Report This Ad (full site)
Fark.com

Back To Main
   Starting your day off by downing a six-pack of beer in a grocery store parking lot is a good indicator the rest of the day is likely to go downhill

23 Jun 2012 12:42 PM   |   4496 clicks   |   Patch
Add Comment
Showing 1-50 of 51 comments
Refresh Page 2
gopher321    [TotalFark]  
Says you.

23 Jun 2012 12:38 PM
Reply
AverageAmericanGuy     
Things are just starting to look up.

23 Jun 2012 12:43 PM
Reply
urban.derelict     
Drinking that early is great because you can get drunk, pass out, wake up and get drunk again -- twice, on the same day!

23 Jun 2012 12:43 PM
Reply
CalamitousCrasher     
urban.derelict: Drinking that early is great because you can get drunk, pass out, wake up and get drunk again -- twice, on the same day!

This. It's even better with a side of wake n bake.

23 Jun 2012 12:47 PM
Reply
lenfromak    [TotalFark]  
But then, those who don't, when they wake up, that's as good as they are going to feel all day.

23 Jun 2012 12:47 PM
Reply
Shaggy_C     
22 years old and getting drunk at 8am? Acceptable if you're in Daytona during Spring Break and surrounded by a crew of other young delinquents. Doing it by yourself in bumfark, Georgia? Not so much. Sad that someone's life could be that farked at that young an age.

23 Jun 2012 12:48 PM
Reply
skinink     

No Budweiser, no cry.


NO BUDWEISER, NO CRY!


o1.aolcdn.com


23 Jun 2012 12:49 PM
Reply
Trance750    [TotalFark]  
greenobles.com

23 Jun 2012 12:49 PM
Reply
Professczar     
Subby,

The report stated the man was drinking Bud Ice. It said nothing about beer.

RTFA.

23 Jun 2012 12:49 PM
Reply
Enemabag Jones     
I used to buy a six-pack of beer when I would get my third shift job at about 7am, usually on a Friday.

Guessing the above isn't the person above as I didn't down it in the parking lot. Just don't assume that someone buying booze or even drinking during the day is a problem drinker.

23 Jun 2012 12:51 PM
Reply
AverageAmericanGuy     
On a serious note, I feel uncomfortable with the way we Farkers seem to glamorize alcoholism.

Its a serious problem. Hopefully this guy gets the help he needs.

23 Jun 2012 12:51 PM
Reply
Lurk sober post drunk     
Shaggy_C: 22 years old and getting drunk at 8am? Acceptable if you're in Daytona during Spring Break and surrounded by a crew of other young delinquents. Doing it by yourself in bumfark, Georgia? Not so much. Sad that someone's life could be that farked at that young an age.

yeah, sad life. and while the homeless guy was obviously in the wrong, i couldn't help but feel sad that now his car is impounded and his dogs are in the animal shelter. everyone loses?

23 Jun 2012 12:51 PM
Reply
Minimally Hairy Beer-Powered Simian     
"8 AM in the morning"......as opposed to 8 AM happening some other time of the day?

23 Jun 2012 12:51 PM
Reply
SDRR     
I only down the first one in the parking lot. The rest I finish off on the drive home, so I'm good.

23 Jun 2012 12:52 PM
Reply
swingbozo     
Sounds like yesterday. Should I not have done that?

23 Jun 2012 12:52 PM
Reply
dalovindj     
This would have been such an awesome story. You've got a dude being forever immortalized on the internet drinking Bud Ice, the Marley wannabe mugshot, the free will nonsense lines at the end. But the dogs thing really ruins it for me. Animal cruelty. Those poor guys will probably get put down, and given the lives they are living with this homeless douchebag thief, that's probably the merciful thing to do.

Don't get pets if you can't afford them.

23 Jun 2012 12:53 PM
Reply
WhippingBoy    [TotalFark]  
AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, I feel uncomfortable with the way we Farkers seem to glamorize alcoholism.

Its a serious problem. Hopefully this guy gets the help he needs.


What the hell are you talking about? Alcoholism is what sets us apart from the animals. Well, except for the African Drinking Spider, but still.

23 Jun 2012 12:57 PM
Reply
Enemabag Jones     
WhippingBoy
AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, I feel uncomfortable with the way we Farkers seem to glamorize alcoholism.
Its a serious problem. Hopefully this guy gets the help he needs.
What the hell are you talking about? Alcoholism is what sets us apart from the animals. Well, except for the African Drinking Spider, but still.


Prior art:
Link

23 Jun 2012 01:06 PM
Reply
PacManDreaming    [TotalFark]  
Enemabag Jones: I used to buy a six-pack of beer when I would get my third shift job at about 7am, usually on a Friday.

Guessing the above isn't the person above as I didn't down it in the parking lot. Just don't assume that someone buying booze or even drinking during the day is a problem drinker.


After trying to read your post, I'm guessing that you're a problem drinker.

Lurk sober post drunk: and while the homeless guy was obviously in the wrong, i couldn't help but feel sad that now his car is impounded and his dogs are in the animal shelter. everyone loses?

Pretty much what I was thinking. The guy probably isn't going to be able to afford to get his car out of the impound lot or get his dogs out of the animal shelter. So, the guy will probably lose his car and the dogs will more than likely get euthanized. Oh well, at least some cop got to be "tough on crime".

23 Jun 2012 01:10 PM
Reply
Mr. Potatoass     
Where I'm from, asleep drunk with keys in ignition = DUI.

23 Jun 2012 01:13 PM
Reply
wambu    [TotalFark]  
You need some Fritos with that beer to balance things out, improve your day.

23 Jun 2012 01:16 PM
Reply
Enemabag Jones     
PacManDreaming
Enemabag Jones: I used to buy a six-pack of beer when I would get my third shift job at about 7am, usually on a Friday.
Guessing the above isn't the person above as I didn't down it in the parking lot. Just don't assume that someone buying booze or even drinking during the day is a problem drinker.


I suppose if you want to start pulling out the newer MADD based definitions, I could be defined as one. Otherwise not.

23 Jun 2012 01:18 PM
Reply
urban.derelict     
Shaggy_C: 22 years old and getting drunk at 8am? Acceptable if you're in Daytona during Spring Break and surrounded by a crew of other young delinquents. Doing it by yourself in bumfark, Georgia? Not so much. Sad that someone's life could be that farked at that young an age.

AverageAmericanGuy: Its a serious problem. Hopefully this guy gets the help he needs.

lh6.googleusercontent.com

/22! LEGALLY OLD ENOUGH TO F*CKING DRINK, WHENEVER HE F*CKING WANTS
//go beat your own f*cking kids ffs

23 Jun 2012 01:18 PM
Reply
kidsizedcoffin     
A 6 pack gets people intoxicated?

23 Jun 2012 01:25 PM
Reply
ghare     
shiat, if I'm fishing, I've had a 6 pack down before 8. Of course, I've been up since 3, I'm not homeless, and neither are my dogs.

23 Jun 2012 01:25 PM
Reply
Jon iz teh kewl     
Professczar: Subby,

The report stated the man was drinking Bud Ice. It said nothing about beer.

RTFA.


static.grindtv.com

aussie for BEER@!

23 Jun 2012 01:27 PM
Reply
Hector Remarkable     
Homeless people should not have pets.

23 Jun 2012 01:27 PM
Reply
born_yesterday     
Enemabag Jones: PacManDreaming
Enemabag Jones: I used to buy a six-pack of beer when I would get my third shift job at about 7am, usually on a Friday.
Guessing the above isn't the person above as I didn't down it in the parking lot. Just don't assume that someone buying booze or even drinking during the day is a problem drinker.

I suppose if you want to start pulling out the newer MADD based definitions, I could be defined as one. Otherwise not.


You mean "Have you ever had a drink ever?" "Did you enjoy it?"

/And thanks for the drunken monkeys!

23 Jun 2012 01:31 PM
Reply
malaktaus     
Minimally Hairy Beer-Powered Simian: "8 AM in the morning"......as opposed to 8 AM happening some other time of the day?

8 A.M. is early evening in the southern hemisphere, they're just covering their asses in the event that an Australian reads this article.
/true story

23 Jun 2012 01:34 PM
Reply
Jon iz teh kewl     
malaktaus: Minimally Hairy Beer-Powered Simian: "8 AM in the morning"......as opposed to 8 AM happening some other time of the day?

8 A.M. is early evening in the southern hemisphere, they're just covering their asses in the event that an Australian reads this article.
/true story


g'day mate care for some VEGETMITE

23 Jun 2012 01:36 PM
Reply
rosonowski     
Enemabag Jones: I used to buy a six-pack of beer when I would get my third shift job at about 7am, usually on a Friday.

Guessing the above isn't the person above as I didn't down it in the parking lot. Just don't assume that someone buying booze or even drinking during the day is a problem drinker.


In New York, (or at least Erie County) you can't buy alcohol until eight AM. I worked third shift, and I would get out of work at 7:30a, then I would go pick out beer. Most of the time, I would roll up to the register just after 8:01a... sometimes, I'd get in a few minutes early by their clock, and I would have to wait, letting people pass me by. I was working third shift for a few years, and let me tell you, people don't look at you thinking 'Oh, he just got off a long day of work and he wants a beer or two to finish out his day", ESPECIALLY when you rode your bike to work (it's a nice night, why not, right?)

23 Jun 2012 01:40 PM
Reply
Jon iz teh kewl     
rosonowski: Enemabag Jones: I used to buy a six-pack of beer when I would get my third shift job at about 7am, usually on a Friday.

Guessing the above isn't the person above as I didn't down it in the parking lot. Just don't assume that someone buying booze or even drinking during the day is a problem drinker.

In New York, (or at least Erie County) you can't buy alcohol until eight AM. I worked third shift, and I would get out of work at 7:30a, then I would go pick out beer. Most of the time, I would roll up to the register just after 8:01a... sometimes, I'd get in a few minutes early by their clock, and I would have to wait, letting people pass me by. I was working third shift for a few years, and let me tell you, people don't look at you thinking 'Oh, he just got off a long day of work and he wants a beer or two to finish out his day", ESPECIALLY when you rode your bike to work (it's a nice night, why not, right?)


how do you carry a beer while riding a bicycle
isn't that dangerous

23 Jun 2012 01:42 PM
Reply
dalovindj     
Jon iz teh kewl: how do you carry a beer while riding a bicycle

www.geekologie.com

23 Jun 2012 01:52 PM
Reply
dalovindj     
GIS for 'bicycle beer' turns up several gems:

drinkbeerridebikes.files.wordpress.com

www.instablogsimages.com

ruedatropical.com

23 Jun 2012 01:55 PM
Reply
rosonowski     
Jon iz teh kewl: how do you carry a beer while riding a bicycle

Well, I did it with a backpack, but those are some other ways to go about it... think most people looked at me like 'Oh, he's an alcoholic who lost his liscence', not 'Oh, he's burning off those beer calories ahead of time'.

23 Jun 2012 02:01 PM
Reply
Trance750    [TotalFark]  
dalovindj: Jon iz teh kewl: how do you carry a beer while riding a bicycle

[www.geekologie.com image 450x450]


Now that is AWESOME!

23 Jun 2012 02:02 PM
Reply
Shaggy_C     
If you don't have someone to do it with it's not worth doing...

munchkinwrangler.files.wordpress.com

23 Jun 2012 02:04 PM
Reply
TuteTibiImperes    [TotalFark]  
Well I woke up this morning, I got myself a beer

/the futures uncertain, the end is always near
//let it roll baby roll

23 Jun 2012 02:10 PM
Reply
The Smails Kid     
When I woke up this morning
Things were lookin' bad
Seemed like total silence
Was the only friend I had

A bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down
And won

It was 12 o'clock before I realized I was having
No fun

Ah, but fortunately, I have the key to escape reality.

23 Jun 2012 02:23 PM
Reply
Woot_Gawd     
I generally wake up at 7...play some poker online until the beer store opens at 9...grab 6 16oz cans, finish three in alleys back home...finish the other three playing poker until the bus to the casino, more poker and free beer at senaca niagara...come home at 11, smoke a joint and go to bed...you farkers enjoy your cubicles!

23 Jun 2012 02:45 PM
Reply
KrispyKritter    [TotalFark]  
AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, I feel uncomfortable with the way we Farkers seem to glamorize alcoholism.

Its a serious problem. Hopefully this guy gets the help he needs.


re alcoholism, maybe so. but where's there's Fark there's snark.

23 Jun 2012 03:12 PM
Reply
OhioUGrad     
urban.derelict: Drinking that early is great because you can get drunk, pass out, wake up and get drunk again -- twice, on the same day!

It's always interesting to be drunk in the afternoon on a weekday and see normal people in their every day lives, at least I think so.

23 Jun 2012 03:17 PM
Reply
TsarTom    [TotalFark]  
The Smails Kid: When I woke up this morning
Things were lookin' bad
Seemed like total silence
Was the only friend I had

A bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down
And won

It was 12 o'clock before I realized I was having
No fun

Ah, but fortunately, I have the key to escape reality.


Pretty sure that song's about weed, but love me some Prine, so I'm happy either way.

I feel for the bastard. Homeless, doesn't have much, but got a car, dogs, and at least a couple worldly possessions. Cop comes by and makes it all go away with the snap of his fingers. Car's impounded, worldly goods impounded, dogs impounded. 189 bucks gone. I'm sure that's quite a bit of money for him. Bad farking day.
I feel for him.

23 Jun 2012 03:36 PM
Reply
Jon iz teh kewl     
rosonowski: Jon iz teh kewl: how do you carry a beer while riding a bicycle

Well, I did it with a backpack, but those are some other ways to go about it... think most people looked at me like 'Oh, he's an alcoholic who lost his liscence', not 'Oh, he's burning off those beer calories ahead of time'.


all i can say is HA HA i don't work at a crummy supermarket!!

23 Jun 2012 03:45 PM
Reply
clowncar on fire     
DNRTFA.. Sounds like we may an amateur on our hands. Anyone on Fark care comment?

23 Jun 2012 04:05 PM
Reply
LovingTeacher     
AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, I feel uncomfortable with the way we Farkers seem to glamorize alcoholism.

Its a serious problem. Hopefully this guy gets the help he needs.


As an alcoholic I agree but you gotta admit that the shiat that we get up to when we drink is pretty funny. And as others have said, "where there's fark there's snarl".

23 Jun 2012 04:13 PM
Reply
Lsherm    [TotalFark]  
kidsizedcoffin: A 6 pack gets people intoxicated?

Bud Ice has a slightly higher alcohol content than regular Budweiser (5.5% vs. 5.0%) so a six pack of Bud Ice is like drinking 6.6 regular Budweisers. It's that extra 0.6 that really gets you.

Beer Calculator

23 Jun 2012 04:14 PM
Reply
ski9600     
I can understand the situation. You wake up, find $4.39 in your shorts and decide that it might be nice to have a beer. You look around and you're in your car with your dogs and they are happy and ready to take on the day. So you drive your car to the Publix and sure enough they have beer. You try to purchase just one cold one, and they say you have to buy the whole 6 pack. Ok, give them the $4.39.
Well, the other 5 beers are going to go bad if you don't drink them now so you proceed.
Dog needs to pee, don't want that in the car so out they go.
/Cop shows up, and that's how it went

23 Jun 2012 05:01 PM
Reply
Jon iz teh kewl     
the cheapest beer around here is $4.49 and that's BEFORE tax

23 Jun 2012 05:26 PM
Reply
Irving Maimway    [TotalFark]  
Trance750:

Trance750, I just want you to know I farking hate you right now. Every GODDAM CHRISTMAS the wife cranks up the radio for that song, and right now I have those two lines stuck in my head, not just repeating, but repeating in Dan Farking Folgeberg's voice. I hate you, rot in hell.

/Can't believe no one else hates him and that song as much as I do.
/Grew up in the 70's
/Also forced to listen to "Rumours"

23 Jun 2012 07:18 PM
Reply
Showing 1-50 of 51 comments
Refresh Page 2
This thread is closed to new comments.


Back To Main

More Headlines:
Main | Sports | Business | Geek | Entertainment | Politics | Video | FarkUs | Contests | Fark Party