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   I don't know why you'd drink it instead of bourbon anyway, but here's why that glass of scotch smells like an old Band-Aid

15 Jun 2012 04:01 PM   |   12135 clicks   |   Popular Science
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rocinante721     
Sorry, can't smell any bandaids over the heavenly effluvia of peat

www.bourbonblog.com

/swirl, sip, savor, holds dram with pinky extended

15 Jun 2012 01:18 PM
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rocinante721     
For those who like smoky things, try Connemara Irish Whiskey

whiskey.cocktailenthusiast.com

If you really like to rock the funky beat, mix 1:3 Connemara cask strength to Powers Irish.

Mmmmmmmmm ...

15 Jun 2012 01:22 PM
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TsarTom    [TotalFark]  
I refute completely the premise of this headline.

DNRTFA

15 Jun 2012 01:34 PM
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BunkyBrewman    [TotalFark]  
I want Bourbon, I want Scotch, I want Beer

15 Jun 2012 01:52 PM
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TheDumbBlonde    [TotalFark]  
Bourbon smells like bad decisions.

15 Jun 2012 01:53 PM
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keylock71    [TotalFark]  
Eh... I've had friends here in the states and when I lived in Ireland tell me the reason why I don't like Scotch is because I haven't drank "good scotch". I've been handed a myriad of high end scotches and guaranteed I would like it...

Sorry, it all tastes like gasoline to me.

Give me a good Irish or Canadian whiskey any day of the week.

15 Jun 2012 01:58 PM
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Pocket Ninja    [TotalFark]  
These alcohol headlines posted by people who so clearly no nothing about alcohol are always amusing. But OK, subby, I'm here to help, so instead of just laughing at you or mocking you, let me try to educate you instead.

First of all, if the scotch smells like band-aids, what that means is you haven't properly decanted it. Now, there's all kinds of ways to decant scotch, and you'll see people selling these little devices that insert into the bottle's opening and make the liquid go all sloshy while you pour it. What that sloshing around is doing is forcing airborne chemicals like oxygen and hydrogen into the scotch, which "opens up" the active ingredients that flavor it, like peat and barley and corn. You can use those little inserts if you want, but it's better to buy a decanter, which is basically just a big jug that you can swirl the scotch around in. Then you just pour it from the bottle into the jug and swish it around for a while.

Interesting historical note: this is actually why in all those old-timey cartoons where there are backwoods still operators making their whiskey up in the West Virginia mountains, you always see them drinking out of clay jugs. They knew that they had to decant the whiskey first (and don't get confused by the alternating usage of "scotch" and "whiskey"; what you hear called "scotch" is just what they called it in Scotland after they learned the techniques in America), and so what they would do is make the whiskey in the still, pour it into the bottle to age, and then pour it into their jug when it was ready to decant. Oh, and PROTIP: Remember to NEVER pour back in the bottle from the jug...re-exposure to the glass can ruin the scotch (it's called "glassing" it) and that can really suck. Just keep it in whatever jug you pour it into.

Now, a word of warning: You need to be careful when you're decanting your scotch, because you may not know this, but peat is basically infant coal. It's coal that's starting to form in a bog and hasn't sunk all the way down yet to be mined. It just kind of floats there on top, but it's every bit as combustible as coal. In fact, everything in scotch is combustible...corn particularly so (popcorn is made from controlled corn explosions, after all). Another historical note: Before the discovered wood, Scottish people used peat to make fires. That's why they wear kilts, actually...they'd scoop out a handful of peat from the bog and throw it on the ground and light and then just stand over it to warm their genitals, since it made such a nice low fire. But here's what you need to think about -- hydrogen, which like oxygen just floats around in the air, is actually very explosive. That's why they make bombs out of it. So while you're decanting your scotch in your jug to open it up, you're actually forcing hydrogen to frictionalize against the peat (and other explosive) elements in the alcohol. Don't swirl too violently, in other words. That's why the old still operators used clay jugs, in fact -- the clay helped dampen the explosive effect. The best whiskey decanters are made out of clay compounds, in fact...ask about them in a well-stocked liquor store and they'll be able to direct you to some good suppliers.

Enjoy!

15 Jun 2012 02:19 PM
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Sliding Carp    [TotalFark]  

15 Jun 2012 03:14 PM
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tallguywithglasseson    [TotalFark]  
A: It tastes better.

15 Jun 2012 03:15 PM
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Communist_Manifesto     
Doesn't smell like band-aids mixed with Mountain Dew! MMMMMmmmmmm

15 Jun 2012 03:20 PM
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MaudlinMutantMollusk     
TheDumbBlonde: Bourbon smells like bad decisions.

Not nearly as bad as tequila

/that stuff has definitely led to some bad decisions

15 Jun 2012 03:27 PM
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cannotsuggestaname    [TotalFark]  
www.shop4whisky.com

does not smell like band-aids


www.scotlandstephenson.com

most certainly does not smell like band-aids, or varnish, or any of those other things they attribute to scotch in the article.

15 Jun 2012 03:32 PM
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Relatively Obscure    [TotalFark]  
I've never had a scotch I like, but that could just be because I've had nothing but bad ones. I'm still willing to try, just not to buy a bottle until I find one.

15 Jun 2012 03:36 PM
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Jubeebee    [TotalFark]  
keylock71: Give me a good Irish or Canadian whiskey any day of the week.

Canadian whiskey is a great disinfectant, and the packaging makes for good dice bags, but I thought this thread was about stuff you'd want to drink.

/a bow to PN, as always

15 Jun 2012 03:44 PM
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PreMortem    [TotalFark]  
file.vintageadbrowser.com

My preference

/hot

15 Jun 2012 03:50 PM
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The_Sponge    [TotalFark]  
Jubeebee: and the packaging makes for good dice bags


CSB:

A good friend of mine has a smoking jacket made from old Crown Royal bags.

15 Jun 2012 04:05 PM
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Jument     
keylock71: Eh... I've had friends here in the states and when I lived in Ireland tell me the reason why I don't like Scotch is because I haven't drank "good scotch". I've been handed a myriad of high end scotches and guaranteed I would like it...

Sorry, it all tastes like gasoline to me.

Give me a good Irish or Canadian whiskey any day of the week.


Crown Royal is kind of shiatty. Scotch comes from across the pond.

/Canadian so I'm allowed to say that
//the CR "dark" is especially nasty IMHO

15 Jun 2012 04:05 PM
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Devolving_Spud     
Not if you mix it with Mountain Dew, subby.

15 Jun 2012 04:06 PM
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PanicMan     
rocinante721: Sorry, can't smell any bandaids over the heavenly effluvia of peat

[www.bourbonblog.com image 236x480]

/swirl, sip, savor, holds dram with pinky extended


You... you completely stole my post. Even the brand of scotch.

I tip my hat sir.

/tasty tasty campfire

15 Jun 2012 04:08 PM
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SultanofSchwing     
You shut your whore mouth subby.

15 Jun 2012 04:08 PM
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Turd_Ferguson     
Devolving_Spud: Not if you mix it with Mountain Dew, subby.

What's your Xbox handle?

15 Jun 2012 04:09 PM
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Mikmaq Paddywhack     
Scotch, whiskey, bourbon, it all tastes the same to me. And I enjoy it all.

15 Jun 2012 04:09 PM
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Pointy Tail of Satan     
Bah. Scotch is for primates. Sake is da bomb! Assuming you don't mind $30 for a 300ml bottle. Sigh.....

15 Jun 2012 04:09 PM
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Bruxellensis     
This headline smells like an old band-aid.

15 Jun 2012 04:09 PM
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xdedd     
Whiskey/Scotch/Bourbon all make me feel ornery.

15 Jun 2012 04:09 PM
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CJHardin     
SultanofSchwing: You shut your whore mouth subby.

15 Jun 2012 04:11 PM
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The_Sponge    [TotalFark]  
Jument: Crown Royal is kind of shiatty. Scotch comes from across the pond.

/Canadian so I'm allowed to say that
//the CR "dark" is especially nasty IMHO



The one thing I don't get about my friends:

They have good taste when it comes to cigars, wine, restaurants, etc. But a lot of them always buy Canadian whiskey......like if there's a party, etc. I'm I'm going to bring whiskey to an event, I'm bringing Jack or Maker's Mark.

15 Jun 2012 04:11 PM
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wrenchboy     
TheDumbBlonde: Bourbon smells like bad decisions.

You need to stop hanging out with Trailer Trash who drink Jack Daniels so they can have their trailer park cred.

Try some Ezra Brooks 90 proof instead.

15 Jun 2012 04:12 PM
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The_Sponge    [TotalFark]  
wrenchboy: TheDumbBlonde: Bourbon smells like bad decisions.

You need to stop hanging out with Trailer Trash who drink Jack Daniels so they can have their trailer park cred.




Since when is Jack considered bourbon?

15 Jun 2012 04:12 PM
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ParaHandy     
Is peat flavour and it chemistry not common knowledge? Philistine subby

Bourbon is (primarily) pretty foul stuff, although if you get a single cask one that's properly aged it's very drinkable. It's main purpose is to break in a virgin wood cask so the seasoned wood can be used for scotch later.

Whomever said that distilled spirits originated in the USA is a moran who has no idea how young his country is.

15 Jun 2012 04:14 PM
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SultanofSchwing     
The_Sponge: Jument: Crown Royal is kind of shiatty. Scotch comes from across the pond.

/Canadian so I'm allowed to say that
//the CR "dark" is especially nasty IMHO


The one thing I don't get about my friends:

They have good taste when it comes to cigars, wine, restaurants, etc. But a lot of them always buy Canadian whiskey......like if there's a party, etc. I'm I'm going to bring whiskey to an event, I'm bringing Jack or Maker's Mark.


You both should just resign yourself to drinking Daquiri's..."Crown Royal is bad," what the hell?

15 Jun 2012 04:14 PM
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croesius     
The phenolic band-aid experience can also come from homebrews. If the the brewer happened to be careless with their sanitation, at any step along the process, you can get the same issue, among others.

15 Jun 2012 04:15 PM
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jst3p     
Link

Semi-relevant and funny, even though it contains an improper use of the word "ironic".

(NSFW video)

15 Jun 2012 04:15 PM
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Incredulous    [TotalFark]  
Hudson Baby Bourbon whiskey that doesn't taste like bourbon (a good thing, in case you're wondering).

15 Jun 2012 04:15 PM
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misanthropic1     
cannotsuggestaname: [www.shop4whisky.com image 349x600]

does not smell like band-aids


[www.scotlandstephenson.com image 640x640]

most certainly does not smell like band-aids, or varnish, or any of those other things they attribute to scotch in the article.


Man after me own heart.

/also fond of Cragganmore and Dalwhinnie in all incantations

15 Jun 2012 04:15 PM
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keylock71    [TotalFark]  
Jument: Crown Royal is kind of shiatty. Scotch comes from across the pond.

Not a big fan of CR.

Yeah, I know... Hence the name of it. : )


More of a Canadian Club man, myself. Seagram's works in a pinch, too.

I prefer Paddy or Jameson with regards to Irish whiskeys.

Like I said, Scotch tastes like gasoline to me. I won't even touch the stuff if I have access to Irish or Canadian whiskey.

Not slagging scotch drinkers, mind you, it's just not for me.

15 Jun 2012 04:15 PM
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Hack Patooey    [TotalFark]  
My square foot of land at the Laphroaig distillery frown at this headline.

15 Jun 2012 04:16 PM
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Your Company's Computer Guy     
All brown liquor tastes the same, like rotten wood.

15 Jun 2012 04:16 PM
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Rent Party     
rocinante721: For those who like smoky things, try Connemara Irish Whiskey

[whiskey.cocktailenthusiast.com image 360x480]

If you really like to rock the funky beat, mix 1:3 Connemara cask strength to Powers Irish.

Mmmmmmmmm ...


The distinguishing feature of Irish Whiskey is that the grains are toasted over a clean burning fuel rather than peat, leaving one to taste the sweetness of the grains rather than the smoke of the fuel.

What you have there isn't an Irish Whiskey, you have a scotch whiskey distilled in Ireland.

15 Jun 2012 04:16 PM
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The_Sponge    [TotalFark]  
SultanofSchwing: You both should just resign yourself to drinking Daquiri's..."Crown Royal is bad," what the hell?


I don't actually think it's bad....I just think there are better whiskies out there for the same price point. That being said, I do order some on occasion, or have a bottle resting on the bar in my garage.

However,

Canadian Club sucks, and it's only worth drinking if you're enjoying a Mad Men marathon.

15 Jun 2012 04:18 PM
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Rent Party     
Scotch tastes like feet and smells like band-aids.

15 Jun 2012 04:19 PM
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MoronLessOff     
You know what Black Label always tasted like to me? Iodine.

15 Jun 2012 04:20 PM
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emotion_lotion     
Woodford Reserve for me.

It is a bit expensive but man, just the right amount of oak and smoke.

MMMMMMM. "Oak and Smoke"

Hey I think that's a good name for my new BBQ resturant I own in my head.

15 Jun 2012 04:20 PM
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croesius     
As far as peaty scotch goes, I haven't had too many, but I did have a glass of Lagavulin 16 after a tremendous steak dinner at a little restaurant in New Oreleans.

Much enjoyed!

15 Jun 2012 04:20 PM
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just passing through     
While I enjoy Scotch, I'm an equal opportunity drinker. I enjoy all alcohol. But, I don't think Scotch smells like band-aids.

15 Jun 2012 04:20 PM
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misanthropic1     
SultanofSchwing: The_Sponge: Jument: Crown Royal is kind of shiatty. Scotch comes from across the pond.

/Canadian so I'm allowed to say that
//the CR "dark" is especially nasty IMHO


The one thing I don't get about my friends:

They have good taste when it comes to cigars, wine, restaurants, etc. But a lot of them always buy Canadian whiskey......like if there's a party, etc. I'm I'm going to bring whiskey to an event, I'm bringing Jack or Maker's Mark.

You both should just resign yourself to drinking Daquiri's..."Crown Royal is bad," what the hell?


Crown Royal is bad for me... it goes down like water so I'm prone to drinking entirely too much of it in a sitting. Never really got bourbon though; I like gentleman jack (Tennessee charcoal filter, not bourbon; I know) and Maker's Mark is certainly drinkable, but for the money I'd just assume buy from across the pond.

/no accounting for taste I suppose

15 Jun 2012 04:21 PM
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wrenchboy     
The_Sponge: wrenchboy: TheDumbBlonde: Bourbon smells like bad decisions.

You need to stop hanging out with Trailer Trash who drink Jack Daniels so they can have their trailer park cred.



Since when is Jack considered bourbon?


Good point. For some reason I almost always find bourbon next stocked to the bottles of Jack, and that just pisses me off.

But yeah drinking Jack=bad decisions

15 Jun 2012 04:21 PM
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jst3p     
Your Company's Computer Guy: All brown liquor tastes the same, like rotten wood.

Gonna have to disagree with you:

2.bp.blogspot.com

15 Jun 2012 04:21 PM
Reply
findthefish    [TotalFark]  
Interesting historical note: this is actually why in all those old-timey cartoons where there are backwoods still operators making their whiskey up in the West Virginia mountains, you always see them drinking out of clay jugs. They knew that they had to decant the whiskey first (and don't get confused by the alternating usage of "scotch" and "whiskey"; what you hear called "scotch" is just what they called it in Scotland after they learned the techniques in America), and so what they would do is make the whiskey in the still, pour it into the bottle to age, and then pour it into their jug when it was ready to decant. Oh, and PROTIP: Remember to NEVER pour back in the bottle from the jug...re-exposure to the glass can ruin the scotch (it's called "glassing" it) and that can really suck. Just keep it in whatever jug you pour it into.

This does not make sense....no distilled alcohol "ages" in glass. It is aged in wood barrels.

15 Jun 2012 04:25 PM
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Bruxellensis     
Hack Patooey: My square foot of land at the Laphroaig distillery frown at this headline.

Friends of Laphroaig!

15 Jun 2012 04:25 PM
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