Pert: chookbillion: And why do these bikes not have pedals?

They're "balance bikes". The idea is that kids learn to balance while they push themselves along with their feet, without having to worry about pedalling or pedals getting in the way. It is supposed to dramatically decrease the amount of time children have to ride pedal bikes with stabilisers (aka trainer wheels).

I've seen some really young kids flying around on balance bikes who are sure to go straight onto two wheel pedal bikes.

Fun fact. The original bikes were of this style, and they were called "Hobby Horses"

loonatic112358: I expect several more fark headlines in this brats future

"Toddler who tried to visit his sick gran grows into confident, successful adult, colonizes mars and does your mom."

Is it possible photo has nothing to do with story and comes from stock photos?

She. Nan. I. Gans.

/If they're gonna put out a story like this, at least make the kid five or so

When I was four I left the county on a Baptist Joy bus. I knew kids who went to church on the buses that drove through our area picking up children to go to Sunday school. They were always prattling on about the games, the art supplies, and the snacks.

So, one Sunday morning my parents were asleep and the bus pulled up. The man driving asked if I wanted to go to church. I said yes. Twice he asked if I had permission to go. Twice I assured him that I did. He let me on the bus. When my parents woke up I was gone.

After searching for some time, they were going to call the police when my Grandmother thought about the church buses. They found me in the church.

wildcardjack: Is it possible photo has nothing to do with story and comes from stock photos?

The kid is wearing socks no shoes and a backpack in the photo as described in the article. That's way too specific to be a stock photo!

Cool story, Sis warning.

My little brother Ray did this to me when he was 2 and I was watching the whole brood of 5 younger brothers. He decided Mom and Dad were lost and he had to go bring them home. Cop was knocking on the door, asking me if "this little guy" belonged to us. He had been found near the highway, talking to some nice ladies and asking if they've seen our parents. While the cop was writing up his report at the front door and I'm near tears holding the newborn brother, the little snot slips out the back door on his quest again. The other brothers run him down a block away.

/little brothers are the best form of birth control for teenaged sisters.
//He's not so little now, he's an Army gunner and soon to be shipped out to Afgahnistan. Take care, Ray! You know how to get back home safe.

Rusty Shackleford: You just know the sick grandmother thing is only a cover story, and he was fully intent on taking Paris.

Your Average Witty Fark User: CSB:

When I was about four or so, my dad told me to go to the store and buy smokes. I didn't know any better, so I hopped in my battery powered 4x4 and drove off- at something like 4 mph. I managed to get about a mile down the road before I was finally found- and promptly punished, because at 4 I was supposed to know that he was kidding.

Yep. Been there, done that.

Some people don't get it that kids don't quite get the "sarcasm" bit yet, and that their sense of humor is not quite that well defined.

/had to have a LOT of chats with my future brother-in-law about this
//his 2 1/2 year old daughter has done a couple of things that we'd prefer her not to... usually because her dad isn't smart enough to realize that she's 2 1/2, and has the mentality of, wait for it, a 2 1/2 year old.

Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way

While reading the article I noticed a couple of things, lets see if fark did as well:
No pedals, check
Two wheels, check
4 ft tall two year old?, check
Socks only?, NOPE.
Alright, I'll hop into this one, it looks like he's wearing some high tip water shoes. Or some other treaded footwear. Socks and stockings don't have tread.

All you people saying he can't possibly be two years old, just remember that's probably in metric. That works out to about 4.6 years old for an American.

Again, shoot the little bastad

Nobody needs that kind of attitude to grow up and live among us

quickdraw: That kid is not 2 years old. Hes gotta be at least 4 based on his proportions.

I'm sure they checked his papers...

Pert: Uchiha_Cycliste: nope.

Well they look backwards to me.

Compare:

Front wheel tucked slightly under the frame:

[images.dailyexpress.co.uk image 285x214]

Front wheel correctly pushed slightly forward of the frame:

[www.bikeshake.com image 640x456]

Completely different models. Note that there are multiple differences, such as the top tub on the bottom picture is curved, as is the stem.

BurnShrike: The sense of entitlement from kids these days is astounding. If he wants a sat nav he should get a job and pay for it himself!

No doubt... my bike has a sat nav (using OpenStreetMap even!) but I saved up to get that.

wxboy: All you people saying he can't possibly be two years old, just remember that's probably in metric. That works out to about 4.6 years old for an American.

Well played. Very well played.

Those wacky Germans do love the vehicle driven advances

Uchiha_Cycliste: Pert: chookbillion: And why do these bikes not have pedals?

They're "balance bikes". The idea is that kids learn to balance while they push themselves along with their feet, without having to worry about pedalling or pedals getting in the way. It is supposed to dramatically decrease the amount of time children have to ride pedal bikes with stabilisers (aka trainer wheels).

I've seen some really young kids flying around on balance bikes who are sure to go straight onto two wheel pedal bikes.

Fun fact. The original bikes were of this style, and they were called "Hobby Horses"

This inspired me to do a short investigation into the history of the bicycle. Very interesting, something I haven't read about in a long time.

http://qkme.me/3p1ngm

http://qkme.me/3p1ngm

Bah first Fark post in ages. Why won't Quickmeme let you share the image itself?

Mock26: Pert: Uchiha_Cycliste: nope.

Well they look backwards to me.

Compare:

Front wheel tucked slightly under the frame:

[images.dailyexpress.co.uk image 285x214]

Front wheel correctly pushed slightly forward of the frame:

[www.bikeshake.com image 640x456]

Completely different models. Note that there are multiple differences, such as the top tub on the bottom picture is curved, as is the stem.

Jesus, I know they are different models, I didn't feel I needed to match models in order to demonstrate what was wrong.

All the balance bikes I have seen have the front wheel pushed forward slightly.

But to honest I am over it...

How many article fails can they make?

Pic says "tricycle" tri=3 not 2
Pedalled his bike...you mean he pedaled his pedalless bike?

Pert: Mock26: Pert: Uchiha_Cycliste: nope.

Well they look backwards to me.

Compare:

Front wheel tucked slightly under the frame:

[images.dailyexpress.co.uk image 285x214]

Front wheel correctly pushed slightly forward of the frame:

[www.bikeshake.com image 640x456]

Completely different models. Note that there are multiple differences, such as the top tub on the bottom picture is curved, as is the stem.

Jesus, I know they are different models, I didn't feel I needed to match models in order to demonstrate what was wrong.

All the balance bikes I have seen have the front wheel pushed forward slightly.

But to honest I am over it...

Then you should have noticed that the head tube on the "German" one is more vertical and the head tube on your comparison picture is angled more forward.

Also, just because every balance bike you have seen has had the front wheel pushed forward slightly does not mean that you have seen every model of balance bike.

Well, it looks like I own Pert an apology. It seems that he is correct about something being backwards. That is the Kettler Speedy Balance Bike and the fork is not completely straight. There is a very slight forward bend to the fork and in the picture of the kid (best seen in the Hitler picture) it does appear to be backwards. The difference, however, is very small. Good eye, Pert.

Mock26: Well, it looks like I own Pert an apology. It seems that he is correct about something being backwards. That is the Kettler Speedy Balance Bike and the fork is not completely straight. There is a very slight forward bend to the fork and in the picture of the kid (best seen in the Hitler picture) it does appear to be backwards. The difference, however, is very small. Good eye, Pert.

[img.photobucket.com image 633x495]

But that fat piece on the vertical bar is hard-welded. How can it be backwards? The turning bar goes through the fixed piece. And in the kid pic, the handlebars are angled correctly. Perhaps they are slightly different models?

Why all the name calling and hate? That kid rules! Such a good grandson!

-He's gonna grow up and be awesome you bunch of ninnies. Don't get in his way or he'll punch you in the neck.

(that was my big threat to older people when I was 5 years old and my older brother's friends would be messing with me. It was all I could reach at that age!)

Thank heavens he was stopped. Sarkozy was ready to issue a surrender declaration

namegoeshere: But that fat piece on the vertical bar is hard-welded. How can it be backwards? The turning bar goes through the fixed piece. And in the kid pic, the handlebars are angled correctly. Perhaps they are slightly different models?

Not completely sure what you mean, but here's how they go together...



The fat vertical tube on the far right of the bike is hollow (being a tube) and made of metal. At the bottom there is a yellow plastic piece which is grooved. The forks are like an upside-down Y. The single shaft goes up through the yellow plastic piece and the fat metal tube, while the top of the two forks locate in the grove of the yellow plastic piece.

IIRC the downtube from the handlebars is slightly narrower than the shaft coming up from the forks, and slides inside it. You then clamp them together at the top and slide the yellow plastic cone bit down over the clamp to stop kids hurting themselves on it.

Mock26: just because every balance bike you have seen has had the front wheel pushed forward slightly does not mean that you have seen every model of balance bike.

A big thank you to Mock26. Would you believe that I actually assembled this exact model of bike for my daughter at Christmas, only as it's in pink I didn't realise it was the same Kettler bike.

So yes, I am right after all. Ha ha.

target="_blank">Mock26: Well, it looks like I own Pert an apology. It seems that he is correct about something being backwards. That is the Kettler Speedy Balance Bike and the fork is not completely straight. There is a very slight forward bend to the fork and in the picture of the kid (best seen in the Hitler picture) it does appear to be backwards. The difference, however, is very small. Good eye, Pert.

I'm glad that got settled before anybody got hurt. What next, the economy or the Middle East?

namegoeshere: Mock26: Well, it looks like I own Pert an apology. It seems that he is correct about something being backwards. That is the Kettler Speedy Balance Bike and the fork is not completely straight. There is a very slight forward bend to the fork and in the picture of the kid (best seen in the Hitler picture) it does appear to be backwards. The difference, however, is very small. Good eye, Pert.

[img.photobucket.com image 633x495]

But that fat piece on the vertical bar is hard-welded. How can it be backwards? The turning bar goes through the fixed piece. And in the kid pic, the handlebars are angled correctly. Perhaps they are slightly different models?

The handlebars are not welded to the fork and the fork can freely spin 360-degrees in the head tube.

Mock26: namegoeshere: Mock26: Well, it looks like I own Pert an apology. It seems that he is correct about something being backwards. That is the Kettler Speedy Balance Bike and the fork is not completely straight. There is a very slight forward bend to the fork and in the picture of the kid (best seen in the Hitler picture) it does appear to be backwards. The difference, however, is very small. Good eye, Pert.

[img.photobucket.com image 633x495]

But that fat piece on the vertical bar is hard-welded. How can it be backwards? The turning bar goes through the fixed piece. And in the kid pic, the handlebars are angled correctly. Perhaps they are slightly different models?

The handlebars are not welded to the fork and the fork can freely spin 360-degrees in the head tube.

That's what I was thinking. It reminds me of turning my handlebars around and riding with the front wheel backwards.

But, seriously, WTF is a balance bike? How much fun is it to just coast along?

Wow. Kid got away from the parents where I live only the parents have been arrested. Of course they're black though.

WalMartian: Mock26: namegoeshere: Mock26: Well, it looks like I own Pert an apology. It seems that he is correct about something being backwards. That is the Kettler Speedy Balance Bike and the fork is not completely straight. There is a very slight forward bend to the fork and in the picture of the kid (best seen in the Hitler picture) it does appear to be backwards. The difference, however, is very small. Good eye, Pert.

[img.photobucket.com image 633x495]

But that fat piece on the vertical bar is hard-welded. How can it be backwards? The turning bar goes through the fixed piece. And in the kid pic, the handlebars are angled correctly. Perhaps they are slightly different models?

The handlebars are not welded to the fork and the fork can freely spin 360-degrees in the head tube.

That's what I was thinking. It reminds me of turning my handlebars around and riding with the front wheel backwards.

But, seriously, WTF is a balance bike? How much fun is it to just coast along?

It looks like it is more fun than using training wheels. And that is the idea behind it, that the kid learns to balance coasting and then when you buy him a real bike he will not need to use training wheels.

Mock26: namegoeshere: Mock26: Well, it looks like I own Pert an apology. It seems that he is correct about something being backwards. That is the Kettler Speedy Balance Bike and the fork is not completely straight. There is a very slight forward bend to the fork and in the picture of the kid (best seen in the Hitler picture) it does appear to be backwards. The difference, however, is very small. Good eye, Pert.

[img.photobucket.com image 633x495]

But that fat piece on the vertical bar is hard-welded. How can it be backwards? The turning bar goes through the fixed piece. And in the kid pic, the handlebars are angled correctly. Perhaps they are slightly different models?

The handlebars are not welded to the fork and the fork can freely spin 360-degrees in the head tube.

Yeah, I see that now. They got the wheel fork backwards and the handle bars correct.

namegoeshere: Mock26: namegoeshere: Mock26: Well, it looks like I own Pert an apology. It seems that he is correct about something being backwards. That is the Kettler Speedy Balance Bike and the fork is not completely straight. There is a very slight forward bend to the fork and in the picture of the kid (best seen in the Hitler picture) it does appear to be backwards. The difference, however, is very small. Good eye, Pert.

[img.photobucket.com image 633x495]

But that fat piece on the vertical bar is hard-welded. How can it be backwards? The turning bar goes through the fixed piece. And in the kid pic, the handlebars are angled correctly. Perhaps they are slightly different models?

The handlebars are not welded to the fork and the fork can freely spin 360-degrees in the head tube.

Yeah, I see that now. They got the wheel fork backwards and the handle bars correct.

Indeed. i should have been clearer. forgiveness please.

Pert: namegoeshere: Mock26: namegoeshere: Mock26: Well, it looks like I own Pert an apology. It seems that he is correct about something being backwards. That is the Kettler Speedy Balance Bike and the fork is not completely straight. There is a very slight forward bend to the fork and in the picture of the kid (best seen in the Hitler picture) it does appear to be backwards. The difference, however, is very small. Good eye, Pert.

[img.photobucket.com image 633x495]

But that fat piece on the vertical bar is hard-welded. How can it be backwards? The turning bar goes through the fixed piece. And in the kid pic, the handlebars are angled correctly. Perhaps they are slightly different models?

The handlebars are not welded to the fork and the fork can freely spin 360-degrees in the head tube.

Yeah, I see that now. They got the wheel fork backwards and the handle bars correct.

Indeed. i should have been clearer. forgiveness please.

Not at all. It was an interesting bike assembly conversation.

Judging by the size of the bike relative to the kid, I'll bet the kid is between 36 and 40 inches tall. My son was 37 inches on his 2nd birthday and 42 inches on his 3rd birthday so I have no problem believing this kid is just a big 2 year old, probably close to 3.

That kid is not 2, sorry.

namegoeshere: Pert: namegoeshere: Mock26: namegoeshere: Mock26: Well, it looks like I own Pert an apology. It seems that he is correct about something being backwards. That is the Kettler Speedy Balance Bike and the fork is not completely straight. There is a very slight forward bend to the fork and in the picture of the kid (best seen in the Hitler picture) it does appear to be backwards. The difference, however, is very small. Good eye, Pert.

[img.photobucket.com image 633x495]

But that fat piece on the vertical bar is hard-welded. How can it be backwards? The turning bar goes through the fixed piece. And in the kid pic, the handlebars are angled correctly. Perhaps they are slightly different models?

The handlebars are not welded to the fork and the fork can freely spin 360-degrees in the head tube.

Yeah, I see that now. They got the wheel fork backwards and the handle bars correct.

Indeed. i should have been clearer. forgiveness please.

Not at all. It was an interesting bike assembly conversation.

It's what happens if you start drinking on christmas eve before you get the bike assembled. Once you've got it all together and you realize it's backwards but still moves, you just want to go to bed or fark your wife, and it's not like she's going to notice. You're supposed to fix it the next day after he uses it and goes to bed again, but nobody notices and you forget about it. Spring comes and the neighbor kid says "Hey, why is that on backwards?" and your son comes and says "Dad, why is this on backwards?" and it's either explain the truth or say "Well, son, Santa? Old, rich white guy? The elves were pushing for better medical benefits and, you see... I was going to get that bike from Toys'r'Us, but we knew you wanted one from Santa even though he's using sweat shops in China now - not like you knew that, and we didn't want to ruin the holiday for you. So, I apologize for the sub standard bike and I promise to buy one for you myself next year."

This also handily covers the whole "Is Santa real?" conversation.

StaleCoffee: namegoeshere: Pert: namegoeshere: Mock26: namegoeshere: Mock26: Well, it looks like I own Pert an apology. It seems that he is correct about something being backwards. That is the Kettler Speedy Balance Bike and the fork is not completely straight. There is a very slight forward bend to the fork and in the picture of the kid (best seen in the Hitler picture) it does appear to be backwards. The difference, however, is very small. Good eye, Pert.

[img.photobucket.com image 633x495]

But that fat piece on the vertical bar is hard-welded. How can it be backwards? The turning bar goes through the fixed piece. And in the kid pic, the handlebars are angled correctly. Perhaps they are slightly different models?

The handlebars are not welded to the fork and the fork can freely spin 360-degrees in the head tube.

Yeah, I see that now. They got the wheel fork backwards and the handle bars correct.

Indeed. i should have been clearer. forgiveness please.

Not at all. It was an interesting bike assembly conversation.

It's what happens if you start drinking on christmas eve before you get the bike assembled. Once you've got it all together and you realize it's backwards but still moves, you just want to go to bed or fark your wife, and it's not like she's going to notice. You're supposed to fix it the next day after he uses it and goes to bed again, but nobody notices and you forget about it. Spring comes and the neighbor kid says "Hey, why is that on backwards?" and your son comes and says "Dad, why is this on backwards?" and it's either explain the truth or say "Well, son, Santa? Old, rich white guy? The elves were pushing for better medical benefits and, you see... I was going to get that bike from Toys'r'Us, but we knew you wanted one from Santa even though he's using sweat shops in China now - not like you knew that, and we didn't want to ruin the holiday for you. So, I apologize for the sub standard bike and I promise to buy one for you myself next year."

This also ...

Nice.

Pert: namegoeshere: Mock26: namegoeshere: Mock26: Well, it looks like I own Pert an apology. It seems that he is correct about something being backwards. That is the Kettler Speedy Balance Bike and the fork is not completely straight. There is a very slight forward bend to the fork and in the picture of the kid (best seen in the Hitler picture) it does appear to be backwards. The difference, however, is very small. Good eye, Pert.

[img.photobucket.com image 633x495]

But that fat piece on the vertical bar is hard-welded. How can it be backwards? The turning bar goes through the fixed piece. And in the kid pic, the handlebars are angled correctly. Perhaps they are slightly different models?

The handlebars are not welded to the fork and the fork can freely spin 360-degrees in the head tube.

Yeah, I see that now. They got the wheel fork backwards and the handle bars correct.

Indeed. i should have been clearer. forgiveness please.

you know, I think you were right. nice work.

meathome: Your Average Witty Fark User: CSB:

When I was about four or so, my dad told me to go to the store and buy smokes. I didn't know any better, so I hopped in my battery powered 4x4 and drove off- at something like 4 mph. I managed to get about a mile down the road before I was finally found- and promptly punished, because at 4 I was supposed to know that he was kidding.

Yep. Been there, done that.

Some people don't get it that kids don't quite get the "sarcasm" bit yet, and that their sense of humor is not quite that well defined.

/had to have a LOT of chats with my future brother-in-law about this
//his 2 1/2 year old daughter has done a couple of things that we'd prefer her not to... usually because her dad isn't smart enough to realize that she's 2 1/2, and has the mentality of, wait for it, a 2 1/2 year old.

I have kids this age. They believe anything I tell them. While my son wouldn't walk into traffic if I told him to, he'd certainly attempt to walk to the store. You're absolutely right, kids this age don't get sarcasm. Bold part above (my emphasis) is spot on.

Your Average Witty Fark User: : Your Average Witty Fark User: CSB:

When I was about four or so, my dad told me to go to the store and buy smokes. I didn't know any better, so I hopped in my battery powered 4x4 and drove off- at something like 4 mph. I managed to get about a mile down the road before I was finally found- and promptly punished, because at 4 I was supposed to know that he was kidding.

Yep. Been there, done that.

Some people don't get it that kids don't quite get the "sarcasm" bit yet, and that their sense of humor is not quite that well defined.

/had to have a LOT of chats with my future brother-in-law about this
//his 2 1/2 year old daughter has done a couple of things that we'd prefer her not to... usually because her dad isn't smart enough to realize that she's 2 1/2, and has the mentality of, wait for it, a 2 1/2 year old.

I have kids this age. They believe anything I tell them. While my son wouldn't walk into traffic if I told him to, he'd certainly attempt to walk to the store. You're absolutely right, kids this age don't get sarcasm. Bold part above (my emphasis) is spot on.

Kids can't even reliably detect sarcasm until about first grade. They won't see the humor in it until about fourth or fifth grade. It's a developmental stage.

Uchiha_Cycliste: you know, I think you were right. nice work.

namegoeshere: Not at all. It was an interesting bike assembly conversation.

I think this has been the most polite debate I have ever seen on Fark or, indeed, on the internet in its entirety!

/it's been a pleasure!

StaleCoffee: namegoeshere: Pert: namegoeshere: Mock26: namegoeshere: Mock26: Well, it looks like I own Pert an apology. It seems that he is correct about something being backwards. That is the Kettler Speedy Balance Bike and the fork is not completely straight. There is a very slight forward bend to the fork and in the picture of the kid (best seen in the Hitler picture) it does appear to be backwards. The difference, however, is very small. Good eye, Pert.

[img.photobucket.com image 633x495]

But that fat piece on the vertical bar is hard-welded. How can it be backwards? The turning bar goes through the fixed piece. And in the kid pic, the handlebars are angled correctly. Perhaps they are slightly different models?

The handlebars are not welded to the fork and the fork can freely spin 360-degrees in the head tube.

Yeah, I see that now. They got the wheel fork backwards and the handle bars correct.

Indeed. i should have been clearer. forgiveness please.

Not at all. It was an interesting bike assembly conversation.

It's what happens if you start drinking on christmas eve before you get the bike assembled. Once you've got it all together and you realize it's backwards but still moves, you just want to go to bed or fark your wife, and it's not like she's going to notice. You're supposed to fix it the next day after he uses it and goes to bed again, but nobody notices and you forget about it. Spring comes and the neighbor kid says "Hey, why is that on backwards?" and your son comes and says "Dad, why is this on backwards?" and it's either explain the truth or say "Well, son, Santa? Old, rich white guy? The elves were pushing for better medical benefits and, you see... I was going to get that bike from Toys'r'Us, but we knew you wanted one from Santa even though he's using sweat shops in China now - not like you knew that, and we didn't want to ruin the holiday for you. So, I apologize for the sub standard bike and I promise to buy one for you myself next year."

This also ...

The sad part of this story is that you wanted to fark your wife on Christmas eve, and she didn't notice. Is that why now you insist on decorating the tree with only blue balls?