di Atribe    [TotalFark]  

Iceberg659: Di Atribe: Iceberg659: //Doctorate in Hood Tweets

Hahaha.... I love it! DO THE REST DO THE REST!

1. "As I arose on the 12th of April, the absence of my bride did not go unnoticed. Vile harlot, you shall sully my bed no more! Our legal proceedings will be concluded in a fortnight and for that I rejoice."

2. "Feelings are for the weak and I will never be weak again. Henceforth I shall maintain a black heart and a dead soul. As for you, my dear followers, you should live life to the fullest. I have nothing more to say on this matter and shall take my leave."

3. "I assure you, Lito and I do not quarrel over a maiden. He is just someone that do not choose to associate with. He is a cretin. I beseech you to no longer contact me about Lito and maidens."

4. "My Dearest Followers, Please rest assured that no one has lain with my bride. Those making these slanderous accusations should take heed of their own brides for I am wont to betray their modesty."

5. "Uncouth strumpets will remain ungrateful despite the gifts you lavish upon them and dear friends may become adversaries. While others may be subject to flights of fancy, I remain steadfast in my convictions and do not judge them."

6. "Our correspondence has come to an end. The churlish buffoons, among you, who wish to continue our discussion can find me in Jacksonville, Orlando, or Northern Virginia. Please seek me out and regale us all with your thoughts on my life choices."


Ohmygod.... I'm dying! HAHAHA

13 Apr 2012 03:59 PM
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