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   Police state that naked man eating another naked man's face is certainly a rare occurrence. "Other theories abounded, of course, sometimes leading to comparisons to one horror-movie staple, zombies"

28 May 2012 11:55 AM   |   5880 clicks   |   Miami Herald
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Lando Lincoln    [TotalFark]  
Well, obviously the zombie apocalypse has begun. Some Cuban zombies walked over to Miami and have started to feast on our flesh. Good luck to us all.

28 May 2012 09:54 AM
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Lone Stranger     
Lando Lincoln: Good luck to us all.

4.bp.blogspot.com

28 May 2012 11:59 AM
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PsychoLaurie     
Cocaine. It's a helluva drug.

Face-off, in the corner!!


/window seat.

28 May 2012 12:01 PM
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dj_spanmaster    [TotalFark]  
AND SO IT BEGINS

28 May 2012 12:04 PM
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LeroyBourne    [TotalFark]  
FTA: "It's one of the most gruesome things I've ever seen in my life in person," he told the station.

You think? Enjoy years and years of therapy.

28 May 2012 12:05 PM
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Brick-House     
I guess we need to start brushing up on these...

1. Cardio
2. The Double Tap
3. Beware of Bathrooms
4. Wear Seat Belts
5. No Attachments
6. The "Skillet"
7. Travel Light
8. Get a Kick Ass Partner
9. With your Bare Hands
10. Don't Swing Low
11. Use Your Foot
12. Bounty Paper Towels
13. Shake it Off
14. Always carry a change of underwear
15. Bowling Ball
16. Opportunity Knocks
17. Don't be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
18. Limber Up
19. Break it Up
20. It's a marathon, not a sprint, unless it's a sprint, then sprint
21. Avoid Strip Clubs
22. When in doubt Know your way out
23. Zipplock
24. Use your thumbs
25. Shoot First
26. A little sun screen never hurt anybody
27. Incoming!
28. Double-Knot your Shoes
29. The Buddy System
30. Pack your stain stick
31. Check the back seat
32. Enjoy the little things
33. Swiss army Knife

28 May 2012 12:06 PM
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detroitdoesntsuckthatbad     
What a coincidence - I'm heading to the pub right now. Not as cool as the Winchester but a safe place nonetheless.

28 May 2012 12:09 PM
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baronbloodbath    [TotalFark]  
I liked the last line...."This kind of crazy only happens in Florida."

So true.

28 May 2012 12:10 PM
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offmymeds     
Brick-House: I guess we need to start brushing up on these...

1. Cardio
2. The Double Tap


curiousinkling.com

I always follow the rules.

28 May 2012 12:12 PM
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Coelacanth    [TotalFark]  
i249.photobucket.com

28 May 2012 12:18 PM
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Tatterdemalian     
3.bp.blogspot.com

/they're trying to cover it up, but we know the TRUUUUUUUTH
//it's GOBLINS! we should be stocking up on double-decker bologna sandwiches, not guns and ammo!

28 May 2012 12:23 PM
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TheZorker     
Husk!

28 May 2012 12:26 PM
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chopit     
PsychoLaurie: Cocaine. It's a helluva drug.

Face-off, in the corner!!


/window seat.


Cocaine doesn't make you want to eat faces. Only pcp or plain old crazy can do that.

28 May 2012 12:30 PM
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Salmon     
He probably meant feces, not faces

28 May 2012 12:31 PM
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Saberus Terras    [TotalFark]  
I've got my .22 rifle at the door with my crowbar and bug-out bag ready. As soon as I lose internet access or run out of food, I'm rolling out.

28 May 2012 12:37 PM
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dfacto     
chopit: Cocaine doesn't make you want to eat faces. Only pcp or plain old crazy can do that.

Oh yeah, this has PCP written all over it.

Zombie PCP!

28 May 2012 12:38 PM
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Stinkyy     
Most horrific crime in recent memory. Demonic shiat right here. WTF is going on in this country...

28 May 2012 12:56 PM
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Saberus Terras    [TotalFark]  
Stinkyy: Most horrific crime in recent memory. Demonic shiat right here. WTF is going on in this country...

Zombie apocalypse.

28 May 2012 12:59 PM
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wippit     
3.bp.blogspot.com

28 May 2012 12:59 PM
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danielscissorhands     
If only the suspect had asked for a doggie bag, to go....

Then he could have saved face.

YEAAAAAAAAAH!

28 May 2012 01:03 PM
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Flaming Yawn     
Weeners: "Tell me again that we should call off the war on drugs."

Yeah, that's the first thing I thought of too. If only we had been spending more money on the war on drugs, this never would have happened.

But of course, the liberals want all those drugs legalized. Thank god I don't have any children.

/that talk to me

28 May 2012 01:04 PM
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danielscissorhands     
Also, from the article:

Sean Newell wrote on the popular sports blog, Deadspin: "This kind of crazy only happens in Florida."

Perhaps he has forgotten about another such incident...

news.bbc.co.uk

28 May 2012 01:06 PM
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Igor Jakovsky     
Stinkyy: Most horrific crime in recent memory. Demonic shiat right here. WTF is going on in this country...

The one I remember was even worse. A guy riding the bus decided it would be a good idea to cut the passenger in the seat next to him's head off and munch on it. At least the guy in Miami lived. BTW the incident I mentioned happened in Canada.

28 May 2012 01:09 PM
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danielscissorhands     
Igor Jakovsky: Stinkyy: Most horrific crime in recent memory. Demonic shiat right here. WTF is going on in this country...

The one I remember was even worse. A guy riding the bus decided it would be a good idea to cut the passenger in the seat next to him's head off and munch on it. At least the guy in Miami lived. BTW the incident I mentioned happened in Canada.


Yes, and the guy who did it just got out on a day pass.

He cut his head off because he thought he was an alien. He's a paranoid schizophrenic. But now he's on medication, and apparently a lot less crazy.

28 May 2012 01:11 PM
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LostInTO     
danielscissorhands: Igor Jakovsky: Stinkyy: Most horrific crime in recent memory. Demonic shiat right here. WTF is going on in this country...

The one I remember was even worse. A guy riding the bus decided it would be a good idea to cut the passenger in the seat next to him's head off and munch on it. At least the guy in Miami lived. BTW the incident I mentioned happened in Canada.

Yes, and the guy who did it just got out on a day pass.

He cut his head off because he thought he was an alien. He's a paranoid schizophrenic. But now he's on medication, and apparently a lot less crazy.


Yeah? You take the bus with him.

28 May 2012 01:14 PM
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Mister Peejay    [TotalFark]  
I think I swallowed a bug.

28 May 2012 01:19 PM
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A Terrible Human     
The big thing to take from that is them mentioning psychosis. Whether caused by drugs or just innate crazy psychosis is highly farked up and I guess leads you to eating a guy's face and growling at the people who tell you to get off.

/Still why was the other guy naked? It's obvious in the video I saw on the Daily Mail that Face Muncher and Face Munchee were both naked.

28 May 2012 01:21 PM
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danielscissorhands     
LostInTO: danielscissorhands: Igor Jakovsky: Stinkyy: Most horrific crime in recent memory. Demonic shiat right here. WTF is going on in this country...

The one I remember was even worse. A guy riding the bus decided it would be a good idea to cut the passenger in the seat next to him's head off and munch on it. At least the guy in Miami lived. BTW the incident I mentioned happened in Canada.

Yes, and the guy who did it just got out on a day pass.

He cut his head off because he thought he was an alien. He's a paranoid schizophrenic. But now he's on medication, and apparently a lot less crazy.

Yeah? You take the bus with him.


No, silly. I value my head.

I just read the news.

28 May 2012 01:23 PM
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Deacon Blue    [TotalFark]  
I've been getting ready for this day for two years. At last, it comes.

28 May 2012 01:25 PM
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danielscissorhands     
A Terrible Human: The big thing to take from that is them mentioning psychosis. Whether caused by drugs or just innate crazy psychosis is highly farked up and I guess leads you to eating a guy's face and growling at the people who tell you to get off.

/Still why was the other guy naked? It's obvious in the video I saw on the Daily Mail that Face Muncher and Face Munchee were both naked.


The obvious answer is that this was caused by gayness. If we don't stop the gays, they will eat our faces off. Gay marriage is merely a plot to de-face us.

28 May 2012 01:29 PM
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bluehubcap     
Stinkyy: Most horrific crime in recent memory. Demonic shiat right here. WTF is going on in this country...

I made the gross error of reading CNN while having lunch today. WTF IS going on in your country?

The justice page is filled with insanity. People microwaving babies, some lunatic skinned a dog alive, and people getting shot over a parking space (although...I can kinda understand that one, parking is really expensive here). Florida does not have the crazy market corner.

28 May 2012 01:43 PM
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GentlemanJ     
"Who's always last to know, who fills the air with cries, whose sanity is blasted, and then who usually dies?--the Victims, the Victims--TENTACLES!" From "A Shoggoth On The Roof."

28 May 2012 01:43 PM
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DicksWii     
I hope the victim in the hospital is under armed guard. And I hope those guards have the policy of shooting him in the head if he bites a nurse.

/and then shooting the nurse
//to be safe

28 May 2012 01:52 PM
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DORMAMU     
DicksWii: I hope the victim in the hospital is under armed guard. And I hope those guards have the policy of shooting him in the head if he bites a nurse.

/and then shooting the nurse
//to be safe


What if it is air born?

Ala t virus

28 May 2012 01:58 PM
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LostInTO     
DORMAMU: DicksWii: I hope the victim in the hospital is under armed guard. And I hope those guards have the policy of shooting him in the head if he bites a nurse.

/and then shooting the nurse
//to be safe

What if it is air born?

Ala t virus


Then shoot himself in the head.

28 May 2012 02:00 PM
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NutznGum     
Of all the possible disasters I think a zombie apocalypse would be the most fun. As long as you stay mobile and don't get cornered, it could be a lot of fun.

Beat 'em or burn 'em.

28 May 2012 02:01 PM
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Deep Contact     
Damn Zombies, the cop had to keep shooting till he got a head shot.

28 May 2012 02:04 PM
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danielscissorhands     
The only thing that could be worse than this is the remake of Day of the Dead.

28 May 2012 02:07 PM
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Tatterdemalian     
NutznGum: Of all the possible disasters I think a zombie apocalypse would be the most fun. As long as you stay mobile and don't get cornered, it could be a lot of fun.

Beat 'em or burn 'em.


It's not politically correct to say it, but preparing for a "zombie apocalypse" is a really good way to prepare for a disaster that has a much better chance of occurring without raising undue suspicion.

/it's called "civil war"
//and the only alternative to it will be an even worse disaster, "genocide," thanks to the authoritarian good intentions of leaders that will never stop voting to give themselves other peoples' money, even after it runs out

28 May 2012 02:17 PM
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Fark You I'm Drunk     
Tatterdemalian: NutznGum: Of all the possible disasters I think a zombie apocalypse would be the most fun. As long as you stay mobile and don't get cornered, it could be a lot of fun.

Beat 'em or burn 'em.

It's not politically correct to say it, but preparing for a "zombie apocalypse" is a really good way to prepare for a disaster that has a much better chance of occurring without raising undue suspicion.

/it's called "civil war"
//and the only alternative to it will be an even worse disaster, "genocide," thanks to the authoritarian good intentions of leaders that will never stop voting to give themselves other peoples' money, even after it runs out


You forgot to mention the impending Race War.

28 May 2012 02:34 PM
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Coelacanth    [TotalFark]  
Tatterdemalian: It's not politically correct to say it, but preparing for a "zombie apocalypse" is a really good way to prepare for a disaster that has a much better chance of occurring without raising undue suspicion.

The 'Zombie Plan' is probably the best thing to have come out of this zombie nonsense.

28 May 2012 02:34 PM
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Amos Quito     
dfacto: chopit: Cocaine doesn't make you want to eat faces. Only pcp or plain old crazy can do that.

Oh yeah, this has PCP written all over it.

Zombie PCP
!



www.debbieschlussel.com


/Hope the face-eating guy was white
//Zombie riots!
///OM NOM NOM!!!

28 May 2012 02:47 PM
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trendkill     
29.media.tumblr.com

28 May 2012 02:56 PM
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Mister Peejay    [TotalFark]  
NutznGum: Of all the possible disasters I think a zombie apocalypse would be the most fun. As long as you stay mobile and don't get cornered, it could be a lot of fun.


Yuri thinks so.

(Read the mouseover text)

28 May 2012 03:05 PM
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studebaker hoch     
Eating someone's face isn't normal.

But on meth it is.

28 May 2012 03:05 PM
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offmymeds     
i1136.photobucket.com

"Yeah, they're dead. They're all messed up."

28 May 2012 03:16 PM
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OtherLittleGuy    [TotalFark]  
I call dibs!

newsmanone.files.wordpress.com

/Lori can Die In Hershel's Barn

28 May 2012 03:17 PM
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Confusean     
3.bp.blogspot.com

28 May 2012 03:29 PM
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Tatterdemalian     
Amos Quito: Hope the face-eating guy was white

The "daddy ate my eyes" guy was a white hispanic.

/or will be after NBC rewrites the article

28 May 2012 03:41 PM
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gerbilpox     
Wait, the victim was naked too? Maybe this was consensual, like that S&M pair in Germany.

img26.imageshack.us

28 May 2012 03:46 PM
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