So have sex in public.

Have sex with Ann. She's a worm. It'd be kinky.

Dear Gas Mask,

Check your aim.

Sincerely,
Prudence

Maybe she's trying to tell you something.

Maybe you shouldn't pound away on her so hard like that? You know, someone can only hold it in so well when they're getting nailed like a porn star.

Those Aren't Farts

Local Man: [images2.makefive.com image 175x152]

Those Aren't Farts

Well, they're a *kind* of fart.

James Joyce wants her number.

I hear some guys pay extra for that

You're going to greenlight this? Seriously?

Hah!

The My Little Pony Killer: Have sex with Ann. She's a worm. It'd be kinky.

What was that all about? It looked like they were personal vendetta's she was mixing in with the advice letters.

Gallant goes in the bathroom and farts before sex. Goofus lets it rip during sexy time.

Only natural when you're going ATM...

/air.....let it out

You guys think farts are funny, why not queefs?

What's wrong with farting? We're all biological beings. We're all animals, with digestive tracts that produce gas. We all need to rid ourselves of that gas.

To say that farting is rude, while coughing or sneezing isn't is completely stupid.

Grow up and get over it already.

Adjust your angle.

sweetmelissa31: James Joyce wants her number.

big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole.

~*fartie time*~

It's gotta escape somehow

Understands the problem.

Wasn't this an episode of Rescue Me?

Just emulate James Joyce. Problem solved.

kisseswookies: You guys think farts are funny, why not queefs?

"It is wonderful to fark a farting woman when every fark drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also. "

Interesting, I'm the exact opposite.

Stick it in her butt. Block gas release. Problem solved.

That stinks.

I was startled, although I know I probably should not have been, by the college kid who is facing the prospect of doing laundry for the first time. OMG, what to do????

kisseswookies: You guys think farts are funny, why not queefs?

Bleh! Come on, don't be gross.

cgraves67: Stick it in her butt. Block gas release. Problem solved.

Maybe the problem IS that he's banging her in the ass. It's stirring everything up.

Maybe if she didn't feel the need to hold it in during other times she would not have a problem with it coming out once she relaxes.

is this about james joyce's love letters again?

have her use beano before beginning bedtime excursions

kisseswookies: You guys think farts are funny, why not queefs?

Because neither Scrabble nor Words With Friends will take it as a word.

cgraves67: Stick it in her butt. Block gas release. Problem solved.

Yeah, until she inflates yer sack!

Somewhere a Farker is masturbating to that story.

Q. Do I Tell Her?: My 9-year-old daughter cannot sing. Really, it's awful. She gets this total tone deafness from me

Have you tried YouTube? Apparently talentless singers are all over that thing, and she'll either make it viral or get so totally pwned she'll turn into one of those deaf mutes.

bim1154: Somewhere a Farker is masturbating to that story.

Found me

Simple solution. Every time you do it, make sure there's a dog in the room.

FTA: A: Light up the incense and light my fire!

Is she nuts?!? Damn, I wouldn't light up anything near there. Results could be catastrophic.

Poor guy can't even smoke after sex.

/not to mention rimjobs
//someone mention rimjobs?

It's not gas. It's queef.

Your penis. It's too small.

Things not allowed per Fark rules:

Graphic text content: Graphic language fits right in with content. FARK is not an erotica site, nor is it a clearinghouse for random encounters or potential dates, a place for "who can tell the most disgusting story" contests, or a journal for your (or anyone else's) bodily/biological functions

que'(ef)?

have sex like the english couple in family guy.

almost,almost,almost.....done.

I just don't think I would be able to carry on. Farts don't gross me out particularly and sure, if a girl farted whilst we were having sex I'd probably laugh and carry on. But after the second or third time I think it would just be a bit too much. Maybe I'd be laughing too much to continue, maybe it would even gross me out a little if she kept doing it. I don't know what my reaction would be but I can't see myself being able to carry on.

joonyer: It's not gas. It's queef.

Your penis. It's too small.

I am ashamed to say this but that was my first thought. If he was filling that thing up properly, Queefer Sutherland wouldn't be taking on so much air.

FYI: If any of you Farkers or Farkettes have yet to use a 'female condom', it comes with lube and plenty of farting sounds - basically doin' it using a trash bag.

/themoreyouknow.jpeg

Crank up the sex tunes, and turn on some high powered fans. Put on a strobe light, a disco ball, make it look like a music video, and have to fun with it.

Butt plug?

mjg: FYI: If any of you Farkers or Farkettes have yet to use a 'female condom', it comes with lube and plenty of farting sounds - basically doin' it using a trash bag.

/themoreyouknow.jpeg

Lol, the things you learn on Fark. Kinda glad I've never given those things a whirl now, I'd probably be cracking up too much to continue.

/ Hefty hefty hefty
// Wimpy wimpy wimpy

Buttplug.
Or a duck call, if she has a sense of humor.