| William Orders, a hang glider pilot, stands accused of swallowing key evidence in a young woman's death. For once, police are closely following Orders |
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| ecl
sex + hang glider = death |
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| Your Average Witty Fark User
Have they found her body yet? Last I had heard, they were still searching. /sad |
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| cyberspacedout
If he swallowed the memory card, will it eventually pass for evidence? |
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| fat boy This too will pass |
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| NobleHam
I'm sure they're also watching his movements very closely. |
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| sno man I hope that wasn't anything bigger than an SD card, for his sake... even that seems to have gotten hung up, four days on... MORE FIBER! |
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gweilo8888
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| i_got_no_strings
Your Average Witty Fark User: Have they found her body yet? Last I had heard, they were still searching. /sad Yeah, they found her body near one of his shoes; apparently she tried to hang onto his legs before losing her grip and falling. The fact that he swallowed the memory card suggests that something very wrong or very unorthodox happened on this flight even before she started falling. /staying on the ground, thanks |
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| here to help Is it just me or was that article extremely confusing? |
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| Satanic_Hamster But he noted he hopes the charges don't overshadow remembering the victim. "I mean, oh my god, watching that? And now we're looking at criminal charges, which has totally taken away from the people." He's right, they should just drop the investigation all together. You know, to honor the victim and not take away from her memory. |
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| Bill_Wick's_Friend
Since it happened in Chilliwack I imagine that when the boyfriend watched her fall he screamed "My Giiiiiiiiiirl! Gone gone gone. She been gone so long." |
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| fusillade762 Funny, we just had a skydiving death here in Oregon where the helmet cameras mysteriously went missing. Skydiver falls to death on Oregon coast, investigators looking for his helmet cameras |
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| Triumph |
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| sno man Bill_Wick's_Friend: Since it happened in Chilliwack I imagine that when the boyfriend watched her fall he screamed "My Giiiiiiiiiirl! Gone gone gone. She been gone so long." boo! golf clap... tough call. |
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| Bondith
Bill Wick's Friend Since it happened in Chilliwack I imagine that when the boyfriend watched her fall he screamed "My Giiiiiiiiiirl! Gone gone gone. She been gone so long." *slow clap* Maybe he can seek solace in the arms of Mary. |
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| BruinsHockey
If he gets off maybe when he jumps again he'll fly at night |
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| Birnone
My theory: The moment she fell he suddenly remembered whatever it is he screwed up, like not attaching her properly. On the flight down he realized it was all recorded on that memory card. So after she ate it, he ate it. |
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| Isildur
Satanic_Hamster: But he noted he hopes the charges don't overshadow remembering the victim. "I mean, oh my god, watching that? And now we're looking at criminal charges, which has totally taken away from the people." He's right, they should just drop the investigation all together. You know, to honor the victim and not take away from her memory. Yeah, that stuck out as a bizarrely clumsy attempt at feigning sincere concern. That guy isn't very good at judging how his speech comes across to others, if that's his idea of subtly framing the issue to his friend's advantage. It's just so obviously a shameless appropriation of the tragedy for use in defending his friend, that it comes off as an almost cartoonishly slimy thing to say. |
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| Gyrfalcon NobleHam: I'm sure they're also watching his movements very closely. In case his bowels get in an uproar? |
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| change1211
Birnone: My theory: The moment she fell he suddenly remembered whatever it is he screwed up, like not attaching her properly. On the flight down he realized it was all recorded on that memory card. So after she ate it, he ate it. That's the common theory, he's being held until he passes the media card. |
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| rf134a
Bill_Wick's_Friend: Since it happened in Chilliwack I imagine that when the boyfriend watched her fall he screamed "My Giiiiiiiiiirl! Gone gone gone. She been gone so long." sno man: Bill_Wick's_Friend: Since it happened in Chilliwack I imagine that when the boyfriend watched her fall he screamed "My Giiiiiiiiiirl! Gone gone gone. She been gone so long." boo! golf clap... tough call. I can't believe I remember that... Youtube video /1 ticket, window seat. |
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| otto the bull
She was gone in a flash. But at least he still has her memory. |
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| soupbone
Bill_Wick's_Friend: Since it happened in Chilliwack I imagine that when the boyfriend watched her fall he screamed "My Giiiiiiiiiirl! Gone gone gone. She been gone so long." Stop stealing other people's jokes Carlos Mencia. Link |
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| Shahab
change1211: Birnone: My theory: The moment she fell he suddenly remembered whatever it is he screwed up, like not attaching her properly. On the flight down he realized it was all recorded on that memory card. So after she ate it, he ate it. That's the common theory, he's being held until he passes the media card. If was smart he would have crushed it up into as small of pieces as he could manage before eating it, that way it would be much harder to detect in the feces and impossible to recover anything from. At least one or the other. It is certainly a really sad thing to see happen, anybody dying like that, falling to their death from on high. |
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| Roquefort
Why would he swallow it instead of, I don't know, just letting it fall to the ground in the middle of the wilderness? |
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| Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom First of all, the Orders is gonna be in deep shiat. Now that that's out of the way, man, I wonder what happened? She tried to hang onto his legs when she fell, so what preceded that? Can you rape someone that's harnessed to you? Ugh I hope we get to see what's buried deep within the bowels of that memory card. |
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| Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom Roquefort: Why would he swallow it instead of, I don't know, just letting it fall to the ground in the middle of the wilderness? Uh, he did. That's what this whose case is abou- oh, wait, you're referring to the memory card. Nevermind. |
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| stuffer
Roquefort: Why would he swallow it instead of, I don't know, just letting it fall to the ground in the middle of the wilderness? maybe he couldn't reach it until he landed. scary hearing how he wrapped his legs around her and she pulled off his shoe as she fell... 1000 feet, 8 seconds of freaky thoughts, plus however long the leg wrap/grab kept her dangling. Wish someone could pause right before the splat and interview her to find out what just went through her head. |
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| Representative of the unwashed masses
stuffer: Roquefort: Why would he swallow it instead of, I don't know, just letting it fall to the ground in the middle of the wilderness? maybe he couldn't reach it until he landed. scary hearing how he wrapped his legs around her and she pulled off his shoe as she fell... 1000 feet, 8 seconds of freaky thoughts, plus however long the leg wrap/grab kept her dangling. Wish someone could pause right before the splat and interview her to find out what just went through her head. I'm guessing a fir tree branch... |
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| magu2k
Just wait till the silicon hits the anus. |
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| RandomRandom
Shahab: If was smart he would have crushed it up into as small of pieces as he could manage before eating it, If he were smart he'd have removed the card and "gone to the bathroom". Then picked up a spare card they probably have in the office, putting it in the camera. "Damn, I musta forgot to turn on the camera, the card has video from some guy I took up last week" Some people freak out under stress. |
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| klaybc
OK, memory card is coming out... |
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| Marshall Banana
My bet - she was hanging on to his legs, and he was starting to lose control of the craft and plummet to the ground himself, so he kicked until she let go. |
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| Krieghund Marshall Banana: My bet - she was hanging on to his legs, and he was starting to lose control of the craft and plummet to the ground himself, so he kicked until she let go. Yeah, that was my thought. Sort of like a panicked drowning person can pull a rescuer under water. |
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| fragMasterFlash POOP THREAD! |
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| AuralArgument
This is a life risking activity, I have little sympathy for those who perish doing such an activity, part of the rush is that you're defying death. |
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| Bowel Shaking Earthquakes of Doubt and Remorse
Gyrfalcon: NobleHam: I'm sure they're also watching his movements very closely. In case his bowels get in an uproar? Indeed. |
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| Skr
My guess is perhaps it was the fall was not negligent technical failure, but when she fell, she held onto him, he panicked and kicked her off. |
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| fanbladesaresharp
"So when the RCMP have taken a different direction, I'm really trying to figure out what that direction is." Straight to the ground. /Ron White |
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| aearra
Brilliant Subby. |
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| sunlion
This dude was hang gliding off a cliff, and forgot to hook in his harness. He fell through brush and ended up hanging onto the side of the cliff by nothing but a tiny root. Just dangling there precariously. He hears this voice booming from above saying "This is the Lord God, John. Trust me. Just let go." John is shaking and terrified, but says "I can't let go, God. I can't. I'll fall." God says "John, just trust me, JUST LET GO." John is too scared, but he's getting weaker by the second, and this conversation goes on and on. Finally he lets go. John falls and ... and... ...splatters onto the rocks below. As he's laying there all broken and dying, he casts his broken eyes to the sky, and somehow says, through his broken jaw... "Why, God, why?" And God says "Because you're an asshole." |
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| MythDragon I had once been accused of deliberately choking a woman. But I got off because she swallowed the evidence. /hey-oh |
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| MythDragon stuffer: Wish someone could pause right before the splat and interview her to find out what just went through her head. Her tibia. ...she dropped from the glider and fell... I don't think you can be doing it any more wrong. |
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| LavenderWolf
Marshall Banana: My bet - she was hanging on to his legs, and he was starting to lose control of the craft and plummet to the ground himself, so he kicked until she let go. Yeah, sounds like he reached the "Fark you, I WANNA LIVE" point. |
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| arcas
I'm surprised he didn't simply drop it while in flight. No way would investigators ever locate a memory card dropped into a wooded area from 1000 feet. |
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| sharkbeagle
So the RCMP is thinking he murdered her in the most insane way possible and recorded it? |
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| Satanic_Hamster sharkbeagle: So the RCMP is thinking he murdered her in the most insane way possible and recorded it? More likely did something very incompetent or stupid that contributed to her death. If was recording them from the start, it might show that he forget to hook up her safety line or something like that. |
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| FarkerinMN
I just really don't understand how you would forget to hook up something important like that. I skydive and I double check my gear after I have checked it to make sure I checked it to make sure i checked it to make sure I checked it after I am positive I hooked everything up properly. Just seems like the proper thing to be a little OCD about. Also Im guessing he swallowed it after he landed because the camera was probably mounted on the very tip of the glider out of reach. |
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| FreakyBunny My wife bought me a hang glide ride for my 40th birthday last year and the whole thing was recorded on the wing cam from set up to landing. Hooking people up requires at least two sets of qualified eyes and the modern harness is more a sling than a collection of ropes and clips. I agree with those who think he finally had to kick her off of himself so he could land the glider without dying himself. If she was a goner either way you can't blame him for saving himself. One thing's for sure...whatever happened was traumatic for the operator. He probably blamed himself and then panicked out of shame. I feel for the guy because this was a once in a lifetime, horrible event. I don't know what I would do if I were in his harness. |
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| silverjets
I'm guessing that it shows her holding onto his legs hoping not to fall and him shaking or kicking her off so that she doesn't pull him down too. |
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