Yes, nothing could be more horrifying or more alien to human experience than cutting up beef.

Blowing them up would have been much more entertaining

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Blowing them up would have been much more entertaining

Yeah, I was hoping to see cows asplode.

Another example of wasteful government spending. They need to privatize the frozen-cattle-dismemberment-and-dispos al industry.

Hacksaws and hand knives? At least bring chainsaws.

jaylectricity: Hacksaws and hand knives? At least bring chainsaws.

That's what I was thinking. They are the forest service for God's sake.

Forest.

Trees.

Chain saws.

They probably had to go out and buy f*cking hacksaws.

I don't see why this would be creepy at all. Unless the cows were flash-frozen in standing positions, arranged in a circle around the beds where they'll be sleeping. And unless screaming noises came from the frozen cows when the forest service guys started laboriously hacksawing. Then we might have a story.

jaylectricity: Hacksaws and hand knives? At least bring chainsaws.

Lots of natural areas have bans on motorized equipment. no cars, saws, snowmobiles, generators, etc. Probably one of those areas.

Wait a minute..."Creepily frozen"? What is naturally frozen? Vacuum sealed in nice round patties? WTH?

Came for cowsicle pictures. Leaving disappointed.

Available soon at your neighborhood grocer.

The Saw sequels are really going downhill.

Damn it I wanted to see a nice PETN BBQ WTF? now they gotta cut them to chunks, that is way more work than is needed to solve this problem. What's the manual say 40lbs per cow? Boom. problem solved.

Below FTA, and much more relevant to my interests - "My 19-Year-Old Niece Made a Porno. Should I Tell the Family? (Slate)"

Do the whale video! Do the whale video!

Well, crap...I meant TFA, not FTA.

/lunchtime, finally - need food...

Chariset: Came for cowsicle pictures. Leaving disappointed.




/Oh, I thought you said cowcycle. My bad

Well, that's a conundrum.

jaylectricity: Hacksaws and hand knives? At least bring chainsaws.

That's what I was thinking. They are the forest service for God's sake.

Forest.

Trees.

Chain saws.

They probably had to go out and buy f*cking hacksaws.

Chainsaws are not allowed -- it's Wilderness with a capital W. No mechanical conveyances or power tools allowed by law.

That area is being loved to death...I just hope the residual animal kingdom interest in the area once the human hiking season really kicks off doesn't lead to...unpleasantness...for either humans or animals.

if they don't have one hell of a bbq after this, then they have failed

Lord Thorn: Below FTA, and much more relevant to my interests - "My 19-Year-Old Niece Made a Porno. Should I Tell the Family? (Slate)"

There's a thread coming up for that soon.

"God, protect this rocket house and all who dwell within this rocket house"

"It blowed up real good"

Repeat?

fun fact: you can use a clean chainsaw with vegetable oil where you put the bar oil to cut up a deer or moose that is too big to drag.

Stabone33: jaylectricity: Hacksaws and hand knives? At least bring chainsaws.

That's what I was thinking. They are the forest service for God's sake.

Forest.

Trees.

Chain saws.

They probably had to go out and buy f*cking hacksaws.

Chainsaws are not allowed -- it's Wilderness with a capital W. No mechanical conveyances or power tools allowed by law.

That area is being loved to death...I just hope the residual animal kingdom interest in the area once the human hiking season really kicks off doesn't lead to...unpleasantness...for either humans or animals.

Hehe. You ain't from these parts, is ya?

Blow it up? Has everyone forgot how blowing up a dead whale went?

Article with more detail...
mooooo!

Forest Service May Blow Up Frozen Cows

think the original plan to asplode them would have made a better story

what a pre-frozen and aslploded bovine may look like

Hehe. You ain't from these parts, is ya?

Yes, I am. And I'm pretty sure I know exactly what will happen, even if I hope it doesn't.

My dad has had to chainsaw frozen horses and donkeys a few times. The joys of living out in the country.

jaylectricity: Lord Thorn: Below FTA, and much more relevant to my interests - "My 19-Year-Old Niece Made a Porno. Should I Tell the Family? (Slate)"

There's a thread coming up for that soon.

Color me comPLETEly un-surprised - that headline should be in the FARK Primer. I'm at work or I'd have submitted it m'self.

Headso: ct: you can use a clean chainsaw with vegetable oil where you put the bar oil to cut up a deer or moose that is too big to drag.

Or olive oil with a little garlic, butcher and marinade all in one.

loonatic112358: if they don't have one hell of a bbq after this, then they have failed

The cows were found dead in the cabin this last March and there's no telling how long they had been dead before they were found. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be willing to eat any of them.

I've got a battery-operated Ryobi chainsaw that I use for tree trimming. It's a little small and underpowered, but it might work. Because it doesn't use gas, it also may not fall under any ban on power equipment.

Also, for a job like this, you might consider bringing about 10-15 fully charged batteries.

Bathia_Mapes: loonatic112358: if they don't have one hell of a bbq after this, then they have failed

The cows were found dead in the cabin this last March and there's no telling how long they had been dead before they were found. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be willing to eat any of them.

good point

Forest Service officials explored burning or blowing up the cabin with explosives but decided to cut up the carcasses instead

They must have learned from the whale

loonatic112358: Bathia_Mapes: loonatic112358: if they don't have one hell of a bbq after this, then they have failed

The cows were found dead in the cabin this last March and there's no telling how long they had been dead before they were found. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be willing to eat any of them.

good point

So, you're saying medium-rare, just in case?

Slice them lean, with a good marbling and serve them next to a baked potato and sweet tea and I call that dinner.

I still think they should put skis on them and let the swoosh down the mountain.

Two words....

Mongolian Barbeque

Add a couple of JATO bottles and see if they can go uphill.

There was a great story a few years ago from Austria where tourists hiking in the mountains started complaining about exploding cows raining down on them. Turns out in the Alps this is an ongoing problem- terrain too rugged to easily get the heavy equipment up the mountain to bury cows that die on the upper pastures in the summer time. The army used to helicopter them down the mountain as a practice exercise, but then decided that was too expensive. Left with no alternative, the farmers started blowing them up. After a few ugly incidents with tourists taking unexpected dead-cow-guts showers, the government changed its mind.

Bathia_Mapes: loonatic112358: if they don't have one hell of a bbq after this, then they have failed

The cows were found dead in the cabin this last March and there's no telling how long they had been dead before they were found. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be willing to eat any of them.

Especially since all of that meat was never bled after they died, meaning their insides are probably more like beef flavored jelly with a hint of green fungus.

Yaxe: Bathia_Mapes: loonatic112358: if they don't have one hell of a bbq after this, then they have failed

The cows were found dead in the cabin this last March and there's no telling how long they had been dead before they were found. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be willing to eat any of them.

Especially since all of that meat was never bled after they died, meaning their insides are probably more like beef flavored jelly with a hint of green fungus.

BLECH!

Headso: fun fact: you can use a clean chainsaw with vegetable oil where you put the bar oil to cut up a deer or moose that is too big to drag.

Would that apply to hookers, too? I need to know how much fun to try to have this weekend ...

Reading the headline made me think of that scene in Animal House when they guy had to get the dead horse out of Dean Wormer's office

Huck And Molly Ziegler: Headso: fun fact: you can use a clean chainsaw with vegetable oil where you put the bar oil to cut up a deer or moose that is too big to drag.

Would that apply to hookers, too? I need to know how much fun to try to have this weekend ...

unless you are planning to eat the hooker just use regular bar oil instead, it's cheaper.

I love America. Any time something unexpected occurs, whether it be a beached whale, a shed of frozen cattle, or a clogged toilet, the use of explosives is always considered and never fully off the table.

/Know from docgrog's story that it works for other countries too.
//Still a fun stereotype.

Onkel Buck: Reading the headline made me think of that scene in Animal House when they guy had to get the dead horse out of Dean Wormer's office

Headso: fun fact: you can use a clean chainsaw with vegetable oil where you put the bar oil to cut up a deer or moose that is too big to drag.

holy crap. that is really smart. i'm filing that under 'things to remember'.

RatMaster999: Onkel Buck: Reading the headline made me think of that scene in Animal House when they guy had to get the dead horse out of Dean Wormer's office

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Close. I was looking for a pic of the guy measureing the horse and then measuring the door