Heheheh... Caught this via the "Evolution is True Blog" (link to blog post ^{(^)}), and found it hilarious. I figured some of you TFDers could use some deep universal wisdom this morning/day/afternoon/evening/night.

Did you know? "Knowledge illuminates cosmic joy"

:D

"Cats are plants".

/There's a koan for you.

"The unexplainable transcends visible sexual energy"

I hear that from lots of women.

"Intuition regulates subtle creativity"

/I mean, I guess it does?
//amusing link, thanks subby

BurnShrike: "The unexplainable transcends visible sexual energy"

I hear that from lots of women.

I'm thinking "sexual energy" is a word pair here. I just got this:

"Imagination embraces infinite sexual energy"

Culture is rooted in quantum joy

what an asswadd

I just got "Elephants are plants"

WTF?

I'm thinking they word choices aren't completely random with random choices being taken from a list of subjects, verbs, and objects. I got a "kittens are birds" quote.

I think there's a separate group of "[animals] are [something]" words that don't seem to overlap with the real Deepities. Unless someone gets something about kittens being routed in cosmic sexual energy or something, in which case, I'll be happy to be disproven. ;)

I almost wish I had a Kinect so I could check out that video game of his.

From the cover, it looks like it's best played while tripping balls.

I like Deepak. His voice is really relaxing and his medical advice is "daily massages"

I dunno about you, but if I could get a doctor to tell my girlfriend we need daily oil massages I'd pay him/her a nice lump of silver.

Aarontology: I almost wish I had a Kinect so I could check out that video game of his.

From the cover, it looks like it's best played while tripping balls.

His stuff's more for pot people. You wanna be MEEEELLOOOOOW. Ya dig?

Green? Wow!

Well, you know what Deepak might possibly say...

"Greatness is the ground of self-righteous space time events"

:D

doglover: His stuff's more for pot people. You wanna be MEEEELLOOOOOW. Ya dig?

I don't know much about him, but the cover looked like it had fractals and things like that.

"I watch you while you sleep. And wait."

HEY WHAT IS THIS

"Infinity creates your own experiences"

"Knowledge is beyond cosmic sexual energy"

Having met Deepak, I bet he'd find this hilarious. He has a really good sense of humor about this stuff.

That being said, he is a bit derp-tastic.

Wherever you go, there you are.

I'm so hungry I could eat the south end of a northbound mule.

"Hard to say, not Knowin"

Hmm. Is this a reverse-Turing?

"Kittens embrace infinite sexual energy"


/ok, may have made that one up

"God nurtures boundless opportunities"

My wife was working at a Borders in Cary, NC when he showed up to do a book signing. He came right in, came right up to the information desk where she was working, and gibbered incoherently at her, giggling and asking when the famous man Deepak Chopra would be there. She thought he was an escaped mental patient or something, but then his publisher's agent came in and explained what was going on. (Apparently the agent had her hands full with him at such events.)

Creepiest author my wife ever had to interact with.

/csb

vernonFL

Wherever you go, there you are.

You are where you come from.

mamoru: BurnShrike: "The unexplainable transcends visible sexual energy"

I hear that from lots of women.

I'm thinking "sexual energy" is a word pair here. I just got this:

"Imagination embraces infinite sexual energy"

I do believe you are correct. I got

"Hidden meaning is the wisdom of boundless sexual energy"

"Your desire depends on infinite energy"

Well shiat.

Depth is only as illuminating as the effulgence.

BurnShrike: I just got "Elephants are plants"

WTF?

"Dogs are llamas." here.

mamoru: "Imagination embraces infinite sexual energy"

Darn straight, it does! Every chance I get to daydream, at the very least.

doglover: I like Deepak. His voice is really relaxing and his medical advice is "daily massages"

I dunno about you, but if I could get a doctor to tell my girlfriend we need daily oil massages I'd pay him/her a nice lump of silver.

I prescribe daily happy endings.

Okay, this one sounds like the premise of a bad sci-fi book.

"The universe requires reckless space time events"

"Your movement projects onto great sensations."

I really need to make sure my shades are pulled all the way down.

"Mice are llamas"
"Orderliness requires boundless happiness"
"The cosmos is beyond infinite sexual energy"
"Eternal stillness illuminates quantum life"
"Rats are sterile"

...

My gf and I made an answering machine message of strung together Deepak phrases and Jean Luc Ponty as background music.

The message started, "You have reached an eternal reference point. Our probability amplitudes have been temporarily projected onto a non-local field of information..."

Forgot the rest. Just pull out a book about quantum mechanics and randomly pick some words. It would be the same.

/Fark Deepak
//Fark the tools who make him rich.

Your random fictional Deepak Chopra quote is...

"Everything is beyond total happiness"

Wait, I think I have a coupon ...

They make pretty good fortune cookie fortunes:

The world is the wisdom of unique experiences.
Learn Chinese - New Age Teachings: 滿口胡言 mankou huyan
Lucky numbers 18-27-37-47-53

Every line it made was nonsense. There's nowhere near enough words in its database. To do this right you should do a statistical analysis of a couple of his books, tracking how often a given word follows each occurence of a particular word, and how far apart they are. This identifies not only common phrases, but also writing style. Analyse enough books and such a program could write a fairly short one that even Deepak himself would approve of.

offmymeds: BurnShrike: I just got "Elephants are plants"

WTF?

"Dogs are llamas." here.

[i1136.photobucket.com image 150x200]

Are you suggesting that the Chopra has the reefer madness? That could explain it.

Quantum physics means anything can happen at any time for no reason.

Also, animals have never had a war. Who's the real animal?

Any of you tempted to say he's a con-man taking advantage of the gullible ought to know that you're just being smug and conceited.

"The ego requires universal facts."

spaceman375: Every line it made was nonsense.

thatsthejoke.jpg

'Freedom transcends an expression of knowledge'

/must...buy...book
//drool

Bwahahahaha. I read all of his "quotes" in his voice and they were both freakin' hilarious AND authentic-sounding. Sweet!

"Nature inspires unique sexual energies."

Get away from those squirrels, you sick bastard.

BurnShrike: I just got "Elephants are plants"

WTF?

Well, there are a lot of brain-dead vegetables in the GOP...

*ba dum bum bssh*

"Dogs are sterile"

/if this was true, we wouldn't have the Mayry Povich show.

My name may sound like 'chopped okra' but I make less sense.

Cool.

Marine1: [hirestandards.files.wordpress.com image 630x507]

Quantum physics means anything can happen at any time for no reason.

Also, animals have never had a war. Who's the real animal?

Right on, Dr. Freaksworth!

Who?