One day a man was sitting on his sofa at home when he heard a knock at the door. He got up to see who it was but when he opened the door no one was there. Just as he was about to sit down he heard the knock again but when he got there again, there was no one at the door.

He scratched his head, looked around for a second and looked down to see a tiny snail on the porch.
He picked up the snail, threw it into a field across the street and headed back inside to watch television again.

Three Years Later

The same man is sitting on his sofa watching TV and hears a knock at the door. He gets up and goes to see who's there and there is no one.

He looks around for a second and just as he is about to close the door, he looks down and sees the snail who looks back up and says "Fark was that all about!!?".



source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Snail#ixzz1u 2D5xzt0

This is 'cause I kicked you, isn't it?

Who goes around carving stuff into turtles

I didn't read TFA, but from the headline, the only way I'm going to be happy at all is if the man's son was disembowled in a freak thresher accident.

/freaks are just about ripe right now...

...remembers he owes his son a caning for defacing wildlife.

Hopefully his son dies in a tire fire.

Roook: Who goes around carving stuff into turtles

Rednecks.

MrEricSir: Roook: Who goes around carving stuff into turtles

Douchebag Rednecks.

FTFY

at least he didn't hurt anything living, like a tree.

In 1965, Jeff Cokeley, then 13, carved "JC" and "1965" on the turtle's bottom shell and then released it back into the wild. He now lives in New York but laughed when his father sent him a picture of the turtle, Holland Cokeley said before returning to his dungeon to continue torturing runaways

Roook: Who goes around carving stuff into turtles

Sick twisted farks, that is who.

third time today for this

I wrote HOLA DEA on a turtle, but then it exploded.

So...he didn't take a picture of it? This is just something an 87 year old man claimed and it's a story?

Ed Finnerty: So...he didn't take a picture of it? This is just something an 87 year old man claimed and it's a story?

RTFA

Roook: Who goes around carving stuff into turtles


guys like this

I don't even think this happened. Don't you think the dad would have taken a picture of something like this, and if he did, the newspaper would certainly run it. The dad's been making this kind of shiat up for years. Like when he paid Pablo Picasso $50 to paint his kitchen, and that's why he can't stand blue to this day.

tasteless: Ed Finnerty: So...he didn't take a picture of it? This is just something an 87 year old man claimed and it's a story?

RTFA

Seriously, the article clearly states that the man is 85.

In 1965, Jeff Cokeley, then 13, carved "JC" and "1965" on the turtle's bottom shell and then released it back into the wild. He now lives in New York but laughed when his father sent him a picture of the turtle, Holland Cokeley said.

show it to me

Future headline: Man amazed to find turtle's initials carved into son who carved his own initials into turtle 50 years ago.

tasteless: Ed Finnerty: So...he didn't take a picture of it? This is just something an 87 year old man claimed and it's a story?

RTFA

I did. What have I missed?tasteless: Ed Finnerty: So...he didn't take a picture of it? This is just something an 87 year old man claimed and it's a story?

RTFA

I did. So where's the picture?

I had a pet box turtle for one day once. My mom got her for me. I was about nine. I took her to my best friend's house to show him and then we went out to play. When we came back his alcoholic biatch mother had let my turtle go. I was inconsolable. Now that I realize how long they can live, I guess she probably did both of us a favor.

/still a biatch, though
//wonder how that turtle's doing now
///I hope she's as happy as a turtle can be

jdhj2: In 1965, Jeff Cokeley, then 13, carved "JC" and "1965" on the turtle's bottom shell and then released it back into the wild. He now lives in New York but laughed when his father sent him a picture of the turtle, Holland Cokeley said.

show it to me

jdhj2: In 1965, Jeff Cokeley, then 13, carved "JC" and "1965" on the turtle's bottom shell and then released it back into the wild. He now lives in New York but laughed when his father sent him a picture of the turtle, Holland Cokeley said.

show it to me

/wanted for questioning

Must have seen this:





Haven't thought of this flick in years.

I like turtles.

I found one years ago in my yard with a cracked shell. To this day I'm afraid I cracked it with the riding mower.

Heh. When I was a kid I caught a turtle and named it Fargo. I had it in an ice chest outside with water and leaves and stuff, had talked to my mom about needing to find out what he ate.

"Fargo" turned out to be a pretty good name for him. When my friend and I went back to check on him, he was gone. Mom swears she didn't take him out of the chest and let him go, so he must have crawled out on his own. He went.

I laughed at this story, imagining the followup headline, "Man Who Carved Initials in Endangered Turtle Discovers No Statute of Limitations"

davidphogan: I like turtles.

/and brains

My sister got a turtle last year. My first thought was... I sure hope you like turtles because that motherfarker is going to live for DECADES. Decades of all that sweet, cuddly, reptile affection.

and all I got was some asshole kid's initials carved into my ass.

My friend whose family had a house tortoise that would run, like seriously haul ass by tortoise standards, when you called it's name because it knew that meant it was vegetables and scritchy time.

About the funniest critter visual I'd ever seen.

Ed Finnerty: So...he didn't take a picture of it? This is just something an 87 year old man claimed and it's a story?

Indeed...the article is worthless without a pic. I mean, why even post the article without a pic? It could be the demented ramblings of an alzheimer's patient. Such fail and facepalmery in this one.

I wonder how many Jeff Cokeleys there are in NY? Because I have this overwhelming urge to find one in particular and carve my first initial, last name and year on his stomach....

/He's lucky I live in Australia
//farking animal-torturer!

Julie Cochrane: Heh. When I was a kid I caught a turtle and named it Fargo. I had it in an ice chest outside with water and leaves and stuff, had talked to my mom about needing to find out what he ate.

"Fargo" turned out to be a pretty good name for him. When my friend and I went back to check on him, he was gone. Mom swears she didn't take him out of the chest and let him go, so he must have crawled out on his own. He went.

I laughed at this story, imagining the followup headline, "Man Who Carved Initials in Endangered Turtle Discovers No Statute of Limitations"

your mom put him in the wood chipper

The headline, Man finds turtle

TFA, the dog found the turtle

well, which is it?

RealFarknMcCoy2: I wonder how many Jeff Cokeleys there are in NY? Because I have this overwhelming urge to find one in particular and carve my first initial, last name and year on his stomach....

/He's lucky I live in Australia
//farking animal-torturer!

Are there nerve endings in their shell?

LEON! YOU'RE NOT HELPING!

..got-damned replicants...

RealFarknMcCoy2: I wonder how many Jeff Cokeleys there are in NY? Because I have this overwhelming urge to find one in particular and carve my first initial, last name and year on his stomach....

/He's lucky I live in Australia
//farking animal-torturer!

Yeah, he really seems to have taken years of that turtle's life.

dahmers love zombie: I didn't read TFA, but from the headline, the only way I'm going to be happy at all is if the man's son was disembowled in a freak thresher accident.

/freaks are just about ripe right now...

My great great grandmother was killed in a freak thresher accident, you insensitive bastard.

/srsly, no really. Eeewww.

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Hopefully his son dies in a tire fire.

Does superficially carving into a turtle shell hurt the turtle? If it's the bottom shell nobody's going to see it unless it's flipped over and left that way by an emotionally confused replicant.

They wouldn't think this was such a "funny" story if it were that the boy had someone name carved into him, and then ran into the guy again 47 years later.

JNowe: RealFarknMcCoy2: I wonder how many Jeff Cokeleys there are in NY? Because I have this overwhelming urge to find one in particular and carve my first initial, last name and year on his stomach....

/He's lucky I live in Australia
//farking animal-torturer!

Yeah, he really seems to have taken years of that turtle's life.

If you think animals don't have a quality of life based on their cosmetic condition, you're wrong.

Nem Wan: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Hopefully his son dies in a tire fire.

Does superficially carving into a turtle shell hurt the turtle? If it's the bottom shell nobody's going to see it unless it's flipped over and left that way by an emotionally confused replicant.

Yeah. Carving the plastron (the lower shell), or even having it dragged across rocks sharp enough to scratch it can leave the turtle open to a potentially deadly fungal infection.

What a charming story.

fark you and your disturbed child. I wonder what prison he had to mail the picture to for his son to see it.

Didn't Hitler or someone do something like that too?

ZeroCorpse: JNowe: RealFarknMcCoy2: I wonder how many Jeff Cokeleys there are in NY? Because I have this overwhelming urge to find one in particular and carve my first initial, last name and year on his stomach....

/He's lucky I live in Australia
//farking animal-torturer!

Yeah, he really seems to have taken years of that turtle's life.

If you think animals don't have a quality of life based on their cosmetic condition, you're wrong.

So those researchers who test cosmetics on rabbits are actually doing them a favor?

As much as I oppose people carving stuff into the shells of turtles... they can't really feel that sh*t. Especially on the top shell. That's kind of why they have the f*cking shell... yanno, because it's ARMOR.

Also it was 196ty freaking 5. Animal rights weren't such a big thang back then. Do you punch your granny in the face because she made a sour look at a black person 40 years ago?

Relax you friggen' granola farters. YOU are the reason people dismiss TRUE animal rights agendas.

RatMaster999: MrEricSir: Roook: Who goes around carving stuff into turtles

Douchebag Rednecks.

FTFY

I've done it a couple of times, so yeah.