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   Pro tip: If you must sunbathe, don't do it in the middle of the road

30 Apr 2012 06:47 AM   |   6092 clicks   |   WTAE
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tinfoil-hat maggie    [TotalFark]  

30 Apr 2012 12:17 AM
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tinfoil-hat maggie    [TotalFark]  
Or maybe even better? Dana Fuchs

30 Apr 2012 12:19 AM
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AKTurkey     
Nicole and Nicholas Beck, who are cousins of Schermanhorn, said they witnessed the aftermath of the incident. They said their 19-year-old brother was driving on Donald Avenue and had stopped at a stop sign before making a turn and hitting the two girls.

So the guy driving was the cousin of the girl who decided it was a good idea to lie in the middle of the road. This family is obviously full of geniuses.

30 Apr 2012 12:34 AM
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Fark Me To Tears    [TotalFark]  
I don't know, subby... Somehow, the [DUMBASS] tag seems a little too understated for this one...

If the world were a little less PC, we could have a [RETARDED] tag which would be about perfect for this story.

30 Apr 2012 12:35 AM
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make me some tea    [TotalFark]  
What the hell?

30 Apr 2012 01:13 AM
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FNG    [TotalFark]  
Or maybe a "Stumbass" tag for all three of them. Dumbass for the kids who were on the road, Stupid for the driver who didn't see two people.

30 Apr 2012 01:27 AM
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DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke     
Those girls should have been using SPF: Infiniti.

30 Apr 2012 06:20 AM
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DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke     
Beaver Co., PA + upscale rural white trash + cousins + meth lab country = 13 y/o girls sunbathing in the road nude.

30 Apr 2012 06:39 AM
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suffra     
AKTurkey: Nicole and Nicholas Beck, who are cousins of Schermanhorn, said they witnessed the aftermath of the incident. They said their 19-year-old brother was driving on Donald Avenue and had stopped at a stop sign before making a turn and hitting the two girls.

So the guy driving was the cousin of the girl who decided it was a good idea to lie in the middle of the road. This family is obviously full of geniuses.


How do two cousins have the same brother though?

30 Apr 2012 06:54 AM
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BurnShrike     
Why did my brain add "nude" to the headline? I went to the article, only to find no mention of nudity. I came back here to comment and reread the headline.

Wishful thinking?

30 Apr 2012 07:08 AM
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tinfoil-hat maggie    [TotalFark]  
DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: Those girls should have been using SPF: Infiniti.

I laughed, I going to hell aren't I?

/2 tickets please cause I wanna take some one with me

30 Apr 2012 07:10 AM
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Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion     
suffra: AKTurkey: Nicole and Nicholas Beck, who are cousins of Schermanhorn, said they witnessed the aftermath of the incident. They said their 19-year-old brother was driving on Donald Avenue and had stopped at a stop sign before making a turn and hitting the two girls.

So the guy driving was the cousin of the girl who decided it was a good idea to lie in the middle of the road. This family is obviously full of geniuses.

How do two cousins have the same brother though?


Nicole and Nicholas Beck witnessed the accident. Their brother was driving the car that hit Schermanhorn, the victim and the cousin of all three. Kaylie George was also hit, but the article doesn't mention a relationship.

30 Apr 2012 07:13 AM
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eas81     
There really is no problem with it if you know what your doing, Just ask this guy:

thewallofbadass.com

30 Apr 2012 07:23 AM
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tasteless     
DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: Those girls should have been using SPF: Infiniti.

Hah!

30 Apr 2012 07:28 AM
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Arcturus72     
tinfoil-hat maggie: DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: Those girls should have been using SPF: Infiniti.

I laughed, I going to hell aren't I?

/2 tickets please cause I wanna take some one with me


Add me to the list of people joining you...

30 Apr 2012 07:31 AM
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Gleeman     
DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: 13 y/o girls sunbathing in the road nude

Pics, or it didn't happen.


/what?

30 Apr 2012 07:31 AM
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Arcturus72     
DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: Beaver Co., PA + upscale rural white trash + cousins + meth lab country = 13 y/o girls sunbathing in the road nude.

Why don't you have a seat over there...

Oblig...

30 Apr 2012 07:31 AM
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Buffet     
Thinning the herd?

30 Apr 2012 07:35 AM
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PlumCrazy     
Paging Darwin


Darwin to the tan courtesy phone please

30 Apr 2012 07:36 AM
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Bhasayate     
tinfoil-hat maggie: Why Don't We Do It In The Road ?

yay

30 Apr 2012 07:40 AM
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Too Pretty For Prison     
AKTurkey: Nicole and Nicholas Beck, who are cousins of Schermanhorn, said they witnessed the aftermath of the incident. They said their 19-year-old brother was driving on Donald Avenue and had stopped at a stop sign before making a turn and hitting the two girls.

So the guy driving was the cousin of the girl who decided it was a good idea to lie in the middle of the road. This family is obviously full of geniuses.


they're probably brother and sisters, too. inbreeding always causes problems according to reliable info I found on the internet.

30 Apr 2012 07:45 AM
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Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
But it's my private cul-de-sac.

30 Apr 2012 07:56 AM
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Bhruic     
suffra: AKTurkey: Nicole and Nicholas Beck, who are cousins of Schermanhorn, said they witnessed the aftermath of the incident. They said their 19-year-old brother was driving on Donald Avenue and had stopped at a stop sign before making a turn and hitting the two girls.

So the guy driving was the cousin of the girl who decided it was a good idea to lie in the middle of the road. This family is obviously full of geniuses.

How do two cousins have the same brother though?


The two are cousins of one of the girls who was hit, not each other.

Competing dumbass tags here... You've got to be a dumbass to sunbathe in the middle of the street, but you've also got to be a dumbass to not notice two girls sunbathing in the middle of the street.

30 Apr 2012 07:56 AM
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McKeesport Beer Baron     
Confucius say : Girl who sunbathe in road, get hit in Beaver..

30 Apr 2012 07:59 AM
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Harry Freakstorm    [TotalFark]  
Beaver county. Giggity

30 Apr 2012 08:05 AM
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StrikitRich    [TotalFark]  
media.tumblr.com

BurnShrike: Why did my brain add "nude" to the headline? I went to the article, only to find no mention of nudity. I came back here to comment and reread the headline.

Wishful thinking?


Dude, 13 year olds.

30 Apr 2012 08:27 AM
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Gothnet     
suffra: AKTurkey: Nicole and Nicholas Beck, who are cousins of Schermanhorn, said they witnessed the aftermath of the incident. They said their 19-year-old brother was driving on Donald Avenue and had stopped at a stop sign before making a turn and hitting the two girls.

So the guy driving was the cousin of the girl who decided it was a good idea to lie in the middle of the road. This family is obviously full of geniuses.

How do two cousins have the same brother though?


It took me a while BUT -

There are two couples, Couple A and Couple B. Male A is Female B's Brother. Each couple has a child, Daughter A and Daughter B, they are cousins.

Female A and Male B elope and have a son, The son is (half)brother to Daughter A and Daughter B.

30 Apr 2012 08:32 AM
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Smoky Dragon Dish    [TotalFark]  
Pennsyltucky.

30 Apr 2012 08:33 AM
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BurnShrike     
StrikitRich: [media.tumblr.com image 225x556]

BurnShrike: Why did my brain add "nude" to the headline? I went to the article, only to find no mention of nudity. I came back here to comment and reread the headline.

Wishful thinking?

Dude, 13 year olds.


Yes, but I didn't know that based solely on the headline.

30 Apr 2012 08:38 AM
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Grables'Daughter     
DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: Those girls should have been using SPF: Infiniti.

I drive an Infiniti so I got a kick out of your reply.

30 Apr 2012 08:39 AM
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skinink     
Sybarite: But it's my private cul-de-sac.

I don't understand what your balls have to do with this story.

30 Apr 2012 08:40 AM
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TomD9938     
Too Pretty For Prison:
they're probably brother and sisters, too. inbreeding always causes problems according to reliable info I found on the internet.


I like my teenaged inbreds good and tan.

FTA

Authorities with the Beaver County Police Department said Samantha Schermanhorn and Kaylie George, both 13, had to be flown by helicopter to a hospital after they fell asleep while sunbathing in the roadway and were hit by the car.

The counties one and only car apparently.

30 Apr 2012 08:41 AM
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Grables'Daughter     
TomD9938: Authorities with the Beaver County Police Department said Samantha Schermanhorn and Kaylie George, both 13, had to be flown by helicopter to a hospital after they fell asleep while sunbathing in the roadway and were hit by the car.

The counties one and only car apparently.

BEAVER COUNTY, Pa. -- Two teenage girls who were sunbathing along Donald Avenue were hurt after being struck by a car.

Two teenage girls who were sunbathing along Donald Avenue were hurt after being struck by a car.

Nope, the first sentence sets up that they were hit by a car. The sentence that you quoted refers to the car as "the car", because we know who the car belonged to after reading the article.

And it's "county's", not "counties".

/grammar Nazi

30 Apr 2012 08:55 AM
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KimNorth     
Wow, the parent are going to have quite a medical bill and I would not count on the 19 year old to have car insurance.

30 Apr 2012 08:59 AM
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Grables'Daughter     
I also came to see if you guys had noticed that the girls were hit in Beaver.

ctrl-f "beaver"

Yep, you guys did notice that.

30 Apr 2012 09:00 AM
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Corporate Self     
That's just the way these ladies roll ... on the bottom of someone's tires.

30 Apr 2012 09:06 AM
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Grables'Daughter     
I have several questions for these young ladies.

1. If you are going to sunbathe, why would you do it in the road?

Um, no, I guess I only had the one question.

30 Apr 2012 09:21 AM
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KingKauff    [TotalFark]  
Grables'Daughter: I also came to see if you guys had noticed that the girls were hit in Beaver.

ctrl-f "beaver"

Yep, you guys did notice that.


somethingsomethinghityouinthebeaverso methingsomething

30 Apr 2012 09:30 AM
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Akabander     
Came for pix of what sunbathers may look like... Leaving disappointed.

30 Apr 2012 09:39 AM
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Grables'Daughter     
Akabander: Came for pix of what sunbathers may look like... Leaving disappointed.

cl.jroo.me

30 Apr 2012 09:44 AM
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Trance750    [TotalFark]  
suffra: AKTurkey: Nicole and Nicholas Beck, who are cousins of Schermanhorn, said they witnessed the aftermath of the incident. They said their 19-year-old brother was driving on Donald Avenue and had stopped at a stop sign before making a turn and hitting the two girls.

So the guy driving was the cousin of the girl who decided it was a good idea to lie in the middle of the road. This family is obviously full of geniuses.

How do two cousins have the same brother though?


It seems that even people in Pittsburgh do some cross-breeding.

30 Apr 2012 09:49 AM
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Buggar     
Who's turn was it to yell CAR?

30 Apr 2012 10:02 AM
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Christian Bale     
BurnShrike: Why did my brain add "nude" to the headline? I went to the article, only to find no mention of nudity. I came back here to comment and reread the headline.

Wishful thinking?



Because sunbathing is not news unless it's nude. Or unless the bathers get hit by a car, but how is that going to happen? Oh wait...

30 Apr 2012 10:29 AM
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Gough     
Gothnet: suffra: AKTurkey: Nicole and Nicholas Beck, who are cousins of Schermanhorn, said they witnessed the aftermath of the incident. They said their 19-year-old brother was driving on Donald Avenue and had stopped at a stop sign before making a turn and hitting the two girls.

So the guy driving was the cousin of the girl who decided it was a good idea to lie in the middle of the road. This family is obviously full of geniuses.

How do two cousins have the same brother though?

It took me a while BUT -

There are two couples, Couple A and Couple B. Male A is Female B's Brother. Each couple has a child, Daughter A and Daughter B, they are cousins.

Female A and Male B elope and have a son, The son is (half)brother to Daughter A and Daughter B.


We've got some towns around here where that sort of thing happens. The residents don't have family trees...they have family wreaths.

30 Apr 2012 11:09 AM
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Big_Fat_Liar     
White.

(just for consistency - I call out the other stories too. Don't want anyone thinking I'm a duper duper racist instead of just regular racist)

(yeah, today's NBCsandiego story on the sacrifice in the cemetery - it's Mexican. You know it is. Do we even need to read the story or the comments to find out?)

30 Apr 2012 11:24 AM
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azpenguin     
Well, they may only be 13, but apparently they were hittable.

/like the fist of an angry Michelin Man
//he hit that twice

30 Apr 2012 11:46 AM
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Baloo Uriza     
Smart girls don't sleep in the middle of the street. On the other hand, smart drivers also watch where they're going. I see three co-morons to this situation.

30 Apr 2012 12:45 PM
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DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke     
suffra: AKTurkey: Nicole and Nicholas Beck, who are cousins of Schermanhorn, said they witnessed the aftermath of the incident. They said their 19-year-old brother was driving on Donald Avenue and had stopped at a stop sign before making a turn and hitting the two girls.

So the guy driving was the cousin of the girl who decided it was a good idea to lie in the middle of the road. This family is obviously full of geniuses.

How do two cousins have the same brother though?


Uncle-Daddy will explain to you later.

30 Apr 2012 12:50 PM
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JohnCarter     
Where is the mention of meth, dope, huffing, and underage drinking. You know that was going on to "fall asleep" in the road.

30 Apr 2012 01:41 PM
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Mishno     
It sounds like an excuse to get out of trouble for trying to do some sort of "Jackass" type stunt. Find the video. It'll be on youtube soon enough.

...we fell asleep sunbathing in the middle of the road...yeah, right.

30 Apr 2012 04:18 PM
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