Smooth move, ex-lax.

They should have hired a mathematician to come and work it out with a pencil.

Isn't usually the woman who swallows to get a $20K diamond?

In other news, "there are no bad jobs" says finance minister Jim Flaherty

Can relate

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Can relate
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Waiting for this, thread over.

The waiting game sucks, let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos.

So that's how chocolate diamonds are made...

Hmm seems our RCMP likes watching guys poop.

"Hey, honey, you'll never believe the discount I got on your engagement ring!"

I bet he won't even get to keep the bucket.

I bet that'll feel like shiatting out a Dorito sideways.

If they feed him a lot of fiber, they'll find a diamond in the roughage.

Well..... shiat

The waiting game...

What's to stop him from just eating it again?

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: What's to stop him from just eating it again?

HORK

The Nazis could have gotten Christopher Walken's sweet watch if only they had played the waiting game.

Or I guess the searching game. Whatever.

they call him bugs, cause he likes carets

Hershey Highway Patrol: Isn't usually the woman who swallows to get a $20K diamond?

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: What's to stop him from just eating it again?

This is what I was wondering.

Why Would I Read the Article: The Nazis could have gotten Christopher Walken's sweet watch if only they had played the waiting game.

Or I guess the searching game. Whatever.

Nazis?

Det. Roger Murtaugh politely requests that you find a younger officer to assist with the "diamond retrieval" process.

The cell has no toilet, but does it have a window?

Poo fling!

Someone should shove a lump of coal up his ass, you know, just for grins.

"But you never know, people might want it, saying, 'There's a whole story behind this diamond and I want it,'" Thomas said.

The story being that it was mined by children and traded to an arms dealer for weapons in Africa. Then the arms dealer sold it for a few thousand dollars to a middle man that sold it for $8K to a jewelry shop that is now trying to sell it for $20K. While it was in the jewelry store it was ingested by a thief that was going to try to get about $5K for it from a fence. It was later pooped out, rinsed and returned to the jewelry store that will now try to get $22K for it because it was pooped. Then someone buys the diamond and saves it for an investment. 20 years down the road they try to cash in on their investment only to find that diamonds don't have much of a resale value due to DeBeers artificially raising the value of diamonds by hoarding them. So the poor shmuck can't make his final payment on his house, gets evicted and now lives happily under a bridge abutment in Toledo.

So, you CAN polish a turd.

Old news to these guys.

Poop diamonds are the new blood diamonds... Though at 1.7 karats this is probably gonna be both...

If he doesn't crap for a week does he win?

I find this somewhat relevant, as I, too, am awaiting a bowel movement.

Ceiling Moran: Old news to these guys.
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"I'll skip over that part if you don't mind."

"I wish you would."

/the movie that gave us aircraft out of control flying towards the WTC and "Afghanistan Banana Stand"

Interceptor1: "But you never know, people might want it, saying, 'There's a whole story behind this diamond and I want it,'" Thomas said.

The story being that it was mined by children and traded to an arms dealer for weapons in Africa. Then the arms dealer sold it for a few thousand dollars to a middle man that sold it for $8K to a jewelry shop that is now trying to sell it for $20K. While it was in the jewelry store it was ingested by a thief that was going to try to get about $5K for it from a fence. It was later pooped out, rinsed and returned to the jewelry store that will now try to get $22K for it because it was pooped. Then someone buys the diamond and saves it for an investment. 20 years down the road they try to cash in on their investment only to find that diamonds don't have much of a resale value due to DeBeers artificially raising the value of diamonds by hoarding them. So the poor shmuck can't make his final payment on his house, gets evicted and now lives happily under a bridge abutment in Toledo. has to try to make a living stealing diamonds.

CJHardin: They should have hired a mathematician to come and work it out with a #2 pencil.

Is it safe?

Diamonds.... that'll shut her up

Will these thieves never learn? If you're going to swallow a diamond, make sure you embed it in a wad of chewing gum. It's not like the police are going to wait eight years.

tillerman35: Will these thieves never learn? If you're going to swallow a diamond, make sure you embed it in a wad of chewing gum. It's not like the police are going to wait eight years.


The Statute of Constipations can work to your advantage.

♫ People say he's crazy 'cause he got diamonds in a bowl of his poop ♫

Malak and his brother's sister's cousin approve:

No Snatch reference?

♫ Shiat ouuuuuuut your crazy diamond ♫

what if he has to pee?

It could be worse. It could be a memory card.

he's just smart enough to swallow it again.

Hershey Highway Patrol: Isn't usually the woman who swallows to get a $20K diamond?

Hey! I'm a woman; I swallow. Where's my diamond?

/actually don't care about diamonds
//should be probably be getting something though. . .

If you're on enough pain killers, you might shiat diamonds too - of course we may be into the latter half of next year by the time of your next bowel movment.

Maybe the pros have a way to do this safely but it seems that a cut diamond would shred your guts and such.
CSS, when I was in HS I worked in a jewelry store and some gypsies came in. I was new and let them look at rings and while they created a distraction one of the kids swallowed one.