His family was so proud of him being the first bear to graduate from Elementary School, they got him a bouncy bag for the party.

I read that headline in Mark Wahlberg's voice.

Not even if his intelligence significantly exceeds what one would expect from a typical member of his species?

I WANNA BE A BEAR!

So there's a twink bias?

Wait, bears can't graduate? Mike Birbiglia will not be pleased. :)

You can't be a bear

Who graduate from elementary school? Bear graduate from elementary school? How can that be?

"Followed the Kern River into town"

This is why you don't let rivers into your town. They hang with a bad element.

Oh bother.

Arkanaut: Who graduate from elementary school? Bear graduate from elementary school? How can that be?

EVERYBODY DISCO DANCING

You're not a bear. You're just a silly man who needs a shave and wears a fur coat

Before taking a detour thru the school the bear was spotted by these individuals the previous night

error 303: Arkanaut: Who graduate from elementary school? Bear graduate from elementary school? How can that be?

EVERYBODY DISCO DANCING IS KUNG FOO FIGHTING

Even bears know that elementary school graduations are stupid.

Did you die before reaching eleven years of age? No? Congratulations, here's your diploma.

For chrissakes.

We celebrate "graduating" from elementary school? You know, if we are going to treat every single mundane life event as a way to artificially boost kids' selves esteem, the meaning of important events becomes diluted.

If everything is special, then nothing is special.

He was just trying to prove that he is smarter than the average bear.

Party Pat?

/you BEARS gotta get OUTTA here! Or you're all gonna be melted BY LAVA!

error 303: Arkanaut: Who graduate from elementary school? Bear graduate from elementary school? How can that be?

EVERYBODY DISCO DANCING

Korean animation studio....Everybody work, everbody work...we are slaves...

AverageAmericanGuy: For chrissakes.

We celebrate "graduating" from elementary school? You know, if we are going to treat every single mundane life event as a way to artificially boost kids' selves esteem, the meaning of important events becomes diluted.

If everything is special, then nothing is special.


"It's psychotic!"

Bear: a way to make fat sissys feel accepted.

Don't mind me. Just thought I'd congratulate the young graduates, and drop off a phone number or two for my Summer FunBear Kid's Club!

"Within minutes, officers cornered the animal at an apartment complex, hit it with a stun gun, and loaded it into a truck."

I've had to deal without a lot of bears in my line of work, but I'd never get close enough to beat it to death with a stun gun. That takes some serious balls.

Sybarite: Not even if his intelligence significantly exceeds what one would expect from a typical member of his species?

I think this bear made a significant Boo Boo.

"Bear is graduating? How can that be?"

/next it will be driving...

I do not mind feeding and educating bears, but I will be darned if I let them marry!

maybe he was ...

Hey wait a minute!

We're here! We're queer! We don't want any more bears!

BigLuca: AverageAmericanGuy: For chrissakes.

We celebrate "graduating" from elementary school? You know, if we are going to treat every single mundane life event as a way to artificially boost kids' selves esteem, the meaning of important events becomes diluted.

If everything is special, then nothing is special.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x223]
"It's psychotic!"

FACT: The Incredibles is the best of the Pixar movies.
FACT: This is in spite of the fact that Craig Nelson is a dumbass douche. Good actor, though.
FACT: It's awfully Randian.
FACT: It's still awesome.
FACT: The Randian stuff does kinda have a point about how we shouldn't award mediocrity.
FACT: Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Wellon Dowd: Even bears know that elementary school graduations are stupid.

Did you die before reaching eleven years of age? No? Congratulations, here's your diploma.

Most of those kinds or rituals aren't exactly difficult to achieve in the slightest. The purpose is usually just to recognize the boundary between two stages of life.

So, it's not a "wow, look how awesome you are" kind of thing, it's a "you're life in changing, let's celebrate that" thing.

You could argue that there's not really a hell of a lot of difference between elementary school and middle school, but somewhere in there I think quite a biatchanges, in terms of how social interactions work and also in how much responsibility is put on the students.

Son of a biatchanges

AverageAmericanGuy: For chrissakes.

We celebrate "graduating" from elementary school? You know, if we are going to treat every single mundane life event as a way to artificially boost kids' selves esteem, the meaning of important events becomes diluted.

If everything is special, then nothing is special.

Have to disagree. When kids are about to switch schools (a little bit scary and exciting) it's a good idea to honor that change. No caps and gowns, but a little ceremony acknowledging the kids are leaving a place they've been for the last 6-7 years is cool. They've been going to that school for half their life.

Self-esteem doesn't factor into this, acknowledging a milestone in their life does.

/hot

Wellon Dowd: Even bears know that elementary school graduations are stupid.

Did you die before reaching eleven years of age? No? Congratulations, here's your diploma.

You would be an excellent parent.

probesport: Wellon Dowd: Even bears know that elementary school graduations are stupid.

Did you die before reaching eleven years of age? No? Congratulations, here's your diploma.

You would be an excellent parent.

Thanks! I'll tell my two kids you said so.

If it had been a polar bear they wouldn't have tazed it.

Web Redemption: If it had been a polar bear they wouldn't have tazed it.

If it was a bipolar bear they would have put it on Paxil.

LaraAmber: AverageAmericanGuy: For chrissakes.

We celebrate "graduating" from elementary school? You know, if we are going to treat every single mundane life event as a way to artificially boost kids' selves esteem, the meaning of important events becomes diluted.

If everything is special, then nothing is special.

Have to disagree. When kids are about to switch schools (a little bit scary and exciting) it's a good idea to honor that change. No caps and gowns, but a little ceremony acknowledging the kids are leaving a place they've been for the last 6-7 years is cool. They've been going to that school for half their life.

Self-esteem doesn't factor into this, acknowledging a milestone in their life does.

Milestone? I'd call it doing something that's expected of everyone. It's not special to do it, but you sure are a farkup if you don't.

/off my lawn

probesport: Wellon Dowd: Even bears know that elementary school graduations are stupid.

Did you die before reaching eleven years of age? No? Congratulations, here's your diploma.

You would be an excellent parent.

And for saying so, you would be an excellent elementary school teacher.


A few years back, my wife and I were out to dinner with friends, of whom the lady was a teacher. She said her school was going to make it 'against policy' to allow a child to go home in the car with a parent who was smoking.

I told her if that happened I was going to get my wife pregnant that very night. And later take up smoking. And on the first day of first grade six years later I would show up to pick up my child from school while smoking a huge fat stogie. If they refused to give me my child, I would take a small puppy that I had rescued from the pound, and blow smoke in its face while in the car until they gave me my child. Then I would call the police and report a kidnapping.

I guess I should check if that policy ever got implemented.

Carn:

Milestone? I'd call it doing something that's expected of everyone. It's not special to do it, but you sure are a farkup if you don't.

So is turning 18, losing your first tooth, getting your first period (if female), and a dozen other things. I think you might need to look up the definition of milestone. It means "a significant point of development" not "a difficult accomplishment".

LaraAmber: Carn:

Milestone? I'd call it doing something that's expected of everyone. It's not special to do it, but you sure are a farkup if you don't.

So is turning 18, losing your first tooth, getting your first period (if female), and a dozen other things. I think you might need to look up the definition of milestone. It means "a significant point of development" not "a difficult accomplishment".

Sorry, I still disagree. Calling "graduating" from elementary significant is very snowflake-esque.

brap: I WANNA BE A BEAR!

That child is pure evil.

/i'm a little dizzy too

spentmiles: "Within minutes, officers cornered the animal at an apartment complex, hit it with a stun gun, and loaded it into a truck."

I've had to deal without a lot of bears in my line of work, but I'd never get close enough to beat it to death with a stun gun. That takes some serious balls.

So they pistol whipped it?

A cub scout. The rest of the den is navigating the Kern River.

Before clicking "there had better be a farking pedobear picture in this thread".