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   "I did not kill my girlfriend; she set HERSELF on fire. Then shot herself"

11 Jun 2012 02:43 PM   |   9922 clicks   |   610 WIOD
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cretinbob     
and she was wearing a hoodie and looked confused.

11 Jun 2012 11:25 AM
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MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
And she threw herself backwards onto a fork

/47 times

11 Jun 2012 11:45 AM
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Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
That's from Fear dude. That's Marky Mark!

11 Jun 2012 11:50 AM
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Apos     
So she was showing off her high threshold for pain? Riiiiight.

11 Jun 2012 12:18 PM
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Tell Me How My Blog Tastes    [TotalFark]  
I've seen it a million times. Vindictive biatch. "Pass me the salt, or I'll burn myself and then shoot myself, and I won't testify for you!"

11 Jun 2012 12:30 PM
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labman    [TotalFark]  
Well, she got the drop part right. Right after the gunshot.

11 Jun 2012 01:17 PM
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JerseyTim    [TotalFark]  
I blame fun.

11 Jun 2012 02:29 PM
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Louisiana_Sitar_Club     
"Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

11 Jun 2012 02:44 PM
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Crewmannumber6     
....8 times, stopping only once to reload.

11 Jun 2012 02:45 PM
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cgraves67     
JerseyTim: I blame fun.

Well, I bet she was brighter than the sun for a few minutes there.

11 Jun 2012 02:45 PM
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Hack Patooey    [TotalFark]  
#include "smellslikebullshiat.jpg"

11 Jun 2012 02:46 PM
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groppet     
Im trying to figur out a way for my roomates cat to kill my roomate. Maybe I should just tape steak knives to his paws he is always jumping on her anyways.

11 Jun 2012 02:46 PM
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Klivian     
groppet: Im trying to figur out a way for my roomates cat to kill my roomate. Maybe I should just tape steak knives to his paws he is always jumping on her anyways.

Suffocation? Duct tape the thing to his face.

11 Jun 2012 02:47 PM
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nicoffeine     
I hate when that happens.
www.freemontsoffice.com

11 Jun 2012 02:47 PM
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Heathen     
that's a perfectly cromulant argument, almost as good as "I was not having sex with her, I slipped on a banana and just fell into her. Then she tried to run away, only backwards, which didn't help the situation."

11 Jun 2012 02:47 PM
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vudukungfu     
Another rich man with a title tossing out his little garbage when he is done with it.
Look at the names involved. Teresea Derr Foster
Demographically, I'd say that is just about as trailer park of a name as you can get.
And his? Clinton Arthur Ridenour north of Greenville.
Wow. It's like he was gifted with free reign over North of Greenville.
Like he gets to do as he pleases. Too bad the court doesn't parlay to those old Reeve laws. Where the shire reeve is the law.
He's nothing but trouble.

11 Jun 2012 02:50 PM
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elev8meL8r     
Freedom! Yeaaaaaahhh ... right!

11 Jun 2012 02:50 PM
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polarisTheArcticRescueMoose     
Link to Clinton Arthur Ridenour
if you were engaged to someone like this, you would light yourself on fire and shoot yourself too!!

11 Jun 2012 02:50 PM
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braedan     
polarisTheArcticRescueMoose: Link to Clinton Arthur Ridenour
if you were engaged to someone like this, you would light yourself on fire and shoot yourself too!!


If that face doesn't scream innocent, I don't know what does.

11 Jun 2012 02:51 PM
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martid4    [TotalFark]  
Sounds fat.

11 Jun 2012 02:52 PM
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Trance750     
cgraves67: JerseyTim: I blame fun.

Well, I bet she was brighter than the sun for a few minutes there.


Thank you Colbie Caillat

11 Jun 2012 02:53 PM
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HotWingConspiracy     
It's possible, women are crazy.

11 Jun 2012 02:54 PM
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spentmiles     
polarisTheArcticRescueMoose: Link to Clinton Arthur Ridenour
if you were engaged to someone like this, you would light yourself on fire and shoot yourself too!!


i45.tinypic.com

"FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!"

11 Jun 2012 02:54 PM
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Stile4aly     
Then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times

11 Jun 2012 02:54 PM
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jst3p     
Louisiana_Sitar_Club: "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

This comment deserves much more attention than it is getting.

Well done (so was she!).

11 Jun 2012 02:56 PM
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Nana's Vibrator     
polarisTheArcticRescueMoose: Link to Clinton Arthur Ridenour
if you were engaged to someone like this, you would light yourself on fire and shoot yourself too!!


I just clicked on your link and I truly believe he is telepathically telling me to do the same. Almost had me, but not this time, Ridenour!
Why don't people ever use their powers for good?

11 Jun 2012 02:56 PM
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Lost Thought 00    [TotalFark]  
Self-inflicted, All she had to do was make the damn sammich with real mayo.

11 Jun 2012 02:56 PM
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Whatthefark     
"I thought painting my shotgun to look like a fire extinguisher would be funny your Honor."

11 Jun 2012 02:57 PM
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Contrabulous Flabtraption    [TotalFark]  
Actaully knew someone who did set himself on fire then shot himself. Some sort of suicidal vengeance

11 Jun 2012 02:57 PM
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cgraves67     
Trance750: cgraves67: JerseyTim: I blame fun.

Well, I bet she was brighter than the sun for a few minutes there.

Thank you Colbie Caillat


actually, it's from the band fun. The song is called We Are Young.

we are young
so we'll set the world on fire
we can grow brighter
than the sun

11 Jun 2012 02:58 PM
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D_Evans45     
Duh, cops. Can't you see right? Pssh.

11 Jun 2012 02:58 PM
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MoronLessOff     
groppet: Im trying to figur out a way for my roomates cat to kill my roomate. Maybe I should just tape steak knives to his paws he is always jumping on her anyways.

d3gqasl9vmjfd8.cloudfront.net

11 Jun 2012 03:01 PM
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CliChe Guevara     
Dudes gonna fry, which would really suck if for some bizarre reason the chick really did decide to kill herself by self-immolation. mainly because even if she did, no one is going to believe it - so really it doesn't matter, dudes gonna fry.

11 Jun 2012 03:06 PM
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groppet     
Commander Clement: [about pile of dead bodies] What happened?
Betty: Plague!
Commander Clement: Plague?
Betty: All sudden like! Lucky I was out.
Commander Clement: That man's got a sword in him!
Betty: He fell on it.

11 Jun 2012 03:06 PM
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kdogg73     
Was she hot?

11 Jun 2012 03:06 PM
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Muta     
she set HERSELF on fire. Then shot herself"

store.discovery.com

11 Jun 2012 03:07 PM
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Goliath     
Can't bame her.
There was never anything to do in that town.
Lived there her whole life.
Link

11 Jun 2012 03:18 PM
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natmar_76     
Man was just standing his ground. You can't punish him for that.

11 Jun 2012 03:20 PM
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Ba'boon    [TotalFark]  
0.tqn.com
All these kids started coming out of nowhere and killing themselves.

/Saw this on Netflix yesterday. I like.

11 Jun 2012 03:23 PM
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Guidette Frankentits     
www.jonco48.com

11 Jun 2012 03:26 PM
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here to help     
There was a story on here a while ago about a guy and his buddy trying to kill the one guys pregnant girlfriend. They set her on fire then shot her but she lived and managed to get herself to a hospital. Is this some new way to kill people? Because that is some f*cked up sh*t. If you have a gun just shoot them in the f*cking head and be done with it. Better yet... just break up with them and move on with your fooking life. Psychos.

11 Jun 2012 03:39 PM
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MooseUpNorth     
Well how else is she supposed to put herself out???

11 Jun 2012 03:40 PM
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Duke_leto_Atredes     
one of the worst cases of suicide I have read about.

11 Jun 2012 03:41 PM
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Gleeman     
So: like my late Aunt who according to her husband "shot herself" in the back of the head, from far enough away to not leave powder burns?

www.manitobamythbusters.com

11 Jun 2012 03:44 PM
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treesloth     
Immolation, sincerest form of flattery, etc...

11 Jun 2012 03:46 PM
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Gyrfalcon     
If I was on fire, I'd probably shoot myself to stop the pain. However, if I had a gun and was bent on suicide, I doubt I'd set myself on fire first just for the lulz and then shoot myself after, you know?

11 Jun 2012 03:52 PM
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LovingTeacher     
light a fire for a man and keep him warm for a day

light a man on fire and keep him warm for the rest of his life

11 Jun 2012 03:56 PM
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Nana's Vibrator     
Gyrfalcon: If I was on fire, I'd probably shoot myself to stop the pain. However, if I had a gun and was bent on suicide, I doubt I'd set myself on fire first just for the lulz and then shoot myself after, you know?

Sometimes you just don't have a choice. Remember those folks in the towers on 9/11 who were on fire and jumping out the windows and then shooting themselves in mid-air? Except those guys who rode the floors the whole way down. They totally lived. I have the emails to prove it. I forget the subject, but they all started with FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW:

11 Jun 2012 04:04 PM
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Carn     
Well, she certainly was dedicated.

11 Jun 2012 04:07 PM
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derpdeederp     
Ba'boon: [0.tqn.com image 500x333]
All these kids started coming out of nowhere and killing themselves.

/Saw this on Netflix yesterday. I like.


what movie was that?

11 Jun 2012 04:08 PM
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