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   If you thought the only function of the appendix was to rupture and ensure that your doctor could rent that house in the Hamptons, think again

03 Jul 2012 01:06 PM   |   8332 clicks   |   Neatorama
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basemetal    [TotalFark]  
Now we have Activia!

/said with a twinkling smile
//and a sound effect

03 Jul 2012 11:52 AM
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Gaseous Anomaly     
FTA: "populations are now so dense that people pick up essential bacteria from each other"

/fap

03 Jul 2012 01:20 PM
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fawlty     
FTFA: But in earlier centuries, when vast tracts of land ...

Here come the Monty Python jokes.

/NTTAWWT

03 Jul 2012 01:20 PM
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cgraves67     
It's the bomb shelter of the bowels.

03 Jul 2012 01:21 PM
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Spindle     
FTA: This function has been made obsolete by modern, industrialised society; populations are now so dense that people pick up essential bacteria from each other, allowing gut organisms to regrow without help from the appendix, the researchers said.


Can someone explain to me how this works, because the only mental image I'm getting is something straight out of a japanese fetish video, and it ain't pretty.

03 Jul 2012 01:21 PM
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that was my nickname in highschool     
Hate to be that guy, but this story long ago crossed the line from news to history.

Link

03 Jul 2012 01:29 PM
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Zap_Rowsdower     
Being a science journalist must be the easiest job in the world. Just keep a few textbooks on your desk, and every week or so, flip through and publish some fact as "news". Seriously, I learned about this in my medical micro class about fifteen years ago.

03 Jul 2012 01:35 PM
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Tax Boy     
Spindle: populations are now so dense that people pick up essential bacteria from each other, allowing gut organisms to regrow without help from the appendix, the researchers said.


Can someone explain to me how this works,

03 Jul 2012 01:40 PM
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Tax Boy     
Tax Boy: Spindle: populations are now so dense that people pick up essential bacteria from each other, allowing gut organisms to regrow without help from the appendix, the researchers said.


Can someone explain to me how this works,


Argh. [Kyle Human Cent-iPad gif.]

/Kyle, I bereeve in ryu!
//but not in hotlinking apparently

03 Jul 2012 01:41 PM
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Zap_Rowsdower     
Tax Boy: Spindle: populations are now so dense that people pick up essential bacteria from each other, allowing gut organisms to regrow without help from the appendix, the researchers said.


Can someone explain to me how this works,


Fecal-oral transmission. And yes, that's exactly what it sounds like.

03 Jul 2012 01:42 PM
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Exception Collection    [TotalFark]  
Hmph. I hadn't heard this, and it explains a lot; my appendix was removed at the same time I had stomach surgery as a child.

03 Jul 2012 01:49 PM
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Vangor     
I thought the purpose was to help us digest raw leaves and grasses. Not sure where I heard this from, though.

03 Jul 2012 01:55 PM
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Saiga410     
I thought the only function of the appendix was to provide supplemental information.

03 Jul 2012 01:59 PM
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Linux_Yes     
i thought everyone knew that medical doctors know everything. this is common knowledge. one time i broke a bone and the doctor healed it. just like that. the body's normal repair process didn't have a chance.

03 Jul 2012 02:00 PM
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Zap_Rowsdower     
Vangor: I thought the purpose was to help us digest raw leaves and grasses. Not sure where I heard this from, though.

That was the purpose of the cecum. The appendix is the vestigial evolutionary remnant of the cecum. Herbivores still have large, active cecums, which do help digesting plant material. We don't need ours any more, and the appendix has taken on this minor, secondary role.

03 Jul 2012 02:01 PM
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entropic_existence     
Spindle: Can someone explain to me how this works, because the only mental image I'm getting is something straight out of a japanese fetish video, and it ain't pretty.

Microscopic bits of fecal contamination are everywhere and you ingest vast quantities of it every day. This is perfectly natural and isn't something to worry about. It takes over a certain level before you get problems due to pathogens.

Vangor: I thought the purpose was to help us digest raw leaves and grasses. Not sure where I heard this from, though.

That's the primary ancestral function which has been lost. Which is why it is considered a vestigial organ. Unfortunately people dumbed down vestigial to mean "useless" which isn't true.

03 Jul 2012 02:01 PM
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sobernutz     
Got mine removed at 9 years old

03 Jul 2012 02:02 PM
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Petey4335     
As someone without it, I can definitely say since, the plumbing hasn't worked the same since.

Fun phone conversation that day.
Me: Hey Ang (wife), can you drive me to the hospital when you get home from work? Yeah, um the doc says I have appendicitis and I go in for surgery tonight.
Wife: What? huh? you what? WHAT?!

She was nice enough to surprise me kingdom hearts II which I ended up beating in the week i took off. We had a sofa sleeper and a lazy boy at the time. I spent part of that week in each thanks to to pains from teh holes in the stomach muscles.

03 Jul 2012 02:04 PM
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skodabunny     
sobernutz: Got mine removed at 9 years old

Then you better stay away from amoebic dysentery.

03 Jul 2012 02:06 PM
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Tax Boy     
Zap_Rowsdower: Fecal-oral transmission

www.mtv.com

Dude you never go ATM

03 Jul 2012 02:08 PM
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DECMATH     
fawlty: FTFA: But in earlier centuries, when vast tracts of land ...

Here come the Monty Python jokes.


That's Monto Py-thEEN!

03 Jul 2012 02:13 PM
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Fear the Clam     
Petey4335: As someone without it, I can definitely say since, the plumbing hasn't worked the same since.

Mine was removed, but not until it ruptured. I wouldn't recommend the experience nor the eight days in the hospital it took to recover.

/But the plumbing was fine once the peritonitis was fixed.

03 Jul 2012 02:27 PM
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Dwight_Yeast     
basemetal: Now we have Activia!

I grew up around hippies, and people who took Rodale seriously, so I've used this stuff to do the same job for years:

www.organicdirect.com

It works wonders after you've had stomach flu or similar major digestive issues.

03 Jul 2012 02:48 PM
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Noekken     
FTFA: This function has been made obsolete by modern, industrialised society; populations are now so dense that people pick up essential bacteria from each other


This is why they put remote control units for the TVs in all motels and free samples of food in grocery stores. Didn't you know?

You are welcome.

03 Jul 2012 02:51 PM
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Vangor     
Zap_Rowsdower: That was the purpose of the cecum. The appendix is the vestigial evolutionary remnant of the cecum. Herbivores still have large, active cecums, which do help digesting plant material. We don't need ours any more, and the appendix has taken on this minor, secondary role.

entropic_existence: That's the primary ancestral function which has been lost. Which is why it is considered a vestigial organ. Unfortunately people dumbed down vestigial to mean "useless" which isn't true.

Thanks for the confirmation and additional explanation. I could have used Google probably, but that is a boring way to search.

03 Jul 2012 03:11 PM
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The Blind Fury     
Picking up essential bacteria from one another? Sounds unnerving.


/right below the title of the article, there was an ad for Dawnguard (I see one here too). Why must the Internet torture me so?

03 Jul 2012 03:25 PM
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coldones     
I thought it was home for the toad or small dwarf that causes tunny aches?

03 Jul 2012 03:34 PM
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Odd Bird     
All that talk about gut organisms must've touched a nerve. Anyone have a decent magazine handy? back in a bit.

03 Jul 2012 03:45 PM
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SultanofSchwing     
What kind of backwards ass, barbaric, third world country still exists that makes you pay for health care out of pocket?

03 Jul 2012 03:54 PM
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Minus 1 Charisma     
FTA: in earlier centuries, when vast tracts of land

Hmm....tell me more about these earlier centuries and their huuuuge "tracts of land"...

03 Jul 2012 04:09 PM
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attention span of a retarded fruit fly     
Linux_Yes: i thought everyone knew that medical doctors know everything. this is common knowledge. one time i broke a bone and the doctor healed it. just like that. the body's normal repair process didn't have a chance.

Ive fractured my leg bones twice and never got them set. Healed fine in 6 weeks with a lump over the break and then it shaved down over time.

The body does it all by its self sometimes... doctors can watch if it doesnt involve cutting you open.

03 Jul 2012 04:11 PM
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Jenniturd     
I read this while shiatting so I'm getting a kick, etc.

03 Jul 2012 04:14 PM
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halB     
Gaseous Anomaly: FTA: "populations are now so dense that people pick up essential bacteria from each other"

/fap


The appendix has been made obsolete by our constant eating of each other's shiat, most likely at McDonalds.

03 Jul 2012 04:16 PM
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vballer     
Zap_Rowsdower: Tax Boy: Spindle: populations are now so dense that people pick up essential bacteria from each other, allowing gut organisms to regrow without help from the appendix, the researchers said.


Can someone explain to me how this works,

Fecal-oral transmission. And yes, that's exactly what it sounds like.


So...you're saying that when I crop dust a group of randoms I'm actually helping them out?

03 Jul 2012 04:22 PM
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Lex A. Preau     
Jenniturd: I read this while shiatting so I'm getting a kick, etc.

You're kicking shiat around?

Eeew! So you are the one responsible for making the appendix obsolete! Dang, where will all this outsourcing end?

03 Jul 2012 04:22 PM
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buckler     
Lemme guess without RTFA: it acts as a repository for helpful bacteria, serving as a sort of "safe house" to allow them to repopulate the intestines later in the event of a wipeout? That's been known for years.

Oh, that's exactly it.

03 Jul 2012 04:55 PM
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SultanofSchwing     
buckler: Lemme guess without RTFA: it acts as a repository for helpful bacteria, serving as a sort of "safe house" to allow them to repopulate the intestines later in the event of a wipeout? That's been known for years.

Oh, that's exactly it.


Sweet Jesus! You are amazing! Truly a God amongst men.

03 Jul 2012 05:00 PM
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buckler     
SultanofSchwing: buckler: Lemme guess without RTFA: it acts as a repository for helpful bacteria, serving as a sort of "safe house" to allow them to repopulate the intestines later in the event of a wipeout? That's been known for years.

Oh, that's exactly it.

Sweet Jesus! You are amazing! Truly a God amongst men.


Nah, but TFA was certainly written by less than one.

03 Jul 2012 05:07 PM
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Jenniturd     
Lex A. Preau: Jenniturd: I read this while shiatting so I'm getting a kick, etc.

You're kicking shiat around?

Eeew! So you are the one responsible for making the appendix obsolete! Dang, where will all this outsourcing end?


Yes, it was me! It was all part of my cunning plan to harvest appendixesseses in order to control the world's supply do gut organisms! Muahahahahaa! *thunder bolts and lightening, very very frightening!*

But you had to go and poking around fark and exposed my plan. Now you must die, Mr. Bond.

03 Jul 2012 05:29 PM
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Superluminal Perineum     
I am Jack's appendix. I rupture; I kill Jack...

03 Jul 2012 05:40 PM
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lewismarktwo     
People think their dish washer sterilizes their dishware too.

03 Jul 2012 05:59 PM
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Tourney3p0     
According to the article, that's still exactly what it's for in modern society.

03 Jul 2012 06:02 PM
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Digitalstrange     
Tourney3p0: According to the article, that's still exactly what it's for in modern society.

Yeah, it used to have a function. Now it doesn't

Actually I'm glad thats the case. I clicked and read the article afraid that they had found new evidence showing it still helped you out somehow. Mine paid for my doctors vacation 20 years ago so that was gonna be bad news for me.

03 Jul 2012 06:14 PM
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SchlingFocker     
You're not going to be able to afford a house in the Hamptons by doing appendectomies.

I think a surgeon gets around $600 from most insurance companies for an appendectomy.

03 Jul 2012 06:18 PM
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Dr. Goldshnoz     
Perform analingus. But ONLY for your health.

03 Jul 2012 07:42 PM
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JohnnyC     
My appendix was taken out when I was 11 years old. If I get some kind intestinal issue, I just make sure I eat some good quality live culture yogurt. It isn't generally an issue.

On the plus side, I know if I am cut off from society for some odd reason, I wouldn't die of appendicitis... so there's that.

03 Jul 2012 08:25 PM
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Huggermugger     
"They eat-a the POO POO!"
/Uganda

04 Jul 2012 01:50 AM
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Eps05     
Well how does this explain my lactose intolerance that suddenly appeared around 22 years old and that never went away? Is my appendix not working right? Never had any other digestive issues, never done a cleanse. Haven't had gastro in many years though.

04 Jul 2012 05:42 AM
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Zap_Rowsdower     
Lactose intolerance is genetic. It has nothing whatsoever to do with intestinal bacteria.

04 Jul 2012 03:31 PM
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Mr. McPeanut     
Eps05: Well how does this explain my lactose intolerance that suddenly appeared around 22 years old and that never went away? Is my appendix not working right? Never had any other digestive issues, never done a cleanse. Haven't had gastro in many years though.

Lactose intolerance occurs when your body stops making lactase, which is the enzyme responsible for breaking lactose into its component sugars (lactose is composed of one glucose and one galactose bound together). Without lactase, lactose continues into the large bowel undigested where it draws in water by osmotic pressure and gets fermented by gut bacteria, causing bloating, gas, diarrhea, and/or pain.

Everyone is born making lactase, since babies rely on milk for nutrition. Not everyone continues making lactase after infancy and in fact most don't. Lactose intolerance could be considered the norm - the prevailing theory is that lactose tolerance emerged as an evolutionary adaptation among cattle/sheep herders in Europe. Those who had the mutation to keep making lactase after infancy could make use of a Calorie-and-protein-rich food source that those without the mutation could not, conferring an adaptive advantage.

People can develop lactose intolerance at any age. Even people who are lactose "tolerant" their whole lives may find that they tolerate less as they get older. You happened to lose your tolerance at age 22. However, your colon bacterial environment was not involved in this process.

If you want to keep that environment happy, feed it with dietary fiber and send it reinforcements in the form of probiotics like yogurt cultures. You should still be able to tolerate yogurt, as the process of making yogurt involves the conversion of lactose to lactic acid, which should not have the same effect on you (same goes for hard cheeses like cheddar and swiss).

04 Jul 2012 08:29 PM
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