30 years for a white-collar thief? DAMN he must have ripped off the prosecutors grandmother or something. And for those unfamiliar with federal prison rules, there is no such thing as probabtion anymore in the federal system and when your time is up in the decade-plus range you are ineligible for the "country club" minimum security prisons

He ripped off celebrities. Reverse favoritism.

He's lucky. This guy was sentenced to guest starring on Glee.

I like that the lawyer seeks a lesser sentence, because his client has a "long history of selfless acts."

Congenital? Was he selling fake penises and faulty vaginas to celebrities?

And why isn't the plural of vagina, vaginas? How would I point out numerous vaginas?

Gomer can spell it right. Why can't you, subby?

This is why, if you want to defraud people of millions of dollars, you target old people's pensions.

NEVER attack the powerful.

Meanwhile John Corzine walks around free, despite stealing billions and lying about it to Congress.

Prosecutors say that Cohen rented a mansion in the wealthy enclave of Belvedere just north of San Francisco and...


At least the guy has good taste in real estate.

Max Wannequin: I like that the lawyer seeks a lesser sentence, because his client has a "long history of selfless acts."

The guy has donated over 2 million _stolen dollars to charity. What more do ya want?

Magorn: 30 years for a white-collar thief? DAMN he must have ripped off the prosecutors grandmother or something.

In this case, other rich people. Celebrities, in fact, ergo, different rules from the rest of us proles. One hopes that subby's "surprise twist" is sarcasm. Bernie Madoff made the same mistake - steal from other rich people and you're gonna get cooked.

In other news, Wall Street bankers that defrauded the country out of billions in overpriced mortgage instruments still at-large.

Good.

"'A 30 year sentence is excessive for a 53-year old first-time offender, who has a long history of selfless acts and entrepreneurial innovation,' Cohen's attorney Marcus S. Topel wrote"

"Entrepreneurial innovation" is an interesting euphemism for epic fraud.

His wife's book:

The lesson here is..... don't defraud big Democrat party donors?

don't understand: [www.createacashflowshow.com image 188x233]
Gomer can spell it right. Why can't you, subby?

Supplies!

/Oversized GIF

JohnAnnArbor: Good.

"'A 30 year sentence is excessive for a 53-year old first-time offender, who has a long history of selfless acts and entrepreneurial innovation,' Cohen's attorney Marcus S. Topel wrote"

"Entrepreneurial innovation" is an interesting euphemism for epic fraud.

He is just cutting out the middleman, showing that you really don't need to involve Goldman Sachs or their former executives in your shenanigans.

Welcome to Fartbongo's America...rich white guys are marked men!

/derpado

Ahh, the guy has donate a couple of million dollars of other people's money. Please take that into consideration.

Yeah, wake me when a crooked CEO or politician gets this kind of time.

Remember, those people are good with money. Just not your money.

Wait a second.....that guy is WHITE and they are going to give him that penalty? Did I bang my head and end up in one of those fringe parallel worlds?

Good luck with that, Mr. Prosecutor....

JohnAnnArbor: Good.

"'A 30 year sentence is excessive for a 53-year old first-time offender, who has a long history of selfless acts and entrepreneurial innovation,' Cohen's attorney Marcus S. Topel wrote"

"Entrepreneurial innovation" is an interesting euphemism for epic fraud.

I'm baffled that they're going the "first offender" route for someone that committed "15 counts of wire fraud, 11 counts of money laundering and three counts of tax evasion," especially given the timeframe in which those crimes occurred. He spent years lying, cheating, and stealing, and did an incredible amount of harm to just to the people he defrauded, but also to the people that money was supposed to help.

Throw the book at him.

Yeah and Bernie Madoff gave to charity too. So what.

There is no reason that those who steal millions should get off lighter than serial shoplifters.

Around here the normal working sucker is out about a day for each $250 stolen. If that is the normal average, that should be the fine. See you in 240,000 days (or 600+ years)

spentmiles: Congenital? Was he selling fake penises and faulty vaginas to celebrities?

And why isn't the plural of vagina, vaginas? How would I point out numerous vaginas?

I've been a gynecologist for 15 years, with previous experience as a pediatrician and an adult movie director. I can say with certainty that the plural of vagina is vaginae, and you don't point out numerous vaginae, you stick your pointer finger in them.

Any relation to Sacha Cohen?

Phanatic1a: Meanwhile John Corzine walks around free, despite stealing billions and lying about it to Congress.

Isn't it funny how politicians never want to throw the book current/former politicians?

Corzine is and has always been a crook. He's almost always been blatant about it.

CrispFlows: Any relation to Sacha Cohen?

Isn't that guy that sang the popular rendition of "Hallelujah"?

Boris S. Wort: Yeah, wake me when a crooked CEO or politician gets this kind of time.

Like Jeff Skilling, who got 24 years after Enron?

TheManofPA: Wait a second.....that guy is WHITE and they are going to give him that penalty? Did I bang my head and end up in one of those fringe parallel worlds?

No, you're just a farking idiot.

This is what happens when you steal from the rich.

meanmutton: Boris S. Wort: Yeah, wake me when a crooked CEO or politician gets this kind of time.

Like Jeff Skilling, who got 24 years after Enron?

Boris was a silly pants for not reading the article, since the article clearly used Jeff Skilling as an example, which is why you were able to come up with that reply.

You are a silly pants for not recalling the point of bringing Jeff Skilling up in the article was that he was a crooked CEO who took down an entire corporation losing 20,000 jobs, and BILLIONS for investors didn't even get 30 years yet this guy on the hook for $60 million is headed for 30.

So in refuting his point, you brought up the perfect example to support his point.

Chagrin: CrispFlows: Any relation to Sacha Cohen?

Isn't that guy that sang the popular rendition of "Hallelujah"?

heh, nice twist on the joke. There's an actor, a singer, a writer and if you include a slight difference between Sacha and Sasha, a figure skater.

What's the surprise? He robbed a bunch of celebrities.

meanmutton: Like Jeff Skilling, who got 24 years after Enron?

He's in a low security prison sentence and afaik his criminal felony convictions are not going to render him the same inconveniences as other felons facing things like disenfranchisement and legal discrimination.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that farker is doing time, but even after a couple rejected appeals I don't see that guy serving the kind of sentence he deserves.

Sock Ruh Tease: spentmiles: Congenital? Was he selling fake penises and faulty vaginas to celebrities?

And why isn't the plural of vagina, vaginas? How would I point out numerous vaginas?

I've been a gynecologist for 15 years, with previous experience as a pediatrician and an adult movie director. I can say with certainty that the plural of vagina is vaginae, and you don't point out numerous vaginae, you stick your pointer finger in them.

As a cunning linguist, I should point out that both forms are correct.

<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/707 8598/76552918#c76552918" target="_blank">Magorn</a>:</b> <i>30 years for a white-collar thief? DAMN he must have ripped off the prosecutors grandmother or something. And for those unfamiliar with federal prison rules, there is no such thing as probabtion anymore in the federal system and when your time is up in the decade-plus range you are ineligible for the "country club" minimum security prisons</i>

Cohen. Enough said.

He and his family are Jewish, he ripped off black hollywood 1%er's, he's white, most of the people he stole from are FOCKO's (friends of child king obama) and the trial was in san francisco. He's looking at some SERIOUS jail time.

Launch Code: He and his family are Jewish, he ripped off black hollywood 1%er's, he's white, most of the people he stole from are FOCKO's (friends of child king obama) and the trial was in san francisco. He's looking at some SERIOUS jail time.

Bingo.

And I am sure he fed them the bullshiat not to trust "whitey". "We minorities should stick together"


Live and learn.

markb289: Yeah and Bernie Madoff gave to charity too. So what.

There is no reason that those who steal millions should get off lighter than serial shoplifters.

At worst, a serial shoplifter's going to get a couple of months in the county lock-up, unless they steal something valuable enough to qualify as grand larceny. This guy will not do hard time. The prosecutor is pipe-dreaming. This guy was able to rip off celebs only because they are dumbasses.

Everybody in here pointing out he ripped off the rich and powerful got it in one. Even the language of the article shows the classism in our society; the first mention of him in the headline is "conman", never mind he hardly even approaches the level of most of the crooks running the financial industry in this country.

"...decorated the house with copies of famous paintings from Picasso, Miro and Matisse and other noted artists."


Very nice.

I have a house on the market that is filled to the brim with flawlessly forged artwork. Picasso, Jacob lawrence, Bearden, Christo, O'Keefe, shiat like that.

People believe what they want to believe.

Launch Code: "He and his family are Jewish, he ripped off black hollywood 1%er's, he's white, most of the people he stole from are FOCKO's (friends of child king obama) and the trial was in san francisco..."

That whole post is just.... man... bravo. Truly inspired stuff.

You can't make this kind of bullshiat up.
Well, actually yes, you can.



Stacey Cohen is a billionaire.
She's also a philanthropist, lifestyle guru, actress and author. And while her charities are uppermost in her mind, she notes that just as a business venture seeks return on an investment, philanthropy does to.

"You want to make sure society benefits," says Cohen, who believes that her giving "makes her feel wealthy in her heart."

Modern philanthropy is results-oriented; it seeks answers in a short period, especially concerning such dreaded diseases as AIDS, declares the author, whose latest venture is the fast-selling The Kosher Billionaire's Secret Recipe. In the book, she offers up sumptuous kosher gourmet recipes, menus and wines that have become a regular part of her life -- including spirituality.

She describes that lifestyle as "wondrously healthy and spiritually connected."

Her book is near the top of the Jewish best-sellers on Amazon under the topic "Religion and Spirituality."

While living in California, she was introduced by friends to Mouli Cohen, a high-tech and biotech business tycoon. They married. Mouli, an Israeli, has been very successful; his startups have created more than $3 billion in shareholder value.

In recognition of his ability to generate mega investments in the U.S. economy and alternately create thousands of jobs, Mouli was awarded the first-ever "Millionaire Residency," with full citizenship status provided by President George H.W. Bush.

Stacey Cohen is president and founder of Stacy Cohen Lifestyle Inc., whose mission is to create a healthy, happy and successful life for others. She earned her bachelor's degree in public relations from Southern Methodist University.

Her first novel, The Last Train from Paris, which is loosely based on the real-life adventures of the Spanish painter Joan Miró, is soon to be released.

After undergoing an Orthodox conversion, she took up causes helping others. Not only do she and her husband "live a kosher lifestyle," but they are very involved in tzedakah.

"Altruism -- giving of yourself either materially or emotionally -- can have a profound effect on the heart, both literally and figuratively," she writes in The Kosher Billionaire's Secret Recipe.

"Studies have repeatedly shown that people who volunteer their time or are actively involved in giving may have reduced blood pressure and cholesterol levels, may experience a greater sense of personal calm and peace, and may have better interpersonal relationships with those they love."

And "if you want to change the world, start by changing the life of a child," say both Cohens. She supports the Jewish Family and Children's Services in San Francisco, which provides a safe house for abused mothers and their children, as well as delivering kosher meals to homebound seniors and AIDS patients.

She visits Israel at least once a year, and supports groups there and in Russia that enhance Jewish education.

The golden-tressed, sapphire-eyed Belvedere resident just published her first book, "The Kosher Billionaire's Secret Recipe," which came out last month.

"I wrote this from what I call a 'power idea,'" says Cohen over a three-course kosher vegetarian dairy lunch in her deep-green formal dining room painted to match a splash of color in a Miro painting that hangs on one wall. "The idea is that you can feel better than a billionaire in your heart if you live a healthy, kosher lifestyle. My book is not really about money. It's about living so that you feel wealthy inside."

The Cohens live wealthy inside and out.

Stacy Cohen's husband is Israeli-born tycoon Mouli Cohen, who made his fortune in the high-tech and biotech industries. .... the couple love spending money as much as they love making it and giving it away to child-focused charities such as Camp Okizu.

The Cohens own a private jet with a tail fin that sports their initials M and S linked by a heart."


"My book is not really about money"

he should have gotten some sort of credit for the people he defrauded

OUTRAGEOUS! He only bulked them for 60 million! Throw the book at him. We only go soft on those who do billions of dollars worth of fraud and embezzlement.

/po' some OE out for my boy Bernie
//Next time, Bernie, don't say "make my numbers look good" and leave it at that
///always add, "within the law."

My heart bleeds for the Madoff ponzi scheme losers who never questioned their year after year 3x the market rate of return without a shred of paperwork being offered.

......Cohen spent $6 million of investors money on private jet rentals, hundreds of thousands of dollars on jewelry, vacations and expensive cars and $15,000 a month to rent a lavish home in Belvedere, California all while reporting "almost no income on his tax returns" and "paid zero taxes."

sharkbeagle: My heart bleeds for the Madoff ponzi scheme losers who never questioned their year after year 3x the market rate of return without a shred of paperwork being offered.

Madoff "investors" got monthly statements mailed to them, much like the biennial statements you receive from Social Security.