Mmm... steak.

99 bottles of beef in the ranch, 99 bottles of beef...

no bull

He's got 99 problems...

Several calves were pulled out of the 120-year-old barn, but they all ran back inside and died with the rest of the herd, firefighters said.


That's terrible and sad. Unlike the headline was kind of a groan followed by obligatory applause.

reillan: He's got 99 problems...

But a heifer ain't one?

What's the best thing about having sex with 99 cows? There's 90 of 'em!

He best steer clear of any potential bullshiat in the future. Otherwise he'll have a heifer of a problem.

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: What's the best thing about having sex with 99 cows? There's 90 of 'em!

More like grounded them up, amirite?

Some people take their Memorial Day barbecue just too far.

OMG news from mah home town, on the Fark! Nice to see the Wainfleet foundation savers still living up to their name.

As always top notch fire reporting from the folks in Buffalo.

Came for the Jay-Z reference; leaving happy.

your dog wants...

♫ do.do-do doo♫ ♫do.do-do do-dooooo♫

wxboy: reillan: He's got 99 problems...

But a heifer ain't one?

Unless he was raising dogs too, the original lyric works just fine.

Typical community barbeque in Texas.

Mrs. O'Leary's Cow was spotted leaving the scene.

Overcooked them. Typical. Let me guess: did he serve them with a Bloomin' Onion and Caesar salad?

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: What's the best thing about having sex with 99 cows? There's 90 of 'em!

That doesn't really work. You'd have to add some words in to make the statement flow.

I'll happily asist with the clean up. I need ketchup, raw onions, and tub of potato salad.

Down south, this is what we call a Bar-B-Que!

"No injuries were reported."

And they were never herd from again.

Last line FTA. - No injuries were reported.

/I suspect the cows would disagree with that.

It was a devastating loss because he had a lot at steak. Among the rubble were many rib, eyes.

Pud: Last line FTA. - No injuries were reported.

/I suspect the cows would disagree with that.

Yeah came to say that, thinking all the cows that were burned to death might feel differently about that.

Where there's fire, there's smoke!

fire became so intense it melted a nearby hydroelectric line

WTF is a hydroelectric line? and wouldn't it be continually shorting out?

_{yes they probably mean electricity generated by a water driven turbine but it's a really stupid way to say it.}

Curious: fire became so intense it melted a nearby hydroelectric line

WTF is a hydroelectric line? and wouldn't it be continually shorting out?

yes they probably mean electricity generated by a water driven turbine but it's a really stupid way to say it.

I've noticed that Canadians often tend to refer to all electricity as "hydro," regardless of its method of generation.

Doc Daneeka: I've noticed that Canadians often tend to refer to all electricity as "hydro," regardless of its method of generation.

You can have my bagged milk but you'll never take my Hyrdo.

In a perfect world a tanker of A1 sauce would crash into the fire.

Damn, where's John Marston when you need him?



/Yes, he was saving horses, of courses.
//Still the first thing that popped into mind.

you know this had to smell better than the 500k chickens that went up in flames last week.

Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
Run cows run!

headline was lame

Any TFers want to post some of the likely better headlines that were not greened?

That's not what I herd.

Pud: Last line FTA. - No injuries were reported.

/I suspect the cows would disagree with that.

Oh, no. You're not hurting if you're dead.

singed nearby plants and bushes

OH, THE SHRUBBERY!

How think ye? if a man have an hundred cows, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?

And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that cow, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray.

/obscure?

FTA: Raw milk stored in the barn was also destroyed in the fire.


You sure it was still raw? Over-pasteurized perhaps, but probably not raw.

"Several calves were pulled out of the 120-year-old barn, but they all ran back inside and died with the rest of the herd, firefighters said. "

I initially felt really sad after reading that sentence, then I started to think that the large cows probably saw the calves being lead out and were too dumb to follow. Are cows terminally stupid or Is that a wrong assumption?

Skr: Are cows terminally stupid or Is that a wrong assumption?

Yes, they are.

I would blame THE BUFFALO NEWS!!!!

DIAF is no way to go, but slitting their throats are not either. I wish this upon no one. There has been far too many farms in my area that have sold out, closed down etc... in the past 20 years. It is sad to see what they were once replaced with. WalMarts and Low Cost beautiful homes for assholes that live in Jersey or NYC. All my neighbors are assholes.
Sorry for the rant.

Skr: Are cows terminally stupid or Is that a wrong assumption?

Probably the only farm animal dumber than a cow is a sheep. Perhaps a chicken, although chickens can be hypnotized which leads one to believe that there is some kind of a mind there. The same cannot be said of either the bovine or ovine species.

Mr. Right: Skr: Are cows terminally stupid or Is that a wrong assumption?

Probably the only farm animal dumber than a cow is a sheep. Perhaps a chicken, although chickens can be hypnotized which leads one to believe that there is some kind of a mind there. The same cannot be said of either the bovine or ovine species.

Which was kind of the goal with domestication. I don't think you would want to deal with wild aurochs (if they still existed).

I hate to admit but all I can think about is what a waste it would be to just bulldoze all those charred bodies or haul them off to a rendering plant. Assuming there remained some edible carcasses, would it be wrong to let people salvage what they could?

/I'll bring the horseradish . . .

Mr. Right: Probably the only farm animal dumber than a cow is a sheep.

Turkey. Definitely Turkeys

Harry_Seldon: Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
Run cows run!

12 burning Mcdonalds.
Have it your way.

CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!

Bravo, subby. Bravo.