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   Man survives harrowing ordeal after getting lost in the Ontario wilderness. For 15 HOURS he subsisted on nothing but fresh water and a warm fire. FIFTEEN HOURS

03 Jul 2012 05:54 PM   |   7477 clicks   |   CTV News
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Representative of the unwashed masses    [TotalFark]  
That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

03 Jul 2012 02:48 PM
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FriarReb98    [TotalFark]  
Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

03 Jul 2012 02:50 PM
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Representative of the unwashed masses    [TotalFark]  
FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.


Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

03 Jul 2012 02:53 PM
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firefly212     
Is it too early for me to use my internet GED in Medicine to diagnose PTSD?

03 Jul 2012 02:54 PM
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MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
Suck it, Bear Grylls

03 Jul 2012 02:54 PM
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oldfarthenry     
What's the matter, Bear Grylls? Your bladder wasn't producing fluid?

03 Jul 2012 02:55 PM
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FloydA    [TotalFark]  
I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.

03 Jul 2012 03:12 PM
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BurnShrike     
Wow. What a harrowing tale. How ever did he manage to stay alive for 15 hours in the forest?

03 Jul 2012 03:22 PM
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Representative of the unwashed masses    [TotalFark]  
FloydA: I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.

It's ok, someday it will be ok, but now you know. Always carry an emergency flask of rum with you!

03 Jul 2012 03:35 PM
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Old_Chief_Scott     
BurnShrike: Wow. What a harrowing tale. How ever did he manage to stay alive for 15 hours in the forest?

He's lucky he wasn't eaten by beavers or something.

03 Jul 2012 03:46 PM
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sno man    [TotalFark]  
heh heh.... Donner party of one....
15 hours and needed to drink swamp water to survive... I wonder if he thought about cutting off his leg for something to eat.

03 Jul 2012 04:21 PM
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ToxicMunkee     
RE: the picture accompanying the article...that's a Hurr Durr picture if I ever saw one.

03 Jul 2012 04:39 PM
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BKITU    [TotalFark]  
ToxicMunkee: RE: the picture accompanying the article...that's a Hurr Durr picture if I ever saw one.

I'm thinking more, "Who farted, eh?"

03 Jul 2012 04:46 PM
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FriarReb98    [TotalFark]  
Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!


I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!

03 Jul 2012 04:52 PM
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FloydA    [TotalFark]  
FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: FriarReb98: Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

Pfft. Week, motherfarka.

Oh yeah? I didn't have a pillow, I had to use a jacket instead! Take that!

I... dear farking Christ, how'd you make it?!



You just have to sew some sleeves onto a vest. But that's not important right now.

03 Jul 2012 04:58 PM
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RexTalionis    [TotalFark]  
Weaksauce. Based on past experience, I'm good for up to 3 days of moderate walking and no food.

03 Jul 2012 05:02 PM
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gopher321    [TotalFark]  
Oh, the humanity! I hope S&R spared no expense and had every available copter circling the area and tracking dogs on his trail. As a taxpayer, I'm TOTALLY ok with the expense.

TOTALLY.

03 Jul 2012 05:30 PM
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bim1154     
Someone needs to post the Bear Grylls drinks his own piss .jpg

03 Jul 2012 05:56 PM
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stonicus     
One of the good things about being overweight... 15 hours of no food is nothing.
Maybe I put too much gas in my gas tank, but there's several people where I work who at least once a day look like they're about to pass out until they go eat something. Stop running on fumes!!!

03 Jul 2012 05:57 PM
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CravenMorehead     
Can't wait for the movie!

03 Jul 2012 05:57 PM
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Karma Chameleon     
img2-1.timeinc.net

03 Jul 2012 05:58 PM
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mikdeetx     
There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

03 Jul 2012 05:58 PM
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Representative of the unwashed masses    [TotalFark]  
mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

In northern Canada it's generally called muskeg. Very similar to a swamp down south during the summer months.

03 Jul 2012 05:59 PM
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Erix    [TotalFark]  
I'm waiting for the book. I always like to read these survival books before the movie comes out.

03 Jul 2012 06:01 PM
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LordJiro     
MaudlinMutantMollusk: Suck it, Bear Grylls

Well, this guy IS a better survivalist than Bear. He didn't need a farking motel.

03 Jul 2012 06:01 PM
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BHK     
Stonicus - that's not from lack of body fat, that's from too much sugar in the diet. Very few people have too little body fat to survive for less than a week on nothing but water; most of us can go far longer. It's the insulin resistance developed over time from a high carb diet that makes a person dizzy when he's only gone a few hours without food. It's why fatties are so hungry all the time (I know, I was one until I stopped eating all that processed crap that passes for food nowadays.)

03 Jul 2012 06:02 PM
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Ponzholio    [TotalFark]  
What the article didn't mention is he went with 2 other people but had to resort to cannibalism after the first 6-hours...

03 Jul 2012 06:02 PM
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Erix    [TotalFark]  
CravenMorehead: Can't wait for the movie!

...or I guess I could have read all the comments before making my own dumb joke.

03 Jul 2012 06:02 PM
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gopher321    [TotalFark]  
mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America, next to the Okeepenokee or whatever you call it down south.

/not so interesting factoid

03 Jul 2012 06:02 PM
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topcon     
To make things even more interesting, he killed 16 Czechoslovakians and he was an interior decorator.

03 Jul 2012 06:03 PM
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DownDaRiver     
I had to spend a weekend at my GFs parents cabin in the woods w/parents, 10 miles from anywhere without vodka.

03 Jul 2012 06:03 PM
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skodabunny     
This reminds me of some farker's recent CSB that they once walked two miles to buy a Stephen King novel. Two miles! Oh the humanity! What a fan that man is! Presumably he took a backpack full of cheeseypuffs and mountain dew to ward off starvation on that heroic quest. Is this the same guy? Is there a new Stephen King book out?

03 Jul 2012 06:03 PM
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StoneColdAtheist     
FloydA: I was once locked outside of a liquor store for 24 hours.

I once tried to buy a 6-pack of beer at a convenience store in Topeka, Kansas on a Sunday.

/fortunately they allow buying drinks at bars on Sundays
//the hotel I was staying had a bar
///problem solved

03 Jul 2012 06:05 PM
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indarwinsshadow     
Toronto man.....says it all.


*cough*wimp*cough*

03 Jul 2012 06:06 PM
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FloydA    [TotalFark]  
gopher321: mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America,


Is it the Leafs?

03 Jul 2012 06:06 PM
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Wicked Kitty     
I went to a festival once, and on day two the wine box ran out. Grim times. I mean, you should have seen the queue in the beer tent.

03 Jul 2012 06:06 PM
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martid4    [TotalFark]  
And probably no Internet.

03 Jul 2012 06:06 PM
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BumpInTheNight     
cdn.runt-of-the-web.com

03 Jul 2012 06:07 PM
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kellynoel     
I'm not gonna lie, if my name was Donner I would never leave the city limits.

03 Jul 2012 06:08 PM
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stonicus     
BHK: Stonicus - that's not from lack of body fat, that's from too much sugar in the diet. Very few people have too little body fat to survive for less than a week on nothing but water; most of us can go far longer. It's the insulin resistance developed over time from a high carb diet that makes a person dizzy when he's only gone a few hours without food. It's why fatties are so hungry all the time (I know, I was one until I stopped eating all that processed crap that passes for food nowadays.)

I rarely get tired... And I don't eat a lot of sugar... but I eat my body's weight in meat... =P

03 Jul 2012 06:09 PM
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styckx     
I spent 5hrs alone in a kayak today... ON TIDAL WATER and I had to paddle... AGAINST THE TIDE.. I survived on nothing but a gallon of water and Gatorade. ... Whoooa is me..

03 Jul 2012 06:09 PM
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Phony_Soldier     
Representative of the unwashed masses: That's nothing, I once spent an entire weekend in a tent!

My AC isn't working.

03 Jul 2012 06:10 PM
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ordinarysteve     
FloydA: gopher321: mikdeetx: There are swamps in Ontario? Or really, isn't that just the permafrost melting?

Believe it or not, I was told Ontario has the second largest swamp in North America,

Is it the Leafs?


upload.wikimedia.org
A picture of said swamp....well, for 41 nights a year at least (since they will never make the playoffs)

03 Jul 2012 06:10 PM
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clowncar     
Wait, this last guy's name was "Donner"? That's like having the last name "Manson" and making the news because you made a kid cry because you pretended you had his nose.

03 Jul 2012 06:11 PM
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chuckufarlie     
When did canadians become such pussies? Was this an edict from the queen?

When a person is "lost" for 15 hours, nothing that he does is considered as survival.

03 Jul 2012 06:13 PM
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Smelly Pirate Hooker     
Ponzholio: What the article didn't mention is he went with 2 other people but had to resort to cannibalism after the first 6-hours...

This.

03 Jul 2012 06:13 PM
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Somaticasual     
Sources say his grueling hike through that slightly overgrown starbuck's parking lot clearly took years off his life, and family is demanding compensation..

03 Jul 2012 06:13 PM
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Erix    [TotalFark]  
DownDaRiver: I had to spend a weekend at my GFs parents cabin in the woods w/parents, 10 miles from anywhere without vodka.

10 miles from anywhere without vodka? That doesn't sound too bad.

03 Jul 2012 06:14 PM
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BumpInTheNight     
The real story is when they find out what happened to the friends he was camping with.

03 Jul 2012 06:14 PM
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elsuavio     
sno man: Donner

FTA: Donner was reported missing the previous day, after he did not return from a walk while camping with friends over the long weekend.

I wonder how many of his friends returned. Do not go camping with a man named Donner.

03 Jul 2012 06:14 PM
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