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   100-mph drive ends in dramatic fail. This story has it all: teenagers, moose, parolees, and nocturnal emissions

15 Jun 2012 01:08 PM   |   9841 clicks   |   KREM Spokane
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Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
Should have left him to his moosey fate.

15 Jun 2012 10:13 AM
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BKITU    [TotalFark]  
This story has it all: teenagers, moose, parolees, and nocturnal emissions

cdn.wg.uproxx.com

15 Jun 2012 11:22 AM
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Richard Saunders     
And a cop who put it all together...one cunning Lininger.

15 Jun 2012 11:58 AM
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Super Chronic     
This article is more enjoyable if you read each sentence starting with "You might be a redneck if...."

15 Jun 2012 01:12 PM
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Molavian    [TotalFark]  
Richard Saunders: And a cop who put it all together...one cunning Lininger.

Bravo.

15 Jun 2012 01:13 PM
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Mega Steve     
Wow...sounds like a lot of weapons-grade stupidity in that family

15 Jun 2012 01:14 PM
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Unoriginal_Username     
And not one mention of the last name? "Comesatnight"

15 Jun 2012 01:15 PM
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Mirrorz    [TotalFark]  
Yes yes yes... It's where two jacked midgets are filled with compressed air and dress in owl costumes while they fart in your general direction.

15 Jun 2012 01:16 PM
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walkerhound     
Unoriginal_Username: And not one mention of the last name? "Comesatnight"

I know, seriously!! Farkers be slippin'. That's like a subby's wet dream!

15 Jun 2012 01:18 PM
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MonkeyDavid     
walkerhound: Unoriginal_Username: And not one mention of the last name? "Comesatnight"

I know, seriously!! Farkers be slippin'. That's like a subby's wet dream!


I can't believe the subby didn't work that in somewhere, maybe in the last two words.

15 Jun 2012 01:20 PM
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LeroyBourne     
The story needed a dash of bath salts to pull it all together.

15 Jun 2012 01:21 PM
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SmellsLikePoo     
walkerhound: Unoriginal_Username: And not one mention of the last name? "Comesatnight"

I know, seriously!! Farkers be slippin'. That's like a subby's wet dream!


I was assuming that was the "nocturnal emissions" reference... no?

15 Jun 2012 01:21 PM
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johndalek     
do they get to keep the moosehead?

15 Jun 2012 01:25 PM
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darkskuld     
Was it in room with the moose?

15 Jun 2012 01:26 PM
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frenchcheesemuseum    [TotalFark]  
Best. Last. Name. Ever.

15 Jun 2012 01:29 PM
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Bith Set Me Up    [TotalFark]  
A moose bit my teenager parolee once...

15 Jun 2012 01:29 PM
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mark12A    [TotalFark]  
I just came back from a liquid lunch and this thread fulfills all my dreams....

15 Jun 2012 01:30 PM
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Tillmaster     
That's got to be a contender for "world's most embarassing surname".

I presume he pronounces it Co-mesa-t'night.

15 Jun 2012 01:32 PM
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Now I Is!     

15 Jun 2012 01:33 PM
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snowybunting    [TotalFark]  
johndalek: do they get to keep the moosehead?

darkskuld: Was it in room with the moose?


Why don't you forget the moose?
www.popscreen.com

15 Jun 2012 01:36 PM
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uncleacid     
Is that real moose in your hair?

15 Jun 2012 01:42 PM
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PsyLord    [TotalFark]  
For going 100 mph and slamming into a moose, that car came out of the accident pretty well. I was expecting it to be completely totaled.

/don't make cars like that anymore

15 Jun 2012 01:45 PM
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walkerhound     
uncleacid: Is that real moose in your hair?

www.picktainment.com

15 Jun 2012 01:47 PM
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bikerbob59     
Unoriginal_Username: And not one mention of the last name? "Comesatnight"

Cam here for Comesatnight. Wondering if he's related to Wentsunmorn.

15 Jun 2012 01:52 PM
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Inhalien     
SmellsLikePoo: walkerhound: Unoriginal_Username: And not one mention of the last name? "Comesatnight"

I know, seriously!! Farkers be slippin'. That's like a subby's wet dream!

I was assuming that was the "nocturnal emissions" reference... no?


Most likely a Native American. Meet Mrs Shotonbothsides.

farm4.staticflickr.com

15 Jun 2012 01:53 PM
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binaryblue82     
The only things missing were midgets, a beachball, and a cato'nine tails...

/wait- do the 5 year olds count as midgets?

15 Jun 2012 01:53 PM
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Splinshints     
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say the gene pool wouldn't have been much worse for wear had everybody in that car been killed in the crash....

15 Jun 2012 01:55 PM
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skrame     
We now know Comesatnight was driving around 100 miles per hour without a license or a permit. Investigators say he was driving three adults, who were in the backseat and had suspended licenses. The group was driving from Great Falls, Montana to the Coeur d'Alene Casino.

...

Turns out that's truer than it first sounds. The teen's guardian, Martin Tellesch, wasn't supposed to leave Montana because he's on parole. Four others were also in the car, including two five-year-olds. One of them fractured his skull and had to have a plate put in after the moose head came flying into the car.


I'm confused on the passenger list. The teen driver, three adults in the back, and two five-year-olds in the front? Or the driver, the three adults, and four others? Six in the car sounds more believable, but it could have been the teen, three adults in the back, two adults in front, and two kids on laps/roaming freely.

15 Jun 2012 01:56 PM
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offmymeds     
Ryan Comesatnight

i0.kym-cdn.com

15 Jun 2012 01:59 PM
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skrame     
Ryan Comesatnight in Great Falls on Facebook.

Bonus A - from Heart Butte
Bonus B - Status: THEE MOOSE HITTER IS NOW ONLINE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

15 Jun 2012 02:01 PM
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Sin_City_Superhero    [TotalFark]  
All the fines have yet to be paid.

Yeah, I'll bet not.

15 Jun 2012 02:01 PM
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BenJammin     
Comesatnight? Wait, did this accident happen during the day or night?

15 Jun 2012 02:05 PM
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skrame     
skrame: Ryan Comesatnight in Great Falls on Facebook.

Bonus A - from Heart Butte
Bonus B - Status: THEE MOOSE HITTER IS NOW ONLINE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Bonus C - Three friends share the 'comesatnight' last name, including Justin Lee who works at McDonald, loves Twilight and Miley Cyrus, and is single. No crap?

/Could Comesatnight be a native name? Lots of friends with names like Redhorn and Bullbear.

15 Jun 2012 02:06 PM
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Matthew Keene     
skrame: skrame: Ryan Comesatnight in Great Falls on Facebook.

Bonus A - from Heart Butte
Bonus B - Status: THEE MOOSE HITTER IS NOW ONLINE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bonus C - Three friends share the 'comesatnight' last name, including Justin Lee who works at McDonald, loves Twilight and Miley Cyrus, and is single. No crap?

/Could Comesatnight be a native name? Lots of friends with names like Redhorn and Bullbear.


Beats the hell out of Jaeden or Brady, or even Boston.

15 Jun 2012 02:13 PM
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gilatrout    [TotalFark]  
Mind you, møøse bites can be nasti

15 Jun 2012 02:15 PM
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dryknife     
www2.beerguild.co.uk

15 Jun 2012 02:16 PM
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Mog32Kupo    [TotalFark]  
Sybarite: Should have left him to his moosey fate.

images.wikia.com

Thank you sir. I'd never give a Moose some walnuts...

15 Jun 2012 02:19 PM
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farkityfarker     
BKITU: This story has it all: teenagers, moose, parolees, and nocturnal emissions

[cdn.wg.uproxx.com image 600x329]


You forgot to mention that the moose was decapitated. That's the best part of this story. A decapitated moose.

So much so that I'll mention it again.

A decapitated moose.

15 Jun 2012 02:20 PM
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Coco LaFemme     
Comesatnight cannot be a real last name. He had to have been pulling the cop's leg, or something.

15 Jun 2012 02:22 PM
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Whiskey Dickens     

THIS JUST IN:

Not all Parts of the US Killed their Native Populations

All of Fark Baffled

15 Jun 2012 02:30 PM
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blatz514    [TotalFark]  
McLovin?

15 Jun 2012 02:33 PM
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umad     
LeroyBourne: The story needed a dash of bath salts to pull it all together.

Natives don't do bath salts. They are old school so they stick to the malt liquor. Honestly, I am shocked that DUI wasn't among the charges.

Coco LaFemme: Comesatnight cannot be a real last name. He had to have been pulling the cop's leg, or something.

I knew an Indian dude whose name was Stabsbymistake.

/really

15 Jun 2012 02:39 PM
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vudukungfu     
I've been driving in my Indian Car,
To the pound of the wheels drumming in my brain,
My dash is dusty, my plates are expired,
Please Mr. Officer, let me explain,
I've got to make it to a Pow-Wow tonight,
I'll be singing 49, down by the river side,
Looking for a sugar, riding in my Indian Car,
Got my T-Bird in the glove-box,
I ain't got no spare,
Got a feather from an eagle,
I ain't got no care,
The road is empty,
As my bottle of desire,
Daylight is breaking,
The sun touches fire,
I've got to make another Pow-Wow tonight,
I'll be singing 49, down by the river side,
Looking for a sugar, riding in my Indian Car,
My car is dented,
The radiator steams,
One headlight don't work,
But the radio can scream,
I got a sticker,
It say's "Indian Power",
I stuck it on my bumper,
That's what holds my car together,
Were on the circuit of an Indian dream,
We don't get old,
We just get younger,
When were flying down the highway,
Riding in our Indian Cars,
Were on the circuit of an Indian dream,
We don't get old,
We just get younger,
When were flying down the highway,
Riding in our Indian Cars,
Riding in our Indian Cars,
Riding in our Indian Cars

15 Jun 2012 02:39 PM
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farkityfarker     
Yeah, driving 100 mph is stupid. Not news, despite some of the testosterone-filled boys who post on Fark.

15 Jun 2012 02:51 PM
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good_2_go     
lh4.googleusercontent.com

15 Jun 2012 02:55 PM
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dotvincent     
Well, the moose should have been crossing 3 miles down the road, at the "moose crossing" sign.

15 Jun 2012 03:00 PM
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capt.hollister     
farkityfarker: Yeah, driving 100 mph letting a 14 year old drive is stupid. Not news, despite some of the testosterone-filled boys who post on Fark.


Several places in the world allow 100mph driving on some of their roads without concluding that all road users are stupid.

15 Jun 2012 03:07 PM
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walkerhound     
umad: I knew an Indian dude whose name was Stabsbymistake.

/really


I knew a white guy that was adopted by Native Americans that went by the name "Dances with Wolves." Married a white chick called "Stands with a Fist."

/not srsly

Most Indians I know go by "Suneel" or "Ravi."

15 Jun 2012 03:17 PM
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Neato     
PsyLord: For going 100 mph and slamming into a moose, that car came out of the accident pretty well. I was expecting it to be completely totaled.

/don't make cars like that anymore


Older cars are made with more steel, are heavy and don't have as many crumple zones. So the passengers deaccelerate very quickly with the car and sustain injuries. I'm assuming the lack of deaths was due to how packed in those 6 people were and the likelihood of them hitting only the moose's head since it was decapitated.

15 Jun 2012 03:55 PM
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biglew99     
BKITU: This story has it all: teenagers, moose, parolees, and nocturnal emissions

[cdn.wg.uproxx.com image 600x329]




THIS.

/love Stefan
//makes me CRY when he shows up on SNL

15 Jun 2012 04:12 PM
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