What next? The handjob and cupcake smoothie?

FirstNationalBastard: What next? The handjob and cupcake smoothie?

Just watch out if you see it on the dollar menu. There are some things you should pay the premium for.

jaylectricity: FirstNationalBastard: What next? The handjob and cupcake smoothie?

Just watch out if you see it on the dollar menu. There are some things you should pay the premium for.

Should I also be careful not to mash my orders together? For example, don't say "I'd like a cupcake and handjob smoothie with some chicken fingers"?

Or a cupcake and handjob smoothie and a tossed salad.

Yes please.

/for the Sundae. Not the smoothie.

FirstNationalBastard: What next? The handjob and cupcake smoothie?

I'll take the handjob and cupcake smoothie...hold the smoothie.

I figured it was because the bacon sundae that Denny's has had on the menu for quite some time has been selling.

jaylectricity: FirstNationalBastard: What next? The handjob and cupcake smoothie?

Just watch out if you see it on the dollar menu. There are some things you should pay the premium for.

Here's a Penny Arcade that well illustrates your point. Props to them, visit their site, click an ad, etc...

And, because it will sell.

This might be burger king's actual jump the shark moment. No longer do I see a line of cars wrapped around the drive through at lunch time with smoke billowing from the restaurant. Just sad, dirty places with two or three cars parked out front. And its probably not even real bacon, but some sort of bacon-like product with hight fructose corn syrup lade ice cream and chocolate sauce.

This is how people get fat.

I can make my own handjobs better at home.

Where is your cholesterol level now?

Retractable Weeners: I can make my own handjobs better at home.

But at Burger King, your handjob is topped with bacon!

FirstNationalBastard: Retractable Weeners: I can make my own handjobs better at home.

But at Burger King, your handjob is topped with bacon!

I can do the same thing here.

FirstNationalBastard: Retractable Weeners: I can make my own handjobs better at home.

But at Burger King, your handjob is topped with bacon!

And we all know that BACON MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!*


*except when you're frying bacon and getting a handjob at the same time. If you *sizzle* *OW!!!!* know what I mean ;)

These are delicious. I live near one of the first stores to get them and have no complaints.

Though I can honestly say I don't neccessarily trust the BK Handjob

I might try one, but I'm still trying to digest the bacon milkshake I had at Jack-in-the-Box months ago.

Tellingthem: FirstNationalBastard: What next? The handjob and cupcake smoothie?

I'll take the handjob and cupcake smoothie...hold the smoothie.

"We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. And then we crank you off. We call it the Good Morning Burger."

As they say: Any publicity is good plublicity even if it is bad (or disgusting in this case).

SpinStopper: And we all know that BACON MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!*

Maybe if their burgers weren't so shiatty they wouldn't have to stoop to shiat like this

Someone make Sour Cream and Onion fries already
Flamin' hot cheese fries

I find it funny that BK recently redid their whole menu with this new "fresh and healthy" outlook. And then this shows up, and thus the facade is over and we can return to inhaling a third of a cow, with half a corn field in refined sugar in 2 small soda cups. (DAMN YOU BLOOMBERG!!)

DemoKnite: This might be burger king's actual jump the shark moment. No longer do I see a line of cars wrapped around the drive through at lunch time with smoke billowing from the restaurant. Just sad, dirty places with two or three cars parked out front. And its probably not even real bacon, but some sort of bacon-like product with hight fructose corn syrup lade ice cream and chocolate sauce.

Agreed, this latest push of new products and McCafe™ style items smacks of shark-jumping desperation...too little, too late. Here in Florida, Burger Kings are run-down shells of their former selves. Bleck...

And, from the article: "The sundae is 510 calories and has 18 grams of fat and 61 grams of sugar, comparable to four liters of Mountain Dew." That struck me as a virtual impossibility since soda is almost pure sugar. Some basic googlery reveals a liter of soda to have around 108 grams of sugar (which means 4 liters would have 432 grams). Daily FAIL!!!!

/gave up most fast food almost a year ago so I'm getting a kick

Meh, I'll try it once.

/will try almost anything once

The problem here is that BK bacon sucks balls. It's like limp, translucent, shoe flavored, fruit leather.

Expolaris: I find it funny that BK recently redid their whole menu with this new "fresh and healthy" outlook.

They didn't do it to be "fresh and healthy", they did it because they wanted to sell the same shiat as McDonald's.

Optimus Primate:
And, from the article: "The sundae is 510 calories and has 18 grams of fat and 61 grams of sugar, comparable to four liters of Mountain Dew." That struck me as a virtual impossibility since soda is almost pure sugar. Some basic googlery reveals a liter of soda to have around 108 grams of sugar (which means 4 liters would have 432 grams). Daily FAIL!!!!


Damnit, you beat me to it.
I was certain there was no way a liter of soda has 15 grams of sugar.

Funbags: Expolaris: I find it funny that BK recently redid their whole menu with this new "fresh and healthy" outlook.

They didn't do it to be "fresh and healthy", they did it because they wanted to sell the same shiat as McDonald's.







Just take a look. It's all the same. Same message, 2 (and many more) use the same buzzword "Fresh". BK is just trying their hand at the same old game.

They did it because of overall market pressure. They had to either update and try to be healthy, or what fast food considers their standards of "healthy".

BK pulled the trigger and did a WHOLE new menu. They didn't just introduce a few new options. They revamped the old menu and are now reintroducing bad food in smaller amounts. They still have burgers but their brand is so...messed up now. They have one foot in a pile of processed shiat, and another in a pile of overly organic bland shiat (i love healthy food, and it does not have to taste like overly organic bland crap).

They kinda alienated themselves from their target and are now trying to do concessions to regain their lost image. Good luck with that uphill battle BK.

/2 cents from an Junior Adman

DemoKnite: This might be burger king's actual jump the shark moment. No longer do I see a line of cars wrapped around the drive through at lunch time with smoke billowing from the restaurant. Just sad, dirty places with two or three cars parked out front. And its probably not even real bacon, but some sort of bacon-like product with hight fructose corn syrup lade ice cream and chocolate sauce.

Burger King (or as I like to call it the BK Lounge) used to be one of my favorites even though people have always hated on it. That original chicken sandwich used to be addicting. Something's happened though recently with that company - all their food tastes like dog shiat and now they keep trying to copy whatever McDonalds already does better (smoothies, coffee, etc). Go back to charbroiling everything and making good burgers or watch the company continue to fail.

Expolaris: They did it because of overall market pressure. They had to either update and try to be healthy, or what fast food considers their standards of "healthy".

Who are you arguing with? BK makes smoothies and wraps and deep-fried processed chicken strips because MCD does, but they are careful to never call their food healthy, relying on useless industry buzzwords like "fresh", "quality" and "new and improved!"

It reminds me of that Nutella commercial where the Mom tap dances around how absolutely foul the product is, because her kids will literally shovel down as much of it as she dares to feed them.