we should hang them on general principals.

A billion here, a billion there... soon it adds up to real money.

That's good right??
/I was told there would be no Math.

If we're going to quibble over ever $7 billion discrepancy on this, we're never going to get anything done.

They've lost nearly 9 months worth of their income. Huge tragedy.

Why do we care that a big gambling/investment bank lost a pile of money?

They made $9+ billion? Great job. And everyone thinks these companies aren't responsible with their money.

/made $9+ billion disappear

Jump from orbit, you farkers.

JP Morgan Chase is insolvent. They are drown on junk derivatives and fraud.

9 billion? Stop this foolishness, and let them fail. They won't be so big once they fail.

its not even real money. its ok.

Jamie Dimon should be in jail.

So when is Dimon going to be charged with fraud for his lies to investors to protect his position and pay package?

Zel: Why do we care that a big gambling/investment bank lost a pile of money?

Because that money is coming out of our pockets, one way or another.

TOO BIG TO JAIL.

So a "worst case scenario" discussed internally in April translates to "it's looking like" in your mind, subby?

What's the worst case scenario for unemployment by the end of the year? 10% lets say if euro completely imploded and something else went wrong? Should we then say that it looks like unemployment will be 10%?

TheShadow: They've lost nearly 9 months worth of their income. Huge tragedy.

Poor guys. We should lend them taxpayer money at zero interest until they're back on their feet.

I'm sure Dimon will get a really "stern" talking-to from Congress about this. I'm sure that this will be remembered whenever someone is talking about the need to get rid of regulation and that the private sector does things so much better in all cases.

I guess I should just be glad that I don't have any investments with them, though it might be a good time to buy JPMC stock today or tomorrow after the big dip comes.

Zel: Why do we care that a big gambling/investment bank lost a pile of money?

Until it's your retirement fund.

So JP Morgan lost the money. Who has it now? I've never understood this about investment banking, which seems to assume money just materializes out of thin air.

Oh. The horror.

If only we had destroyed Social Security and put our social safety net into their capable hands when Bush wanted us to!

Eapoe6: JP Morgan Chase is insolvent. They are drown on junk derivatives and fraud.

9 billion? Stop this foolishness, and let them fail. They won't be so big once they fail.

Maybe they won't be interested in my mortgage as much...

lohphat: Zel: Why do we care that a big gambling/investment bank lost a pile of money?

Until it's your retirement fund.

Oh, yes, thanks. Sometimes forget that those things exist.

/millenial

And how do we really know at this point that it's actually 9 billion?
Let's just call it 100 bajillion.

Debeo Summa Credo: So a "worst case scenario" discussed internally in April translates to "it's looking like" in your mind, subby?

What's the worst case scenario for unemployment by the end of the year? 10% lets say if euro completely imploded and something else went wrong? Should we then say that it looks like unemployment will be 10%?

While publicly telling investors that it's a "tempest in a teapot".

It's a good thing those huge bonuses are keeping all that elite talent at this fine institution. Without them, they'd have lost 9 braziliion. Think about it.

Philip Francis Queeg: So when is Dimon going to be charged with fraud for his lies to investors to protect his position and pay package?

How about lying to Congress. Oh, that's right, Congress was too busy bowing and laying flowers at his feet to ask any questions.

/Not sure if lying to a Committee would be covered.

Kuroshin: Zel: Why do we care that a big gambling/investment bank lost a pile of money?

Because that money is coming out of our pockets, one way or another.

If you believe this piece from the other day, that's half of what their "expectation of governmental support" nets them.

TheLopper: It's a good thing those huge bonuses are keeping all that elite talent at this fine institution. Without them, they'd have lost 9 braziliion. Think about it.

Indeed.
Good money spent keeping the best and brightest in riches.

Jeez I should just go to a casino and gamble away my money and then ask congress for money. Im sure they could spare .0001% of what JP Morgan lost

You're doing a great job, Jamie! Maybe next year you could lose a few billion more, yes? I bet there's another 11% boost to your salary in it for you!

Obama's fault, right?

TheShadow: They've lost nearly 9 months worth of their income. Huge tragedy.

Ah. I right. This time the number is the right one. So, it's we can be sure that they can cover it. It's totes legit to believe them now.

And when they inevitably lose more than they can cover?

Philip Francis Queeg: So when is Dimon going to be charged with fraud for his lies to investors to protect his position and pay package?

Was he involved in F&F?

Oooh, the CEO will be called on the carpet to have his ass kissed again.

Zerohedge was all over this as soon as the losses became public. Official numbers from banks are always lies.

lohphat: TOO BIG TO JAIL.

That is a great idea for a Fark handle, kudos.

I guess JPM is really just hedging on how much of a loss they can incur before racking up criminal charges. Thus, even when they do, they will immediately make it all back.

Orgasmatron138: Oooh, the CEO will be called on the carpet to have his ass kissed again.

His ass must smell like roses.

Too big to jail, indeed. Give this man a lifetime government post immediately. He is a true asset! Worth every penny we can pay him. A true captain of industry. His bootstraps go to $9BILLION!!!!

Worst. Capitalists. Ever.

I just don't understand why people are so upset about this. If a private company makes a big mistake and loses a bunch of money, what does it have to do with the rest of us? It's THEIR MONEY!! Not yours, not mine, not ours, not the government's... I guess it's all just media hype. Just like when companies post huge earnings, the media is all over it and people celebrate it. Think about it like celebrity news: Charlie Sheen had a total farking meltdown and it didn't hurt his career, did it? JP Morgan is having a major meltdown... let's just be patient and let it blow over so they can get along with their recovery, start having a couple of live-in pornstar girlfriends, and then get involved an a new, similarly shiatty program as the one they're leaving...

So between this, the Euro crisis, the Syrian crisis and possible war in the South China Sea, canned food and shotguns?

Do you know what I see when I look in a flushed toilet? No shiat.

dannit724: So JP Morgan lost the money. Who has it now? I've never understood this about investment banking, which seems to assume money just materializes out of thin air.

misanthropologist: I just don't understand why people are so upset about this. If a private company makes a big mistake and loses a bunch of money, what does it have to do with the rest of us? It's THEIR MONEY!! Not yours, not mine, not ours, not the government's... I guess it's all just media hype. Just like when companies post huge earnings, the media is all over it and people celebrate it. Think about it like celebrity news: Charlie Sheen had a total farking meltdown and it didn't hurt his career, did it? JP Morgan is having a major meltdown... let's just be patient and let it blow over so they can get along with their recovery, start having a couple of live-in pornstar girlfriends, and then get involved an a new, similarly shiatty program as the one they're leaving...

notsureifserious.jpg

/investment banks do not conjure money from thin air

So is anyone going to get in trouble for this, or is this just going to be another one of those things where we're like "Oh well, I suppose bygones are bygones!"

violetvolume: So is anyone going to get in trouble for this, or is this just going to be another one of those things where we're like "Oh well, I suppose bygones are bygones!"

Dimon should get into trouble for lying or obfuscating the scope of the current shiatstorm (which he may known about as early as April).

The problem is that Dimon is rich (meaning the law doesn't apply as much), and he runs a big company. There is likely just enough ass-covering done (an e-mail from a middle manager reporting no problems - which will get that middle manager fired. Can't have incompetents around, can we?) to save Dimon's ass unless the shareholders want a do-over vote.

In that case, Dimon better polish his CV.

Debeo Summa Credo: So a "worst case scenario" discussed internally in April translates to "it's looking like" in your mind, subby?

What's the worst case scenario for unemployment by the end of the year? 10% lets say if euro completely imploded and something else went wrong? Should we then say that it looks like unemployment will be 10%?

Subby is misleading, but the point of the article was the CEO went in front of Congress and the investors claiming a $2 billion loss that could easily be absorbed and business will continue as normal. Now the info breaks that according to internal documents, the CEO knew well in advance of his testimony that the losses would likely exceed $2 billion and, in fact, could be higher that 4 times as much.

What would happen to you or I if we lied to Congress AND investors? Yet, Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Captain America, Colonel Sanders, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, and Jamie Dimon all go free. Ridiculous.