This falls far below the satirical standards of even Mad.

I knew this whole "50 Shades" mania had gotten out of hand when I saw PBS was producing this spin-off of American Masters.

So, women and men both like to be titillated but women prefer to be aroused by slightly different means. Also, somebody sh*t in this woman's Wheaties this morning.

Apos: This falls far below the satirical standards of even Mad.

Yet it's going green. Yay for fetish threads I suppose.

Well duh.

My takeaway from this is that women have a higher tolerance for crappy literature.

Now excuse me while I pick my toenails with a fork.

I'm lost, who and/or what are we outraged at this time?

or put more succinctly (albeit tritely) by Good Charlotte

Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money

/film at 11

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: I'm lost, who and/or what are we outraged at this time?

Mediocre satire websites.

So you're saying women are magpies?

NuttierThanEver: or put more succinctly (albeit tritely) by Good Charlotte

Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money

/film at 11

But there the girls who are boys, who like boys to be girls, who do boys like they're girls and do girls like they're boys. In the end, however, it should be someone you really love.

Killer Cars: NuttierThanEver: or put more succinctly (albeit tritely) by Good Charlotte

Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money

/film at 11

But there the girls who are boys, who like boys to be girls, who do boys like they're girls and do girls like they're boys. In the end, however, it should be someone you really love.

Ahh, a Blur reference, can't say I saw that coming when I entered this thread.

Was this article a stab at humor? If so, the writer should stop.

/Penthouse Letters ring a bell? Anyone?

:-)

My gf's mom started talking about this book when we were visiting. WTF awkwardness ensued. I said to hell with it, walked away, and started playing fetch with her Llahsa Apso.

/those things are cute, fluffy, mean, and have a close resemblance to Ewoks which is awesome.

Well, duh. If he's sexually subjugated, he should be picking your toenails during CSI:Miami.

So lets recap.

If this article is a shot at humor - it fails.

If this article is real - the author is insinuating that all women are merely whores who will only put out like this for rich men who buy them things. Rather than the man they're with that they claim they "love." Thus meaning the "emotional bond" women supposedly need to become sexually open is entirely bullshiat, as all you need is shiny shiat and she'll let you tie her up all day long.

Regardless of whichever side this article actually skews towards.

Noted.

I've been hitting the bar in leather chaps and carrying a whip lately, but I just seem to attract the wrong crowd.

she just got to the fisting part me thinks....

Dear Author,

Your humor,and your point,is bad and you should feel bad!

It might be that men like written porn, they just don't like poorly written porn. And that's coming from a guy who reads his share of lame 'I never thought I'd have this happen to me' Forum type crap.

If this article is real that dude's girlfriend sounds like a total coont and he should probably cheat on her. She's probably cheating on him already.

Dear Penthouse Letters,
I never thought it would happen to me, but...

Oblig:

50 Shades of Grey Parody!

I came for Horatio Caine puns and leave bitterly disappointed.

Wow, quite an angry piece...but, really, from the few excerpts that I've read, I wouldn't be able to read the "book" in question as pr0n, I'd be laughing too hard. Doesn't even sound remotely sexy....

My mom told me she's reading this book. I don't her I don't want her associating with that kind of trash, but I wasn't talking about the sex. She buys me Thomas Friedman books which are almost as bad.

Please, Shades of Grey is BDSM porn for Mormons. It's to real BDSM what Olive Garden is to real Italian food.

It is almost as if the author of the column has never heard the terms "erotica" or "romance novel"

I'm a pipe layer, not a plumber.

FTFA: I've known books can be sexy ever since I frotted myself raw to chapter five of James Herbert's The Rats aged 13.

It saddens me very deeply that I know exactly what he's talking about.

Bag of Hammers: Please, Shades of Grey is BDSM porn for Mormons. It's to real BDSM what Olive Garden is to real Italian food.

HEY! Dont you speak ill of the OG son!

I give this article a resounding "Meh."

...businessman Christian Grey and college graduate Anastasia Steele...
Really? Really?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!

Bad satire is bad.

Bag of Hammers: Please, Shades of Grey is BDSM porn for Mormons. It's to real BDSM what Olive Garden is to real Italian food.

Olive Garden has Italian food, since when?

Apos: This falls far below the satirical standards of even Mad.

Except that it's hardly satire. You could change about 5% of the words (to remove the sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek tone), and you'd have the top level summary of a relevant news article. It's kind of sad.

Weidbrewer: FTFA: I've known books can be sexy ever since I frotted myself raw to chapter five of James Herbert's The Rats aged 13.

It saddens me very deeply that I know exactly what he's talking about.

Looks up "The Rats." Reads summary?

It saddens me that I have no idea what you are talking about.

Link NSFW.

/just sayin

Jim from Saint Paul: Link NSFW.

/just sayin

I have a friend that writes on there. Last I looked there were 10-15 parts to the story, and the writing was above average.

To be fair, would you rather I actually watch CSI? Foot hygiene is very important. I've you've ever had an ingrown toe nail, you already know this.

Exception Collection: Jim from Saint Paul: Link NSFW.

/just sayin

I have a friend that writes on there. Last I looked there were 10-15 parts to the story, and the writing was above average.

Tell her to knock that crap off and get to the good parts already!

Cheron: Bag of Hammers: Please, Shades of Grey is BDSM porn for Mormons. It's to real BDSM what Olive Garden is to real Italian food.

Olive Garden has Italian food, since when?

i have a 25 dollar gift card to Olive Garden.

just can't seem to find a good reason to go.

/Great Value manicotti from Wal-Mart tastes EXACTLY like the manicotti you could get from Olive Garden. I mean farking exactly.

Nana's Vibrator: Exception Collection: Jim from Saint Paul: Link NSFW.

/just sayin

I have a friend that writes on there. Last I looked there were 10-15 parts to the story, and the writing was above average.

Tell her to knock that crap off and get to the good parts already!

That takes like 2 or 3 chapters of course.

Yes, us men are stupid. Us men only good for starting fire, squashing bugs, bringing home bacon and fixing cars. Us men no read. Us men no find clitoris, us men stupid.

Nana's Vibrator: Exception Collection: Jim from Saint Paul: Link NSFW.

/just sayin

I have a friend that writes on there. Last I looked there were 10-15 parts to the story, and the writing was above average.

Tell her to knock that crap off and get to the good parts already!

There's good parts in almost every chapter; it's about a member of a brothelish group, and each chapter is a different "customer" or situation.

is this about 50 shades of grey?

Francesca Johnson, Mr Cook's girlfriend, explained: "Sexual subjugation is hugely arousing when practised with a devastatingly handsome multi-millionaire who buys you iPads and Audis, less so with someone who picks his toenails during CSI: Miami."

Allow me to translate: It's much sexier to be a real whore for someone who buys me stuff than it is to be a pretend whore for the guy that puts up with my shiat.

frepnog: Cheron: Bag of Hammers: Please, Shades of Grey is BDSM porn for Mormons. It's to real BDSM what Olive Garden is to real Italian food.

Olive Garden has Italian food, since when?

i have a 25 dollar gift card to Olive Garden.

just can't seem to find a good reason to go.

/Great Value manicotti from Wal-Mart tastes EXACTLY like the manicotti you could get from Olive Garden. I mean farking exactly.

Just order alcohol and eat breadsticks.

Strategeryz0r:

If this article is real - the author is insinuating that all women are merely whores who will only put out like this for rich men who buy them things. Rather than the man they're with that they claim they "love." Thus meaning the "emotional bond" women supposedly need to become sexually open is entirely bullshiat, as all you need is shiny shiat and she'll let you tie her up all day long.


I know, it's crazy. But it's true.

Slaves2Darkness: Yes, us men are stupid. Us men only good for starting fire, squashing bugs, bringing home bacon and fixing cars. Us men no read. Us men no find clitoris, us men stupid.

What's a "clitoris"?

Rent Party: Allow me to translate: It's much sexier to be a real whore for someone who buys me stuff than it is to be a pretend whore for the guy that puts up with my shiat.

Spot on.

HotWingConspiracy: I've been hitting the bar in leather chaps and carrying a whip lately, but I just seem to attract the wrong crowd.

Try giving classmates a ride home and forgetting that your chaps, crop, and spurs are in the backseat. Awkward stares the whole drive.

/my fault for having a pink whip