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   Commerce Secretary John Bryson charged with trying to increase commerce for car repair shops

11 Jun 2012 09:45 AM   |   5337 clicks   |   CNN
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flucto    [TotalFark]  
This is good news for Obama.

11 Jun 2012 08:49 AM
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SlothB77    [TotalFark]  
... and california defense lawyers.

Why was he unconscious when they found him - drugs and/ or alcohol; accident-related injuries; or did he just pass out/ fall asleep?

11 Jun 2012 08:50 AM
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Angry Drunk Bureaucrat    [TotalFark]  
SlothB77: ... and california defense lawyers.

Why was he unconscious when they found him - drugs and/ or alcohol; accident-related injuries; or did he just pass out/ fall asleep?


Clearly he was drugged by ACORN thugs to prevent him from exposing 0bama's gay lover.

11 Jun 2012 08:55 AM
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Roook    [TotalFark]  
Could be a medical condition. Alcohol test came up clean. But hard to imagine someone doing all this without something going on. It was probably pills. Ambien or Ativan

11 Jun 2012 08:55 AM
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Cythraul    [TotalFark]  
SlothB77: ... and california defense lawyers.

Why was he unconscious when they found him - drugs and/ or alcohol; accident-related injuries; or did he just pass out/ fall asleep?


I'm guessing alcohol was involved.

11 Jun 2012 08:55 AM
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vpb    [TotalFark]  
It almost sounds like he had a stroke, or maybe some sort of drug interaction. Just because he didn't have alcohol in his system doesn't mean it wasn't some prescription medicine.

11 Jun 2012 09:34 AM
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cman    [TotalFark]  
HOPE AND CHANGE
BUT DONT YOU DARE CALL THEM RACIST
BOTH SIDES ARE BA, SO SAY fark IT AND STAY HOME ELECTION DAY

11 Jun 2012 09:43 AM
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cman    [TotalFark]  
cman: HOPE AND CHANGE
BUT DONT YOU DARE CALL THEM RACIST
BOTH SIDES ARE BAD, SO SAY fark IT AND STAY HOME ELECTION DAY


fixt

Damn iPad

11 Jun 2012 09:44 AM
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I_C_Weener    [TotalFark]  
If it were a stroke or seizure the cops would have beaten him I to submission, denied medical care, apologized and sent him on his way. That leaves only controlled substances or aliens. Or maybe the Bilderberg group.

11 Jun 2012 09:46 AM
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WTF Indeed     
I guess someone spiked the Obama Kool-Aid.

11 Jun 2012 09:46 AM
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TravisBickle62     
Bet you $5 he had a stroke

11 Jun 2012 09:47 AM
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HotWingConspiracy     
He had a seizure.

This is clearly the end of Obama.

11 Jun 2012 09:49 AM
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Satanic_Hamster    [TotalFark]  
TravisBickle62: Bet you $5 he had a stroke

From the update at the top of the article page:
U.S. Commerce Secretary John Bryson, who police say caused two traffic accidents, suffered a seizure, his agency says.

11 Jun 2012 09:49 AM
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ringersol     
TravisBickle62: "Bet you $5 he had a stroke"

This.

11 Jun 2012 09:50 AM
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inglixthemad     
Appropriate use of a tag to describe a story linked by fark? Unpossible!

11 Jun 2012 09:51 AM
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wambu    [TotalFark]  
TravisBickle62: Bet you $5 he had a stroke

California is a long par five, so on in one is very impressive.

11 Jun 2012 09:51 AM
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TravisBickle62     
But was it a Muslim seizure?

11 Jun 2012 09:51 AM
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spentmiles     
I'm no lawyer, but this looks like a clear cut case of illegal search and seizure.

11 Jun 2012 09:52 AM
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JerseyTim    [TotalFark]  
Somewhere Darrell Issa has a boner.

11 Jun 2012 09:53 AM
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chimp_ninja     
CNN now has a 'breaking news' banner that they claim he suffered a seizure. It's not clear to me why that would cause two traffic accidents. I am confused.

11 Jun 2012 09:54 AM
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Nasty_McFilth     
Cythraul: SlothB77: ... and california defense lawyers.

Why was he unconscious when they found him - drugs and/ or alcohol; accident-related injuries; or did he just pass out/ fall asleep?

I'm guessing alcohol was involved.


I'm guessing you didn't RTFA.

11 Jun 2012 09:54 AM
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TravisBickle62     
chimp_ninja: CNN now has a 'breaking news' banner that they claim he suffered a seizure. It's not clear to me why that would cause two traffic accidents. I am confused.

When an old dude's brain gets farked up he doesn't immediately realize it so he may go on his way for a while with a farked up brain.

11 Jun 2012 09:55 AM
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HotWingConspiracy     
chimp_ninja: CNN now has a 'breaking news' banner that they claim he suffered a seizure. It's not clear to me why that would cause two traffic accidents. I am confused.

seizure ---> crash ---> leave scene in confused post seizure state ---> crash again

11 Jun 2012 09:55 AM
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furterfan     
spentmiles: I'm no lawyer,

but do you play one, on TV?

11 Jun 2012 09:56 AM
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Alonjar     
... and here I thought they were going to talk about state required "safety" inspections which are just a giant scam for the repair industry. "Your car is still under warranty? OK.. the alignment of your headlights are off, you need a headlight adjustment. Give us $100 or the police will punish you for us."

fark the commonwealth of Virginia so hard.

11 Jun 2012 09:56 AM
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Yellow Beard     
Satanic_Hamster: TravisBickle62: Bet you $5 he had a stroke

From the update at the top of the article page:
U.S. Commerce Secretary John Bryson, who police say caused two traffic accidents, suffered a seizure, his agency says.


It's called a seizure when you are rich and connected. For regular folks it's called DUI.

11 Jun 2012 09:56 AM
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TravisBickle62     
Bath salts! omg1 mUSLI1M BATH SALTS!

11 Jun 2012 09:57 AM
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rufus-t-firefly     
JerseyTim: Somewhere Darrell Issa has a boner.

Why? Are car alarm sales going up as a result of this?

11 Jun 2012 09:58 AM
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Cythraul    [TotalFark]  
Nasty_McFilth: Cythraul: SlothB77: ... and california defense lawyers.

Why was he unconscious when they found him - drugs and/ or alcohol; accident-related injuries; or did he just pass out/ fall asleep?

I'm guessing alcohol was involved.

I'm guessing you didn't RTFA.


What part of the word 'guessing' didn't you understand?

11 Jun 2012 09:58 AM
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Galloping Galoshes     
Satanic_Hamster: suffered a seizure, his agency says.

Pretty good long-distance diagnosis. Of course, since everything is commerce, I'm sure the Dept of Commerce is fully staffed by medical experts.

Two accidents? And after the first, he stopped and talked with the folks in the other car? "Sorry, I was having a seizure. Gotta go now. I have to get to another accident."

11 Jun 2012 09:59 AM
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rufus-t-firefly     
TravisBickle62: chimp_ninja: CNN now has a 'breaking news' banner that they claim he suffered a seizure. It's not clear to me why that would cause two traffic accidents. I am confused.

When an old dude's brain gets farked up he doesn't immediately realize it so he may go on his way for a while with a farked up brain.


Nah, the tag says "DUMBASS" so let's just go with that and move on. It's easier to laugh than feel empathy.

11 Jun 2012 09:59 AM
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cig-mkr     
Non-event, this will go away, swept under the rug, disappear. Official report will say a "mild seizure"

11 Jun 2012 10:00 AM
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HotWingConspiracy     
cig-mkr: Non-event, this will go away, swept under the rug, disappear

Yeah they're doing a bang up job with this cover up. CNN front page should be able to be scrubbed, right?

11 Jun 2012 10:02 AM
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Galloping Galoshes     
Here's my two-handed prediction:
On the one hand, this guy steps down to "take care of his health."
On the other, the Democratic machine in California gets the charges quashed.
Bonus third option, all of the the above.

11 Jun 2012 10:02 AM
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Galloping Galoshes     
"Economy, Obama Commerce Secretary suffer seizures, multiple crashes."

11 Jun 2012 10:04 AM
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Crackers Are a Family Food     
He had a seizure.

Pretty obvious, though.

11 Jun 2012 10:05 AM
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ladyfortuna     
Galloping Galoshes: Satanic_Hamster: suffered a seizure, his agency says.

Pretty good long-distance diagnosis. Of course, since everything is commerce, I'm sure the Dept of Commerce is fully staffed by medical experts.

Two accidents? And after the first, he stopped and talked with the folks in the other car? "Sorry, I was having a seizure. Gotta go now. I have to get to another accident."


"The official, who spoke to CNN on condition of not being identified, said Bryson was given medication to treat the seizure."

As I understand it, someone who's just had a seizure can be mightily confused for a bit afterwords. IINAD of course, but just because he talked to them doesn't mean he made any real sense, and if he had a couple of seizures in a short time it could explain a lot. I used to work with a guy who was epileptic and he told me some stories about it. He technically wasn't supposed to drive either, but he'd had surgery and no seizures for a while and needed to be able to get to work.

I call it plausible with a chance of bullshiat.

11 Jun 2012 10:05 AM
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tommyl66     
He shoulda gone for a walk in the woods instead...

11 Jun 2012 10:05 AM
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Galloping Galoshes     
cig-mkr: Non-event, this will go away, swept under the rug, disappear. Official report will say a "mild seizure"

No, it will turn out that Bryson has no health insurance, will be saved by Obamacare. Win-win all around.

11 Jun 2012 10:06 AM
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Arkanaut     
Galloping Galoshes: Satanic_Hamster: suffered a seizure, his agency says.

Pretty good long-distance diagnosis. Of course, since everything is commerce, I'm sure the Dept of Commerce is fully staffed by medical experts.

Two accidents? And after the first, he stopped and talked with the folks in the other car? "Sorry, I was having a seizure. Gotta go now. I have to get to another accident."


Yeah seriously. If you're having a seizure and just caused a car accident, why don't you just call 911 and get yourself in an ambulance?

11 Jun 2012 10:06 AM
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KimNorth     
Bath salts??

11 Jun 2012 10:07 AM
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Serious Black     
ladyfortuna: Galloping Galoshes: Satanic_Hamster: suffered a seizure, his agency says.

Pretty good long-distance diagnosis. Of course, since everything is commerce, I'm sure the Dept of Commerce is fully staffed by medical experts.

Two accidents? And after the first, he stopped and talked with the folks in the other car? "Sorry, I was having a seizure. Gotta go now. I have to get to another accident."

"The official, who spoke to CNN on condition of not being identified, said Bryson was given medication to treat the seizure."

As I understand it, someone who's just had a seizure can be mightily confused for a bit afterwords. IINAD of course, but just because he talked to them doesn't mean he made any real sense, and if he had a couple of seizures in a short time it could explain a lot. I used to work with a guy who was epileptic and he told me some stories about it. He technically wasn't supposed to drive either, but he'd had surgery and no seizures for a while and needed to be able to get to work.

I call it plausible with a chance of bullshiat.


Liberal POV: about 75% chance he had a seizure, about 25% chance he was drunk or high.
Conservative POV: 1023479012834719237840% chance he was drunk and high, no chance it was a legitimate medical condition.

11 Jun 2012 10:08 AM
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Trance750    [TotalFark]  
Cythraul: SlothB77: ... and california defense lawyers.

Why was he unconscious when they found him - drugs and/ or alcohol; accident-related injuries; or did he just pass out/ fall asleep?

I'm guessing alcohol was involved.


TFA said he wasen't under the influence. I'm guessing a medical condition or something of that sort.

11 Jun 2012 10:08 AM
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vudukungfu     
Anyone else reminded of the lead in to WKRP when the news VO says," And while the senator insisted he hadn't been drinking, he still couldn't explain his nudity:"?

11 Jun 2012 10:09 AM
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BladBoy    [TotalFark]  
Cythraul: SlothB77: ... and california defense lawyers.

Why was he unconscious when they found him - drugs and/ or alcohol; accident-related injuries; or did he just pass out/ fall asleep?

I'm guessing alcohol was involved.


I'm going with 80% odds of crunk!

11 Jun 2012 10:09 AM
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Galloping Galoshes     
ladyfortuna: I call it plausible with a chance of bullshiat.

You have an amusing profile, so you must be right. You really should get out of NY more often, though.

Clearly something was wrong. The speed of the diagnosis implies that this was a known but unpublicized condition. Not gonna be a secret anymore. Also, questions about his judgement will be raised.

11 Jun 2012 10:12 AM
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Philip Francis Queeg     
Arkanaut: Galloping Galoshes: Satanic_Hamster: suffered a seizure, his agency says.

Pretty good long-distance diagnosis. Of course, since everything is commerce, I'm sure the Dept of Commerce is fully staffed by medical experts.

Two accidents? And after the first, he stopped and talked with the folks in the other car? "Sorry, I was having a seizure. Gotta go now. I have to get to another accident."

Yeah seriously. If you're having a seizure and just caused a car accident, why don't you just call 911 and get yourself in an ambulance?


Your brain really isn't working right during and after a seizure. It's not like the seizure ends and you are 100% immediately. I know someone who has had seizures and it can be a day or two before they are really fully back to normal.

11 Jun 2012 10:13 AM
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NeoCortex42    [TotalFark]  
Watching the Fox News coverage of it this morning was interesting. First it was "Obama cabinet member commits hit and run" with a picture of him standing next to Obama. As soon as the news broke that it was the result of a seizure, all mention of Obama's name during the story suddenly disappeared.

11 Jun 2012 10:16 AM
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Galloping Galoshes     
Serious Black: Liberal POV: about 75% chance he had a seizure, about 25% chance he was drunk or high.
Conservative POV: 1023479012834719237840% chance he was drunk and high, no chance it was a legitimate medical condition.


You caught me. I am 100+% sure it was drugs or alcohol. Actually, both. And his was the hand behind Obama's forged birth certificate, he flies a black helicopter, he's a demolition expert and was seen in the Twin Towers on 9/11, and (geez, I'm running out of conspiracies).

Not enough information available to make a judgement. If it was a known medical condition, there will be questions about his judgement. Particularly since he's a CABINET SECRETARY and has a driver available.

11 Jun 2012 10:18 AM
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Galloping Galoshes     
NeoCortex42: Watching the Fox News coverage of it this morning was interesting. First it was "Obama cabinet member commits hit and run" with a picture of him standing next to Obama. As soon as the news broke that it was the result of a seizure, all mention of Obama's name during the story suddenly disappeared.

Not surprising. Probably the reverse for MSNBC.

11 Jun 2012 10:19 AM
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