Maybe you shouldn't carry a smartphone if you're going to commit crime.

You're my best friend, phone, I can tell you all my deepest darkest hey wait are you calling the police? WAIT!

So I guess all those people joking to Siri about where to bury a dead hooker are in for a surprise visit from Big Brother.

I suppose as voice-recognition software becomes more and more ubiquitous this may be an actual problem. However, the old wartime adage, "loose lips sink ships" would appear to apply here, as well.

PsyLord: So I guess all those people joking to Siri about where to bury a dead hooker are in for a surprise visit from Big Brother.

You want to talk surprises? My hooker wasn't dead.

Is this where the android users pipe in with the "if you're stupid enough to overpay for an iphone, you deserve what you get" line?

'Cause I like that part.

/android user
//rooted galaxy s2
//farts in i-things general direction

I've only used Siri once (friend's iPhone) but damned if it wasn't accurate!

/"Siri, where can I get a blowjob."
//It pulled up 10+ escort services and massage parlors
///CSB

Yes, but the smarter criminals will know how to use this to their advantage. Example:

I walk into First National Bank and approach teller-
Me: Alright, gimme all your cash!
Me: (to Siri) Is that rain?
Me: (to teller) NO DYE PACKS, biatch!
Me: (to Siri) I'm currently lost in a rainforest, Siri, miles away from civilization. Can I have directions back to the city? And I'd like to go to my bank, the Second National Bank, the only bank I ever step foot in.

see, perfect alibi

How many years for "Is that rain?"

Your real problem is you didn't want to put on real shoes. Big hindrance to the getaway.

Linguiça

Saying "Call me 'Rock God'" should be punishable by a lifetime of house arrest with nothing but a Consumer Cellular flip-phone and an OLPC.

hammettman:
Me: (to Siri) I'm currently lost in a rainforest, Siri, miles away from civilization. Can I have directions back to the city? And I'd like to go to my bank, the Second National Bank, the only bank I ever step foot in.

see, perfect alibi

Your cunning plan, thought it through, you have not.

SIRI: Accessing maps, processing navigation request...GPS coordinates and cell phone triangulation indicates that your current location is the First National Bank on Main Street. Also, I can hear you when you shout, even if you are not addressing me. Activating "Lost Handset" subroutines. Initiating "SCREAMER" mode. Initiating "LOCATOR BEACON" mode. Would you like an interactive display of all police patrol units within a one mile radius?

/has no idea how SIRI talks, doesn't own one
//but the idea of a bank robber trying to play Cop Car Frogger while SIRI cheats the wrong way by transmitting its "I AM LOST, FIND ME NOW" signal direct to the police dispatchers...

And if you physically go to a restaurant, order tomato soup, and pay with your credit card, and you are later implicated in a crime (I don't know, maybe they think you poisoned the silverware, some restaurants don't always wash those after every meal), THAT can be used against you too. If you pay in cash, the waiter who took your order can be called as a witness. So I guess the lesson is, never interact with the outside world, right?

This would be fine, if you were in the midst of stupid hijinks gone wrong after attempting to set up the murders of you and your friends' three shiatty bosses.

But otherwise, not so much.

"Is that rain I hear?"

"Ooo... let's have tomato soup delivered!"

Yes, you thoughtless, selfish biatch... let's make some other poor schlub go out in this god-awful weather, burning god knows how much expensive gas to get to you secluded little movie star house, just so you can have a BOWL OF TOMATO farkING SOUP IN YOUR PJS, YOU LAZY, VAPID WHORE!

/I hate that commercial.

"Your Honor, the accused stands accused of buggery, robbery, solicitation, and having bad taste in music."

"What evidence do you have to support these claims?"

"I have voice recordings from his mobile when he ordered a tomato bisque."

"Guilty!" *CLAP*

LivingDeadX1: Yes, you thoughtless, selfish biatch..

Uh, it's usually not the same price, and unless she is really awful the delivery dude will get a tip. I guess you'd prefer she grew her own tomatoes to save all the mexicans from getting skin cancer??

Plus she's made of sugar and will dissolve if she gets in the rain.

Bacontastesgood: Plus she's made of sugar and will dissolve if she gets in the rain.

Your theory has merit, sir.

Pants full of macaroni!!: Bacontastesgood: Plus she's made of sugar and will dissolve if she gets in the rain.

Your theory has merit, sir.

Ok, so I can use a super-soaker on her arms and legs, then she can't fight back.

Is IRIS just SIRI from the Mirror Universe, wearing a Van Dyke beard?

And does that mean it only does evil suggestions?

John Ringo covered all of this in his Legacy of Aldenata series, years ago. Go look it up. It's the whole continuing plotline involving military-grade artificial intelligence devices built into PDAs.

Science fiction is always ahead of the curve when it comes to the ethical implications of consumer technology.

B.L.Z. Bub: And if you physically go to a restaurant, order tomato soup, and pay with your credit card, and you are later implicated in a crime (I don't know, maybe they think you poisoned the silverware, some restaurants don't always wash those after every meal), THAT can be used against you too. If you pay in cash, the waiter who took your order can be called as a witness. So I guess the lesson is, never interact with the outside world, right?

Actually the iphone never really deletes anything, call logs, text messages, location servies, all can be retrieved.... And it has all been sent to apple.

I work for ATT and it happens all the time, which is why I would never use an Idevice.

theflatline: B.L.Z. Bub: And if you physically go to a restaurant, order tomato soup, and pay with your credit card, and you are later implicated in a crime (I don't know, maybe they think you poisoned the silverware, some restaurants don't always wash those after every meal), THAT can be used against you too. If you pay in cash, the waiter who took your order can be called as a witness. So I guess the lesson is, never interact with the outside world, right?

Actually the iphone never really deletes anything, call logs, text messages, location servies, all can be retrieved.... And it has all been sent to apple.

I work for ATT and it happens all the time, which is why I would never use an Idevice.

That information is also sent to your carrier, regardless of whether you use an iDevice. So again we come back to the conclusion that we must live in a cabin in the woods to be safe from "them" (whoever "they" are).

TheShavingofOccam123: You want to talk surprises? My hooker wasn't dead.

If only we had smartphones in the 1990s that guy who buried his pregnant underage girlfriend alive in Boston might have been convicted.

B.L.Z. Bub: And if you physically go to a restaurant, order tomato soup, and pay with your credit card, and you are later implicated in a crime (I don't know, maybe they think you poisoned the silverware, some restaurants don't always wash those after every meal), THAT can be used against you too. If you pay in cash, the waiter who took your order can be called as a witness. So I guess the lesson is, never interact with the outside world, right?

Especially since homemade tomato soup is the easiest damn thing in the world to make. Seriously, I can have several variations of tomato soup (tomato & dill, tomato & basil, tomato & roasted pepper) on the table in under 20 minutes. Assuming an even halfway decent pantry, no one should ever need to order out for tomato soup.

Condensed version:

Blah blah blah condescending crap blah blah event horizon blah blah I am a massive douche.

This is 'long' and has no pictures. If you're young, just skip it instead of complaining.

Let me just get this out of the way, before some would-be-clever youngun points out the obvious: I'm old. I remember the world before consumer electronics. That means I also know how to navigate a world without them, still. I'm no Luddite -- I love my gadgets and toys, and use them all the time. But I also appreciate that everything -- and I do mean *everything* -- comes with some downsides, and clever gadgets are no exception.

There was a lot you couldn't do with old rotary phones that you can do with modern phones (include most landline phones). BUT, only the phone company knew who called who and when, and was resistant to giving out that information. An inquiry to AT&T all but required an FBI investigation. Now the local cops just dial up Bob's Backyard Wireless and get the goods on you, without even a warrant. Or they can just look it up on your phone when they cuff you, accidentally on purpose. If you go back far enough, even the phone company didn't know who you called when, if it was local. I'm not saying that's better than now: I'm only pointing out the tradeoffs that come with all change.

I've heard too much about people getting hacked in various ways, and I'm not that clever with computers, so I've elected to forego things like digital wallets and password apps. It's more work and takes longer, yes, but no script kiddie can hack my brain or notebook. And it's frustrating sometimes, too: I don't let my browser remember anything, and some websites (such as my library's) are poorly-designed codeheaps that keep asking me to tell them who I am, 'cuz they keep forgetting. (And why is my library account number longer than my credit card number? Some web designers need a good dopeslap, if you ask me.)

I noted awhile back that my GPS keeps track of recent destinations. This can be very useful, if I'm going to the same places regularly. (From randomly different other places: I'd presumably learn regular routes, naturally.) Of course, I can also put regular destinations in 'Favorites'. I'm surprised I haven't seen this on one of the many popular corpse dramas yet. ("Where has she been?" - "Check the GPS for 'recent destinations'!" - [far-too-young 'investigator' takes off fabulous designer sunglasses and checks.. about two seconds, max] - "The Blue Oyster Bar!" - "Get in the Cockmobile! Let's go!")

It's occurred to me, more than a few times, that an atlas doesn't remember where I've been or what I've looked for. It's also harder to use and update. And it doesn't know as many roads, can't check traffic, and doesn't know where I am, so it can't help me if I don't know. And it can't talk to me while I drive. (There was a time when people tried to do that, though. Some still do. So modern gadgets aren't exactly a revolution in distraction, either.)

If you've read this tl;dr this far, then you might be wondering what my point is: Do I favour old-skul or newfangled? And the answer is: both. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. It's not about one being better than the other. It's about deciding what tool is best for the need, based on those relative points, and which serves you best over time, given all factors including cost and hassle.

I think one factor involved in this is the treatment of gadgets, especially costly ones, as toys: If you pay $800 for a smartphone, you want that phone to wine and dine you, maybe take you home and bed you, too. (Isn't there already an app and peripheral for this? If not, why not?) If you want to look something up on it, you want it to do it more than adequately: you want it to do it in some way that justifies what you spent on that facility. I can look up damn near anything on my Blackberry, but I paid much less for it than an equivalent iPhone would cost, so I don't expect it to entertain me and impress my friends along the way. The tradeoff is that it also has only a limited memory of what I've used it for, and I can usually erase that if I want to.

There's a valid case here also for user privacy, but I'm pretty sure that everything we use comes with 800-page EULAs wherein we agree to give up our DNA, firstborn, pound of flesh, and more. If entertainment and prestige is worth that to you, then you got what you asked for.

xaks: Is this where the android users pipe in with the "if you're stupid enough to overpay for an iphone, you deserve what you get" line?

'Cause I like that part.

/android user
//rooted galaxy s2
//farts in i-things general direction

Doesn't that only mean that Google has your info, instead of Apple?

Any Pie Left: Is IRIS just SIRI from the Mirror Universe, wearing a Van Dyke beard?

And does that mean it only does evil suggestions?

Your Aggonizer™ app, please.

wallywam1: Condensed version:

Blah blah blah condescending crap blah blah event horizon blah blah I am a massive douche.

FTFE

Okay what pisses me off about that bullshiat commercial is that she asks it for tomato soup and it suggests a bunch places that DELIVER!!! I can't even find one that SERVES tomato soup (hate the stuff anyways) -- much less deliver it!!!!

Minnesota Twins: Okay what pisses me off about that bullshiat commercial is that she asks it for tomato soup and it suggests a bunch places that DELIVER!!! I can't even find one that SERVES tomato soup (hate the stuff anyways) -- much less deliver it!!!!

But she can find one, because she's sooooo quirky.

GreenAdder:
But she can find one, because she's sooooo quirky.

Oh she can find tomato soup deliveries and an unlimited number of places to bury a body (why DOES my wife keep asking her that!) but she "does not understand" 99% of the time (such as when actually trying to find a place to eat -- I end up using my "Places" on my 3VO almost everytime)...