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   Hillary Clinton wants to help Jason Segel forget Sarah Marshall, but only if there are muppets involved

03 May 2012 12:43 PM   |   6955 clicks   |   Daily Stab
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Diogenes    [TotalFark]  
Hillary v. Ms. Piggy catfight!

Hillary: Who the hell does your hair, Piggy?

Piggy: It's your hairstyle!

03 May 2012 09:42 AM
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Shostie    [TotalFark]  
Did she just tell Jason Segel that she wants to f*ck him...

and a Muppet?

03 May 2012 10:08 AM
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WTF Indeed     
Shostie: Did she just tell Jason Segel that she wants to f*ck him...

and a Muppet?


No, but the staffer that wrote it does.

03 May 2012 10:50 AM
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H31N0US     
I forgot that terrible movie about four minutes after I watched it.

03 May 2012 12:46 PM
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Snapper Carr     
Fresh out of Muppets.

Maybe you'd settle for a sloth?

i1127.photobucket.com

03 May 2012 12:49 PM
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carrion_luggage     
That's so cute! Meanwhile a blind Chinese dissident and his entire family are about to be tortured and killed because she can't bring herself to stand up to our biggest debtholder.

Perhaps if the Chinese thugs held the cattle prods in handpuppets' mouths she might get involved.

03 May 2012 12:53 PM
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Callous    [TotalFark]  
Shostie: Did she just tell Jason Segel that she wants to f*ck him...

and a Muppet?


That would be so hot?

03 May 2012 12:54 PM
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Bhruic     
How unusual, a fark headline that actually describes the article.

03 May 2012 12:54 PM
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MyNameIsMofuga     
Snapper Carr: Fresh out of Muppets.

Maybe you'd settle for a sloth?

[i1127.photobucket.com image 480x350]


Is that what a woman looks like while having sex with a sloth?

03 May 2012 12:54 PM
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dennysgod     
If this is true, and Hilary actually sent that letter, then I'm soooo voting for her in 2016.

03 May 2012 12:54 PM
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Felgraf     
carrion_luggage: That's so cute! Meanwhile a blind Chinese dissident and his entire family are about to be tortured and killed because she can't bring herself to stand up to our biggest debtholder.

Perhaps if the Chinese thugs held the cattle prods in handpuppets' mouths she might get involved.


Uh, the guy chose to leave the US embassy. On his own.

also there's already a thread about that.

03 May 2012 12:58 PM
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AverageAmericanGuy     
I saw the Muppets movie the other day on my flight back from LAX to Japan. The whole idea behind the movie is a non-starter. There isn't a pent up demand for the Muppets. There certainly is a nostalgia surrounding them, but that doesn't translate to ticket and merchandise sales. Once you leave the movie theater, the Muppets simply fade back into the background where they were before.

The Muppets are has-beens. There isn't any Muppet revival, and there won't be. Kids have other things they like to watch now.

03 May 2012 12:58 PM
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Scruggy     
Whomever it is in charge of Hillary's PR, they are kicking ass lately.

03 May 2012 01:01 PM
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bdub77    [TotalFark]  
dennysgod: If this is true, and Hilary actually sent that letter, then I'm soooo voting for her in 2016.

I hate to sound cynical, but she is very well-connected, I'm betting some of this recent Pro-Hillary fluff is the beginning of a 2016 campaign, starting with the texting meme (which I think was definitely not her idea but her response to it was good-humored). I'm not saying her and aides are behind this news necessarily but you can definitely see her emerging as a front runner, and then there's her decision to step down from Secretary of State.

Having said that, I'd vote for her in 2016. She's smart, she's tough, and she definitely put the time in and really knows how politics works. And has seriously one of the best political advisors ever in Bill.

03 May 2012 01:01 PM
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loonatic112358    [TotalFark]  
AverageAmericanGuy: I saw the Muppets movie the other day on my flight back from LAX to Japan. The whole idea behind the movie is a non-starter. There isn't a pent up demand for the Muppets. There certainly is a nostalgia surrounding them, but that doesn't translate to ticket and merchandise sales. Once you leave the movie theater, the Muppets simply fade back into the background where they were before.

The Muppets are has-beens. There isn't any Muppet revival, and there won't be. Kids have other things they like to watch now.


The big plothole is, why didn't gonzo just pony up the cash?

03 May 2012 01:06 PM
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Evil Kirk vs Bad Ash     
bdub77: dennysgod: If this is true, and Hilary actually sent that letter, then I'm soooo voting for her in 2016.

I hate to sound cynical, but she is very well-connected, I'm betting some of this recent Pro-Hillary fluff is the beginning of a 2016 campaign, starting with the texting meme (which I think was definitely not her idea but her response to it was good-humored). I'm not saying her and aides are behind this news necessarily but you can definitely see her emerging as a front runner, and then there's her decision to step down from Secretary of State.

Having said that, I'd vote for her in 2016. She's smart, she's tough, and she definitely put the time in and really knows how politics works. And has seriously one of the best political advisors ever in Bill.


Two terms of Hilary after two from Obama would mean 16 years removed from old white guys running the Presidency... nice.

03 May 2012 01:07 PM
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BullBearMS     
Felgraf: carrion_luggage: That's so cute! Meanwhile a blind Chinese dissident and his entire family are about to be tortured and killed because she can't bring herself to stand up to our biggest debtholder.

Perhaps if the Chinese thugs held the cattle prods in handpuppets' mouths she might get involved.

Uh, the guy chose to leave the US embassy. On his own.


Ummmm... Sure...

Dissidents often escape detention at the hands of authoritarian regimes and run straight to the American embassy because they do not want sanctuary.

Let's see if the claim that he wanted to be turned over is utter bullshiat or not:

I've known Chen Guangcheng for more than a decade-he's been through intimidation, beatings, jail, and extralegal house arrest-but through it all I never sensed he was scared. Now he's scared. Chen, whose case has escalated into a bilateral crisis that threatens to dominate Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's visit to Beijing this week, was weeping as he talked to me over the phone from his hospital bed.

Chen says he now wants to leave China as soon as possible: "My fervent hope is that it would be possible for me and my family to leave for the U.S. on Hillary Clinton's plane."

When U.S. officials escorted him out of the U.S. embassy shortly after 3 p.m. Wednesday, Chen thought he'd extracted a promise that at least one of them would stay with him at the hospital, he said. "Many Americans were with me while I checked into the hospital and doctors examined me. Lots of them," he told me from his hospital bed, where he's being treated for broken bones in one foot, an injury sustained when he fell after climbing a wall during his daring escape from house arrest late last month. "But when I was brought to the hospital room, they all left. I don't know where they went." The ordeal was all the more bewildering because Chen is blind and was hurt during his escape; he needs crutches or a wheelchair to move around.


Our people promised not to abandon him. Then they abandoned him.

03 May 2012 01:11 PM
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Apos     
At this very moment,a serious regurgitation of Muppet felt is in progress...

03 May 2012 01:11 PM
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Lipspinach     
AverageAmericanGuy: I saw the Muppets movie the other day on my flight back from LAX to Japan. The whole idea behind the movie is a non-starter. There isn't a pent up demand for the Muppets. There certainly is a nostalgia surrounding them, but that doesn't translate to ticket and merchandise sales. Once you leave the movie theater, the Muppets simply fade back into the background where they were before.

The Muppets are has-beens. There isn't any Muppet revival, and there won't be. Kids have other things they like to watch now.


Not only that, but Jason Sagal seems to be becoming dangerously close to overexposure.
I am glad about this as I find his earnestness irritating. Also lost interest in the Muppets 3~4 decades ago. win/win for me.

03 May 2012 01:11 PM
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Moopy Mac     
carrion_luggage: That's so cute! Meanwhile a blind Chinese dissident and his entire family are about to be tortured and killed because she can't bring herself to stand up to our biggest debtholder.

Perhaps if the Chinese thugs held the cattle prods in handpuppets' mouths she might get involved.


The Federal Reserve is torturing Chinese dissidents now? That seems like an unconstitutional expansion of power.

03 May 2012 01:12 PM
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dennysgod     
Evil Kirk vs Bad Ash: bdub77: dennysgod: If this is true, and Hilary actually sent that letter, then I'm soooo voting for her in 2016.

I hate to sound cynical, but she is very well-connected, I'm betting some of this recent Pro-Hillary fluff is the beginning of a 2016 campaign, starting with the texting meme (which I think was definitely not her idea but her response to it was good-humored). I'm not saying her and aides are behind this news necessarily but you can definitely see her emerging as a front runner, and then there's her decision to step down from Secretary of State.

Having said that, I'd vote for her in 2016. She's smart, she's tough, and she definitely put the time in and really knows how politics works. And has seriously one of the best political advisors ever in Bill.

Two terms of Hilary after two from Obama would mean 16 years removed from old white guys running the Presidency... nice.


Call it a palate cleanser.

03 May 2012 01:14 PM
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Snapper Carr     
No. However after picturing a horny sloth molesting a crying Kristen Bell...

i1127.photobucket.com


Clicky for background on the photo in my OP.

/It's simultaneously adorable and unnerving. I can't imagine what dealing with someone who's that emotionally volatile on a daily basis would be like (on the other hand, sticking your dick in the crazy is usually a pretty fun ride until things get stabby)

03 May 2012 01:14 PM
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bdub77    [TotalFark]  
Evil Kirk vs Bad Ash: Two terms of Hilary after two from Obama would mean 16 years removed from old white guys running the Presidency... nice.

And Elizabeth Warren after that? Although she'd be in her mid 70s by then.

03 May 2012 01:16 PM
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highbrow45     
BullBearMS: Our people promised not to abandon him. Then they abandoned him.

Are you sure they abandoned him? Maybe they're just not saying anything.

03 May 2012 01:21 PM
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carrion_luggage     
Why did Hillary Clinton abandon the desperate blind Chinese dissident and his family, who will surely be tortured to death?

www.thegatewaypundit.com

FOR THE LULZ

03 May 2012 01:25 PM
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Virtue     
Hillary + Muppets + Rule 34 = Do I really want to know?

03 May 2012 01:27 PM
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xanadian    [TotalFark]  
MyNameIsMofuga: Snapper Carr: Fresh out of Muppets.

Maybe you'd settle for a sloth?

[i1127.photobucket.com image 480x350]

Is that what a woman looks like while having sex with a sloth?


Well, she did say, "HURRY UP, I'M CHAFING NOW"

03 May 2012 01:29 PM
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BullBearMS     
highbrow45: BullBearMS: Our people promised not to abandon him. Then they abandoned him.

Are you sure they abandoned him? Maybe they're just not saying anything.


He says they abandoned him.

In an exclusive interview with The Daily Beast's Melinda Liu, blind dissident Chen Guangcheng says he's been abandoned by American officials at a Chinese hospital and begs to leave the country on Hillary Clinton's plane.

03 May 2012 01:30 PM
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mrtoadswildride     
AverageAmericanGuy: I saw the Muppets movie the other day on my flight back from LAX to Japan. The whole idea behind the movie is a non-starter. There isn't a pent up demand for the Muppets. There certainly is a nostalgia surrounding them, but that doesn't translate to ticket and merchandise sales. Once you leave the movie theater, the Muppets simply fade back into the background where they were before.

The Muppets are has-beens. There isn't any Muppet revival, and there won't be. Kids have other things they like to watch now.


Which is why the film also stars Jason Segel and Amy Adams...two young, famous, well liked actors.

You have the nostalgia for the older people, the muppets factor for young kids (which means parents have a movie they can take their young kinds and enjoy themselves)....and to a lesser extent you have Jason Segel and Amy Adams and a sort-of romantic comedy filling in the rest.

Considering it got good reviews and made like $150 million on it's $50 million budget....I'd call that a a success..

03 May 2012 01:30 PM
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xanadian    [TotalFark]  
BullBearMS: Our people promised not to abandon him. Then they abandoned him.

Politicians are professionals at pie-crust promises: easily made, easily broken.

Sorry about the alliteration, btw...

03 May 2012 01:31 PM
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Pants_Optional     
I was really hoping for more pictures of Kristen Bell (getting molested by a sloth or not).

03 May 2012 01:41 PM
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dnicoloff     
mrtoadswildride: AverageAmericanGuy: I saw the Muppets movie the other day on my flight back from LAX to Japan. The whole idea behind the movie is a non-starter. There isn't a pent up demand for the Muppets. There certainly is a nostalgia surrounding them, but that doesn't translate to ticket and merchandise sales. Once you leave the movie theater, the Muppets simply fade back into the background where they were before.

The Muppets are has-beens. There isn't any Muppet revival, and there won't be. Kids have other things they like to watch now.

Which is why the film also stars Jason Segel and Amy Adams...two young, famous, well liked actors.

You have the nostalgia for the older people, the muppets factor for young kids (which means parents have a movie they can take their young kinds and enjoy themselves)....and to a lesser extent you have Jason Segel and Amy Adams and a sort-of romantic comedy filling in the rest.

Considering it got good reviews and made like $150 million on it's $50 million budget....I'd call that a a success..


Exactly this! The Muppets are still relevant because they are entertaining. I have twin 5 year old girls who loved the movie. They still sing the songs from the movie and ask to watch it from time to time.

I always enjoy humorless types who have to crap on something just to feel superior. Glad there are some farkers who can see things for what they are.

03 May 2012 01:55 PM
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KrispyKritter    [TotalFark]  
How I Met Your Mother is some of the biggest suck on television and Mr. Hillary R Clinton is the White House equivalent.

How quickly people are willing to forget the depth of dirt the Clintons have mucked about in since their very early days. These are not nice people.

03 May 2012 02:06 PM
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Neeek     
Lipspinach: Not only that, but Jason Sagal seems to be becoming dangerously close to overexposure.
I am glad about this as I find his earnestness irritating.


You should listen to his commentary on the 3rd season DVD of HIMYM. You'd be cured of thinking of him being earnest forever.

03 May 2012 02:54 PM
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Crotchrocket Slim     
H31N0US: I forgot that terrible movie about four minutes after I watched it.

So I'm curious, did you sign up for Cynical Asshole or Douchebag Hipster classes to get so "edgy"?

03 May 2012 03:00 PM
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TheManofPA    [TotalFark]  
loonatic112358: AverageAmericanGuy: I saw the Muppets movie the other day on my flight back from LAX to Japan. The whole idea behind the movie is a non-starter. There isn't a pent up demand for the Muppets. There certainly is a nostalgia surrounding them, but that doesn't translate to ticket and merchandise sales. Once you leave the movie theater, the Muppets simply fade back into the background where they were before.

The Muppets are has-beens. There isn't any Muppet revival, and there won't be. Kids have other things they like to watch now.

The big plothole is, why didn't gonzo just pony up the cash?


Do you trust the business acumen of a guy who has a self-destruction button for his business run by chicken advisers?

03 May 2012 03:01 PM
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Elegant_maniac     
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
You are all... weirdos.

03 May 2012 04:31 PM
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Pumpernickel bread     
Our politics don't perfectly align, but I have really become a fan of Hillary's. Very smart, capable and in touch. Too bad she isn't running for President.

03 May 2012 04:55 PM
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KatjaMouse    [TotalFark]  
Pumpernickel bread: Our politics don't perfectly align, but I have really become a fan of Hillary's. Very smart, capable and in touch. Too bad she isn't running for President.

I am the first to admit that had she run her campaign differently and not invented the "birther" thing, I would have voted for her.

03 May 2012 05:00 PM
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illusionofjoy     
KatjaMouse: Pumpernickel bread: Our politics don't perfectly align, but I have really become a fan of Hillary's. Very smart, capable and in touch. Too bad she isn't running for President.

I am the first to admit that had she run her campaign differently and not invented the "birther" thing, I would have voted for her.


She didn't invent birtherism. That inbred cousin to the teabagger movement came from writers on a right-wing 'blog purporting to support Hillary, in the end exposing themselves as a rat-farking operation.

03 May 2012 09:53 PM
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