Repairman 1#: Homer, there's no easy way to tell you this: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to saw your arms off.
Homer: They'll grow back, right?
Repairman 1#: Oh... yeah.
[He cranks up the rotary saw and moves it toward Homer's arm... ]
Repairman 2#: Wait a minute. Homer, are you just holding on to the can?
Homer: Your point being...?

Great minds, rhondajeremy.

rhondajeremy: Repairman 1#: Homer, there's no easy way to tell you this: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to saw your arms off.
Homer: They'll grow back, right?
Repairman 1#: Oh... yeah.
[He cranks up the rotary saw and moves it toward Homer's arm... ]
Repairman 2#: Wait a minute. Homer, are you just holding on to the can?
Homer: Your point being...?

miss diminutive: [sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net image 500x375]

I was just going to post that he was a liar and was just trying to get out of going to the ballet. You guys are quick.

CSB:

I saw a kid do that in one of those shiatty "plastic ball with prize" gumball dispensers. He was screaming and pitching a royal shiat-fit as firemen sprayed silicone lube on his arm, up in the gumball machine, etc.

This went on for about 5 minutes, with the kid getting more and more agitated, screaming at the top of his lungs that it was stuck, etc.

One of the firemen said "Well, there's nothing left to do but chop it off" as he rocked his fire axe side to side by the handle, with the axe head resting against the top of his boot.

The little kid's eyes got about as big as saucers, and magically, he yanked his arm out of the machine with nothing more than a bruised ego to show for it.

Could have been a lot worse:



Then the scorpions come.

miss diminutive: Great minds, rhondajeremy.

you mean every mind.

Everybody thought of that.

Everybody.

Did they really need firemen? I bet while they were rescuing the boy, a lumber yard burned down.

"I only wanted a Sprite man, I only wanted a Sprite"


"I never got my Sprite"


This looks safe.

fusillade762: Could have been a lot worse:

[www.monzy.com image 212x375]

Then the scorpions come.

[img.photobucket.com image 512x384]

BEBOP

COLLLA

And this is why we need to regulate soft drinks - "just sugar" my ass

Walker: This looks safe.



They're going to have to answer to the Coca Cola company after that!

The teen was then taken into custody by police who said he may face charges for petty theft.
In the end, the teenager never got his soda.

Why theft if he never got the can out of the machine? I could see vandalism because his actions caused the machine to be destroyed, maybe trespassing or burglary since he was trying to break into somewhere to steal something.

I prefer Fuk Cola.

Walker: "I only wanted a Sprite man, I only wanted a Sprite"
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x490]

"I never got my Sprite"
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x433]

This looks safe.
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x366]

Wait a minute! Is that the little bastige? (drtfa)
If so, cut his f*cking arm off! Thieving bastard skate board punk!
Pay up or GTFO you lazy prick!
/too many of these entitled little shiats in my town.
//ruins things for everyone!

Current model Coca Cola machines are pretty good about single dispensing. But the non-Coca Cola machines in front of Wal-Marts tend to be low grade and susceptible to multiple presses. If you come across a non - Coca Cola machine just hit the button a bunch of times quickly.

wildcardjack: But the non-Coca Cola machines in front of Wal-Marts tend to be low grade and susceptible to multiple presses.

But just how many cans of Ol' Roy Soda do you really want to lug away in shame?

The All-Powerful Atheismo: miss diminutive: Great minds, rhondajeremy.

you mean every mind.

Everybody thought of that.

Everybody.

True, but I was the one who thought to tie up someone's bandwidth by hotlinking an image. That counts for something, right?

HighZoolander: And this is why we need to regulate soft drinks - "just sugar" my ass

kids these days, all hopped up and where you gonna go w hand stuck in the farking machine? nowhere. what's next? caffeine.

"I like when you reach into the vending machine to grab your candy bar, that flaps goes up to block you from reaching up. That's a good invention. Before that, it was hard times for the vending machine owners. 'What candy bar are you getting?' 'That one... and every one on the bottom row!'"

/hedberg

LOL, I was just about to submit this.

Pops

All he wanted was a pepsi, just one pepsi.

sexy-fetus: All he wanted was a pepsi, just one pepsi.

I'm not crazy!

I got what I came for in the Boobies.

McJudo: I got what I came for in the Boobies.

...fap?

The teen was then taken into custody by police who said he may face charges for petty theft.

Really, "petty theft"? Is there not an official charge for wasting loads of police/fire department time in San Diego? Maybe something with a fine on par with the hourly wages of everyone that had to come out at 5am to mitigate the results of self-inflicted stupidity?

WriteInCandidate: "'That one... and every one on the bottom row!'"

While that's a joke, the engineers of the machines take it seriously. There's a reason most vending models can't hold anything bigger than a pack of gum on the bottom row even with the second flap in there. (Gum costs the vendor something like 10 cents a pack, though it's usually sold for like a buck fifty).

I say just leave him there with his hand in the pop machine of shame for several days. Bet he won't do that again.

rhondajeremy: Repairman 1#: Homer, there's no easy way to tell you this: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to saw your arms off.
Homer: They'll grow back, right?
Repairman 1#: Oh... yeah.
[He cranks up the rotary saw and moves it toward Homer's arm... ]
Repairman 2#: Wait a minute. Homer, are you just holding on to the can?
Homer: Your point being...?

miss diminutive: [sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net image 500x375]

markie_farkie: Walker: This looks safe.

[www.spectacularoptical.ca image 500x333]

They're going to have to answer to the Coca Cola company after that!

Yes. These.

Stay classy, San Diego.

Jim_Callahan: The teen was then taken into custody by police who said he may face charges for petty theft.

Really, "petty theft"? Is there not an official charge for wasting loads of police/fire department time in San Diego? Maybe something with a fine on par with the hourly wages of everyone that had to come out at 5am to mitigate the results of self-inflicted stupidity?

WriteInCandidate: "'That one... and every one on the bottom row!'"

While that's a joke, the engineers of the machines take it seriously. There's a reason most vending models can't hold anything bigger than a pack of gum on the bottom row even with the second flap in there. (Gum costs the vendor something like 10 cents a pack, though it's usually sold for like a buck fifty).

I'd hope at a minimum the kid's family is on the hook for the cost of the vending machine and the cost of the rescue crew heading out. The perp spending the night in lockup might not be a bad idea either to give him some perspective on the consequences of theft.

I don't agree with victims having to pay for their rescue when their situations arise from chance or even poorly-thought-out, but legal, risk taking behavior, but I have no problem with those who are rescued due to their own criminal actions being made responsible for the full financial burden of their actions.

Farkenhostile: sexy-fetus: All he wanted was a pepsi, just one pepsi.

I'm not crazy!

We're afraid you're going to hurt someone, and we're afraid you're going to hurt yourself

I learned in college that tipping a soda machine will produce a can of soda, but that the machine was so heavy that two guys could barely manage it.

Not worth the effort or risk of being crushed and then fizzed to death.

/today I think they're made so that trick no longer works.

TuteTibiImperes: I don't agree with victims having to pay for their rescue when their situations arise from chance or even poorly-thought-out, but legal, risk taking behavior, but I have no problem with those who are rescued due to their own criminal actions being made responsible for the full financial burden of their actions.

Yeah, that's the line I would personally draw, too. I'm fine with saving people from their own stupid (at least to an extent), but if we're going to save them from complications related to them intentionally breaking the law I feel like they should pay us back the expense at minimum and maybe a small "fark you" fee on top of that.

T.M.S.: I prefer Fuk Cola.

I assume you mean bottles. Cans are... slicey.

Farkenhostile: The teen was then taken into custody by police who said he may face charges for petty theft.
In the end, the teenager never got his soda.

Why theft if he never got the can out of the machine? I could see vandalism because his actions caused the machine to be destroyed, maybe trespassing or burglary since he was trying to break into somewhere to steal something.

Similar rationale that placing an unpurchased item of merchandise in your pocket or otherwise secreting it on your person, or removing an item from its packaging, switching tags, etc. in a store is shoplifting, even if you never make it out of the store with the item. I believe it is that taking the step evidences an intent to complete the act that has been criminalized.

If the ute can convince the finder of fact that he did not intend to steal anything from the machine (unlikely) or he can prove that he had his arm in the machine for a legitimate reason, I think the charge will stick.

/Would have no problem letting him sit there for a few days under a sign that says "I am a thief".
//ITG

Came for Simpsons, leaving happy.

A friend of mine used to work for Coca-Cola, he would deal with the vending machines. At one point he had to go service one that was due to be removed. It was filled with quarters at the bottom of it, since for some silly reason whoever was in charge of it had not collected the money, but just would fill it back up with cans.

Some vending machines can weigh a lot (900 lbs+) and this one was full of change in the bottom, too. So, he and 3 other guys went to get it.

It was on a little hill, at the bottom of which was a compact car.

They move the machine a little, it gets away from them, carthwheels down the hill and squishes the parked car.

Coca-Cola bought the car's owner another compact car.

Jimbo Jones?

So the police, fire department, whatever other emergency services people didn't think to call the number on the side of the machine and get someone with a key to come out and open it?

I'm sure destoying it made for a more interesting story, but i reckon the owner would have come around to unlock it if they had been asked.

Never mind need to learn to read before commenting

ArmednHammered:
Wait a minute! Is that the little bastige? (drtfa)
If so, cut his f*cking arm off! Thieving bastard skate board punk!
Pay up or GTFO you lazy prick!
/too many of these entitled little shiats in my town.
//ruins things for everyone!

I am jealous of your community.
We're more focused on gang violence, overdoses, and pregnancy when it comes to problems with the young.
But, damn, skater kids? Wow. What a world.

Better than his hand getting stuck up the poop machine.......lemee tell ya......

I am really ashamed that I can't remember which Simpsons episode is being referenced. I plan to punish myself with a complete run through of all my Simpsons DVD's.

/ can I stop at season 12?
// my crimes weren't that bad, were they?

alwaysjaded: I am really ashamed that I can't remember which Simpsons episode is being referenced. I plan to punish myself with a complete run through of all my Simpsons DVD's.

/ can I stop at season 12?
// my crimes weren't that bad, were they?



Does that help?

falcontwin: So the police, fire department, whatever other emergency services people didn't think to call the number on the side of the machine and get someone with a key to come out and open it?

I'm sure destoying it made for a more interesting story, but i reckon the owner would have come around to unlock it if they had been asked.

so they just hang around until someone comes with a key?

The real culprit is unsurprisingly overlooked..

"Why, I bet a kid, thinking I was a role model and wanting to imitate my behavior, could easily steal sodas from a vending machine... too. DO IT! Do it now, kids! Stick it to the man! MUHAHAHAHA!!"

thesubliminalman: I say just leave him there with his hand in the pop machine of shame for several days. Bet he won't do that again.

pics of smeones lil angel sitting in his own stink might get a reaction. need to borrow a utility workers privacy screen & orange cones as camouflage.

stop by every three hours and taunt him with pizza and...yeah, you got it - cola.

miss diminutive:

Does that help?

"Ahh, the ballet"

Still in need of a Simpsons refresher course, post haste. I need to quit wallowing in self pity and go get drunk.

/ Thank you

Has he been turned into a meme yet?