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| The official list of words that get the attention of Homeland Security when you chat with your BFF Jill on FB |
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| NowhereMon
What happens if I use them all simultaneously, some kind of homeland security singularity? Domestic Security Assassination Attack Domestic security Drill Exercise Cops Law enforcement Authorities Disaster assistance Disaster management DNDO (Domestic Nuclear Detection Office) National preparedness Mitigation Prevention Response Recovery Dirty bomb Domestic nuclear detection Emergency management Emergency response First responder Homeland security Maritime domain awareness (MDA) National preparedness initiative Militia Shooting Shots fired Evacuation Deaths Hostage Explosion (explosive) Police Disaster medical assistance team (DMAT) Organized crime Gangs National security State of emergency Security Breach Threat Standoff SWAT Screening Lockdown Bomb (squad or threat) Crash Looting Riot Emergency Landing Pipe bomb Incident Facility HAZMAT & Nuclear Hazmat Nuclear Chemical spill Suspicious package/device Toxic National laboratory Nuclear facility Nuclear threat Cloud Plume Radiation Radioactive Leak Biological infection (or event) Chemical Chemical burn Biological Epidemic Hazardous Hazardous material incident Industrial spill Infection Powder (white) Gas Spillover Anthrax Blister agent Chemical agent Exposure Burn Nerve agent Ricin Sarin North Korea Health Concern + H1N1 Outbreak Contamination Exposure Virus Evacuation Bacteria Recall Ebola Food Poisoning Foot and Mouth (FMD) H5N1 Avian Flu Strain Quarantine H1N1 Vaccine Salmonella Small Pox Plague Human to human Human to Animal Influenza Center for Disease Control (CDC) Drug Administration (FDA) Public Health Toxic Agro Terror Tuberculosis (TB) Tamiflu Norvo Virus Epidemic Agriculture Listeria Symptoms Mutation Resistant Antiviral Wave Pandemic Infection Water/air borne Sick Swine Pork World Health Organization (WHO) (and components) Viral Hemorrhagic Fever E. Coli Infrastructure Security Infrastructure security Airport CIKR (Critical Infrastructure & Key Resources) AMTRAK Collapse Computer infrastructure Communications infrastructure Telecommunications Critical infrastructure National infrastructure Metro WMATA Airplane (and derivatives) Chemical fire Subway BART MARTA Port Authority NBIC (National Biosurveillance Integration Center) Transportation security Grid Power Smart Body scanner Electric Failure or outage Black out Brown out Port Dock Bridge Cancelled Delays Service disruption Power lines Southwest Border Violence Drug cartel Violence Gang Drug Narcotics Cocaine Marijuana Heroin Border Mexico Cartel Southwest Juarez Sinaloa Tijuana Torreon Yuma Tucson Decapitated U.S. Consulate Consular El Paso Fort Hancock San Diego Ciudad Juarez Nogales Sonora Colombia Mara salvatrucha MS13 or MS-13 Drug war Mexican army Methamphetamine Cartel de Golfo Gulf Cartel La Familia Reynosa Nuevo Leon Narcos Narco banners (Spanish equivalents) Los Zetas Shootout Execution Gunfight Trafficking Kidnap Calderon Reyosa Bust Tamaulipas Meth Lab Drug trade Illegal immigrants Smuggling (smugglers) Matamoros Michoacana Guzman Arellano-Felix Beltran-Leyva Barrio Azteca Artistic Assassins Mexicles New Federation Terrorism Terrorism Al Qaeda (all spellings) Terror Attack Iraq Afghanistan Iran Pakistan Agro Environmental terrorist Eco terrorism Conventional weapon Target Weapons grade Dirty bomb Enriched Nuclear Chemical weapon Biological weapon Ammonium nitrate Improvised explosive device IED (Improvised Explosive Device) Abu Sayyaf Hamas FARC (Armed Revolutionary Forces Colombia) IRA (Irish Republican Army) ETA (Euskadi ta Askatasuna) Basque Separatists Hezbollah Tamil Tigers PLF (Palestine Liberation Front) PLO (Palestine Liberation Organization Car bomb Jihad Taliban Weapons cache Suicide bomber Suicide attack Suspicious substance AQAP (AL Qaeda Arabian Peninsula) AQIM (Al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb) TTP (Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan) Yemen Pirates Extremism Somalia Nigeria Radicals Al-Shabaab Home grown Plot Nationalist Recruitment Fundamentalism Islamist Weather/Disaster/Emergency Emergency Hurricane Tornado Twister Tsunami Earthquake Tremor Flood Storm Crest Temblor Extreme weather Forest fire Brush fire Ice Stranded/Stuck Help Hail Wildfire Tsunami Warning Center Magnitude Avalanche Typhoon Shelter-in-place Disaster Snow Blizzard Sleet Mud slide or Mudslide Erosion Power outage Brown out Warning Watch Lightening Aid Relief Closure Interstate Burst Emergency Broadcast System Cyber Security Cyber security Botnet DDOS (dedicated denial of service) Denial of service Malware Virus Trojan Keylogger Cyber Command 2600 Spammer Phishing Rootkit Phreaking Cain and abel Brute forcing Mysql injection Cyber attack Cyber terror Hacker China Conficker Worm Scammers Social media |
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jehovahs witness protection ![[TotalFark]](http://img.fark.net/images/2003/totalfark.gif "[TotalFark]"){kind=small}
NowhereMon is my hero. |
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| MrBallou
Oh, great. Now we're ALL in trouble. |
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| FloydA
Semprini Belgium Lemon curry Swordfish |
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| IronTom
So now they need to scan for all posts that don't have those words in them. |
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| omnibus_necanda_sunt
Hah. Idiots didn't even put any chemical terminology in there. picric acid acetone peroxide ethylene glycol dinitrate cyclotetramethylene tetranitramine /you gonna get raped |
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| Elandriel
NowhereMon: bad things Pretty soon the government is going to give you a kiss on each cheek. /'Cause they love this stuff |
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| scottydoesntknow
What about moist? Moist |
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| downstairs
Right, because terrorists are going to discuss their plans in detail, on their public facebook pages. |
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| 2wolves
Good thing all terrorists write using English. |
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| Snarcoleptic_Hoosier
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| Calmamity
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| thomps
Calmamity: jehovahs witness protection: NowhereMon is my hero. Let's all post that as our FB status. we could but i don't think any of my FB friends would know who NowhereMon is. |
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| downstairs
I'm going to favorite NowhereMon just to see if he ever posts here again. /I LOL'd |
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| T. Dawg
Maybe we should enable voting and see who can string together the best intelligible sentence using the most key words while being as innocuous as possible... |
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| jehovahs witness protection
T. Dawg: Maybe we should enable voting and see who can string together the best intelligible sentence using the most key words while being as innocuous as possible... Hell yeah! |
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| cmunic8r99
NowhereMon: What happens if I use them all simultaneously, some kind of homeland security singularity?  |
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| revrendjim
Vibraphone. Wankel Rotary Engine. |
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| clownyclownzomby
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| jehovahs witness protection
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| cannotsuggestaname
T. Dawg: Maybe we should enable voting and see who can string together the best intelligible sentence using the most key words while being as innocuous as possible... where is StopArrestingMe when you really need him? |
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| Mr. Fuzzypaws
The duck flew over the pond. |
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| cman
Hope and Change greatest marketing term in the history of mankind |
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| serial_crusher
So if I'm reading their argument right, the first amendment not only protects your right to say what you want about the government and other topics, but it also forbids the government to listening to the things you say about the government and other topics? That doesn't sound particularly useful to me, having a government that's required to ignore its citizens. |
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| serial_crusher
Domestic Security Assassination Attack Domestic security You said Domestic Security twice. You must really like Domestic Security. |
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| downstairs
serial_crusher: So if I'm reading their argument right, the first amendment not only protects your right to say what you want about the government and other topics, but it also forbids the government to listening to the things you say about the government and other topics? That doesn't sound particularly useful to me, having a government that's required to ignore its citizens. That part of the article is bunk. One should never expect the government to not listen into their PUBLIC postings and speech in general. If you shout out loud on the street "I'm going to shoot my neighbor!!!" in front of a cop, you're gonna be in trouble. If you conspire to murder someone in the privacy of your home, the cops will need a warrant to gather said evidence. |
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| SnakeLee
Marijuana and Cocaine are there, but no slang terms for them. Seems realistic |
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| violentsalvation
I google translated all that to Arabic but I changed my mind about posting it. |
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| Thelyphthoric
Albatross!!! |
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| reverendstrife
this thread is the bomb |
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| Irascible
violentsalvation: I google translated all that to Arabic but I changed my mind about posting it. Here ya go! اغتيال مهاجمة الأمن الداخلي حفر ممارسة الشرطة تطبيق القانون سلطات كارثة المساعدة إدارة الكوارث DNDO (نووية محلية كشف مكتب) الوطنية للتأهب تخفيف منع استجابة انتعاش القنبلة القذرة المحلية في حالات الطوارئ النووية كشف إدارة الاستجابة لحالات الطوارئ المستجيب الأول أمن الوطن البحرية نطاق الوعي (MDA) الوطنية للتأهب مبادرة ميليشيا اطلاق النار أطلقت أعيرة نارية إخلاء حالة وفاة رهينة انفجار (المتفجرة) شرطة المساعدة الطبية في حالات الكوارث فريق (DMAT) عصابات الجريمة المنظمة الأمن القومي حالة الطوارئ أمن خرق التهديد المواجهة SWAT فحص تأمين قنبلة (فرقة أو التهديد) تحطم نهب شغب الهبوط في حالات الطوارئ أنبوب قنبلة حادث تسهيل المواد الخطرة والنووية I hear gitmo is lovely this time of year! fark Homeland Security. Seriously, fark 'em. |
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| Calmamity
thomps: Calmamity: jehovahs witness protection: NowhereMon is my hero. Let's all post that as our FB status. we could but i don't think any of my FB friends would know who NowhereMon is.  |
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| cretinbob
penis |
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| whither_apophis
hell, damn, fart! |
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| Fista-Phobia
meatspin |
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| NkThrasher
DDOS (dedicated denial of service) Dedicated? Really? |
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| Gyrfalcon
downstairs: Right, because terrorists are going to discuss their plans in detail, on their public facebook pages. Dude, criminals post videos of themselves committing their crimes and bragging about it afterwards on their Facebook and YouTube accounts ALL THE TIME. And terrorists are just criminals with more firepower. Despite what the tinhat brigade would like to think, terrorists are no smarter than the douchebag down the street blowing up mailboxes with M-80s. The likelihood, however, that any international terrorists are going to talk about international crimes on a domestic Facebook account is vanishingly small. |
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| Peter Wimsey
Came for George Carlin reference. Had to make it myself. |
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| pedrop357
Posting here to guarantee my spot on the the list. |
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| TheShavingofOccam123
MrBallou: Oh, great. Now we're ALL in trouble. He's the one!!! That's the guy!!! I'd know him anywhere!!!! /whew...I thought I was a goner there... |
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| pedrop357
NkThrasher: DDOS (dedicated denial of service) Dedicated? Really? As opposed to the ones where their heart just isn't in it. |
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| Satanic_Hamster
Domestic Security Assassination Attack Domestic security Drill Exercise Cops Law enforcement Authorities Disaster assistance Disaster management DNDO (Domestic Nuclear Detection Office) National preparedness Mitigation Prevention Response Recovery Dirty bomb Domestic nuclear detection Emergency management Emergency response First responder Homeland security Maritime domain awareness (MDA) National preparedness initiative Militia Shooting Shots fired Evacuation Deaths Hostage Explosion (explosive) Police Disaster medical assistance team (DMAT) Organized crime Gangs National security State of emergency Security Breach Threat Standoff SWAT Screening Lockdown Bomb (squad or threat) Crash Looting Riot Emergency Landing Pipe bomb Incident Facility HAZMAT & Nuclear Hazmat Nuclear Chemical spill Suspicious package/device Toxic National laboratory Nuclear facility Nuclear threat Cloud Plume Radiation Radioactive Leak Biological infection (or event) Chemical Chemical burn Biological Epidemic Hazardous Hazardous material incident Industrial spill Infection Powder (white) Gas Spillover Anthrax Blister agent Chemical agent Exposure Burn Nerve agent Ricin Sarin North Korea Health Concern + H1N1 Outbreak Contamination Exposure Virus Evacuation Bacteria Recall Ebola Food Poisoning Foot and Mouth (FMD) H5N1 Avian Flu Strain Quarantine H1N1 Vaccine Salmonella Small Pox Plague Human to human Human to Animal Influenza Center for Disease Control (CDC) Drug Administration (FDA) Public Health Toxic Agro Terror Tuberculosis (TB) Tamiflu Norvo Virus Epidemic Agriculture Listeria Symptoms Mutation Resistant Antiviral Wave Pandemic Infection Water/air borne Sick Swine Pork World Health Organization (WHO) (and components) Viral Hemorrhagic Fever E. Coli Infrastructure Security Infrastructure security Airport CIKR (Critical Infrastructure & Key Resources) AMTRAK Collapse Computer infrastructure Communications infrastructure Telecommunications Critical infrastructure National infrastructure Metro WMATA Airplane (and derivatives) Chemical fire Subway BART MARTA Port Authority NBIC (National Biosurveillance Integration Center) Transportation security Grid Power Smart Body scanner Electric Failure or outage Black out Brown out Port Dock Bridge Cancelled Delays Service disruption Power lines Southwest Border Violence Drug cartel Violence Gang Drug Narcotics Cocaine Marijuana Heroin Border Mexico Cartel Southwest Juarez Sinaloa Tijuana Torreon Yuma Tucson Decapitated U.S. Consulate Consular El Paso Fort Hancock San Diego Ciudad Juarez Nogales Sonora Colombia Mara salvatrucha MS13 or MS-13 Drug war Mexican army Methamphetamine Cartel de Golfo Gulf Cartel La Familia Reynosa Nuevo Leon Narcos Narco banners (Spanish equivalents) Los Zetas Shootout Execution Gunfight Trafficking Kidnap Calderon Reyosa Bust Tamaulipas Meth Lab Drug trade Illegal immigrants Smuggling (smugglers) Matamoros Michoacana Guzman Arellano-Felix Beltran-Leyva Barrio Azteca Artistic Assassins Mexicles New Federation Terrorism Terrorism Al Qaeda (all spellings) Terror Attack Iraq Afghanistan Iran Pakistan Agro Environmental terrorist Eco terrorism Conventional weapon Target Weapons grade Dirty bomb Enriched Nuclear Chemical weapon Biological weapon Ammonium nitrate Improvised explosive device IED (Improvised Explosive Device) Abu Sayyaf Hamas FARC (Armed Revolutionary Forces Colombia) IRA (Irish Republican Army) ETA (Euskadi ta Askatasuna) Basque Separatists Hezbollah Tamil Tigers PLF (Palestine Liberation Front) PLO (Palestine Liberation Organization Car bomb Jihad Taliban Weapons cache Suicide bomber Suicide attack Suspicious substance AQAP (AL Qaeda Arabian Peninsula) AQIM (Al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb) TTP (Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan) Yemen Pirates Extremism Somalia Nigeria Radicals Al-Shabaab Home grown Plot Nationalist Recruitment Fundamentalism Islamist Weather/Disaster/Emergency Emergency Hurricane Tornado Twister Tsunami Earthquake Tremor Flood Storm Crest Temblor Extreme weather Forest fire Brush fire Ice Stranded/Stuck Help Hail Wildfire Tsunami Warning Center Magnitude Avalanche Typhoon Shelter-in-place Disaster Snow Blizzard Sleet Mud slide or Mudslide Erosion Power outage Brown out Warning Watch Lightening Aid Relief Closure Interstate Burst Emergency Broadcast System Cyber Security Cyber security Botnet DDOS (dedicated denial of service) Denial of service Malware Virus Trojan Keylogger Cyber Command 2600 Spammer Phishing Rootkit Phreaking Cain and abel Brute forcing Mysql injection Cyber attack Cyber terror Hacker China Conficker Worm Scammers Social media |
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| Nadie_AZ
Cops exercise law enforcement prevention via shooting dirty bomb militia. First responder deaths breach security from shots fired during a state of emergency. Looting Homeland security facility is a threat initiative. This is harder than it looks. I feel like Micheal Bay's screen writer. |
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| doglover
Nadie_AZ: Cops exercise law enforcement prevention via shooting dirty bomb militia. First responder deaths breach security from shots fired during a state of emergency. Looting Homeland security facility is a threat initiative. This is harder than it looks. I feel like Micheal Bay's screen writer. You mean you're not? |
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| TheShavingofOccam123
They don't include the word coyotes? You have got to be kidding me. |
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| alicechaos
How about we start a contest -- Use at least 50 of these words in an innocuous yet humorous paragraph? |
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| NkThrasher
pedrop357: NkThrasher: DDOS (dedicated denial of service) Dedicated? Really? As opposed to the ones where their heart just isn't in it. SDOS? Slacking Denial of Service? |
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| serpent_sky
cannotsuggestaname: where is StopArrestingMe when you really need him? He got arrested. Again. His poor grandma will collapse when she hears the news. He was caught shoplifting Trojan condoms at Target. |
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| Jon iz teh kewl
abacab cause your never there |
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| freakymescan
The sad truth is, most of my text are about my bowel movements. I'm sure they have a whole file dedicated to those. |
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