All of you may scoff at her, but it's a serious problem. I remember a few years back this rich guy moved into the small town I lived in as a kid. Weird stuff started happening - people dying, disappearing, all that stuff. So I get back to town and notice that all this is going on. At any rate, one thing leads to another and I end up killing him (good riddance!) and burning the place down. Nobody will believe me and they put me away for murder, arson, all of it. All I can hope for is to spread awareness of this terrible menace in the few minutes the guards let me on the internet for.

Twinkie defense--She can now get away with murder.

office_despot: RexTalionis: Don't these kinds of experiences happen to everyone at one point or another? I remember one time when I was driving and the road started to bleed.

I dunno... I thought they happened to everyone. But if not, I've been crazy for a loooong time.

I once had a half hour long conversation with Homer Simpson in my truck. I had been awake for over 24 hours at the time, though.

go out and rent a movie. i recommend "the story of o". get away from all that scary stuff, and plunge into a fantasy that your husband will also enjoy.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: [img191.imageshack.us image 640x537]

My Stephen King moment-

Laid up in bed with a broken (as in, in HALF) femur and fractured wrist, the girlfriend decides to bring me a movie that I have never seen. I was cursing her halfway through. The movie? Why yes, it was Misery. Why do you ask?

RexTalionis: Don't these kinds of experiences happen to everyone at one point or another? I remember one time when I was driving and the road started to bleed.

The long and bleeding road.

I May Be Crazy But...: All of you may scoff at her, but it's a serious problem. I remember a few years back this rich guy moved into the small town I lived in as a kid. Weird stuff started happening - people dying, disappearing, all that stuff. So I get back to town and notice that all this is going on. At any rate, one thing leads to another and I end up killing him (good riddance!) and burning the place down. Nobody will believe me and they put me away for murder, arson, all of it. All I can hope for is to spread awareness of this terrible menace in the few minutes the guards let me on the internet for.

That's nothing. This girl I know named Carol Anne awoken one night and began conversing with her family's tv, which started transmitting static. The following night, while the rest of her family is sleeping, she became fixated on the television set as it transmits static again. Suddenly, an apparition emerged from the screen and vanished into the wall, causing a violent earthquake. Bizarre events began to occur the next day, such as glasses and utensils that spontaneously break or bend and furniture that moves of its own.

fusillade762: You mean they're poorly written, overly long and focus on mundane details that aren't remotely related to the plot?

Could you please link us to your novel on Amazon? Since you seem to know so much about writing, I'm interested in taking a look at your own work.

phygz: Laid up in bed with a broken (as in, in HALF) femur and fractured wrist, the girlfriend decides to bring me a movie that I have never seen. I was cursing her halfway through. The movie? Why yes, it was Misery. Why do you ask?

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

*That's* ill-advised.

That's about as cruel as making someone watch Awake (the movie, not the NBC show) right before surgery.

cats4rent: go out and rent a movie. i recommend "the story of o". get away from all that scary stuff, and plunge into a fantasy that your husband will also enjoy.

Her husband only watches shemale gonzo films. She turned him off to vagina long ago.

I refuse to read Stephen King anymore because he gave me nightmares that lasted for decades. For years after reading The Shining I would wake up in the middle of the night with the cold sweats and not know why because I couldn't remember the dream. Once I began journaling my dreams It turned out to be some non-specific evil entity chasing me around some house I had never been in.

It sounds funny now but it caused me to lose a lot of sleep. Even the dreams of falling and dying weren't as bad that shiat. I finally figured out the source of the fear when I saw that movie that came out in 1999 about some college kids who get lost in the woods of Virginia and get stalked by an invisible evil entity, can't remember the title now.

Kuoxasar: Nice to see Jean Teasdale got herself a promotion to the SunTimes.

YES. That is why I come to these threads. There are others who see what I see...I find satisfaction in that! Bravo, sir.

Gyrfalcon: Look, there's got to be SOMETHING else going on today that we can talk about besides this drivel.

Sure. Let's talk about the semiotics of this picture.



What exactly is going on here?

I sure know I'm voting for Jerry Holmes as Cleburne County Judge. He's a heck of a lot of American flags and a cowboy hat to boot.

Sounds like deja vù/temporal lobe disturbances.

FloydA: Gyrfalcon: Look, there's got to be SOMETHING else going on today that we can talk about besides this drivel.

Sure. Let's talk about the semiotics of this picture.

[i105.photobucket.com image 338x425]

What exactly is going on here?

Ronny found out where the penis goes on his 9th birthday.

REDRUM. REDRUM.

James F. Campbell: fusillade762: You mean they're poorly written, overly long and focus on mundane details that aren't remotely related to the plot?

Could you please link us to your novel on Amazon? Since you seem to know so much about writing, I'm interested in taking a look at your own work.

I've never made a movie or a videogame yet I criticize those things when they suck, too. What's your point? If the only people allowed to discuss art were the ones who made it these conversations would be pretty farking short.

Someone check her attic.
/Stop eating Zelda's dinner!!!

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: phygz: Laid up in bed with a broken (as in, in HALF) femur and fractured wrist, the girlfriend decides to bring me a movie that I have never seen. I was cursing her halfway through. The movie? Why yes, it was Misery. Why do you ask?

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

*That's* ill-advised.

That's about as cruel as making someone watch Awake (the movie, not the NBC show) right before surgery.

Which is almost as cruel as making anyone watch that movie at any time. At least the guy going into surgery will get enough anesthesia to forget that pain.

Baz the Spaz: Menopause is a biatch, isn't it lady?

Yes. Yes, it is.

:-(

Reminds me of.....

Link

fusillade762: Stephen King moments

You mean they're poorly written, overly long and focus on mundane details that aren't remotely related to the plot?

Excessively long, unedited, paid by the word, and derivatively "folksy" in a way many people confuse with charmingly nostalgic, yes.

It's contagious!! I just read all three pages of that story and I'm certain I'm insane for having clicked on it and expecting something exciting from it. :(

By nostrilnick

My brother was eaten by wolves on the Connecticut turnpike.

foxyshadis: Which is almost as cruel as making anyone watch that movie at any time. At least the guy going into surgery will get enough anesthesia to forget that pain.

Oooh... good point, actually.

Then again, if you're voluntarily going into a Hayden Christensen/Jessica Alba movie, you should pretty much know that you're not getting into anything good.

MAYORBOB: REDRUM. REDRUM.



RED RUM CAKE
FTFY

Didn't Stephen King write a story about a finger that came out of the bathroom sink? It kept getting bigger and bigger and the guy was afraid to use the bathroom.....and of course it beckoned him and grew so long that it tried to grab him, and he tried to poison it with Drano......

Well someone wrote that story, because I read it. OR MAYBE I JUST IMAGINED IT.

whatshisname: She should probably book a CT scan

Agreed.

Sudden onset of this or speech or movement issues all indicate a quick appointment is necessary. (As well as vomiting)

fusillade762: James F. Campbell: fusillade762: You mean they're poorly written, overly long and focus on mundane details that aren't remotely related to the plot?

Could you please link us to your novel on Amazon? Since you seem to know so much about writing, I'm interested in taking a look at your own work.

I've never made a movie or a videogame yet I criticize those things when they suck, too. What's your point? If the only people allowed to discuss art were the ones who made it these conversations would be pretty farking short.

I bet you like Jack Black movies.

cryinoutloud: Didn't Stephen King write a story about a finger that came out of the bathroom sink? It kept getting bigger and bigger and the guy was afraid to use the bathroom.....and of course it beckoned him and grew so long that it tried to grab him, and he tried to poison it with Drano......

Yes.

Well. That was barely readable. I don't think she'll be writing a horror best-seller any time soon ever.

For the TL;DR people, here are the stephen king moments:

1) Pulls the drain from a full sink and feels a pull on her hand. As if something was sucking something down into the drain

2) Sees the reflection of the sun in the fog, thinks it is big evil eyes

3) Coyote runs out in front of her, "OMG ITZ A WOLF!!!"

4) The dog moved the covers off her feet when she was sleeping


Why yes, this woman in insane.

Drain moment: Oh, that happens to everyone sometimes. Sleepiness and creepy thoughts can fark with your head.

Etc.: Holy Christ in a Sherman! ...She's probably seen Jesus driving a tank.

foxyshadis: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: phygz: Laid up in bed with a broken (as in, in HALF) femur and fractured wrist, the girlfriend decides to bring me a movie that I have never seen. I was cursing her halfway through. The movie? Why yes, it was Misery. Why do you ask?

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

*That's* ill-advised.

That's about as cruel as making someone watch Awake (the movie, not the NBC show) right before surgery.

Which is almost as cruel as making anyone watch that movie at any time. At least the guy going into surgery will get enough anesthesia to forget that pain.

Or when your parents make you watch Alive before getting on a small airplane. Thanks, Ma & Pa!

James F. Campbell: fusillade762: You mean they're poorly written, overly long and focus on mundane details that aren't remotely related to the plot?

Could you please link us to your novel on Amazon? Since you seem to know so much about writing, I'm interested in taking a look at your own work.

Could you link us to your qualifications in critiquing others opinions whilst requesting such obtuse obligations beyond those of your obvious achievements? I'm talking about those certifications beyond your being an embittered, arrogant, immature, inexperienced, and undereducated member of the social graces club. If not we'll all just be forced to conclude that you're looking to take out your hypocritical angst on people who happen to display their senses of humor...which of course stems from actually engaging with people outside the internet.

indeebud: Could you link us to your qualifications in critiquing others opinions whilst requesting such obtuse obligations beyond those of your obvious achievements?

Same as yours, except better.

Lets see. She is writing from Heber Springs, Arkansas pop (7,165 ) the county seat of Cleburne County and the only thing happening in Cleburne County in a part of Arkansas where there is not much.

Heber Springs is on the lake resulting from the 1963 completion of the Greers Ferry Dam. (JFK dedicated this dam as one of his last official acts).

Heber is a fairly inexpensive place and most of its economy is based on retirees who have moved there and summer tourism to the lake. Most working permanent residents are in service industries catering to the retirees and tourists though there are some jobs in the hydroelectric plant, a little manufacturing, and as I recall some company that hires people to collect "botanicals" from the woods and sells them as New Age something.

The high school kids of the permanent residents have very little to do other than hang out on the lake in summer, go to church, and hang out in the few fast food parking lots.

Cleburne is a "dry" county that is 98% white. Anybody that want to purchase alcohol has to drive the county line and this is thought by many to discourage teenage drinking and discourage poor non-whites from moving there.

I've visited Heber a few times, known people living there, and if I had to live there permanently it WOULD drive me crazy.

James F. Campbell: indeebud: Could you link us to your qualifications in critiquing others opinions whilst requesting such obtuse obligations beyond those of your obvious achievements?

Same as yours, except better.

Ahhh, we can add presumptuous to your list of qualifications then? Yes. Yes we can. :D

HairBolus: Anybody that want to purchase alcohol has to drive the county line and this is thought by many to discourage teenage drinking and discourage poor non-whites from moving there.



What?

indeebud: embittered

Well, yes. You'd be, too, if you were surrounded by people less intelligent than you.

indeebud: arrogant

Again, yes. You'd be, too, if you were surrounded by people less intelligent than you.

indeebud: immature

Is suffering fools a sign of maturity? Then, yes.

indeebud: inexperienced

So vague, I don't even know what it's referring to. Explain.

indeebud: undereducated

Prove it.

indeebud: social graces club

This is just a ridiculous thing to say. Explain what you meant.

KangTheMad: HairBolus: Anybody that want to purchase alcohol has to drive the county line and this is thought by many to discourage teenage drinking and discourage poor non-whites from moving there.



What?

Blah people needs their 40s, yo.

/I assume that to be the reasoning.

James F. Campbell: Is suffering fools a sign of maturity?

Just what did you think high school was meant to teach you? ;)

KangTheMad: HairBolus: Anybody that want to purchase alcohol has to drive the county line and this is thought by many to discourage teenage drinking and discourage poor non-whites from moving there.

What?

I heard this in a get together from at a sweet widowed grand mother type. First off many of Heber's residents are Baptists of the non drinking type. In order to keep Heber "as nice as it is" they would like to discourage heavy drinkers (such as THEM) from moving there especially since they won't be able to find a job. Lots of the geezers nodded at her wisdom even though several were frequent patrons of the county line stores. At least those present were responsible citizens unlike those that they don't want in their community.

actualhuman: Just what did you think high school was meant to teach you? ;)

That if you want to be successful in life, you should either be rich or pretty.

indeebud: James F. Campbell: indeebud: Could you link us to your qualifications in critiquing others opinions whilst requesting such obtuse obligations beyond those of your obvious achievements?

Same as yours, except better.

Ahhh, we can add presumptuous to your list of qualifications then? Yes. Yes we can. :D

Nope, I think he's got you with his cunning argument.

Listen up, people!

You are no longer permitted to express an opinion (positive or negative) on any X unless you have produced an X yourself. This goes for books, movies, TV shows, music, cars, presidential campaigns, etc. Lord Campbell hath decreed it.


James F. Campbell: I bet you like Jack Black movies.

I'm not allowed to say (see above).