As a society, we need more "No Masturbation!" signs posted. Everywhere.

OK - just RTFA and, um, "will serve his sentence on an intermittent basis on consecutive weekends."

Well, OK - guess I'm going to volunteer at *that* jail - NOT. Serious question; Did the judge actually say that?

/ sorry for mis-spelling eff

Blair Howard Snow will serve his sentence on an intermittent basis on consecutive weekends.

So he only has to come on the weekends?

Canada. Hookers are legal but you can't fap one out in the privacy of your stall at the local Zellar's. I blame Trudeau. Wait, no... although Pierre was a prick at least he was the one who said the government should stay out of the bedrooms of the nation. Now there's a campaign slogan that would pull in some votes.

Couldn't he just go into the breakroom and polish it in one of the female employee's lockers?

/easier than it sounds.

A Zellers as your own masturbatorium? Not my preference but knock yourself out.

Rodeodoc: Blair Howard Snow will serve his sentence on an intermittent basis on consecutive weekends.

So he only has to come on the weekends?

Canada. Hookers are legal but you can't fap one out in the privacy of your stall at the local Zellar's. I blame Trudeau. Wait, no... although Pierre was a prick at least he was the one who said the government should stay out of the bedrooms of the nation. Now there's a campaign slogan that would pull in some votes.

Closest I've ever come to a simu-post. And you, sir, are favourited. (sp?)

Zales? Did he try to give them a pearl necklace?

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: So that's where he ended up...

That has to be the most clever name for a porno ever. As an expert of these things I'm truly impressed.

Yoy will have to pry my cold dead hands from my cold dead penis

BenSaw: OK - just RTFA and, um, "will serve his sentence on an intermittent basis on consecutive weekends."

Well, OK - guess I'm going to volunteer at *that* jail - NOT. Serious question; Did the judge actually say that?

/ sorry for mis-spelling eff

You volunteer at jails? Do tell.

"Clean up in aisle four! Clean up in aisle four!"

Ben4149: "Clean up in aisle four! Clean up in aisle four!"

"Herb, I was never in aisle four!"

urban.derelict: When masturbation is outlawed, only outlaws will masturbate.

/and I will be their king, having choked more chickens than g*d

I've only choked one, but lotsa times.

/NTTAWWT

I find it hard to see the crime here or the harm/victim. When you close the door to a shiatter you are in a private space. Sometimes you just get filled up and need to let the tadpoles out.

Oh, almost forgot to throw in the obligatory:

Dad?

Isn't defecating worse in almost every way than masturbating? Wtf?

Welcome to Zellers....where you can't beat our prices.

Zellers had decent Olympic stuff in Vancouver during the Winter games

If this was in the US, would he get put on the sex offenders list?

At a department store? I wonder if he got at least 40% off.

i love this headline. +1

I'm getting a kick out of this for two reasons: apparently I'm a serial criminal(or was, anyway) and also, given this dude's last name, I had to laugh when I realized my other open browser tab right now is an interview with Kit Harington.

Every day is masturbation day. Sometimes twice or thrice.

Mambo Bananapatch: Every day is masturbation day. Sometimes twice or thrice.

Do that too much and you'll need some ice.
Or have to get some energy from eating rice
That wasn't alerady eaten by the mice.

Kind of surprised anyone was in Zellers to notice.

Need Help Soonish: WalkingSnake: Need Help Soonish: WalkingSnake: Wait... is masturbating in the restroom illegal?

Holy crap!!! Im a criminal!!!

///What an abrupt thing to learn about yourself on a Tuesday night :/

Seriously.. I'm not going to pretend I've never done it, especially during my younger and more.. energetic.. years. Can someone legitimately get arrested for this? I figured you go in the bathroom and can pretty much do anything short of drugs and be safe.

Before I quit working for them (doing reception/secretary/admin assistant work at huge car dealership) I would slip away for a little "play time" in the afternoon on really slow days... It was more of a way to break up the monotony than anything LOL.

But really, I never was dumb enough to invite anyone in with me :/ That's pretty high up on the dumb scale...

I still do.

/weekends can be slow.

Ed Finnerty: I usually hit up a Zale's. I'm classy like that.

"Excuse me, do you sell anything large enough for me to cram up my arse?"

Ed Finnerty: I usually hit up a Zale's. I'm classy like that.

I totally go to Jared's.

was it in San Diego??