That's only ironic if you think atheists don't get scared or lonely.

A lot of chaplains are nice people and on-the-job trained therapists.

All Christians know that atheists are secretly as scared of Jesus as they are.

... why the "but" qualifier, as though they're mutually exclusive?

Cake Hunter: A lot of chaplains are nice people and on-the-job trained therapists.

Yep, and I'm happy to talk to nice people.

If they start yammering on about how their invisible friend wants me to do something or give them money, well, "no thanks" is a polite response. But if they just want to chat and pass the time, and I'm not in the middle of something, chaplains are usually great people to talk to.

It's the self-appointed, amateur evangelists who tend to jump straight to my bad side. The professionals are generally cool.

Boxes subby's ears

kmmontandon: ... why the "but" qualifier, as though they're mutually exclusive?

That's the trolly part

As an Atheistic Catholic I for one am grateful for the death-bed hedging provided.

Elmo Jones: Boxes subby's ears

Agreed.

When my father was in his last days, he had us bring his copy of the Quran to keep on the tray. He wasn't Muslim, but he knew it would drive the visiting preacher nuts.

Miss you Dad.

It sure beats staring at the ceiling for a couple of hours.

Elmo Jones: [quizilla.teennick.com image 640x426]
Boxes subby's ears

General Steele: "There are no atheists in foxholes!!!"

They are hoping the chaplain can be talked into giving them blowjobs

Subby, I think you need to educate yourself on the meaning of irony.

Taking the opportunity to speak to someone who's willing to just listen when you're scared, regardless of your faith or lack of it, is a perfectly human thing to do. That the hospital-affiliated ones also know the system is just an added bonus.

What part about "get the fark away" don't you understand?

KiplingKat872: Elmo Jones: Boxes subby's ears

Agreed.

When my father was in his last days, he had us bring his copy of the Quran to keep on the tray. He wasn't Muslim, but he knew it would drive the visiting preacher nuts.

Miss you Dad.

So trolling the preacher was one of his last acts on Earth?

I guess it's good he had a sense of humor.

Most chaplains are trained not to say "you are sick and dying because you deserve it and God hates you".

Sadly many religious people do regard illness and death as God's judgement and do explain such things as resulting from a person not sincerely trusting in Jesus. It's an irrefutable explanation.

rebelyell2006: It sure beats staring at the ceiling for a couple of hours.

Large hospitals have Wi Fi.

Even lacking that, Law and Order reruns on USA would be more interesting that talking to a professional idiot.

Headline is a troll - context makes the whole point:

"Chaplains believe that every person has something in his or her life that serves as a source of meaning. It is our job to aid the person in utilizing their own unique personal, religious, spiritual, or philosophical assets to help the person cope with the current challenges of being a patient"

So Christians are now claiming that they invented talking?

/had Christian door-knockers show up the day after my dad's obit hit the papers
//so I guess they troll newspapers looking for weakened people to exploit
///I'll never forgive them for that

In times of need I become a polytheist or Buddhist, or both. Then I revert back to atheism. Just kidding, I'm just using their names in vain while still at the atheist game. (Never the Abrahamic god or HIndu gods or Celtic, never liked them).

I'm not terminal and I talk to priests all the time.

Indeed, I for one took the opportunity to try to disabuse the 'nice but dim' chaplain lady of some of her more stupid notions. At least I made her think about them enough to discuss them anyway. I'm sure she thought she was working on me, but I am better practiced at this kind of disputation than a part-time hospital chaplain.. she ended up going away promising to read about theodicy.. bet that held a few shocks.

Also I was really bored having finished all of my books until more arrived the next day.

Strongbeerrules: Elmo Jones: [quizilla.teennick.com image 640x426]
Boxes subby's ears

General Steele: "There are no atheists in foxholes!!!"

It's a nice sound bite but hit not true if you've read many war memoirs. There were/are plenty. For example Pat Tillman was spiritual but agnostic if not atheistic.

I once heard an atheist say he loved his kids. I mean, wtf? Make up your mind dude, amiright?

Rabbi Jeffery M. Silberman, D.Min.,

Wait... then what's Al Franken's job?

I'm basically a Taoist and would primarily enjoy staring at a really nice tree. Perhaps even talking to it.

Badgerlad: Subby, I think you need to educate yourself on the meaning of irony.

Taking the opportunity to speak to someone who's willing to just listen when you're scared, regardless of your faith or lack of it, is a perfectly human thing to do. That the hospital-affiliated ones also know the system is just an added bonus.

THIS. Shortly after he completed divinity school, one of my college roommates was a hospital chaplain, a very good one from all reports, and he is an atheist. It's all about the humanity.

/UU, in case you wondered.

Yep, I served as an atheist chaplain in San Francisco as part of my seminary training. Very difficult, very satisfying work -- the patients were always quite glad to talk with me.

/also UU

It's ironic because being an atheist means you refuse to even speak to religious folks?

BigLuca: I once heard an atheist say he loved his kids. I mean, wtf? Make up your mind dude, amiright?

Maybe he meant they tasted good.

Aren't atheism and [insert religion] all just as much of an unknown? I never understood the whole 'I absolutely know ______ and you're full of crap' stance held by so many people.
/agnostic seems far more logical
//too much bigotry

This is the only chaplin I want to see on my deathbed

Gough: Badgerlad: Subby, I think you need to educate yourself on the meaning of irony.

Taking the opportunity to speak to someone who's willing to just listen when you're scared, regardless of your faith or lack of it, is a perfectly human thing to do. That the hospital-affiliated ones also know the system is just an added bonus.

THIS. Shortly after he completed divinity school, one of my college roommates was a hospital chaplain, a very good one from all reports, and he is an atheist. It's all about the humanity.

/UU, in case you wondered.

It's less about faith and more about humanity. People want to connect.

St_Francis_P: That's only ironic if you think atheists don't get scared or lonely.

Or afraid of dying.

JaaVaa: Aren't atheism and [insert religion] all just as much of an unknown? I never understood the whole 'I absolutely know ______ and you're full of crap' stance held by so many people.
/agnostic seems far more logical
//too much bigotry

How, exactly, is an absence of belief in deities an "unknown"?

Questions arise such as, "What did I do to deserve this?" Or even, "Why is God punishing me?"

Oh come on!

Are you five? No supernatural force is out to get you or punish you.

Bad shiat happens to good people all the time, and more often than not it's no one's fault.

Even if you believe in crap like the Bible, you should know that your behavior in the here and now provides practically no protection from harm. Just look at Job for fark's sake.

I was an atheist for a long time and I worked at a Catholic church during those years. I found most of the devoutly religious to be very nice people to talk to when I had problems. You'd get the occasional zealot who couldn't go three seconds without mentioning Jesus or the Bible, but oddly enough most of the priests weren't in that boat; of the ten or so priests I knew personally there is maybe one I wouldn't have wanted to talk to for fear he'd be too preachy.

Many religious people actually believe in the message, not just the messenger. And I think the message of the Gospels is, by and large, a very positive one; regardless of whether Jesus is the son of God, and even regardless of whether he really lived, the Jesus of the Gospels is a good role model in most respects.

Chaplains are professionally pushy, nosy busybodies.

Politely talking to them until they take the hint and go away is not the same as "happy to talk".

JaaVaa: Aren't atheism and [insert religion] all just as much of an unknown? I never understood the whole 'I absolutely know ______ and you're full of crap' stance held by so many people.
/agnostic seems far more logical
//too much bigotry

Atheism and agnosticism are answers to different questions. They are not mutually exclusive.

Trolltastic headline, Subby. I haven't felt the need to speak to a hospital Chaplain myself, but as mentioned before, they aren't just preachers, but professionally-trained clinical counselors as well, who are prepared to engaged with anyone who wants or needs someone just to listen, or a shoulder to cry on.

In the military, this is especially true, not just for those reasons, but because military Chaplains have the amazing power and ability to cut through vast amounts of red tape and just get shiat done for you when the chips are down; believer or atheist, those guys are the shiznit.

LouDobbsAwaaaay: So Christians are now claiming that they invented talking?

/had Christian door-knockers show up the day after my dad's obit hit the papers
//so I guess they troll newspapers looking for weakened people to exploit
///I'll never forgive them for that

That's why the Hare Krishnas used to, and Scientologists still, hang out around airports.

"Why is God punishing me?"

Because you touch yourself.

While I myself haven't been in one of those possibly life ending situations in a hospital my wife was a couple years ago. At age 30 she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Getting rid of that really wasn't that bad for her but the reconstruction nearly killed her. She got an infection so bad she spent a couple weeks in the hospital and wasn't entirely sure she would survive it or not. Between the parking lot I usually parked in and the elevators up to where she was I would pass the hospital chapel each time.

I've been an atheist for some time but am the most reluctant one you'll ever meet. I actually wish I could be a believer because the thought of a powerful being who cares for us and watches out for us is really nice to me. Every time I walked by the chapel I kept hoping that there would be something in me that would draw me inside and talk to the chaplain or something. I spent the night up there with her every night because I wanted to be there if something happened. I'd wake up, go home and get some food, shower, and get the kids to school (grandma was staying with us at the time) and then return. Then I'd leave when the kids were getting home, get them dinner and spend some time with them before going back up to spend the night with my wife. I walked by the chapel quite a bit over those two or three weeks she was in there. Not once did I ever feel even the lightest desire to go in and talk or pray or anything. It was then I knew I was an atheist.

On the bright side, she did end up just fine so hey, all's well that ends well, right? :)

In real life most people like to talk to other people, regardless of religion or politics. Not everybody is a Farker.

Gough: Badgerlad: Subby, I think you need to educate yourself on the meaning of irony.

Taking the opportunity to speak to someone who's willing to just listen when you're scared, regardless of your faith or lack of it, is a perfectly human thing to do. That the hospital-affiliated ones also know the system is just an added bonus.

THIS. Shortly after he completed divinity school, one of my college roommates was a hospital chaplain, a very good one from all reports, and he is an atheist. It's all about the humanity.

/UU, in case you wondered.

I thought their stance was more "You leave us alone and we'll leave you alone" when it comes to gods. (Small or otherwise)

ZeroCorpse: KiplingKat872: Elmo Jones: Boxes subby's ears

Agreed.

When my father was in his last days, he had us bring his copy of the Quran to keep on the tray. He wasn't Muslim, but he knew it would drive the visiting preacher nuts.

Miss you Dad.

So trolling the preacher was one of his last acts on Earth?

I guess it's good he had a sense of humor.

In Arizona no less, so yes.

GhostFish: Questions arise such as, "What did I do to deserve this?" Or even, "Why is God punishing me?"

Oh come on!

Are you five? No supernatural force is out to get you or punish you.



Even though I don't believe in God(s), presumably the Chaplain does; so that should be an easy question to answer...all he/she has to do is ask.

dionysusaur: That's why the Hare Krishnas used to, and Scientologists still, hang out around airports.

If there's one thing in my life that reaffirms my lack of belief in a higher power of any kind, it's air travel.

So just because I might desire human interaction means I automatically have to believe in the sky wizard now?

If there was a god deserving of ANY form of worship I doubt he/she/it would allow the thousands of years of rape/murder/torture to continue here on earth.

And I don't care how hard you believe - there is no way you can put a positive spin on some 2 year old getting raped and killed telling me "its all part of his plan".

accelerus: So just because I might desire human interaction means I automatically have to believe in the sky wizard now?

If there was a god deserving of ANY form of worship I doubt he/she/it would allow the thousands of years of rape/murder/torture to continue here on earth.

And I don't care how hard you believe - there is no way you can put a positive spin on some 2 year old getting raped and killed telling me "its all part of his plan".

If you believe, as Mr. William Lane Craig does, that the child will enter heaven upon death, then the child is actually the recipient of an "infinite good" as a result of the termination of his or her life.