I pooped myself.

I want you inside me.

It's a big farking deal.

"Karl, he looks a lot different without Cheney's arm up his ass."

"I'm surprised they let him play with anything other than crayons and watercolors. Did he get an extra cookie and a glass of Buckler for staying inside the lines?"

SilentStrider: How did you find time for this with all the appearances on The Colbert Report you do?

enabling voting.

Biatch please, I will slap the white right off you! (Because I truly think JoeB is Gangsta!)

Biden: "You're welcome, Karl."

Rove: "For what?"

Biden: "Soon, you may be able to marry legally."

He really does look like a minkey. Minkey? I meant money. Manky. MOINKEY! Dammit, nevermind.

Payback's a motherfarkin biatch

"Barack said you weren't that fat in person. I bet him a ham. I'm gonna f*cking enjoy that ham."

'Your shoe's untied"

/now with voting goodness.

Penis goes where?

Wanna gay marry?

"Wanna go spend some ObamaCare money on hookers and blow?"

I loved you in Krull!


/damn clicking for voting

Karl, this is the groom's side

"You think that's badass? You should see my Camaro"

"We still can't get your stains out of the presidential bedroom. Don't even get me started on what Cheney did."

"Karl. Hey. Psst, Karl. Check out the ass on that one."
"Joe, that's a podium."

"so was your dad a top or a bottom?"

"In about three seconds, you're going to find out what I had for lunch. Enjoy!"

I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours.

Who the hell invited you? Security!

"So..... your saying use my left hand instead? Will it really feel like someone else?"

"You can call me Joe and I'll call you Turd."

Go ahead, kick the back of my seat one more time, motherfarker.

Tonight. You.

"Wow, you really do look like a piece of shiat."

"How's it hangin', cheesedick?

We still can't get your stink out of this place.

Later tonight I'm gonna Plame your wife's vajayjay.

How do my new plugs look?

You up for quail hunting this weekend?

"And Karl turns to me and is like, 'I'm not actually a ham. Stop licking your lips,' and so I says to the guy..."

"Joe, we had this discussion two minutes ago."

How did you talk the painter out of not showing you with your hand up Bush's ass?

Who's the ugly farker in the painting?

If you had a son, he would look like Don Martin.

We all know Cheney was the man doing the work, but we couldn't very well put a picture of Darth Vader up on the walls without somebody saying we downloaded somebody else's fan art.

Hey, turd blossom's here!

What is a turd blossom, anyway?

"Yeah, bath salts..... No, different than those, but trust me, its what the kids are into, I'll hook you up after."

"With my little eye, I spy..."

It ain't nothin' for me to whip a man's ass, so just watch that mouth, geek.

"I farked your wife."

"Pssst...check it out Karl, I swapped the real painting for one of a guy looting Heinekens. Watch W's face when they uncover it, it is gonna be awesome!"

something that Neil Kinnock said first?

If you kick my chair again, I'll kick your ass.

Biden: If you think you can beat my Trans-Am, then why not race for pink slips?

Twice? Twice you got this guy elected POTUS? You must be Satan himself.