mongbiohazard: But will she be able to divorce herself from the cult as well?

There is something glamorous about putting 'subversive person' on a CV.

Bravo, subby. I always love headlines like this. When I try to describe Fark to people, these are the kinds of headlines I use.

I can't wait to see all the bouncy cruiz memes.

We all knew it would happen, the guys a farking loon

So what's the cause? Anyone want to offer an opinion?

I think it's a tossup between the two obvious options:

1) It's because Tom Cruise is gay and that doesn't make for an easy hetero-marriage.

2) It's because Katie couldn't stand being in their cult anymore and she wants to leave scientology.

Bet hes on the penis train tonight. Penis train.

Anybody know why when I click on certain articles they pop up over and over?

NOOOO! NOT TOMKAT!!11

Walker: Yeah, there have been blind gossip items about this for months saying they were going to get divorced. Sometimes the gossip is true!

Here's a blind item from May 21:

This actress - who worked much more several years ago than she does now - has found the perfect way to annoy her controlling husband. He always insisted that she not step foot out of the house unless she was looking her best (full hair, makeup, clothes) because she was a "reflection of his image".

But now that they have quietly separated, she consistently walks out of the house in casual clothes and messy hair and no makeup (even when her destination isn't the gym). Of course, the paparazzi are there, just waiting to snap her photo. Her publicist called and said, "Do you realize how much you're pissing him off when you do that?" She replied, "Absolutely!" and giggled. Sounds like it's just her little way of reclaiming her life.

[img.photobucket.com image 445x529]
/her identity concealed for her protection (but yeah it's Katie)


Ding ding ding

I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

ugh, she's tainted. I know it'll never happen, but just think of a 'tell-all' book she could write. Farking creepy.

Clearly smarter than Nicole Kidman, Katie only opted for the 5 year contract....

FarkinHostile: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

Some closet homosexuals get girlfriends/wives to maintain an illusion of heterosexuality (manliness); those girlfriends/wives are referred to as "Beards".

I don't think beards are exclusive to gay men.

A "beard" is a woman who accompanies a gay man in attempts to covering up his gayness from the public.

It's not a "meme," it's slang.

Not everything's a "meme."

Nice headline.

Marriage Impossible

sigdiamond2000: I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.

Can we get a Supreme court ruling on this?

I voted against this headline because it is so freaking obvious. The "Suri" one was much better.

Subby should not have gotten rewarded for such low-hanging fruit*.


*like Tom Cruise.

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?

In case no one has answered yet, a beard is a woman a gay man dates or marries in order to remain in the closet.

Klippoklondike: metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?

A beard is a common term for a spouse who's only purpose is to hide a person's true sexuality. In other words, he married Katie Holmes in order to seem heterosexual to the public.

I learned something today.

I wonder who Katie got tired of dressing up as more....Travolta or Kilmer?

//i don't think Tom liked being on top

Newsflash? Really?

foo monkey: The Suri one was better.

by a mile.
a stiff, completely discreet, non-disclosure agreement signed 8", anyway.

Maybe Holmes got sick of Cruise limiting her career? She hasn't done jack shiat since they got married.

monoski: I thought my headline might have gotten me one:

Dudes, Katie Holmes is going back on the market. Gay dudes, so is Tom Cruise

That was pretty good too !

Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

low mileage, lightly used

Out out, Tommy!

Seems appropriate on many levels.

Brother_Mouzone: a joke older than Katie Holmes is getting accolades. cool beans.

you sound old

Contrabulous Flabtraption: FTGodWin: LOL, good one subby.

Yeah, subby was an original genius

[i.imgur.com image 640x625]

Only 5% of submitted links ever make it to the main page so submitting the same story with the same headline 20 times guarantees it making it right?

Contrabulous Flabtraption: FTGodWin: LOL, good one subby.

Yeah, subby was an original genius

[i.imgur.com image 640x625]

Yeah.. the anal sex headline kinda wins. Especially if you read it in Norm McDonald's voice.

SirAdrianDangerous: sigdiamond2000: I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.

Can we get a Supreme court ruling on this?

The anal sex headline has not been redlit yet.

The admin needs to pull a John Roberts and shock the world by yanking this headline.

Leeds: So what's the cause? Anyone want to offer an opinion?

I think it's a tossup between the two obvious options:

1) It's because Tom Cruise is gay and that doesn't make for an easy hetero-marriage.

2) It's because Katie couldn't stand being in their cult anymore and she wants to leave scientology.

Katie... Katie never loved Tom, she was offered a lucrative contract. But as any arragned marriage, they formed a relationship of sorts, never sexual, think skipping the "salad days" - She was in on it, knows he is gay, was told by his handlers and him never to make comments about it and his private wrestling matches, and in 5 years she could resign.
But the constant Scientology buzzards circling around her every move numbed her, broke her, and she loves that little girl, but Suri is the child of Scientology, and Suri as she grows up, naturally with Scientology handlers finding ways to plant influence in her life, will make the remainder of Katie's motherhood quite simply, a living hell.

But she'll always have something to remember him by.
(hot)(and itchy)

shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.

oh i get it now, that's hilarious. good headline.

Saw the Tom Cruise bird shiat facial news and wanted to have both stories merged to have a great headline opportunity.

"Tom Cruise takes sh#t facial to shave beard"

WHY Katie? I've finally accepted that you and I could never be so I decided to have a child with my wife and now you DO THIS?! HOW COULD YOU?!

I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.

Normally I couldn't care less about this sort of thing. But for some reason this really does make me sad. I remember that time Katie gave that interview about being a little girl and telling people she was going to marry Tom Cruise. And then it came true. There's something profoundly sad about that. OK, BACK TO TEH GHEY JOKES

MrEricSir: Maybe Holmes got sick of Cruise limiting her career? She hasn't done jack shiat since they got married.

Her career had peaked and was in decline by the time they got married - it's not like she was going to be the next Merryl Streep.

/Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite
///definitely the pinnacle of her acting acheivements

I couldn't help it. :-)

But he took this marriage SO SERIOUSLY

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I think one probably could now. Cruise is just batshiat crazy. Don't Scientologists disavow the existence of homosexuality?

But, I didn't even know he had a be--oh, you!

awesome, now Quentin can write a movie for her and begin the comebacContrabulous Flabtraption: FTGodWin: LOL, good one subby.

Yeah, subby was an original genius

[i.imgur.com image 640x625]

I like the Huffingtonpost one. i know brevity is the soul of wit but its rambling overly detailed headline was just fitting.

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Yeah, subby was an original genius

Butthurt that yours wasn't picked?

foo monkey: Suri

Yes it was. Mods/Admin replace this headline with that one.

/slips them some cash
//not that subby

I'm a publicist for Katie Holmes.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.

I don't ever remember Tom with facial hair. What is going on here?

subby: Tom Cruise shaves beard



BOO! BRING BACK THE FROG!

/golf clap

pstudent12 SmartestFunniest 2012-06-29 02:34:42 PM


I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.

Old school! :)

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?

I wonder if Scientology might be backing down on their homophobia. With droves of actors coming out the past few years and with Scientology relying on Hollywood starpower, this can't be helping their recruiting efforts at all. While I doubt Cruise will ever come out, with Travolta it's impossible to hide anymore.