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   Al Qaeda in Somalia has offered a bounty for President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton - 10 camels for Obama and 20 chickens for Clinton. No word on how many goats V.P. Biden is worth

11 Jun 2012 12:52 PM   |   4351 clicks   |   ABC
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chimp_ninja     
Good to see the bad guys are needing to take some austerity measures as well.

You'd think they'd have a little room on the FY12 spreadsheets, what with all the unanticipated "Predator-based pension deobligations" in the last few years.

"There is nothing new in the fact that infidels pay to have Muslim leaders killed," said Khalaf. "They already did that by offering camels for the head of Prophet Mohammed, and $5 million is equivalent to 200 camels today."

Wait. Camels cost $25,000 each?

upload.wikimedia.org

Do they know they could buy actual vehicles for less? A 2012 Ford Ranger's MSRP is $18,160, so you have about $7,000 left for gas. Plus, it's like getting that two-wheeled wooden cart for free.

11 Jun 2012 11:33 AM
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Somacandra    [TotalFark]  
DAMMIT SALAH I SAID NO CAMELS THAT'S FIVE CAMELS CAN'T YOU COUNT?!?!?!

11 Jun 2012 12:08 PM
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Somacandra    [TotalFark]  
FTFA: Anyone who helps the Mujahideen find the whereabouts of Obama and Hillary Clinton will be rewarded with...10 cocks for Hillary

i.imgur.com

11 Jun 2012 12:13 PM
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violentsalvation    [TotalFark]  
Somacandra: DAMMIT SALAH I SAID NO CAMELS THAT'S FIVE CAMELS CAN'T YOU COUNT?!?!?!

Compensation for my brother-in-law's carbomb.

11 Jun 2012 12:20 PM
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RibbyK     
Two cocks.

11 Jun 2012 12:52 PM
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Prank Call of Cthulhu     
"10 Cocks for Hillary" would be a great band name. Or a porno title.

11 Jun 2012 12:55 PM
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MonkeyAngst     
They do realize that the whereabouts of these two individuals are usually made pretty public, right? Maybe less so for Clinton, but Obama's itinerary is usually pretty well-known.

11 Jun 2012 12:56 PM
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wantingout     
does anyone actually still believe this shiat is real? it reads like a bad movie plot. the CIA needs better writers.

11 Jun 2012 12:56 PM
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LegacyDL     
wantingout: does anyone actually still believe this shiat is real? it reads like a bad movie plot. the CIA needs better writers.

Wait till Jack Ryan becomes President, Crimson Jihad is going to be peeing in their pants.

11 Jun 2012 01:00 PM
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meow said the dog    [TotalFark]  
LAUGHTER OL wait this is the real thing! I thought this was the silly joke but no this is really upon which they were offering. Why would I do this when I can simply obtain the millions of dollars from the Nigerians due to the deceased relative of me?

11 Jun 2012 01:01 PM
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Posh Naranek     
Look subby normally I look for some snark in my fark. But I'll let it slide this time since how could you make the headline any more ridiculous than the truth?

11 Jun 2012 01:04 PM
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dittybopper    [TotalFark]  
No word on how many goats V.P. Biden is worth

There is a 10 goat *PENALTY* for killing Biden. He's the one they want in the White House.

11 Jun 2012 01:05 PM
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baronbloodbath    [TotalFark]  
10 Camels for Obama is the name of my Fark troll account.

How did they find out?

11 Jun 2012 01:05 PM
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unchellmatt     
"10 cocks for Hillary"

I dunno, I don't think cocks are something she's even remotely interested in.

11 Jun 2012 01:05 PM
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Point02GPA    [TotalFark]  
Drew=1 squirrel, roasted.

11 Jun 2012 01:05 PM
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Mr. Right     
wantingout: does anyone actually still believe this shiat is real? it reads like a bad movie plot. the CIA needs better writers.

OTOH, it could be a show of their utter disdain for our leaders. "You infidels might think we're worth millions dead or alive but you are only worth a handful of fleabitten camels or a few old hens."

11 Jun 2012 01:05 PM
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bugmn99     
They should give that pastor in Florida a call. Those guys would be like peas and carrots.

11 Jun 2012 01:07 PM
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Freakin Rican     
Point02GPA: Drew=1 squirrel, roasted.

more like one can of PBR

11 Jun 2012 01:08 PM
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Lord_Baull     
Why would Al Qaeda pay to have a fellow Muslim murdered?

11 Jun 2012 01:09 PM
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Rindred     
Looks like SOMEbody wants their house demolished with a drone-launched Hellfire missile. Probably cheaper than hiring a demolition crew.

11 Jun 2012 01:09 PM
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LouDobbsAwaaaay    [TotalFark]  
So that's where the GOP got their "chickens for healthcare" plan from.

11 Jun 2012 01:11 PM
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Jacobin     
chimp_ninja: Good to see the bad guys are needing to take some austerity measures as well.

You'd think they'd have a little room on the FY12 spreadsheets, what with all the unanticipated "Predator-based pension deobligations" in the last few years.

"There is nothing new in the fact that infidels pay to have Muslim leaders killed," said Khalaf. "They already did that by offering camels for the head of Prophet Mohammed, and $5 million is equivalent to 200 camels today."

Wait. Camels cost $25,000 each?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x165]

Do they know they could buy actual vehicles for less? A 2012 Ford Ranger's MSRP is $18,160, so you have about $7,000 left for gas. Plus, it's like getting that two-wheeled wooden cart for free.


You're talking fully loaded camels with the undercoat.

11 Jun 2012 01:15 PM
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PsyLord    [TotalFark]  
LegacyDL: wantingout: does anyone actually still believe this shiat is real? it reads like a bad movie plot. the CIA needs better writers.

Wait till Jack Ryan becomes President, Crimson Jihad is going to be peeing in their pants.


Better contact The Omega Sector.

lets.rolloutnyc.com

11 Jun 2012 01:16 PM
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gstefan     
It is what I would expect regarding this Dumb and Dumber administration.
Its 10 camels for Dumb and nothing for Dumber because they want Dumber to be president. Dumber is Obama's insurance against assassination by domestic groups as Dumber would result in utter chaos. The domestic groups would have to wait until after the convention to kill Obama because then the ballot would be set. Ditto for Obama's assassin squads. Obama fears domestic groups far more than foreign groups, look at the published BS from Janet (dumb as dirt) Napolitano and see where her priorities lay.
Incidently, that is why Clinton will never be allowed to be VP under Obama, it would mean more reason to kill Obama in the eyes of many domestic nuts, not to mention Bill and Hillary, who had a way of making their political liabilities end up dead or very rich during Bill's presidency. Obama may be dumb but he is not that dumb.

11 Jun 2012 01:16 PM
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TrollingForColumbine    [TotalFark]  
biden is worth 1 firebird.

/biatchn' camaro

11 Jun 2012 01:19 PM
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Millennium     
wantingout: does anyone actually still believe this shiat is real? it reads like a bad movie plot. the CIA needs better writers.

Truth can be stranger than fiction. Florida is proof enough of that.

It can also, at times, be more offensive. Can you imagine the ensuing hilarity brouhaha if someone in Hollywood were to write this into a movie today? It's true that not so long ago, one could get away with quite a lot when writing about terrorist organizations, and it would pass almost without comment. But even then there were limits, and I'd like to think this would have crossed even those.

11 Jun 2012 01:28 PM
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Arkanaut     
Somacandra: DAMMIT SALAH I SAID NO CAMELS THAT'S FIVE CAMELS CAN'T YOU COUNT?!?!?!

No...

11 Jun 2012 01:32 PM
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StrikitRich    [TotalFark]  
dittybopper: No word on how many goats V.P. Biden is worth

There is a 10 goat *PENALTY* for killing Biden. He's the one they want in the White House.


So even al Qaeda has a sense of humor, right?

11 Jun 2012 01:32 PM
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ciberido     
MonkeyAngst: They do realize that the whereabouts of these two individuals are usually made pretty public, right? Maybe less so for Clinton, but Obama's itinerary is usually pretty well-known.

Damn it, I'm gonna go cash in RIGHT NOW!

11 Jun 2012 01:35 PM
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chimp_ninja     
Jacobin: You're talking fully loaded camels with the undercoat.

With the undercoat, you say? Throw in two Monster Cables and how could I say no?

11 Jun 2012 01:36 PM
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ciberido     
unchellmatt: "10 cocks for Hillary"

I dunno, I don't think cocks are something she's even remotely interested in.


It must be terrible to be so afraid of 51% of the world.

11 Jun 2012 01:37 PM
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Gyrony     
gstefan: It is what I would expect regarding this Dumb and Dumber administration.
Its 10 camels for Dumb and nothing for Dumber because they want Dumber to be president. Dumber is Obama's insurance against assassination by domestic groups as Dumber would result in utter chaos. The domestic groups would have to wait until after the convention to kill Obama because then the ballot would be set. Ditto for Obama's assassin squads. Obama fears domestic groups far more than foreign groups, look at the published BS from Janet (dumb as dirt) Napolitano and see where her priorities lay.
Incidently, that is why Clinton will never be allowed to be VP under Obama, it would mean more reason to kill Obama in the eyes of many domestic nuts, not to mention Bill and Hillary, who had a way of making their political liabilities end up dead or very rich during Bill's presidency. Obama may be dumb but he is not that dumb.


Oh come on...
you're just bitter that Team O did what Commander Clueless & Major Dick couldn't

11 Jun 2012 01:37 PM
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bgddy24601    [TotalFark]  
Dear Somali Al-Qaeda dudes,

I have the location of President Obama. He spends a LOT of time in the NW Washington DC area. I have heard that he gravitates to a big white house on Pennsylvania Avenue. I'll give you a hint: it rhymes with "bixsteen hundred".

/I await my camels
//please cut some holes in the crates so the camels are comfortable on their journey

11 Jun 2012 01:39 PM
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Refudiated Strategerist     
20 chickens for Clinton...why not just send a plane full of KFC over there so the whole place will STFU.

11 Jun 2012 01:39 PM
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Big_Fat_Liar     
wantingout: does anyone actually still believe this shiat is real? it reads like a bad movie plot. the CIA needs better writers.

They need better actors too

11 Jun 2012 01:40 PM
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buddyrtr     
"She might be worth...one donkey."

/Surely not obscure

11 Jun 2012 01:43 PM
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royone     
i190.photobucket.com

11 Jun 2012 01:44 PM
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mikaloyd    [TotalFark]  
Clinton is overpriced

11 Jun 2012 01:48 PM
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Zombie Eater     
meow said the dog: LAUGHTER OL wait this is the real thing! I thought this was the silly joke but no this is really upon which they were offering. Why would I do this when I can simply obtain the millions of dollars from the Nigerians due to the deceased relative of me?

I can't be the only person who read this in her voice...
i131.photobucket.com

11 Jun 2012 01:50 PM
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dittybopper    [TotalFark]  
StrikitRich: dittybopper: No word on how many goats V.P. Biden is worth

There is a 10 goat *PENALTY* for killing Biden. He's the one they want in the White House.

So even al Qaeda has a sense of humor, right?


Hey, when you do some serious trolling like 9/11, you'd best not take yourself too seriously.

11 Jun 2012 01:50 PM
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ChipNASA     
royone: [i190.photobucket.com image 450x624]

domaingang.com

11 Jun 2012 01:50 PM
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unchellmatt     
ciberido: unchellmatt: "10 cocks for Hillary"

I dunno, I don't think cocks are something she's even remotely interested in.

It must be terrible to be so afraid of 51% of the world.


She's afraid of 51% of the world? I don' get it.

11 Jun 2012 01:56 PM
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Jon iz teh kewl     
1.bp.blogspot.com

11 Jun 2012 01:57 PM
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dutchmang     
Posh Naranek: Look subby normally I look for some snark in my fark. But I'll let it slide this time since how could you make the headline any more ridiculous than the truth?

^THIS^

Of course, I genuinely submitted this two days ago with a better headline and got rejected. Sorry mods, you can keep rejecting my awesome subs, I'm not buying TotalFARK.

11 Jun 2012 02:23 PM
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relcec     
Biden is actually on the no-kill-list for obvious reasons:



But it turns out that bin Laden did actually have a very low opinion of Joe Biden, on a very personal level. The Washington Post's David Ignatius reports today that in another document taken from the Abbottabad compound, bin Laden explained the rationale behind a plot to shoot down President Obama's plane thusly:

"Obama is the head of infidelity and killing him automatically will make (Vice President Joe) Biden take over the presidency. ... Biden is totally unprepared for that post, which will lead the U.S. into a crisis."


http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2012/03 /bin-laden-biden-not-prepared-fo r- presidency.html

11 Jun 2012 02:29 PM
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mongbiohazard     
chimp_ninja: Do they know they could buy actual vehicles for less? A 2012 Ford Ranger's MSRP is $18,160, so you have about $7,000 left for gas. Plus, it's like getting that two-wheeled wooden cart for free.


Well, sure, but Ford Rangers don't hump each other yet, and make new Ford Rangers. Camels also produce milk, keep grasses and other foliage under control, you can eat them, etc. etc. etc....

A Ford Ranger is more efficient at moving people and stuff around, but that's about it. And you have to keep them fueled and not just let them graze on your land. For me in the suburbs of DC a Ford Ranger makes more sense. For some impoverished dude in a 3rd world country with a shiat economy and goods/resource distribution inefficiencies a camel might make a lot more sense.

Millennium: wantingout: does anyone actually still believe this shiat is real? it reads like a bad movie plot. the CIA needs better writers.

Truth can be stranger than fiction. Florida is proof enough of that.



I think that what these guys REALLY want is the credibility they'll get from the attention of making the announcement. It's not a serious offer. Sure, they'd probably love to pay out but all they seriously expect from this is attention.

Thanks to our society's continual and slightly baffling self-defeating need to give these kinds of jackholes all the attention they want though, they achieved what they hoped to achieve - and then some.


MonkeyAngst: They do realize that the whereabouts of these two individuals are usually made pretty public, right? Maybe less so for Clinton, but Obama's itinerary is usually pretty well-known.


The general itinerary, yes, but the specifics and routes are only public if you're a hooker in Columbia.

11 Jun 2012 02:36 PM
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dbrunker     
This is an Insult!
farm2.staticflickr.com
They're trying to say that Obama and Hillary are worthless, no threat and hardly worth bothering with.

11 Jun 2012 02:49 PM
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Heathen     
"Anyone who helps the Mujahideen find the whereabouts of Obama and Hillary Clinton will be rewarded with 10 camels for the information leading to Obama and 10 hens and 10 cocks for Hillary,"

1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington D.C.

WHAR ARE MY CAMELS? WHAR

11 Jun 2012 02:52 PM
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Keizer_Ghidorah     
Toss in an elephant, three sea lions, and a tap-dancing orangutan, and you've got a deal.

11 Jun 2012 03:02 PM
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Do you know the way to Mordor     
10 cocks for Hillary? Is that the sequel to Nailin' Palin?

11 Jun 2012 03:16 PM
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