Dead for Tax Reasons: Finding george wendt?

Pool ball, not grasshopper

Vegan my ass!

Matthew Keene: Found a fat and sassy bumble bee in canned spinach once. Moved it out of the way and continued eating the spinach. Sheesh! Get over it!

He escaped from the tuna line

editorial_distractions: My mom once found a grasshopper in a bag of frozen spinach. She mailed it to the company and they mailed her a coupon.

Their solution to just about any complaint. I guess it is the best they can do for most of them though.

I just read a yahoo article yesterday (too lazy to find the link, and you're prob glad) about how we really all eat about 1lb of insects a year bc of the bits and pieces that are allowed into various foods. I may not eat canned mushrooms for a while.

/csb

The type of insect matters - at least psychologically. I used to have an infestation of sugar ants in an old apartment. They're very tiny and get into anything not hermetically sealed. I had no problem with them. I'd pour a bowl of cereal and see them swimming around in the milk. Yum, yum, yum. Extra protein.

I would probably pick a grasshopper out of my food though, but if I found a half of one and hadn't noticed any bad tastes I probably wouldn't be too grossed out.

a roach however would probably freak me out.

A crunchy bit in frozen corn? A whole wasp. Yes, I had chewed it some.

A rock hard peanut M&M? A peanut shaped ROCK covered in chocolate. Almost chipped a tooth. Got 5 lbs of free M&Ms.

Red colored food? Beetle shells of course!

TNel: I probably worked for the company that made that can and let me tell you the volume of beans that are done even in an hour is so much that it's suprising you get as few complaints that you do. She had to attention whore it and go on the newspaper route instead of calling the company and they send her coupons for 5 free cans.

Here's a list of stuff I've pulled off the belt that does green beans:

TONS of grasshoppers
a few snakes
a lot of mice
part of a deer

The absolute best was in the destoner for the potato line we pulled a dildo out of it. This was the first thing they go threw so it wasn't a health concern since the potatoes are then blanced 2 times then cooked so it was a fun novelty thing for the week to talk about.

I was reading the complaint log one day and there was a complaint that someone opened a can of beans and a fly few out of it, I mean really who's dumb enough to think a fly can live in a vaccum sealed can that was heated to 200+ degrees for 35 min. Then sit on a shelf for a few months.

At my green bean plant, we always got frogs, snakes, and lots of mice. One time a dead skunk came through, and we had to clean the whole factory. And another time, there was a live dog in the load of beans! One of the employees took him home. This lady is an AW, though. All you have to do is keep the code on the top of the can, and call the company.

By the way, the name-brand stuff and the generic stuff are the exact same beans from the same field processed on the same equipment. The more expensive stuff is just a smaller size of bean that is supposed to be more flavorful. If you put enough salt and butter on them, it doesn't matter.

Magorn: I always keep a glass of water by my bed because I'm a generally thirsty guy. Last night, as I went to bed, I din't bother to turn the lights on, and just dropped into bed, and reached for my glass to take a drink. Thank god the TV's screen saver was still on and emitting a faint glow, and that the cup was somewhat translucent, because it was enough to let me notice something dark and round floating in the cup before I drank. My first, extremely disgusted, thought was that for some inexplicable reason, my cat, who was right next to me had taken a shiat in my water glass sometime during the day. So I got out of bed and dumped the contents of the glass in the toilet.

That's when I saw what it really was: Somehow, a fairly large, very much alive mouse had managed to find its way into my water glass and apparently had become trapped there. A few minute of vigourous flushing later, I'm pretty sure the mouse became an ex-mouse, but the heebie-jeebies on may part haven't really gone away yet.

So you were gonna drink a mickey before bed, what's new?

Russ1642: Magorn: I always keep a glass of water by my bed because I'm a generally thirsty guy. Last night, as I went to bed, I din't bother to turn the lights on, and just dropped into bed, and reached for my glass to take a drink. Thank god the TV's screen saver was still on and emitting a faint glow, and that the cup was somewhat translucent, because it was enough to let me notice something dark and round floating in the cup before I drank. My first, extremely disgusted, thought was that for some inexplicable reason, my cat, who was right next to me had taken a shiat in my water glass sometime during the day. So I got out of bed and dumped the contents of the glass in the toilet.

That's when I saw what it really was: Somehow, a fairly large, very much alive mouse had managed to find its way into my water glass and apparently had become trapped there. A few minute of vigourous flushing later, I'm pretty sure the mouse became an ex-mouse, but the heebie-jeebies on may part haven't really gone away yet.

So you were gonna drink a mickey before bed, what's new?

that was truly painful. Brilliant, inspired even, but HORRIBLE

Magorn Wrote:

"I always keep a glass of water by my bed because I'm a generally thirsty guy. Last night, as I went to bed, I din't bother to turn the lights on, and just dropped into bed, and reached for my glass to take a drink. Thank god the TV's screen saver was still on and emitting a faint glow, and that the cup was somewhat translucent, because it was enough to let me notice something dark and round floating in the cup before I drank. My first, extremely disgusted, thought was that for some inexplicable reason, my cat, who was right next to me had taken a shiat in my water glass sometime during the day. So I got out of bed and dumped the contents of the glass in the toilet."

---

If you have a cat and a glass of water on your night stand, you likely have cat spit in your glass within minutes of putting it there.,..

Ever seen a finger condom? It actually looks like a tiny condom. Lots of restaurants keep them around so if someone cuts their finger, they just pop one on.

I bit into one of those in a salad once. Very chewy.

MythDragon: Eh, people eat grasshoppers all the time. I would not like to see one in my beans (or on my beans!), but it's a natural, edible thing. Better than finding rat feces, or a human nose.

Human nose on your beans? That's a baggin...

FDA List of allowable contaminants


From the list:
Drupelet, Canned and Frozen (blackberries, raspberries, etc.)
Average mold count is 60% or more
Insects and larvae Average of 4 or more larvae per 500 grams ...
DEFECT SOURCE: Insects and larvae - preharvest insect infestation. Mold - post harvest infection
SIGNIFICANCE: Aesthetic

Seriously, 60% mold is aesthetic issue? Wouldn't the berries taste like rotten athlete socks?

RabidRythmDivas: Ever seen a finger condom? It actually looks like a tiny condom. Lots of restaurants keep them around so if someone cuts their finger, they just pop one on.

I bit into one of those in a salad once. Very chewy.

They make band-aids specifically for the food industry. They have metal in them so they can be easily detected with a metal detector.

Micor: Magorn Wrote:

"I always keep a glass of water by my bed because I'm a generally thirsty guy. Last night, as I went to bed, I din't bother to turn the lights on, and just dropped into bed, and reached for my glass to take a drink. Thank god the TV's screen saver was still on and emitting a faint glow, and that the cup was somewhat translucent, because it was enough to let me notice something dark and round floating in the cup before I drank. My first, extremely disgusted, thought was that for some inexplicable reason, my cat, who was right next to me had taken a shiat in my water glass sometime during the day. So I got out of bed and dumped the contents of the glass in the toilet."

---

If you have a cat and a glass of water on your night stand, you likely have cat spit in your glass within minutes of putting it there.,..

She has her own glass, she doesn't mess with mine. WHy? I have no idea but she will only drink from one specific cup and her water bowl, so i fill hers when I fill mine.

Magorn Wrote:

"She has her own glass, she doesn't mess with mine. WHy? I have no idea but she will only drink from one specific cup and her water bowl, so i fill hers when I fill mine."

---

You are far luckier than I. My cat quickly sticks his poisonous cat tongue in my water glass even though he has his own on the floor next to the bed.

I couldn't think of anything worse, but then I realized the headline didn't say beer. Beans you can just throw out.

outtatowner: FDA List of allowable contaminants


From the list:
Drupelet, Canned and Frozen (blackberries, raspberries, etc.)
Average mold count is 60% or more
Insects and larvae Average of 4 or more larvae per 500 grams ...
DEFECT SOURCE: Insects and larvae - preharvest insect infestation. Mold - post harvest infection
SIGNIFICANCE: Aesthetic

Seriously, 60% mold is aesthetic issue? Wouldn't the berries taste like rotten athlete socks?
Yes, and that would be an Aesthetic concern.
Aesthetic: Concerning or characterized by an appreciation of beauty or good taste

Found this in a packet of Tesco Value Sweetcorn:



Yummy!

Magorn: I always keep a glass of water by my bed because I'm a generally thirsty guy. Last night, as I went to bed, I din't bother to turn the lights on, and just dropped into bed, and reached for my glass to take a drink. Thank god the TV's screen saver was still on and emitting a faint glow, and that the cup was somewhat translucent, because it was enough to let me notice something dark and round floating in the cup before I drank. My first, extremely disgusted, thought was that for some inexplicable reason, my cat, who was right next to me had taken a shiat in my water glass sometime during the day. So I got out of bed and dumped the contents of the glass in the toilet.

That's when I saw what it really was: Somehow, a fairly large, very much alive mouse had managed to find its way into my water glass and apparently had become trapped there. A few minute of vigourous flushing later, I'm pretty sure the mouse became an ex-mouse, but the heebie-jeebies on may part haven't really gone away yet.

Reminds me of the time I had a mouse problem. I seemed to have taken care of it efficiently with those poison cubes. Anyway, I was hammered & hungry late one night & threw a frozen pizza into the oven. Went back into the kitchen after the allotted time had passed. My kitchen was unusually smokey & smelled like
burnt hair. Yup, you guessed it, a mouse had chosen my oven to crawl into and die and I had baked it along with the pizza. My drunken hunger outweighed the slight nausea the situation gave me & I ate the mouse-smoked pizza. Yum yum!

The sound of one hand clapping: TNel: I probably worked for the company that made that can and let me tell you the volume of beans that are done even in an hour is so much that it's suprising you get as few complaints that you do. She had to attention whore it and go on the newspaper route instead of calling the company and they send her coupons for 5 free cans.

Here's a list of stuff I've pulled off the belt that does green beans:

TONS of grasshoppers
a few snakes
a lot of mice
part of a deer

The absolute best was in the destoner for the potato line we pulled a dildo out of it. This was the first thing they go threw so it wasn't a health concern since the potatoes are then blanced 2 times then cooked so it was a fun novelty thing for the week to talk about.

I was reading the complaint log one day and there was a complaint that someone opened a can of beans and a fly few out of it, I mean really who's dumb enough to think a fly can live in a vaccum sealed can that was heated to 200+ degrees for 35 min. Then sit on a shelf for a few months.

I'm now trying to think of the strange chain of events that led to the dildo getting mixed in with the potatoes in the first place. Unless some disgruntled employee or prankster threw it in, that means it had to have got swept up with the potatoes out in the field.

So my question is, who was out in a field with a dildo and what were they doing with it?

The farmer's daughter wanted some time alone.

Growing up in the country that sort of thing never bothered us. When I was 12 I was eating some canned peas and found a grasshopper head, I showed it to my family, we laughed, I removed the head and kept eating. Even at the age of 12 I knew...

One: Canned food is heated to boiling to completely sterilize it.
Two: The peas were cooked again on my Mom's stove.
Three: Many cultures eat insects without harm.

I'd suggest her family sit down to a nice dinner of Rocky Mountain oysters, pig knuckles and French Escargot (snails).

Here is a link to nice grasshopper recipes, yummy!

http://www.faculty.de.gcsu.edu/~cbade r/ghprecwithinsects.html

lennymcv: Many cultures eat insects without harm.

Read this as "Many cultures eat insects without ham."
I wouldn't even eat 'em with ham. And I'm crazy about ham.

Cagey B: The processing plant uses a red laser to scan beans for foreign objects, but sometimes they slip through, she was told.

My admiration goes to the staffer who was able to tell this woman about the high-tech bean laser while keeping his composure.

Red Beam Laser, not just any color...