Insert wide stance joke here.

15 is NOT a lot of masturbation days. Trust me.

Is confused as to why you would masturbate at him for 15 days.

Masturbate, like the tellar and the nellar and the gellar and the dellar and the bellar and the wellar and the zellar in the Zellers.

Bastards wouldn't let me get past 15 minutes

She noted this took place in a public washroom adjacent to a family restaurant in a busy department store.

*eye roll*

It's always about the farking children, isn't it?

ecmoRandomNumbers: She noted this took place in a public washroom adjacent to a family restaurant in a busy department store.

*eye roll*

It's always about the farking children, isn't it?

There is no better way to make people go full retard and do things that are against their best interests and those of everyone else than to say "B-B-B-B-B-BUT... TEH CHILDRUN!"

Good thing he wasn't Brazilian

Why the hell would anyone masturbate at Zellers? They panties they sell there are so plain.

I usually hit up a Zale's. I'm classy like that.

ecmoRandomNumbers: She noted this took place in a public washroom adjacent to a family restaurant in a busy department store.

*eye roll*

It's always about the farking children, isn't it?

Unless the shaitter has a picture window opening directly in to the restaurant, giving the diners a most excellent view of the goings on in there, why does this matter even a little?

FTA: He heard noises coming from the cubicle that suggested the man might be masturbating. Acting on his suspicions the security officer knocked on the door of the cubicle. He told the court that Snow stood up and opened the door of the cubicle. Snow had one hand wrapped around his penis, the officer stated. With the other hand he gestured to the officer, who was dressed in jeans and a hoodie, to join him in the cubicle.

This guy has GOT to be a Republican.

/that's just how they roll, yo.

He should appeal. At Zellers, the lowest price is the law, it says nothing about masturbation.

Of course, if he had been a little more patient, he would have probably hit the Target.

They're called stalls, not cubicles. Do we have to demean cubicle employees even further by referring to restroom stalls with the same word?

Also, you're not allowed to masturbate in bathroom stalls? I mean, is he in trouble for that, or did he get in trouble for inviting the cop in? Also, who the hell is monitoring how long people have been in the restroom?

This is whacked.

Everything I know about Prince Edward Island I learned from Anne of Green Gables and this article.

Wait... is masturbating in the restroom illegal?

When masturbation is outlawed, only outlaws will masturbate.

/and I will be their king, having choked more chickens than g*d

This sounds bogus. If by "cubicle" they mean "stall," then what business is it of security what a man is doing in there, as long as it doesn't involve or compromise the physical safety of the store building or its patrons.

Smack him on the head (either one) and send him on his way.

Still, damn 51-year-olds. They're like teen-agers all over again.

"Snow had one hand wrapped around his penis, the officer stated.
With the other hand he gestured to the officer, who was dressed in jeans and a hoodie, to join him in the cubicle."

"You be Trayvon Martin, and I'll shoot at you with my 'gun'."

WalkingSnake: Wait... is masturbating in the restroom illegal?

Holy crap!!! Im a criminal!!!

///What an abrupt thing to learn about yourself on a Tuesday night :/

It's not as if he killed a kitten or anything...

It being Zellers I am surprised there was anyone there to notice.

"Take this type of business elsewhere," Quinn said of Snow's actions.

Um... where would you suggest? Wal-Mart?

Huck And Molly Ziegler: This sounds bogus. If by "cubicle" they mean "stall," then what business is it of security what a man is doing in there, as long as it doesn't involve or compromise the physical safety of the store building or its patrons.

See, that's why I need to know which part he was arrested for - if it's that, then it's bullsh*t. But opening the door with your cock in your hand and telling whoever knocks to come on in...well, yeah, that's frowned upon.

If he was arrested for yelling "GO 'WAY. 'BAITIN'." then I'd be more concerned.

Silly cottager.

Snow stood up and opened the door of the cubicle.
Snow had one hand wrapped around his penis...

He was pretty good to go untillllll then.

Need Help Soonish: WalkingSnake: Wait... is masturbating in the restroom illegal?

Holy crap!!! Im a criminal!!!

///What an abrupt thing to learn about yourself on a Tuesday night :/

Seriously.. I'm not going to pretend I've never done it, especially during my younger and more.. energetic.. years. Can someone legitimately get arrested for this? I figured you go in the bathroom and can pretty much do anything short of drugs and be safe.

When I need to drop a butt muffin I don't want to wait for some shiathead to quit whacking off. I don't want baby batter... anywhere. fark this guy.

That reminds me, I should use up my masturbation days before they expire. Can you believe they don't let you roll them over?

So that's where he ended up...

Arkanaut: That reminds me, I should use up my masturbation days before they expire. Can you believe they don't let you roll them over?

They get all dried up and crusty if you don't use them before the end of the fiscal year.

WalkingSnake: Need Help Soonish: WalkingSnake: Wait... is masturbating in the restroom illegal?

Holy crap!!! Im a criminal!!!

///What an abrupt thing to learn about yourself on a Tuesday night :/

Seriously.. I'm not going to pretend I've never done it, especially during my younger and more.. energetic.. years. Can someone legitimately get arrested for this? I figured you go in the bathroom and can pretty much do anything short of drugs and be safe.

Before I quit working for them (doing reception/secretary/admin assistant work at huge car dealership) I would slip away for a little "play time" in the afternoon on really slow days... It was more of a way to break up the monotony than anything LOL.

But really, I never was dumb enough to invite anyone in with me :/ That's pretty high up on the dumb scale...

Well, he had better hurry up and get his 15 days in before his local Zellers closes!

Besides, I thought The Bay was the HBC brand that had a lot more bathroom activity - apparently their Yonge and Bloor store gave the slogan "Meet Me at The Bay" new meaning...

WalkingSnake: I figured you go in the bathroom and can pretty much do anything short of drugs and be safe.

Wait what? I just got back from Disneyworld and fired up my hitter in a bathroom in pretty much every park. Was that wrong, should I not have done that?

Need Help Soonish: WalkingSnake: Need Help Soonish: WalkingSnake: Wait... is masturbating in the restroom illegal?

Holy crap!!! Im a criminal!!!

///What an abrupt thing to learn about yourself on a Tuesday night :/



Before I quit working for them (doing reception/secretary/admin assistant work at huge car dealership) I would slip away for a little "play time" in the afternoon on really slow days... It was more of a way to break up the monotony than anything LOL.

But really, I never was dumb enough to invite anyone in with me :/ That's pretty high up on the dumb scale...

I had you favorited in a cat-house purple with the description 'saucy'. Guess that's why.

Wait a minute is this not still America??

"The charge against Snow dates back to April 4, 2009 and was laid after a store security officer discovered the accused masturbating in a cubicle in the men's room of the busy department store."

"Acting on his suspicions the security officer knocked on the door of the cubicle."

Evil Canadian: Well, he had better hurry up and get his 15 days in before his local Zellers closes!

Besides, I thought The Bay was the HBC brand that had a lot more bathroom activity - apparently their Yonge and Bloor store gave the slogan "Meet Me at The Bay" new meaning...

The Bay had the same size bag as Blomingdales, that one could stand not uncomfortably in and otherwise be serviced invisibly in the stall...according to reports... Coincidence?

CitizenTed: FTA: He heard noises coming from the cubicle that suggested the man might be masturbating. Acting on his suspicions the security officer knocked on the door of the cubicle. He told the court that Snow stood up and opened the door of the cubicle. Snow had one hand wrapped around his penis, the officer stated. With the other hand he gestured to the officer, who was dressed in jeans and a hoodie, to join him in the cubicle.

This guy has GOT to be a Republican.

/that's just how they roll, yo.

No, a republican wouldn't have shared the wealth with a have not, this is socialist masturbation.

A video of people describing what they saw (R-Rated)

15 days?

/could do that with my hands tied behind my back

//jackoff

We can can still masturbate in the restaurant kitchens right?

"He has been banned from the store for the duration of his probation."



But after that he's good to go again, right?

I_Am_Weasel: He should appeal. At Zellers, the lowest price is the law, it says nothing about masturbation.

Of course, if he had been a little more patient, he would have probably hit the Target.

Ha! I see what you did there...

Zellers is dirty and trashy. An old perv jacking it in the toilet would only improve the ambiance of the place.

Yeah, really - I'd give him, like, 15 min. and I'd be all like - "Dude, REALLY? - just get the erff outta here, I mean really, I mean that's just...oooo go on - go home.

// fogot where the end-quote should be
/// now I sound stupid

I masturbate in the stockroom like a normal person.

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I masturbate in the stockroom like a normal person.

You're a Farker... you can't be a 'normal person'.

;-)

Sin_City_Superhero: 15 is NOT a lot of masturbation days. Trust me.

But does he have to stay at Zellers? Then it would be kind of rough.