Got any grapes?

Caught in a chimney he never made!

Waaaaaugh!

It's May, you daft bint.

Put a sweater on.

47? She don't look a day over sexy-as-hell.

Duck lady is pretty hot. There has to be a duck/chimney euphemism I'm missing.

I don't know about chimneys, but I'd take a gander under her shirt.

Oh good lord, I'd do more than spray soot on Helen's filthy carpets. Duck not withstanding.

/BritHot

Sorry, duck's off.

Trifle, anyone?

hot mustard

Hopefully, they had an elephant on hand.

AverageAmericanGuy: It's May, you daft bint.

Put a sweater on.

Several things:
1) "daft bint" sounds British or English, and your Fark handle seems otherwise.
2) If you were British or English you would use "jumper" instead of "sweater".
3) It's freakin' May, you don't need a sweater, put on shorts and give those white legs some sun.

So, you're either a bad Yank or a bad Limey. Go for French and just give up.

//Kidding, and having fun...

Render the fat, make poutine

/DNRTFA, obviously.

say the secret word, the duck comes down, you will an extra $100

I wonder if the sooty carpet matches the drapes?

I would have sex with that woman.

Only Americans eat Duck Sauce

Barbara Streisand?

Made me smile. Nice.
/DNRTFA

I might be a coeur simple, but "fowl mess" made me chuckle.

Just a duck that got daffy and lost his way

Sounds like everyone was playing a game of Duck! Duck! Souuup!

fak u gooby

*Slow claps*

Nice jorb subby.

Sorry, duck's off.

I just saw some movie where a bird flew down the chimney and flew out on fire but I can't remember anything else about the movie.

Like flames off of a duck's back.