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   Mitt Romney's accomplishments. The RNC needs to grow a pair and send this out as a mailing to all 300 million Americans

04 May 2012 02:26 PM   |   6222 clicks   |   Daily Kos
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Dusk-You-n-Me    [TotalFark]  

04 May 2012 12:23 PM
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ManateeGag    [TotalFark]  
kudos, subby! +1 for the headline.

04 May 2012 12:47 PM
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Elandriel    [TotalFark]  
I love how none of the mountains of evidence will likely be used in the Obama campaign and it will probably just be a straightforward traditional "nuh uh". Like Kerry and their failure to combat the Swift Boat thing? I see that happening again on a number of situations.

04 May 2012 12:51 PM
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Quasar    [TotalFark]  
Mitt Romney shaped Alan Freed in his image.

04 May 2012 01:02 PM
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Nadie_AZ    [TotalFark]  
Elandriel: I love how none of the mountains of evidence will likely be used in the Obama campaign and it will probably just be a straightforward traditional "nuh uh". Like Kerry and their failure to combat the Swift Boat thing? I see that happening again on a number of situations.

You can tell by the type of font used on the report.

04 May 2012 02:17 PM
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bdub77    [TotalFark]  
Posting stuff like this is dangerous. The smart people will know it as satire. The dumb ones will not.

Hint: There a lot of dumb ones.

04 May 2012 02:29 PM
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syrynxx    [TotalFark]  
In an election between Mitt Romney and Al Gore, which pathological liar would fabricate the greatest accomplishments?

04 May 2012 02:30 PM
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netweavr     
300 million?

04 May 2012 02:31 PM
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dudemanbro    [TotalFark]  
Dusk-You-n-Me: Mitt Romney is an accomplished liar./i>

Thanks for the links. I will forward them to the appropriate relatives.

04 May 2012 02:37 PM
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Close2TheEdge     
syrynxx: In an election between Mitt Romney and Al Gore, which pathological liar would fabricate the greatest accomplishments?

When has Gore lied about his accomplishments? And if you try to pass off the "I invented the Internet" urban legend, please punch yourself repeatedly in the balls so you don't reproduce.

04 May 2012 02:38 PM
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Lost Thought 00    [TotalFark]  
320million

04 May 2012 02:39 PM
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ArkPanda     
It's probably quicker to just use the standard list.

"Mitt Romney's tears cure cancer. However, Mitt Romney has never cried."

04 May 2012 02:39 PM
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rudemix     
He also coined the phrase 'coined the phrase'.

04 May 2012 02:39 PM
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bdub77    [TotalFark]  
Dusk-You-n-Me: Mitt Romney is an accomplished liar.

Typical BS Response: "These quotes are all taken out of context."

04 May 2012 02:39 PM
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bdub77    [TotalFark]  
rudemix: He also coined the phrase 'coined the phrase'.

He actually bought the company that coined the phrase, fired all their employees, and then coined the phrase 'coined the phrase.'

It's a really great joke the way he tells it though.

04 May 2012 02:41 PM
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Karac    [TotalFark]  
u. saved three whales from certain death, by personally swimming them through shallows and nets, back to safety.

He planned to save the entire humpback species from extinction, but Obama stole his time machine.

04 May 2012 02:41 PM
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EyeballKid     
The hardest work Mitt Romney ever did was holding down his erection during the reading of his father's will.

04 May 2012 02:41 PM
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quatchi     
Mitt Romney's accomplishments?

Other than falling out of the right vagina?

Hmmm, that's a toughie.

Hafta get back to you.

/Mitt Romney is the classic example of the guy who was born on third base who spends their entire life acting like they hit a triple to get there.

04 May 2012 02:43 PM
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I_C_Weener    [TotalFark]  
The most interesting man in the world.

04 May 2012 02:47 PM
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A Dark Evil Omen    [TotalFark]  
So anyway, Mittens would put on a white tie and tails and walk his cobra through the park on a leash. He named the cobra Beverly, and he taught it how to fetch and dial a phone. But then one day it bit the maid. So with tears in his eyes, Mittens had to shoot the maid.

04 May 2012 02:47 PM
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Elandriel    [TotalFark]  
Nadie_AZ: Elandriel: I love how none of the mountains of evidence will likely be used in the Obama campaign and it will probably just be a straightforward traditional "nuh uh". Like Kerry and their failure to combat the Swift Boat thing? I see that happening again on a number of situations.

You can tell by the type of font used on the report.


Meant more in reference to Ole' Dusky and not TFA, which was kinda funny if you ask me.

04 May 2012 02:47 PM
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I alone am best     
There is is once again, Obama did it all in his magical time machine that allowed him to sign legislation before he was president@!!!!

04 May 2012 02:48 PM
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netweavr     
I_C_Weener: The most interesting man in the world.

i.iflip.im

04 May 2012 02:54 PM
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Befuddled     
Apparently Romney was the role model and mentor for Kim Jong Il.

04 May 2012 02:55 PM
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Pants full of macaroni!!     
Close2TheEdge: syrynxx: In an election between Mitt Romney and Al Gore, which pathological liar would fabricate the greatest accomplishments?

When has Gore lied about his accomplishments? And if you try to pass off the "I invented the Internet" urban legend, please punch yourself repeatedly in the balls so you don't reproduce.


He claimed Love Story was written about him.

04 May 2012 02:57 PM
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rudemix     
bdub77: rudemix: He also coined the phrase 'coined the phrase'.

He actually bought the company that coined the phrase, fired all their employees, and then coined the phrase 'coined the phrase.'

It's a really great joke the way he tells it though.


Agreed. He totally seems like one of the guys* when he tells it

*One of the Guys is an exclusive club where membership is reserved to white males with a bank statement larger than 100 million

04 May 2012 02:59 PM
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A Dark Evil Omen    [TotalFark]  
Pants full of macaroni!!: Close2TheEdge: syrynxx: In an election between Mitt Romney and Al Gore, which pathological liar would fabricate the greatest accomplishments?

When has Gore lied about his accomplishments? And if you try to pass off the "I invented the Internet" urban legend, please punch yourself repeatedly in the balls so you don't reproduce.

He claimed Love Story was written about him.


Al Gore once claimed he had express written permission to rebroadcast Major League Baseball when he actually only had implied oral permission.

04 May 2012 02:59 PM
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Close2TheEdge     
A Dark Evil Omen: Pants full of macaroni!!: Close2TheEdge: syrynxx: In an election between Mitt Romney and Al Gore, which pathological liar would fabricate the greatest accomplishments?

When has Gore lied about his accomplishments? And if you try to pass off the "I invented the Internet" urban legend, please punch yourself repeatedly in the balls so you don't reproduce.

He claimed Love Story was written about him.

Al Gore once claimed he had express written permission to rebroadcast Major League Baseball when he actually only had implied oral permission.


Oh see, I thought that was ACORN. ACORN, Al Gore, I just constantly get that shiat mixed up.

04 May 2012 03:01 PM
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Nurglitch     
It's a good thing Americans never tried democracy on their health system:

Doctor 1: "I've never had any experience as a doctor, but hopefully I can change that once you elect me!"
Doctor 2: "My organ-havesting operation may have killed thousands, but it saved millions!"

04 May 2012 03:04 PM
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I alone am best     
A Dark Evil Omen: Pants full of macaroni!!: Close2TheEdge: syrynxx: In an election between Mitt Romney and Al Gore, which pathological liar would fabricate the greatest accomplishments?

When has Gore lied about his accomplishments? And if you try to pass off the "I invented the Internet" urban legend, please punch yourself repeatedly in the balls so you don't reproduce.

He claimed Love Story was written about him.

Al Gore once claimed he had express written permission to rebroadcast Major League Baseball when he actually only had implied oral permission.


He claimed that he was not in fact the one who cut the tag off the mattress when we know damn well it was him.

04 May 2012 03:04 PM
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Fabric_Man     
Mitt Romney regularly drinks the last cup of coffee and puts the empty pot back on the burner. Damn thing's going to crack one of these days!

04 May 2012 03:08 PM
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EyeballKid     
Fabric_Man: Mitt Romney regularly drinks the last cup of coffee and puts the empty pot back on the burner. Damn thing's going to crack one of these days!

'Fraid not, the cult/pyramid scheme he belongs to won't allow none of that.

On the other hand, Romney will take the last Swiss Miss packet out of the box, but not throw the box away!

04 May 2012 03:10 PM
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crozzo     
R-money is the quintessential self-made man. He was almost three years old before the team of lawyers constructed the most appropriate tax-free trust fund, as minimal as it was. Why, he didn't even have his own chaffeur until he started kindergarten, and that chaffeur had to drive ten miles, in the snow, uphill both ways.

Bias-ply tires, too, not even radials.

04 May 2012 03:11 PM
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jigoro     
He was the fourth Beastie Boy before choosing politics over music.

04 May 2012 03:11 PM
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MadMonk     
If you ask Mitt Romney why he's running for President he'll tell you "I'm not running for President"

04 May 2012 03:12 PM
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eiger     
Pants full of macaroni!!:
He claimed Love Story was written about him.


Even that's not as absurd a claim as it sounds if you actually bother to spend a couple of minutes looking into it. The author admitted that the main male character drew on the lives of Al Gore and Tommy Lee Jones (roommates at Harvard). Gore's (false) claim that the love story aspect was based on him and Tiperr could have easily arisen from a misunderstanding or an exaggeration. The claim gets repeated b/c (without context) it sounds so utterly preposterous to most voters.

04 May 2012 03:13 PM
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freetomato    [TotalFark]  
He invented post-it notes and the keyboard necktie.

04 May 2012 03:17 PM
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MetryPapi     
quatchi: Mitt Romney's accomplishments?

Other than falling out of the right vagina?

Hmmm, that's a toughie.

Hafta get back to you.

/Mitt Romney is the classic example of the guy who was born on third base who spends their entire life acting like they hit a triple to get there.


Oh God, we miss you Molly. I have to believe she's either laughing her ass off at these Republicans or doing a heavenly facepalm. Maybe both.

04 May 2012 03:17 PM
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jules_siegel     
eiger: Pants full of macaroni!!:
He claimed Love Story was written about him.

Even that's not as absurd a claim as it sounds if you actually bother to spend a couple of minutes looking into it. The author admitted that the main male character drew on the lives of Al Gore and Tommy Lee Jones (roommates at Harvard). Gore's (false) claim that the love story aspect was based on him and Tiperr could have easily arisen from a misunderstanding or an exaggeration. The claim gets repeated b/c (without context) it sounds so utterly preposterous to most voters.


Snopes:

MYTH: Gore claimed he and his wife, Tipper, were the prototypes for the Ryan O'Neal and Ali McGraw characters in the movie ''Love Story,'' which was based on Erich Segal's novel by the samename.
SOURCE: A Time magazine profile of Gore written by Karen Tumulty that was based, in part, on a two-hour conversation the vice president had with reporters on a late-night flight of Air Force Two.
REALITY: Segal modeled the Ryan O'Neal character on two people: Gore and one of his Harvard roommates, actor Tommy Lee Jones, who had a small part in the movie as O'Neal's roommate. The Ali McGraw character was not based on Tipper Gore. Gore based his comments to Tumulty and others on erroneous news accounts of ''Love Story'' in the Nashville Tennessean newspaper following the 1970 release of the hit movie. ''All I know'' is what Segal had told reporters in Tennessee, Gore said. Segal confirmed that the Tennessean ''exaggerated a bit'' in its coverage of the movie.

04 May 2012 03:27 PM
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farkityfarker     
quatchi: Mitt Romney's accomplishments?

Other than falling out of the right vagina?

Hmmm, that's a toughie.

Hafta get back to you.

/Mitt Romney is the classic example of the guy who was born on third base who spends their entire life acting like they hit a triple to get there.


But he didn't just sit on his ass doing nothing. He actively invested his money in job-killing ventures to make himself richer. It's not as if he's never achieved anything.

04 May 2012 03:31 PM
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Rann Xerox    [TotalFark]  
Mitt Romney invented and marketed Honey Nut Cheerios, specifically to keep Omar happy.

04 May 2012 03:31 PM
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FormlessOne     
Meh. Romney's a rich liar. We know that.

Who cares? If you're voting, you're either voting for or against Obama this election. The "against" vote almost doesn't matter. Romney is the biggest "against" vote - he's not someone for whom anyone would vote, because he's a rich liar.

04 May 2012 03:33 PM
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Hetfield     
A Dark Evil Omen: when he actually only had implied oral

At least Clinton got actual oral.

04 May 2012 03:46 PM
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NateAsbestos     
Nurglitch: It's a good thing Americans never tried democracy on their health system:

Doctor 1: "I've never had any experience as a doctor, but hopefully I can change that once you elect me!"
Doctor 2: "My organ-havesting operation may have killed thousands, but it saved millions!"


In all fairness, we've never tried democracy on our presidential elections either.

04 May 2012 03:58 PM
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Almet     
Did I ever tell you about the time Mitt Romney took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Mitt takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Mitt yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!

04 May 2012 04:07 PM
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friday13     
farkityfarker: quatchi: Mitt Romney's accomplishments?

Other than falling out of the right vagina?

Hmmm, that's a toughie.

Hafta get back to you.

/Mitt Romney is the classic example of the guy who was born on third base who spends their entire life acting like they hit a triple to get there.

But he didn't just sit on his ass doing nothing. He actively invested his money in job-killing ventures to make himself richer. It's not as if he's never achieved anything.


Oh, so rather than being born on third base, he was born on second and got to third by killing the shortstop and third-baseman, and horribly maimng the second-baseman.

Because that's sooooo much better.

04 May 2012 05:07 PM
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Delay     
Mitt Romney invested in a drug development company which invented a cure for Multiple Sclerosis, but Bain Capital creatively destroyed the company before the FDA could approve it.

04 May 2012 05:22 PM
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Empty Matchbook     
Lost Thought 00: 320million

Babies can't vote! DUH!!

04 May 2012 07:42 PM
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quatchi     
MetryPapi: quatchi: Mitt Romney's accomplishments?

Other than falling out of the right vagina?

Hmmm, that's a toughie.

Hafta get back to you.

/Mitt Romney is the classic example of the guy who was born on third base who spends their entire life acting like they hit a triple to get there.

Oh God, we miss you Molly. I have to believe she's either laughing her ass off at these Republicans or doing a heavenly facepalm. Maybe both.


I miss Molly Ivins too.

See also: Ann Richards.

*sigh*

05 May 2012 06:47 PM
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