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   The unerotic erotic thrillers. Who can forget the day Bruce Willis tried to do sexy?

17 Jul 2012 11:56 AM   |   7175 clicks   |   Den Of Geek
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ExperianScaresCthulhu     
I'm not clicking on the link, but Color of Night was hot. Jane March in the kitchen wearing only an apron..... she and Bruce smoked.

17 Jul 2012 12:00 PM
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JammerJim     
Bruce Willis was in that movie?

17 Jul 2012 12:00 PM
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akula    [TotalFark]  
Hey, Jane Marsh in Color of Night was damn hot. Awesome rack on that one.

17 Jul 2012 12:00 PM
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Wendy's Chili     
Was Secretary a thriller?

'Cause it was unerotic as shiat.

17 Jul 2012 12:01 PM
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Dwight_Yeast     
I'm assuming there's the usual attack on Eyes Wide Shut for not being "sexy"?

17 Jul 2012 12:02 PM
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ExperianScaresCthulhu     
Dwight_Yeast: I'm assuming there's the usual attack on Eyes Wide Shut for not being "sexy"?

Ever since the recent explanation that it was actually an attack on Scientology, I forgive it its 'creepy/boring-not-sexy' sins.

17 Jul 2012 12:07 PM
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browntimmy     
It would be hilarious if someone made a movie from one of Bill O'Reily's erotic novels.

17 Jul 2012 12:08 PM
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bhcompy     
Color of Night was a good thriller. Jane March made is much better, even if we had to see Bruce's dong. Little early lesbo action, too.

Sliver wasn't too bad, either.

17 Jul 2012 12:08 PM
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Flappyhead     
browntimmy: It would be hilarious if someone made a movie from one of Bill O'Reily's erotic novels.

I'm only wearing brief panties and leaning back on the couch while reading this, so I'm getting a kick.

17 Jul 2012 12:14 PM
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r1chard3     
ExperianScaresCthulhu: Dwight_Yeast: I'm assuming there's the usual attack on Eyes Wide Shut for not being "sexy"?

Ever since the recent explanation that it was actually an attack on Scientology, I forgive it its 'creepy/boring-not-sexy' sins.


That sounds pretty interesting, I'd like to know more about that.

17 Jul 2012 12:22 PM
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Andrew Wiggin     

17 Jul 2012 12:24 PM
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Andrew Wiggin     
Wendy's Chili: Was Secretary a thriller?

'Cause it was unerotic as shiat.


didn't that have the dude from brokeback mountain in it?

17 Jul 2012 12:24 PM
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Virtual Pariah     
cdn-static.denofgeek.com


Bad goblin. Bad, Bad...

Link as hot as Madge is not..

17 Jul 2012 12:27 PM
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dj_spanmaster    [TotalFark]  
Who can forget the day Bruce Willis tried to do sexy?

I have, and I will again.

17 Jul 2012 12:30 PM
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Fart_Machine     
No mention of David Lynch's Crash? James Spader farking Rosanna Arquette's scar?

17 Jul 2012 12:33 PM
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Wendy's Chili     
Andrew Wiggin: Wendy's Chili: Was Secretary a thriller?

'Cause it was unerotic as shiat.

didn't that have the dude from brokeback mountain in it?


It had his sister.

17 Jul 2012 12:33 PM
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EyeballKid     
browntimmy: It would be hilarious if someone made a movie from one of Bill O'Reily's erotic novels.

Or phone calls.

17 Jul 2012 12:33 PM
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Andrew Wiggin     
Wendy's Chili: Andrew Wiggin: Wendy's Chili: Was Secretary a thriller?

'Cause it was unerotic as shiat.

didn't that have the dude from brokeback mountain in it?

It had his sister.


sadly, that was the joke. i don't find her attractive.

17 Jul 2012 12:35 PM
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karmaceutical     
Fart_Machine: No mention of David Lynch's Crash? James Spader farking Rosanna Arquette's scar?

That was pretty bad. Not as bad Spader farking Detective Stabler.

17 Jul 2012 12:35 PM
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Cndn Bacon     
I'm surprised this wasn't on there:

images.moviepostershop.com

What a load of crap that was.

17 Jul 2012 12:35 PM
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karmaceutical     
Cndn Bacon: I'm surprised this wasn't on there:

[images.moviepostershop.com image 200x303]

What a load of crap that was.


Dude! I was just going to post that but I just had to spout about that crappy scene in crash first.

Talk about major let down back then. I was expecting to kill thousands of Cindy Crawford kittens and I only killed like, 2 or 3 hundred.

17 Jul 2012 12:37 PM
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Apos     
Cndn Bacon: I'm surprised this wasn't on there:

[images.moviepostershop.com image 200x303]

What a load of crap that was.



GAH! Why did you have to remind us of this abomination?!

17 Jul 2012 12:47 PM
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Tyrone Slothrop     
Fart_Machine: No mention of David Lynch's Crash? James Spader farking Rosanna Arquette's scar?

Probably something to do with it being a David Cronenburg film, not David Lynch.

/And Two Moon Junction was quite hot.

17 Jul 2012 12:47 PM
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Fart_Machine     
Tyrone Slothrop: Probably something to do with it being a David Cronenburg film, not David Lynch.

Ah my mistake. I got my David's mixed up.

17 Jul 2012 12:48 PM
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Snapper Carr     
Fart_Machine: No mention of David Lynch's Crash? James Spader farking Rosanna Arquette's scar?

Wrong David...Cronenberg, not Lynch.

If you're looking for conventional eroticism in a Cronenberg film, you're definitely doing it wrong

17 Jul 2012 12:49 PM
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tooeasy     
JammerJim: Bruce Willis was in that movie?

yeah, this

17 Jul 2012 12:53 PM
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ColSanders     
ExperianScaresCthulhu: I'm not clicking on the link, but Color of Night was hot. Jane March in the kitchen wearing only an apron..... she and Bruce smoked.

This.

17 Jul 2012 12:53 PM
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Dwight_Yeast     
Snapper Carr: If you're looking for conventional eroticism in a Cronenberg film, you're definitely doing it wrong

Lynch isn't much better. Blue Velvet is more like a particularly bad night's drinking which never seems to end.

17 Jul 2012 01:08 PM
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rcf1105    [TotalFark]  
The erotic scenes from "Killing Me Softly" are certainly nice.

No idea about the rest of the movie. never seen it.

17 Jul 2012 01:12 PM
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Snapper Carr     
Dwight_Yeast: Lynch isn't much better. Blue Velvet is more like a particularly bad night's drinking which never seems to end.

Wild at Heart and Mulholland Drive both have some seriously hot scenes...

Cronenberg on the other hand just does weird fetishistic stuff which I find both intriguing and highly offputting (Videodrome, Existenz, Crash et al)

17 Jul 2012 01:13 PM
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otherginger     
Hey, I own Color of Night. And it sure isn't because of the sophisticated dialogue.

17 Jul 2012 01:26 PM
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Profedius     
akula: Hey, Jane Marsh in Color of Night was damn hot. Awesome rack on that one.

I agree big time that apron and pool scene do it for me.

17 Jul 2012 01:51 PM
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dj_spanmaster    [TotalFark]  
Andrew Wiggin: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

yep i'd hit it (nsfw)

nsfw


Huh. I might be interested in seeing more of the lady (and less of Willis).

17 Jul 2012 01:52 PM
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Zulu_as_Kono     
dj_spanmaster: I might be interested in seeing more of the lady

You'll see a lot more of her in this.

17 Jul 2012 02:17 PM
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Flappyhead     
Zulu_as_Kono: dj_spanmaster: I might be interested in seeing more of the lady

You'll see a lot more of her in this.


I avoided that one for a few years, then found out March turned 18 just prior to filming. Many kittens were slain.

17 Jul 2012 02:32 PM
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ExperianScaresCthulhu     
Zulu_as_Kono: dj_spanmaster: I might be interested in seeing more of the lady

You'll see a lot more of her in this.


... so.. why *did* they cast a half-asian actress instead of a white actress for the role of a white woman (girl, really) who is the lover of a much older very asian man? I have to agree with some of the folks in that thread: i'd be offended, too, because it takes the thrust of the story, and turns it into something else.

the other thing about the thread is... do Asian people care about Asian roles in race movies? or are the people who say that Jane March was acceptably white... I don't know, what race are they, and what could be the motive for saying it?

17 Jul 2012 02:48 PM
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Ryker's Peninsula     
Deadgirl.

17 Jul 2012 02:53 PM
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Profedius     
Zulu_as_Kono: dj_spanmaster: I might be interested in seeing more of the lady

You'll see a lot more of her in this.


A lot of that is a body double during the sex scenes, but the full frontal is her when she is watering the plants.

17 Jul 2012 03:33 PM
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otherginger     
It's still a great invocation of the literal and social steaminess of remote South East Asia at the end of the French regime. And the Asian guy is really hot.

17 Jul 2012 03:43 PM
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rubi_con_man     
I dunno, I got a lot of action from one GF who dig SLIVER

17 Jul 2012 04:02 PM
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Jim from Saint Paul    [TotalFark]  
Boxing Helena showed me this song.

That's some good stuff.

/Dooo-doooo-dee-doo

17 Jul 2012 04:16 PM
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Jim from Saint Paul    [TotalFark]  
So I have fapped to all of those, the sears catalog and to All My Children.

I think this makes me a bad person or something.

17 Jul 2012 04:19 PM
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dj_spanmaster    [TotalFark]  
ExperianScaresCthulhu: i'd be offended, too, because it takes the thrust of the story, and turns it into something else.

I hate it when that happens!

17 Jul 2012 04:33 PM
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HAMMERTOE     
Didn't click on the link. Was Gigli on there, because that movie was rigli, rigli bad.

17 Jul 2012 04:40 PM
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Profedius     
Jim from Saint Paul: So I have fapped to all of those, the sears catalog and to All My Children.

I think this makes me a bad person or something.


Fapping to your kids is kind of a bad thing people do not like it when you do that. :)

I fapped to all of them too

17 Jul 2012 05:01 PM
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Mikmaq Paddywhack     
Cndn Bacon: I'm surprised this wasn't on there:

[images.moviepostershop.com image 200x303]

What a load of crap that was.


If that movie had come out in the modern internet age, it'd eclipse Gigli.

17 Jul 2012 05:03 PM
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Persnickety     
HAMMERTOE: Didn't click on the link. Was Gigli on there, because that movie was rigli, rigli bad.

+1

17 Jul 2012 06:06 PM
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fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
What about this classic?

www.afterelton.com

Where else are going to get to see Alfred and Superman make out?

17 Jul 2012 06:31 PM
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rjakobi     
All I remember from Color Of Night was the remote control tank in the bathtub and thinking "hey that's totally not safe" and stuff.

17 Jul 2012 06:41 PM
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Dwight_Yeast     
fusillade762: What about this classic?

[www.afterelton.com image 540x360]

Where else are going to get to see Alfred and Superman make out?


On the other hand, the sexual tension between Caine and Jude Law in the remake of Sleuth was... disturbing.

/if Jude wasn't a rent boy when he was younger, he should have been

17 Jul 2012 08:34 PM
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