Pretty much what my wife said when both of our sons were born. GET THIS OUT OF ME!!!

Being in labor is just an excuse to not get me my nachos during the game.

Women who experience long labor dislike the extra effort and pain. Uh, yeah. Correct tag

My wife pushed the kid out pretty quick and without pain relief either. She's more of a woman than I am a man.

Anyone who isn't scared of giving birth is either ignorent or naive.

It's one of the most dangerous things a woman will do in her lifetime.

First Child - wife was induced, was in labor for about 8 hours. Got an epidural after trying to brave it out for the first 6 hours. The baby was born but she had a spinal tap migraine for the next few days, made it hard to breastfeed (because sitting up was terrible for her). Also, the baby was jaundice and we were in the hospital for about 5 days (so he could be in the light box).

Second child - wife was induced again (both times were medical reasons, irregualr blood pressure) and was in labor for 6 hours. Refused the epidural, used only the IV painkiller (whatever that stuff is) and soldiered through. Was only in the hospital 2 days.

She told her brother if she ever thinks about having a third, he has permission to come home and punch her in the face

/she is thinking about having a third
//her brother can't be here until Christmas
///csb

Freudian_slipknot: Anyone who isn't scared of giving birth is either ignorent or naive.

It's one of the most dangerous things a woman will do in her lifetime.

That's so dramatic. It's actually much more dangerous to be born than to give birth, and we all survived that, right?

Splish: That's so dramatic. It's actually much more dangerous to be born than to give birth, and we all survived that, right?

I didn't

/I got better

"Researchers say it may be because of high levels of stress."

Well, duh. So glad we have researchers in that complex and mystifying realm of Obvious.

Splish: Freudian_slipknot: Anyone who isn't scared of giving birth is either ignorent or naive.

It's one of the most dangerous things a woman will do in her lifetime.

That's so dramatic. It's actually much more dangerous to be born than to give birth, and we all survived that, right?

I have at least one sibling who didn't.

my ex was a champ. she went into labor at 5:00 a.m. doc finally did a c-section at 9:08 p.m. she outlasted the doc's patience.

Duh. They tense up, making it a bit hard to relax enough to push out that 10 pound watermelon.

Dr's are the problem

Too Pretty For Prison: my ex was a champ. she went into labor at 5:00 a.m. doc finally did a c-section at 9:08 p.m. she outlasted the doc's patience.

What an ass ..what he couldn't wait?

Labor is not an easy thing and it does last days sometimes. People need to get educated that Dr's like to do things on their terms when its in the babys terms. Yes they are needed for problems, but it shouldn't start out that way. Inductions are the devil. Pitocin is Horrid I KNOW.

Freudian_slipknot: Anyone who isn't scared of giving birth is either ignorent or naive.

It's one of the most dangerous things a woman will do in her lifetime.

So you don't drive much, do you?

Freudian_slipknot:

I have at least one sibling who didn't.

A child dying in the process of childbirth is not the same as miscarriage.

just take psyliocybin. there goes your fear

This is called the "Fear-Tension-Pain Cycle."

If you're so worried out that your vagina constricts and your breathing muscles are exhausted from hyperventilation, you're going to have a hard time.

That's part of why hypnotic birthing works: deliberate relaxation. About a third of hypnotic births are pain-free. The other two thirds tell more people about their experience, though.

My wife was in labor from 9am until the about 2 am when my baby daughters heart stopped during labor and we needed an emergency c-section at 2:27 in the morning and my second child was scheduled c-section and my wife had a uterine inversion and thankfully survived so I am getting a kick.

no more children for us

Wangiss: worried out

Ah me.

This is hardly news, it's been known for decades that stress hormones counteract hormones like oxytocin that help labor to progress, not to mention tightening all the muscles that need to loosen up before you can pass a giant baby head through them. Unfortunately, there is a lot of money to be made in scaring the hell out of mothers-to-be. Relaxed mothers with no fear of childbirth aren't the cash fountains that neurotic, terrified women who are easily coaxed into intervention/c-section are. When I was pregnant, I took a natural childbirth class where I was taught relaxation techniques, focusing, and postures to encourage good fetal positioning. I also took a childbirth class at the hospital, where they taught me how to hold still for the epidural and that a 40% C-Section rate was nothing to worry about because obviously all those babies and moms were in grave danger.

I wound up being in the hospital four hours before delivering my son, natural and without medication. It wasn't because I'm some crazed superwoman, it was because that's the easiest way with the quickest recovery time. If women didn't let themselves get so psyched out, most of them could do it too.

I agreed when my wife's Doc suggested a C section.
Didn't want to ruin the workshop.

Freudian_slipknot: Anyone who isn't scared of giving birth is either ignorent or naive.

It's one of the most dangerous things a woman will do in her lifetime.

One of my sister's friends died two days after giving birth, and I managed to go into labor without being terrified. You can't stop having the baby, so the best way to handle it is to accept the pain and whatever happens, have good support people around you, and work to get the baby out as safely as possible.

/only 12 hours of labor
//but 1.5 hours of pushing. Ugh.

I'm the oldest. Mom thought she was having me on March 31st. APRIL FOOL'S! :P

My brother was second, took a couple hours. Mom barely made it to the hospital for my sister, my youngest.

Experience probably helped a bit.

Freudian_slipknot: Anyone who isn't scared of giving birth is either ignorent or naive.

It's one of the most dangerous things a woman will do in her lifetime.

Healthy women with healthy pregnancies generally have safe deliveries. The magority of women are pretty healthy. Women's bodies are designed to have babies. If they weren't, we wouldn't have made it very far as a species.

The_Smurf_Strangler: Freudian_slipknot: Anyone who isn't scared of giving birth is either ignorent or naive.

It's one of the most dangerous things a woman will do in her lifetime.

Healthy women with healthy pregnancies generally have safe deliveries. The magority of women are pretty healthy. Women's bodies are designed to have babies. If they weren't, we wouldn't have made it very far as a species.

It's still farking scary.

Life is beautiful but birth is downright ugly

Also I'm not just speaking out of turn. I just had my son a few months ago with no medical interventions at all and he was 10 lbs. I used hypnosis and while it wasn't pain free I would still definately go with that method if I have another. BTW in my normal life I am actually a big wuss.

i_got_no_strings: This is hardly news, it's been known for decades that stress hormones counteract hormones like oxytocin that help labor to progress, not to mention tightening all the muscles that need to loosen up before you can pass a giant baby head through them. Unfortunately, there is a lot of money to be made in scaring the hell out of mothers-to-be. Relaxed mothers with no fear of childbirth aren't the cash fountains that neurotic, terrified women who are easily coaxed into intervention/c-section are. When I was pregnant, I took a natural childbirth class where I was taught relaxation techniques, focusing, and postures to encourage good fetal positioning. I also took a childbirth class at the hospital, where they taught me how to hold still for the epidural and that a 40% C-Section rate was nothing to worry about because obviously all those babies and moms were in grave danger.

I wound up being in the hospital four hours before delivering my son, natural and without medication. It wasn't because I'm some crazed superwoman, it was because that's the easiest way with the quickest recovery time. If women didn't let themselves get so psyched out, most of them could do it too.

A doctor in my state was sent to jail for giving c-sections during "fetal distress." Why? The forensic accountant found his c-section rate went up above 80% when he bought his car, his boat, and his summer home.

Wangiss

A doctor in my state was sent to jail for giving c-sections during "fetal distress." Why? The forensic accountant found his c-section rate went up above 80% when he bought his car, his boat, and his summer home.

Why does this not surprise me? Both my kids were born C-Section, the second because he was possibly going to be "out of town" on the due date.

PrivateCaboose: The_Smurf_Strangler: Freudian_slipknot: Anyone who isn't scared of giving birth is either ignorent or naive.

It's one of the most dangerous things a woman will do in her lifetime.

Healthy women with healthy pregnancies generally have safe deliveries. The magority of women are pretty healthy. Women's bodies are designed to have babies. If they weren't, we wouldn't have made it very far as a species.

It's still farking scary.

Heck, I find it scary--and I'm the husband. (Wife is due in early October)

My wife is pregnant so she is getting kicks.......

Row1Boston: My wife is pregnant so she is getting kicks.......

Pregnancy scares the crap out of me. I would have to give up all of my favorite things. All my favorite foods, alcohol, rugby.

I would be the most irritable, miserable pregnant woman ever.

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Wangiss

A doctor in my state was sent to jail for giving c-sections during "fetal distress." Why? The forensic accountant found his c-section rate went up above 80% when he bought his car, his boat, and his summer home.

Why does this not surprise me? Both my kids were born C-Section, the second because he was possibly going to be "out of town" on the due date.

I'm sorry to hear that. Did you live in Vegas? The c-section rate there, depending on the hospital, is 40-50%. It's disproportionately high on Friday afternoons.

My aunt used to be a nurse on a Maternity ward. She knew the ins and outs of every possible thing that could go wrong and it took her years to get and stay pregnant so she had every logical reason to be stressed about her labor. Then again, she knew everything there was to know about birthing in a well run hospital so despite her difficult pregnancy she just laid back, let the staff do what they do, and pushed the sucker out after only a 4 hour labor.

Little cousin that resulted in that birth, however, is a nervous wreck when she talks about starting a new family with her husband. She's already paranoid that at 25 she's going to have fertility issues like her mom and our grandma and going to die of a brain aneurism in child birth or something despite her mom repeatedly telling her "No, you're not going to die in childbirth unless you do something stupid like convert to Jehovah's Witness."

KatjaMouse: My aunt used to be a nurse on a Maternity ward. She knew the ins and outs of every possible thing that could go wrong and it took her years to get and stay pregnant so she had every logical reason to be stressed about her labor. Then again, she knew everything there was to know about birthing in a well run hospital so despite her difficult pregnancy she just laid back, let the staff do what they do, and pushed the sucker out after only a 4 hour labor.

Little cousin that resulted in that birth, however, is a nervous wreck when she talks about starting a new family with her husband. She's already paranoid that at 25 she's going to have fertility issues like her mom and our grandma and going to die of a brain aneurism in child birth or something despite her mom repeatedly telling her "No, you're not going to die in childbirth unless you do something stupid like convert to Jehovah's Witness."

Can they not use doctors or something?

Wangiss:

A doctor in my state was sent to jail for giving c-sections during "fetal distress." Why? The forensic accountant found his c-section rate went up above 80% when he bought his car, his boat, and his summer home.

That's not even a little bit surprising. Studies have also shown that when plotted by time of day, C-section rates skyrocket at common change-of-shift times in hospitals, when the doctor wants to go home whether or not the baby is ready to be born. Doctors know that they aren't going to get slapped with a malpractice suit for an unnecessary C-Section, so it's basically free money and more convenient for their own schedules.

And as far as the fetal distress business goes, there has never been any scientific proof that electronic fetal monitoring improves outcomes in average childbirths, yet pretty much every hospital does it, and it's responsible for a lot of false reports of distress and unnecessary interventions. It's basically Monty Python's "machine that goes ping" in real life.

PrivateCaboose: KatjaMouse: Little cousin that resulted in that birth, however, is a nervous wreck when she talks about starting a new family with her husband. She's already paranoid that at 25 she's going to have fertility issues like her mom and our grandma and going to die of a brain aneurism in child birth or something despite her mom repeatedly telling her "No, you're not going to die in childbirth unless you do something stupid like convert to Jehovah's Witness."

Can they not use doctors or something?

Not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't read some story about a Jehovah's Witness dying in a modern hospital because she and/or her husband refuse something as simple as a blood transfusion.

I don't fear childbirth.. I fear children.

\not a breeder.

Burr: First Child - wife was induced, was in labor for about 8 hours. Got an epidural after trying to brave it out for the first 6 hours. The baby was born but she had a spinal tap migraine for the next few days, made it hard to breastfeed (because sitting up was terrible for her). Also, the baby was jaundice and we were in the hospital for about 5 days (so he could be in the light box).

Second child - wife was induced again (both times were medical reasons, irregualr blood pressure) and was in labor for 6 hours. Refused the epidural, used only the IV painkiller (whatever that stuff is) and soldiered through. Was only in the hospital 2 days.

She told her brother if she ever thinks about having a third, he has permission to come home and punch her in the face

/she is thinking about having a third
//her brother can't be here until Christmas
///csb

That "only IV" painkiller is a narcotic, and actually worse for mom and baby.

santadog: I don't fear childbirth.. I fear children.

\not a breeder.

Can't I fear both?

I didn't mean for my post to sound too scary...crazy sh*t is just how we roll.

But also, people on here sometimes seem to gloss over the risks and state that billions of women have given birth and it ain't no thing and human life isn't a miracle and everything...but you know. Be thankful your experiences have been that easy peasy...because it can get real real quick. One of the best days of my life was way to close to being the worst.

Good luck to all y'all with little ones on the way. Obviously hope it goes super smooth.

As someone whose due date is tomorrow, I am getting a kick...

/actually pretty scared
//keep telling myself women have been doing this forever

i_got_no_strings: That's not even a little bit surprising. Studies have also shown that when plotted by time of day, C-section rates skyrocket at common change-of-shift times in hospitals, when the doctor wants to go home whether or not the baby is ready to be born. Doctors know that they aren't going to get slapped with a malpractice suit for an unnecessary C-Section, so it's basically free money and more convenient for their own schedules.

Several women in this country have actually been arrested for refusing c-section births. A handful of them of course resulted in tragic results like a baby born breach or still born or other complications but even with successful labors with healthy babies, the mothers were still hauled off at some point for child endangerment.

Looking forward to passing a nine pound bowling ball through a garden hose would sacre the **** outa me too.

It's why I sterilized my ex with a blowtorch and hay baling tongs back when were first married.

busy chillin': I didn't mean for my post to sound too scary...crazy sh*t is just how we roll.

But also, people on here sometimes seem to gloss over the risks and state that billions of women have given birth and it ain't no thing and human life isn't a miracle and everything...but you know. Be thankful your experiences have been that easy peasy...because it can get real real quick. One of the best days of my life was way to close to being the worst.

Good luck to all y'all with little ones on the way. Obviously hope it goes super smooth.

Some people do have harder pregnancies and labors, and for some women, intervention is literally a lifesaver. I don't presume to know enough about your situation to come close to making a judgment about how it was handled. All I can offer is the studies that have been done that say for large numbers of women, labor is harder and more dangerous than it has to be because they are afraid and easily pressured into more medical interventions than are necessary. Once medical intervention starts, like an induction, the chances of getting more and more intervention goes way up. That doesn't say anything about your particular situation, but it does speak to systemic problems in the way childbirth is handled in hospitals.

Bob Right: As someone whose due date is tomorrow, I am getting a kick...

/actually pretty scared
//keep telling myself women have been doing this forever

Good luck, you'll do great! Just try and focus on the end result, where you have your baby and aren't hauling around the giant belly anymore. And remember that for first time moms, the average length of pregnancy is 41 weeks, not 40, so don't be disappointed if your kid decides to dawdle. =)

PrivateCaboose: santadog: I don't fear childbirth.. I fear children.

\not a breeder.

Can't I fear both?

Sure! You can also fear the Reaper.

i_got_no_strings: Good luck, you'll do great! Just try and focus on the end result, where you have your baby and aren't hauling around the giant belly anymore. And remember that for first time moms, the average length of pregnancy is 41 weeks, not 40, so don't be disappointed if your kid decides to dawdle. =)

Great, way to encourage the next slacker generation. I was all uppity and ready to get out of my mom 2 weeks early.

The husbands all fear stretched-out vajajas.