I spy a nipple.

"Day 1: Still tired from the move."
"Day 2: Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot."

_{thank you, Steven}

Are they normally so ... gross looking?

I guess if I had just been shot out of a vagina I'd be gross and pissed off as well.

HellRaisingHoosier: Are they normally so ... gross looking?

I guess if I had just been shot out of a vagina I'd be gross and pissed off as well.

Yes, you were.

The baby not only flips him off, but even does the "coy pretend it was a nose scratching" thing.

HellRaisingHoosier: Are they normally so ... gross looking?

I guess if I had just been shot out of a vagina I'd be gross and pissed off as well.

Yes. That stuff you see on the newborn's skin is vernix. It is the waxy or cheese-like white substance found coating the skin of newborn human babies.

Amongst other things, it helps moisturize the infant's skin while it's in utero.

Bathia_Mapes: HellRaisingHoosier: Are they normally so ... gross looking?

I guess if I had just been shot out of a vagina I'd be gross and pissed off as well.

Yes. That stuff you see on the newborn's skin is vernix. It is the waxy or cheese-like white substance found coating the skin of newborn human babies.

Amongst other things, it helps moisturize the infant's skin while it's in utero.

I just barfed in my mouth a little bit. Thanks.

Yeah, my son did that, too.

Watching my son being born was certainly an experience. I told myself I wasn't going to watch but was too fascinated not to.

Seeing his head pop out and fluids eject from his nose and mouth as his body moves through the birth canal was quite a site. Then a few minutes later, as you're both staring in awe at this new life, you hear a loud *plunk* as the afterbirth is expelled into a pan.

Certainly gained a new respect toward women.

Well, time for lunch.

Gilligann: Watching my son being born was certainly an experience. I told myself I wasn't going to watch but was too fascinated not to.

Seeing his head pop out and fluids eject from his nose and mouth as his body moves through the birth canal was quite a site. Then a few minutes later, as you're both staring in awe at this new life, you hear a loud *plunk* as the afterbirth is expelled into a pan.

Certainly gained a new respect toward women.

Well, time for lunch.

Pics?

As a new Grandpa, I'm getting a kick out of this thread!

/James Douglas - 6lbs 15oz born April 20, 2012. Welcome to Fark, JD!

Gilligann: Watching my son being born was certainly an experience. I told myself I wasn't going to watch but was too fascinated not to.

Seeing his head pop out and fluids eject from his nose and mouth as his body moves through the birth canal was quite a site. Then a few minutes later, as you're both staring in awe at this new life, you hear a loud *plunk* as the afterbirth is expelled into a pan.

Certainly gained a new respect toward women.

Well, time for lunch.

I don't think I could ever leave my wife now out of shear respect for her awesomeness after watching her give birth. I've never worked as hard as she did that day. No pain killers too.

Loaf's Tray: Gilligann: Watching my son being born was certainly an experience. I told myself I wasn't going to watch but was too fascinated not to.

Seeing his head pop out and fluids eject from his nose and mouth as his body moves through the birth canal was quite a site. Then a few minutes later, as you're both staring in awe at this new life, you hear a loud *plunk* as the afterbirth is expelled into a pan.

Certainly gained a new respect toward women.

Well, time for lunch.

Pics?



/I'm thinking Arby's

JustSeanV67: As a new Grandpa, I'm getting a kick out of this thread!

/James Douglas - 6lbs 15oz born April 20, 2012. Welcome to Fark, JD!

If you truly love your newborn grandson, keep him away from fark. :-D

cgraves67: Gilligann: Watching my son being born was certainly an experience. I told myself I wasn't going to watch but was too fascinated not to.

Seeing his head pop out and fluids eject from his nose and mouth as his body moves through the birth canal was quite a site. Then a few minutes later, as you're both staring in awe at this new life, you hear a loud *plunk* as the afterbirth is expelled into a pan.

Certainly gained a new respect toward women.

Well, time for lunch.

I don't think I could ever leave my wife now out of shear respect for her awesomeness after watching her give birth. I've never worked as hard as she did that day. No pain killers too.

Any woman who chooses a natural child birth is a much stronger person than I am.

My wife meant to have a drug free experience, but her progress stalled and after 36 hours she asked for an epidural. The hardest part for me was seeing how much pain she was in.

Unfortunately the baby had to spend 3 days in the NICU due to a pneumothorax.

9lb 15 oz. Turns 1 May 10th

mr lawson: Loaf's Tray: Gilligann: Watching my son being born was certainly an experience. I told myself I wasn't going to watch but was too fascinated not to.

Seeing his head pop out and fluids eject from his nose and mouth as his body moves through the birth canal was quite a site. Then a few minutes later, as you're both staring in awe at this new life, you hear a loud *plunk* as the afterbirth is expelled into a pan.

Certainly gained a new respect toward women.

Well, time for lunch.

Pics?

[img.foodnetwork.com image 616x462]

/I'm thinking Arby's

Dude, c'mon. Arby's never slices their Roast Beef-like product that thick.

Gilligann: cgraves67: Gilligann: Watching my son being born was certainly an experience. I told myself I wasn't going to watch but was too fascinated not to.

Seeing his head pop out and fluids eject from his nose and mouth as his body moves through the birth canal was quite a site. Then a few minutes later, as you're both staring in awe at this new life, you hear a loud *plunk* as the afterbirth is expelled into a pan.

Certainly gained a new respect toward women.

Well, time for lunch.

I don't think I could ever leave my wife now out of shear respect for her awesomeness after watching her give birth. I've never worked as hard as she did that day. No pain killers too.

Any woman who chooses a natural child birth is a much stronger person than I am.

My wife meant to have a drug free experience, but her progress stalled and after 36 hours she asked for an epidural. The hardest part for me was seeing how much pain she was in.

Unfortunately the baby had to spend 3 days in the NICU due to a pneumothorax.

9lb 15 oz. Turns 1 May 10th

My wife had all 3 of ours without any pain medication.

I wouldn't have been able to do it.

JC

Gilligann: Watching my son being born was certainly an experience. I told myself I wasn't going to watch but was too fascinated not to.

Seeing his head pop out and fluids eject from his nose and mouth as his body moves through the birth canal was quite a site. Then a few minutes later, as you're both staring in awe at this new life, you hear a loud *plunk* as the afterbirth is expelled into a pan.

Certainly gained a new respect toward women.

Well, time for lunch.

Yes, placenta lasagna issues a siren's cry deniable by no one.

JustSeanV67: As a new Grandpa, I'm getting a kick out of this thread!

/James Douglas - 6lbs 15oz born April 20, 2012. Welcome to Fark, JD!

Happy Birthday new Hitler!

Rhames: JustSeanV67: As a new Grandpa, I'm getting a kick out of this thread!

/James Douglas - 6lbs 15oz born April 20, 2012. Welcome to Fark, JD!

Happy Birthday new Hitler!

Or perhaps, new George Takei.

HellRaisingHoosier: Are they normally so ... gross looking.

Yes.

Pfffftt. I ain't impressed by some sly junior high school stunt.

When my youngest son was born, and the nurse handed him to me, I held him up to admire him --- and he pissed on me.

Gilligann: was quite a site.

I've always thought the same.

D'oh!

I meant sight.

Incredulous: Pfffftt. I ain't impressed by some sly junior high school stunt.

When my youngest son was born, and the nurse handed him to me, I held him up to admire him --- and he pissed on me.

my daughter crapped rather extensively all over myself, my shirt, the recieving blanket, her brother... it was a really impressive quantity of poo for someone all of five minutes old.

/breastmilk
//goes right through em.

Incredulous: Pfffftt. I ain't impressed by some sly junior high school stunt.

When my youngest son was born, and the nurse handed him to me, I held him up to admire him --- and he pissed on me.

Mom? Is that you?

The first thing my son did in his life was pee on a nurse. And I don't mean dribbling on her while being held. He was flat on his back and got her in the face.

well.. I've now learned from Fark's comments that babies need to take a wicked piss when they're born. wait.. do babies piss/poo when they're in the uterus? where does the piss go.. :s

or does the umbilical cord handle all of that..?

/need to take a health class

Smagma: well.. I've now learned from Fark's comments that babies need to take a wicked piss when they're born. wait.. do babies piss/poo when they're in the uterus? where does the piss go.. :s

or does the umbilical cord handle all of that..?

/need to take a health class

If it helps, babies don't eat in utero.. All nutrients are transferred through the placental barrier, so what little things they need to get rid of is either as peed into the amniotic fluid surrounding it or saved up as poop, which is referred to as meconium. Meconium is this green/black tar-like substance that makes it look like baby has been ingesting pure evil.

lucky farkers, when i was born i got a spanking.

Gilligann: Watching my son being born was certainly an experience. I told myself I wasn't going to watch but was too fascinated not to.

Seeing his head pop out and fluids eject from his nose and mouth as his body moves through the birth canal was quite a site. Then a few minutes later, as you're both staring in awe at this new life, you hear a loud *plunk* as the afterbirth is expelled into a pan.

Certainly gained a new respect toward women.

Well, time for lunch.

Oh what the fark?

Gilligann: Watching my son being born was certainly an experience. I told myself I wasn't going to watch but was too fascinated not to.

Have you ever been able to perform oral sex on your wife afterwards? 'Cause that would be my fear. You get your head down there, doing your thing, and *bam*, got that image in your head. "Hey, I remember all of the afterbirth pouring out of here." So, good luck with that, man.

cgraves67: No pain killers too.

She did all that with no painkillers? Be afraid...be very afraid.....

HellRaisingHoosier: Are they normally so ... gross looking?

Yes, yes they are. My daughter is almost 3, and she's a sweet, funny and beautiful little girl. When she was born though, I thought my wife had just pushed out some troll/lizard child. Days later, when my daughter no longer looked like Rue McClanahan right after a boxing match, the wife and I both admitted we were disappointed at how fugly she was at first. We really thought there was a chance she'd stay that way for life.

It didn't help that the Doc had to use that vacuum cleaner attachment to suck her out of my wife. The kid had a head like the Ridley Scott's Alien. That went back to normal after a few weeks though. So yea, I think it's safe to say that when babies are born, they are shockingly horrendous, but not long after, they get pretty damn cute.

Baron Harkonnen: Gilligann: Watching my son being born was certainly an experience. I told myself I wasn't going to watch but was too fascinated not to.

Have you ever been able to perform oral sex on your wife afterwards? 'Cause that would be my fear. You get your head down there, doing your thing, and *bam*, got that image in your head. "Hey, I remember all of the afterbirth pouring out of here." So, good luck with that, man.

It took quite a while before she wanted to do ANYTHING sexual, but to answer your question, yes. After a while those images don't appear in your head...that often.

HellRaisingHoosier: Are they normally so ... gross looking?

Actually, my theme is that all newborns look like Winston Churchill...

Wha wha wha what? You mean babies don't pop out clean with a full brushed head of hair (strangely looking about a year old) the way they do on TV?

Fun Fact: For hundreds of years the humble forceps were shrouded in mystery, and literally shrouded by a big box. See, the docs didn't want anyone to know how simple they were. How many poor babies died for the sake of a little profit?