Reminds me of this NSFW Link

I entered the famed sugar walls, but somehow, left with less than sweetness.......

I got gonorrhea of the throat my freshman year of university. I guess it was the whole experience of being away from home for the first time. I went a little wild and did some things that I'm ashamed to even think about now. I would never engage in any kind of sex, anal OR oral, without a condom. The pleasure is not worth the quilt.

If your tap is going drip drip drip - give peter rooter a call.

Peter rooter, thats the name you just flush your troubles down the drain

Give NZ a clap !!

Shortly after his liaison with the taco stand lady, joe makes a horrible discovery...

Joe:
Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I don't want no doctor
To stick no needle in me
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I got it from the toilet seat
I got it from the toilet seat
It jumped right up
N grabbed my meat
Got it from the toilet seat
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Oh God I probably got the
Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus!
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Ai-ee-ai-ee-ahhhh!
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it hurt...when i
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

Thank goodness it wasn't Suwannee Sue, or else they'd all have Indonesian Red Syphilis!

Link

spentmiles: I got gonorrhea of the throat my freshman year of university. I guess it was the whole experience of being away from home for the first time. I went a little wild and did some things that I'm ashamed to even think about now. I would never engage in any kind of sex, anal OR oral, without a condom. The pleasure is not worth the quilt.

So when we see you making fun of gays and expounding the evils of homosexuality, we are hearing the voice of experience?

spentmiles: I got gonorrhea of the throat my freshman year of university. I guess it was the whole experience of being away from home for the first time. I went a little wild and did some things that I'm ashamed to even think about now. I would never engage in any kind of sex, anal OR oral, without a condom. The pleasure is not worth the quilt.

Totally was convinces this dancer gave me the herps in the throat. Turned out to be a hell of a scare, but that is all it was. Now her, sitting in a sitz bath for a week because she really did contract it, that was a riot. Apparently, she had been cheating on me with another guy. And another girl. And some of the people in her dance troupe. And a biker gang. And an old school leather and BDSM club in a warehouse own by the river. And anyone who caught her eye on the bus. And some of the younger boys in her neighborhood.
So, clearly one should always wrap that rascal and don't stick your tongue anywhere you wouldn't want to store food in .

Semi-relevant question. I'd heard that if a girl had an STD, 99% of the time you'd either be able to see or smell that something was wrong once you got near her snatch. Is that true or just an urban legend.

/I ask for a friend of mine...

I didn't need to RTFA - the damn ewe lied to me and said I was her first....oh...wait...

DAMN YOU PENNICILLIN PENNY!

The sound of one hand clapping: Semi-relevant question. I'd heard that if a girl had an STD, 99% of the time you'd either be able to see or smell that something was wrong once you got near her snatch. Is that true or just an urban legend.

/I ask for a friend of mine...

Great question. During my gynecology residency at a Planned Parenthood center in Detroit, I got to see, hear, and smell every possible vaginal malady. So yes, what you've heard is correct, you can smell disease. Run of the mill herpes smells sort of like burnt toast with maybe a hint of peanut butter. Gonorrhea's scent is much stronger, like you stepped in dog shiat. Syphilis actually smells pretty good, like a bag of watermelon Jolly Ranchers but just a touch of bad shrimp that have sat in a hot car all afternoon. AIDS is by far the worst. If you've ever caught a small animal in a live-trap and then forgotten to check it for a week or so, you'll know the smell. A healthy vagina has absolutely no scent at all, not even to dogs. If you can smell ANYTHING, then get the hell away from it. She may not have an STD like cervical cancer, but there's definitely something unhealthy about her.

I thought socialists and liberals all practice safe sex.

I am a lonesome cowboy
I got the gonorrEEEAH
I got it from Maria
She gave it to me free-ah
It hurts me when I pee-ah

/poet laureate of the privy

spentmiles: The sound of one hand clapping: Semi-relevant question. I'd heard that if a girl had an STD, 99% of the time you'd either be able to see or smell that something was wrong once you got near her snatch. Is that true or just an urban legend.

/I ask for a friend of mine...

Great question. During my gynecology residency at a Planned Parenthood center in Detroit, I got to see, hear, and smell every possible vaginal malady. So yes, what you've heard is correct, you can smell disease. Run of the mill herpes smells sort of like burnt toast with maybe a hint of peanut butter. Gonorrhea's scent is much stronger, like you stepped in dog shiat. Syphilis actually smells pretty good, like a bag of watermelon Jolly Ranchers but just a touch of bad shrimp that have sat in a hot car all afternoon. AIDS is by far the worst. If you've ever caught a small animal in a live-trap and then forgotten to check it for a week or so, you'll know the smell. A healthy vagina has absolutely no scent at all, not even to dogs. If you can smell ANYTHING, then get the hell away from it. She may not have an STD like cervical cancer, but there's definitely something unhealthy about her.

You are a wise man. I shall never doubt your words.

I see the Zappa reference is covered. Carry on.

Gonorrhoea- Obama just found the name for his next kid.

spentmiles: The sound of one hand clapping: Semi-relevant question. I'd heard that if a girl had an STD, 99% of the time you'd either be able to see or smell that something was wrong once you got near her snatch. Is that true or just an urban legend.

/I ask for a friend of mine...

Great question. During my gynecology residency at a Planned Parenthood center in Detroit, I got to see, hear, and smell every possible vaginal malady. So yes, what you've heard is correct, you can smell disease. Run of the mill herpes smells sort of like burnt toast with maybe a hint of peanut butter. Gonorrhea's scent is much stronger, like you stepped in dog shiat. Syphilis actually smells pretty good, like a bag of watermelon Jolly Ranchers but just a touch of bad shrimp that have sat in a hot car all afternoon. AIDS is by far the worst. If you've ever caught a small animal in a live-trap and then forgotten to check it for a week or so, you'll know the smell. A healthy vagina has absolutely no scent at all, not even to dogs. If you can smell ANYTHING, then get the hell away from it. She may not have an STD like cervical cancer, but there's definitely something unhealthy about her.

I feel pretty damn honoured right about now. This is my first ever spentmiles reply and a damn good one at that.

spentmiles: The sound of one hand clapping: Semi-relevant question. I'd heard that if a girl had an STD, 99% of the time you'd either be able to see or smell that something was wrong once you got near her snatch. Is that true or just an urban legend.

/I ask for a friend of mine...

Great question. During my gynecology residency at a Planned Parenthood center in Detroit, I got to see, hear, and smell every possible vaginal malady. So yes, what you've heard is correct, you can smell disease. Run of the mill herpes smells sort of like burnt toast with maybe a hint of peanut butter. Gonorrhea's scent is much stronger, like you stepped in dog shiat. Syphilis actually smells pretty good, like a bag of watermelon Jolly Ranchers but just a touch of bad shrimp that have sat in a hot car all afternoon. AIDS is by far the worst. If you've ever caught a small animal in a live-trap and then forgotten to check it for a week or so, you'll know the smell. A healthy vagina has absolutely no scent at all, not even to dogs. If you can smell ANYTHING, then get the hell away from it. She may not have an STD like cervical cancer, but there's definitely something unhealthy about her.

Very nice.

Was anyone else surprised that this story didn't involve sheep in any way?

So I was going down on this gal in college and I come across this piece of lettuce with like mayo on it, but I pull it out and keep going. Then I come across this piece of tomato, but pull it out and keep going, then I find this hard thing and when I pull it out, it's an entire strip of bacon. Cooked. I sit up and I say, "What kind of sick-o are you, anyway"? She just shrugs, and says, "I'm not a sick-o, but the guy that was here an hour ago. . . "