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   "What are you in for?" "Unlawful possession of abalone"

16 May 2012 02:51 PM   |   5552 clicks   |   Some Guy
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BKITU    [TotalFark]  
Meh, it's a shiatty game, anyway.

16 May 2012 02:29 PM
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Jon iz teh kewl     
cdn.static.ovimg.com

16 May 2012 02:52 PM
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Salt Lick Steady     
F*cking Russians.

16 May 2012 02:53 PM
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Mr Guy     
They seriously tried the, "but we all look the same to you" defense.

16 May 2012 02:54 PM
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Skyd1v     
I turned to him, I said
"A-balone, you're just being shellfish"
Well, I knew it was going to be trouble and so did Gil
'Cause he was already on the phone to the cods

16 May 2012 02:54 PM
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PanicMan     
"Trolling for tuna"

16 May 2012 02:55 PM
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drkokintz     
He said I'd blown a seal.
I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it. Ok, pal?"

16 May 2012 02:56 PM
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RandomAxe    [TotalFark]  
The warden testified Huang then swam over to Mei, and Mei took five abalone from Huang. The men then went out of view behind a rock. When the two came back into view, they were now accompanied by a woman.

If they were transforming abalone into women, my main question is whether or not she was hot.

16 May 2012 02:59 PM
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ccguy     
Skyd1v: I turned to him, I said
"A-balone, you're just being shellfish"
Well, I knew it was going to be trouble and so did Gil
'Cause he was already on the phone to the cods


And what did you get for your trouble?

16 May 2012 02:59 PM
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Cheron     
"And creating a nuisance."

16 May 2012 03:00 PM
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BretMavrik     
Socks.

16 May 2012 03:01 PM
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TheRedMonkey     
Really? Strange tag? Poaching in California is out of control and a huge drain on our natural resources and those of us who want to be able to enjoy them.

16 May 2012 03:02 PM
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Car RamRod     
money.cnn.com

16 May 2012 03:03 PM
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Dahnkster     
img.en.china.cn

My baloney loves me some 'abalone'.

euphemism

16 May 2012 03:05 PM
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Mr.Hawk     
TheRedMonkey: Really? Strange tag? Poaching in California is out of control and a huge drain on our natural resources and those of us who want to be able to enjoy them.

Agreed. Poachers of any sort are farkwads.

16 May 2012 03:06 PM
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SuperChuck     
upload.wikimedia.org

Unavailable for comment

16 May 2012 03:06 PM
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HailRobonia     
A bologna what? Sandwich?

16 May 2012 03:07 PM
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TheMysteriousStranger     
I can name fifty states where poaching is a jailable offense. Duh.

16 May 2012 03:09 PM
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MrCheeks     
1.bp.blogspot.com
"I didn't ask for a bologna sandwich! I wanted an abalone sandwich!"

16 May 2012 03:10 PM
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MBooda     
They can have my Awabi when they can pry it from my cold dead paws.
lair2000.net

16 May 2012 03:11 PM
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sotua     
Oh, it's poaching. You already have to be leery of rosewood guitars if you travel abroad, but dammit, I like my abalone inlays!

16 May 2012 03:12 PM
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abhorrent1     
I see this on "Wild Justice" all the time.

16 May 2012 03:14 PM
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Howard Dean     
Something is fishy about that story.

16 May 2012 03:17 PM
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CasperImproved     
Poachers are a very low form of life. I would call them amoebas, but they would likely consider it a compliment.

16 May 2012 03:19 PM
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PlatinumDragon     
At least they didn't get done for eating Pick-'N-Mix.

/better not be obscure
//fark poachers, be glad no one goes dian fossey on you over abalone

16 May 2012 03:19 PM
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dittybopper    [TotalFark]  
"What are you in for?" "Unlawful possession of abalone"

And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing, father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the bench.

16 May 2012 03:23 PM
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natas6.0    [TotalFark]  
Awesome!
I used to go fer abalone all over that area
there is a certain racial group who are pretty consistent with their abalone poaching.
My pals and I have reported them time and time again.
The local badges are pretty good with showing up for the calls and fragging them for it.
it's a business for 'em
This isn't meat to help their family keep from starving
like taking a deer outta season in an area where sensitive/ignorant people would rather enjoy a massive overpopulation and have them die by car

16 May 2012 03:24 PM
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dittybopper    [TotalFark]  
PlatinumDragon: At least they didn't get done for eating Pick-'N-Mix.

/better not be obscure
//fark poachers, be glad no one goes dian fossey on you over abalone


What, you mean attack their machetes with your head?

16 May 2012 03:26 PM
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anuran     
drkokintz: He said I'd blown a seal.
I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it. Ok, pal?"


Sounds like you had a wet dream

16 May 2012 03:35 PM
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skantea    [TotalFark]  
Fried abalone is so incredibly delicious, it's now wonder we've eaten them to extinction.


/Yeah, friend of mine poached some long before i knew it was a crime. Still remember how shockingly good it was. Even a cloned fast food version would take over the market place. It's THAT good.

16 May 2012 03:37 PM
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JackieRabbit     
Well, damnit, I say they deserve jail! Any chef could have told them that you should never attempt to poach abalone. It makes it rubbery and tasteless.

16 May 2012 03:42 PM
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bentley57     
i71.photobucket.com

16 May 2012 03:46 PM
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HailRobonia     
What a possessed abalone might look like:

www.barbara-broido.com

16 May 2012 03:48 PM
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bim1154     
Abalone, Abalone
Prettiest Mollusks I ever seen.
Folks down there don't treat you mean
My Abalone, my Abalone.

I sit alone most every night
Watch them trains roll out of sight
Wish that they were carryin' me
Some Abalone, my Abalone.

Crowded city, ain't nothin' free
Nothin' in this town for me
Wish to God that I could have me
Some Abalone, my Abalone.

How I wish that train would come
Take me back where I come from.
Take me where I can have
Some Abalone, my Abalone.

Rotgut whiskey numbs the brain
If I stay here I'll go insane.
Think I need a change of diet
Some Abalone, my Abalone.

Outside my window cold rain falls,
Sit here starin' at the walls;
If I was home, I'd be eating
Some Abalone, my Abalone

16 May 2012 03:48 PM
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irwin_m    [TotalFark]  
anuran: drkokintz: He said I'd blown a seal.
I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it. Ok, pal?"

Sounds like you had a wet dream


Must have been cruising in the gulfstream...

16 May 2012 04:12 PM
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skraptastic     
As someone who dives for Abalone on the Mendocino coast fairly regularly, this warms my heart. I love nothing more than seeing someone get busted for poaching.

16 May 2012 04:12 PM
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OldManDownDRoad     
irwin_m: anuran: drkokintz: He said I'd blown a seal.
I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it. Ok, pal?"

Sounds like you had a wet dream

Must have been cruising in the gulfstream...


Forget the cods, this guys's going to need a sturgeon.

16 May 2012 04:26 PM
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Smeggy Smurf    [TotalFark]  
I can't wait to see the 27 8X10 color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was

16 May 2012 04:26 PM
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superfudge73     
I don't mean to go off and get all racist but Asian poachers, especially with fish, really grind my gears. I live in Orange County, CA and love surf fishing and I've seen so many Asian fellas walking away with 20 inch halibut, 3 foot tiger sharks etc. I've tried to tell them that they need to throw them back and they conveniently pretend to not understand English. I'm not saying that Caucasians or other races don't poach, there was a video last year of a stupid white guy dragging a black sea bass up beach in Newport but it seems like the vast majority of fish poachers are Asian. Mostly because they eat everything they catch unlike other races in CA who fish mostly for sport.

16 May 2012 04:30 PM
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superfudge73     
superfudge73: I don't mean to go off and get all racist but Asian poachers, especially with fish, really grind my gears. I live in Orange County, CA and love surf fishing and I've seen so many Asian fellas walking away with 20 inch halibut, 3 foot tiger sharks etc. I've tried to tell them that they need to throw them back and they conveniently pretend to not understand English. I'm not saying that Caucasians or other races don't poach, there was a video last year of a stupid white guy dragging a black sea bass up beach in Newport but it seems like the vast majority of fish poachers are Asian. Mostly because they eat everything they catch unlike other races in CA who fish mostly for sport.

leopard shark

16 May 2012 04:34 PM
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dryknife     
"What are you in for?"

Mother stabbing and father raping.

16 May 2012 04:35 PM
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Thorny4Pie     
If the subby knew anything about abalone, subby would know there is nothing strange about this. Abalone are serious business.

/used to dive for them near Jenner, CA

16 May 2012 05:05 PM
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Ender's    [TotalFark]  
This kinda stuff happens all the time. Friends were telling me about a group of guys who went out into the bay, pulled a whole ZODIAC'S WORTH OF ABS, then started motoring in. After seeing the DFG, they started dumping them in the ocean. F*cking junkwads. Abs usually can't survive attempting to cling themselves back onto a rock, killing them. Either that or they use their ab knives to cut the abs, killing them even quicker.

Good on the DFG in this one.

16 May 2012 05:17 PM
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phaseolus     
sotua: Oh, it's poaching. You already have to be leery of rosewood guitars if you travel abroad, but dammit, I like my abalone inlays!

Digging a little further, Abalone isn't listed in the CITES Appendices, so that's not an issue.

Well, not today.

16 May 2012 05:20 PM
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PsyLord    [TotalFark]  
Thorny4Pie: If the subby knew anything about abalone, subby would know there is nothing strange about this. Abalone are serious business.

/used to dive for them near Jenner, CA


THIS. I thought that they were pretty damn expensive.

16 May 2012 05:27 PM
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sotua     
phaseolus: sotua: Oh, it's poaching. You already have to be leery of rosewood guitars if you travel abroad, but dammit, I like my abalone inlays!

Cool, an excuse to hotlink some guitar porn --

Grit Laskin:

[www.bluegrasstoday.com image 600x348]
[blog.dreamguitars.com image 480x640]
[www.blue-g.com image 490x752]

Larry Robinson:

[www.djmarks.com image 544x726]
[inlay-arts.com image 339x600]


i195.photobucket.com

16 May 2012 05:38 PM
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AverageAmericanGuy     
Turns out you can't have anything you want at Alice's restaurant.

17 May 2012 02:44 AM
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destrip     
She drank like a ... She drank a lot!

-------------

The only thing I am curious about is the relevance of the clotting factor of abalone blood. Are they actually hacking the abalone open to grade it, or are they just leaving low-grade specimens on the shore, presumably to die? If the latter is true then I don't understand what blood has to do with it.

17 May 2012 08:56 AM
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Kniggit     
www.ahbaloney.com

17 May 2012 03:49 PM
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