6. Guess which coffee pot I pissed in.

7. I burned the popcorn in the breakroom microwave.

FTFA: 4. "I wish..." When your boss hears you say this, the first thing she is thinking is, "I wish I'd hired someone else." Don't wish, want, or hope anything. As a leader, you go out there and make things happen. You take responsibility and control of the situation. You certainly don't sit back and wish for change. Leaders are drivers, not passengers hoping good things happen. Wishing makes you look lazy and/or ineffective. Your boss wants you to stop talking about what you hope would happen and start making something happen.

Sometimes, you can't just "make things happen." Making things happen requires resources that might not be available to you, especially money. If the company needs specific software or hardware, you just can't make it magically appear, you can do some leg work, but if you boss doesn't approve the budget, it's not going to happen.

5. "But we've always done it that way."

What if your boss is the one using this phrase?

ManateeGag: 5. "But we've always done it that way."

What if your boss is the one using this phrase?

I award you 10 internets for that question.

Hmmm...

This Dear Author has obviously never worked in the food and beverage industry...

1. "There's nothing I can do.

In the food and beverage industry, an order is late, and we run out of something because demand for a special was heavy over the weekend: it's gone. It will be replaced, but there is NO way to replace it right then and there. Wanting something won't make the truck come in faster, and weighting inventory so that we run heavy on perishable goods that may not be used is not the way to run a profitable kitchen.

2. "It's not fair."

Sometimes it ain't. That's the gamut in this industry. They key is to deal with that, and freeze out or leap past the pissing match managers who play that game.

3. "That's impossible."

As a chef, I'm asked to do the impossible all the time. Kosher lobster. Vegan omelets. Dairy free Alfredo. A pink in the middle extra well done steaks. Vegan Caesar dressing. Folks ask for the impossible ALL the time. Because they think that they are foodies and know food, yet seem to have no concept of how the stuff is prepared, or even what the ingredients are. I am comfortable making work arounds for folks to accommodate their dietary restrictions, but likewise, I am comfortable telling folks that just because they can say the words, doesn't mean that such things exist or can exist. Plus, there's that whole Can't Break the Laws of Thermodynamics that people seem to feel is only for plebes...

4. "I wish..."

That is the game that EVERYONE in the industry plays. From chef to dishwasher. Take that away, and you pretty much have to replace the entire industry with Fembots.

5. "But we've always done it that way."

This is something that I agree shouldn't hold a policy into place alone, but again, this is an industry standard, and one that pretty much holds in a lot of joints. The key is to not innovate policy just for the sake of innovating, but replacing it for something better--and that means understanding exactly why the policy was instituted in the first place.

In the restaurant industry, especially. Understand why it was done in the first place, before changing it. There is often a good reason for it--something else that has to be fixed before you can change the thing that is bugging you. Like coffee stored on a shelf that is difficult to reach. Why? Because the line to the coffee pot leaks, and if you keep coffee next to the pots, it will stain the table and ruin the bags. To go containers on a low shelf? Because there is a mouse hole behind the shelf that you'd like to use, and the suckers kept getting gnawed on. Understand BEFORE changing things is necessary.

And now that I think of it, my boss has used and continues to use all 5 on a regular basis. But it's OK, we work overtime to cover for her deficiencies.

3. "That's impossible."

Sounds like the douche who wrote this article wants to make sure he only employs people with equal or lesser knowledge about his field than he has. After all, being informed that your request is downright stupid (in kinder words than that) is downright EMBARRASSING.

Sorry, sometimes things are just NOT POSSIBLE. Especially when you refuse to expand our toolset to MAKE shiat possible.

6. I farked her with a Parsnip..then sold it to a family with four small children.

PROMOTED!

Meanwhile in the blue collar world

1 There is...
You don't get paid to think, you do what your told

2 It's...
You don't get paid to think, you do what your told

3 That's..
You don't get paid to think, you do what your told

4 I wish..
You don't get paid to think, you do what your told

5 But...
You don't get paid to think, you do what your told

3. "That's impossible."

story time!

once upon a time, we had a fire in the IT building's electrical room. the switch over to the backup generators failed and we lost power. now, lucky for us we didn't suffer any significant level of damage to the hardware...the fire was localized, the fire department was on the spot within minutes and the building's internal structure wasn't damaged. however, we were down for about 2 days while we checked everything out, brought systems back on line and checked every line in the building to make sure nothing else was damaged. everyone busted their asses for those two days, long nights for all involved.

so i'm at the tail end of a 14 hour day and I get a call from a secretary. she's mad as hell because her reports didn't spit out on the printer and gotdammit she NEEDS them! I calmly explain that we can't generate her reports because we had a fire yesterday and everything is offline. she doesn't care...she wants her reports and she wants them RIGHT NOW. again, I calmly explain that as soon as the building has power restored and the mainframe is back online, I'll make her reports top priority. again not good enough. So she hangs up, and then calls the department VP. talks for a few minutes, I don't hear what he tells her...the whole time he's just rolling his eyes though. they hang up the call, the VP looks at me, shrugs, and then goes back into his meeting with the electrical guys.

sometimes, there really isn't anything you can do and sometimes a request really IS impossible.

8. Something on your desk has been up my ass.

kingoomieiii: 3. "That's impossible."

Sounds like the douche who wrote this article wants to make sure he only employs people with equal or lesser knowledge about his field than he has. After all, being informed that your request is downright stupid (in kinder words than that) is downright EMBARRASSING.

Sorry, sometimes things are just NOT POSSIBLE. Especially when you refuse to expand our toolset to MAKE shiat possible.

I think he phrased it poorly. He's against people who shut ideas down without thinking them through. I work with a lot of people like that. Instead of focusing on what can be done, they just shiatcan the whole idea. You're a far better employee if you counter with "well, we can't do all of that, but here's what we can do..."

Although he left one off the list that I've been dealing with a lot lately: "You don't think I know what I'm talking about?" (when challenged on anything)

Well, maybe I don't, maybe I do. Maybe I'd like some clarification. Maybe you DO know what you're talking about but you've explained yourself poorly. Either way, attempting to shut down legitimate questions by getting defensive makes you a shiatty team player. Not all questions about your conclusions are an attempt to undermine your authority. Sometimes they are just for clarification.

kingoomieiii: 3. "That's impossible."

Sounds like the douche who wrote this article wants to make sure he only employs people with equal or lesser knowledge about his field than he has. After all, being informed that your request is downright stupid (in kinder words than that) is downright EMBARRASSING.

Sorry, sometimes things are just NOT POSSIBLE. Especially when you refuse to expand our toolset to MAKE shiat possible.

boss: 'I need you to do this thing for me.'
me: 'um...can I get a copy of [necessary application here] to do it?'
boss: 'no, that's not in the budget.'
me: 'hmm...ok, I can do it but I need three days and no questions asked.'
boss: 'um...what does that mean..?'
me: 'it means it'll get done, just like you want.'
boss: 'uh...i'll see about getting you that application you need.'
me: 'its all good either way.'

you have to know HOW to talk to people.

Apparently, I was more original than I suspected

/but I guess achieving the goal is more important than technique

Weaver95: 3. "That's impossible."

story time!

once upon a time, we had a fire in the IT building's electrical room. the switch over to the backup generators failed and we lost power. now, lucky for us we didn't suffer any significant level of damage to the hardware...the fire was localized, the fire department was on the spot within minutes and the building's internal structure wasn't damaged. however, we were down for about 2 days while we checked everything out, brought systems back on line and checked every line in the building to make sure nothing else was damaged. everyone busted their asses for those two days, long nights for all involved.

so i'm at the tail end of a 14 hour day and I get a call from a secretary. she's mad as hell because her reports didn't spit out on the printer and gotdammit she NEEDS them! I calmly explain that we can't generate her reports because we had a fire yesterday and everything is offline. she doesn't care...she wants her reports and she wants them RIGHT NOW. again, I calmly explain that as soon as the building has power restored and the mainframe is back online, I'll make her reports top priority. again not good enough. So she hangs up, and then calls the department VP. talks for a few minutes, I don't hear what he tells her...the whole time he's just rolling his eyes though. they hang up the call, the VP looks at me, shrugs, and then goes back into his meeting with the electrical guys.

sometimes, there really isn't anything you can do and sometimes a request really IS impossible.

Sounds like someone who adds no value to the business and should be considered for termination. She clearly has no other role to perform.

9. I need to take the day off. Work has been cutting into my gaming time. Seriously there is a new expansion on Battlefield dude.

Weaver95: 3. "That's impossible."

story time!

once upon a time, we had a fire in the IT building's electrical room. the switch over to the backup generators failed and we lost power. now, lucky for us we didn't suffer any significant level of damage to the hardware...the fire was localized, the fire department was on the spot within minutes and the building's internal structure wasn't damaged. however, we were down for about 2 days while we checked everything out, brought systems back on line and checked every line in the building to make sure nothing else was damaged. everyone busted their asses for those two days, long nights for all involved.

so i'm at the tail end of a 14 hour day and I get a call from a secretary. she's mad as hell because her reports didn't spit out on the printer and gotdammit she NEEDS them! I calmly explain that we can't generate her reports because we had a fire yesterday and everything is offline. she doesn't care...she wants her reports and she wants them RIGHT NOW. again, I calmly explain that as soon as the building has power restored and the mainframe is back online, I'll make her reports top priority. again not good enough. So she hangs up, and then calls the department VP. talks for a few minutes, I don't hear what he tells her...the whole time he's just rolling his eyes though. they hang up the call, the VP looks at me, shrugs, and then goes back into his meeting with the electrical guys.

sometimes, there really isn't anything you can do and sometimes a request really IS impossible.

We lost an entire data center for a week because of a massive sewage leak, and when one particularly upset VP came stomping down to demand that we power on whatever servers were hosting his data, our CIO dragged him into the data center, shiat smell and all, and gave him a 15 minute tour of a data center that was covered in dry raw sewage. It smelled awful, but he stuck with it and wouldn't let the VP leave. He explained in excruciating detail for 10 minutes why a particular shiatwater-covered rack full of servers held most of his data, but it couldn't be turned on. Because of the shiat. And the water. And the smell, which had already spread throughout the floor but would encompass the whole building if we powered on the chillers.

He was a great CIO, but he left about a year later.

Lsherm: Sounds like you and Weaver95 need to school your businesses on the importance of a disaster recovery/business continuity plan.

It's fine to say that in those circumstances that something is impossible when clearly it is. The questions I'm not hearing is "Why is it impossible? Why isn't there a contingency plan?"

Or course, I'm looking at it from the outside. Perhaps your CIO wanted a plan and couldn't convince the company to go through the effort. If that were the case I'd leave, too.

"Holy shiat! During Spring Break in '98 in Cancun my bro and I *totally* went all 'Rotisserie Chicken' on that skank in that picture on your desk!"

Diogenes: Lsherm: Sounds like you and Weaver95 need to school your businesses on the importance of a disaster recovery/business continuity plan.

It's fine to say that in those circumstances that something is impossible when clearly it is. The questions I'm not hearing is "Why is it impossible? Why isn't there a contingency plan?"

Or course, I'm looking at it from the outside. Perhaps your CIO wanted a plan and couldn't convince the company to go through the effort. If that were the case I'd leave, too.

oddly enough, our disaster recovery plan was ready to kick in...but we STILL lost 18 hours of data due to when the fire occured (right in the middle of a batch cycle just before main system backups were to happen). the bean counters nixed the idea of activating the fail over datacenter due to cost and the fact that our primary building was back online within 24 hours of the fire, but we ran minimal services at first...then brought systems back online as we checked them out.

so to clarify: there WAS a contingency plan, it WAS activated, but it was overruled by the accounting department and while corporate argued with managment, we fixed the problem and were back online before the paper pushers had come to a decision. the IT department was focused, the senior managers...not so much.

Weaver95: so to clarify: there WAS a contingency plan, it WAS activated, but it was overruled by the accounting department and while corporate argued with managment, we fixed the problem and were back online before the paper pushers had come to a decision. the IT department was focused, the senior managers...not so much.

Color me shocked. We're at war with our management right now, too. New policies that are absolutely unsustainable. And it's showing.

Diogenes: Lsherm: Sounds like you and Weaver95 need to school your businesses on the importance of a disaster recovery/business continuity plan.

It's fine to say that in those circumstances that something is impossible when clearly it is. The questions I'm not hearing is "Why is it impossible? Why isn't there a contingency plan?"

Or course, I'm looking at it from the outside. Perhaps your CIO wanted a plan and couldn't convince the company to go through the effort. If that were the case I'd leave, too.

Oh hell, this was almost 15 years ago. We had offsite backup tapes, but the days of failing over to a backup data center weren't in effect yet. We didn't end up losing a whole lot of data, but it was a rough week. The city further complicated matters by having to certify that everything had been properly cleaned before we turned machines back on and they tested the air hourly for two weeks after that to make sure we weren't colonizing new bacteria, I guess.

For the time, our contingency plan actually worked pretty well. For the accounting racks, which absolutely could not be down for a week, we ended up renting rack space down the street and running the software there on new servers after the first day. The only flaw in the overall plan was that we had a single data center, which wasn't unusual at the time, and we weren't allowed to turn anything on for over a week, which was unusual.

Diogenes: Weaver95: so to clarify: there WAS a contingency plan, it WAS activated, but it was overruled by the accounting department and while corporate argued with managment, we fixed the problem and were back online before the paper pushers had come to a decision. the IT department was focused, the senior managers...not so much.

Color me shocked. We're at war with our management right now, too. New policies that are absolutely unsustainable. And it's showing.

In retrospect, I think that's what got me laid off - I made the apparently unforgivable mistake of answering truthfully when asked what worked and what didn't about our outsourcing plan. I mean, it wasn't completely borked...the outsourcing folks were severely under trained, totally lacking in direction and needed constant supervision...all of which could have been managed, but it added to the cost of the operation.

lot of people in that company getting laid off and/or forced into early retirement right now.

Weaver95: Diogenes: Weaver95: so to clarify: there WAS a contingency plan, it WAS activated, but it was overruled by the accounting department and while corporate argued with managment, we fixed the problem and were back online before the paper pushers had come to a decision. the IT department was focused, the senior managers...not so much.

Color me shocked. We're at war with our management right now, too. New policies that are absolutely unsustainable. And it's showing.

In retrospect, I think that's what got me laid off - I made the apparently unforgivable mistake of answering truthfully when asked what worked and what didn't about our outsourcing plan. I mean, it wasn't completely borked...the outsourcing folks were severely under trained, totally lacking in direction and needed constant supervision...all of which could have been managed, but it added to the cost of the operation.

lot of people in that company getting laid off and/or forced into early retirement right now.

Yep. Sounds to me like it was a done deal and they wanted your seal of approval regardless of whether it was the right decision or not.

I got kicked off an evaluation team for a new ticketing system and process. They were shoehorning the damned thing in, and the system itself was terrible for any number of reasons. The legacy system would have been better.

I didn't suffer any long term consequences but I can happily state that system never went live.

Owing to a time difference confusion I was once asked to present yesterday.

Diogenes:
I didn't suffer any long term consequences but I can happily state that system never went live.

thing of it is, when they laid me off...they really screwed their weekend/off shift operations. I pulled a LOT of hours on weekends and nights. they've had to shuffle people around to fill the rather large gaping hole in their off shift coverage, and now they're paying out overtime to make sure someone is there 24/7. and that's not counting all the custom coding I did for three other departments, plus all the shiat I covered for my week night OCD busybody coworker. I was involved in a LOT of work for a lot of people....and from what I understand, it's caused some disruptions. Not intentional mind you...but the layoffs hit and I never finished the projects I was working on.

blah. my job search continues. I've gotten a couple/few leads from fark and sent out resumes all over creation. now i'm waiting to see if I get any responses.

Diogenes: Weaver95: Diogenes: Weaver95: so to clarify: there WAS a contingency plan, it WAS activated, but it was overruled by the accounting department and while corporate argued with managment, we fixed the problem and were back online before the paper pushers had come to a decision. the IT department was focused, the senior managers...not so much.

Color me shocked. We're at war with our management right now, too. New policies that are absolutely unsustainable. And it's showing.

In retrospect, I think that's what got me laid off - I made the apparently unforgivable mistake of answering truthfully when asked what worked and what didn't about our outsourcing plan. I mean, it wasn't completely borked...the outsourcing folks were severely under trained, totally lacking in direction and needed constant supervision...all of which could have been managed, but it added to the cost of the operation.

lot of people in that company getting laid off and/or forced into early retirement right now.

Yep. Sounds to me like it was a done deal and they wanted your seal of approval regardless of whether it was the right decision or not.

I got kicked off an evaluation team for a new ticketing system and process. They were shoehorning the damned thing in, and the system itself was terrible for any number of reasons. The legacy system would have been better.

I didn't suffer any long term consequences but I can happily state that system never went live.

One of the things that I liked about working for Aramark, at least the Sports/Entertainment division, is that while we were often asked to do the impossible, with too few folks, our management was right there in with us. They all had not just line experience, but were day to day right in there with us. First guy into the dishroom was the Executive Chef. First guy to run things to satellite kitchens in the building as well. First guy to start making hot dogs when the lines got crazy or schlepping pizzas, was Chef Jay. He was the definition of a working chef, and while we did gorgeous work in the clubs, and he loved that about the gig, he never let anyone forget that we were making more money on the concessions food, and THAT had to stay top quality as well. He worked miracles to keep concerns stocked, to make sure that we had everything we needed, and if we didn't, he was the one who went to the wall for us. He intimately knew the limitations of the building, and his people, and he went to bat for us from Corporate a lot.

Our Corporate chef, was likewise a guy who had been on the line. Not just on the line, but had been Chef Jay's Exec back in the day. During our hosting the NRA Convention a few years ago, Chef O'Brian came in, and he was in charge of the entire Western Seaboard area for Aramark, for Sports/Entertainment. He was in the trenches with us. No question, just grabbed a knife, and a spatula, and went to work. He was on the serving line, and he rolled out with us when after we'd plated 20,000 of the 24,000 plates for that event, that we managed to do after our own separate catering events in the other tower. He ran upstairs with us to hand out plates to servers, and made sure that tables got the right orders. Our crew essentially whipped the pants off the Convention Center staff, and then we went to fix their mistakes, and our own events went off without a hitch. Because we knew when to ask for help. When to say, "I can't do this alone." We were a team, and the Convention Center were a bunch of egos rolling into one another.

Teamwork is often an under rated skill. Everyone likes being the hotshot. Indispensable. And kitchens just don't work that way, at least not well. You have to rely on your team, and visa versa, and Chef Jay knew that, and so did Chef O'Brian. No job was too small, no detail was beneath noticing. You saw something jacked up, you fixed it, and if you couldn't, you made sure folks knew about it, to get it fixed, ASAP so someone else didn't have to deal with it. Part of being good on a team is knowing your limitations, the limitations of your facility, the limitations of those around you, and shoring them up, so that they can do the same for you, because YOU aren't the best EVERYTHING either.

"I can't do that right now" isn't a cop-out if it's true. If you're honest about what you have going on, the time you have to do it. Better to be honest, so that things can get assigned to the right person for the job, as opposed to volunteering for failure, that someone else will then have to clean up. Kitchen crews tend towards that sort of honesty about their limitations, and then exceeding them in a clutch. Because you know that the other members of your team will do the same for you.

This BS management adviser/Our Dear Author is glad handing folks to tell them crap that they don't really need, and making a good living at it. I am happy for him, that he's found a niche, but his advice means f*ck all to me...

Tigger: Owing to a time difference confusion I was once asked to present yesterday.

Your unwillingness to go the extra mile and think outside the box really demonstrates that you don't deserve this job.

Is it just me or does the author of that article need a good, swift punch in the snout?

#10: It's not a violent felony, you can't hold it against me

Huh.

Last i knew, "But we've always done it that way" is a surefire way to keep your job in a recession.

I know I get a hell of a lot of pushback trying to fix things that bother our customers but are kept because some developer loves the feature.

It's really hard to drill into software developers that will never or rarely use the software out in a real world environment "You are developing this UI for people with (maybe) a high school diploma or GED; not other software devs".

PacManDreaming: Is it just me or does the author of that article need a good, swift punch in the snout?

Yes. He sounds like a simplistic, "don't bother me with the details" sort of authoritarian.

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

10. Yes, I did violate the restraining order, but that's only because I thought the distance was measured in feet, not yards.

11. Do you know if whiteboard cleaner can remove semen from a computer display? Because if so, I'd like to order about a gallon of whiteboard cleaner from Staples.

My boss created a new rule last month - timesheets must be filled out weekly, or we don't get paid for that time. (We get paid once a month, billing is at the same time). The timesheets are even kept in a single electronic file that is one month long. But if we don't have our time in on Monday morning, we don't get paid for the previous week.

I told him, flat out, "No. If you do this, I will walk off the job." I consider that sufficient notice that if my paycheck is short on the 3rd of August I will do exactly what I said.

12. I thought your daughter was 18.

Diogenes: PacManDreaming: Is it just me or does the author of that article need a good, swift punch in the snout?

Yes. He sounds like a simplistic, "don't bother me with the details" sort of authoritarian.

No, he's a corporate cheerleader. He's the sort of consultant that folks hire to pat people on the back, give them some catchphrases, and get them "fired up" which translates to a tax deduction later on. He is the sort of parasite that is touted as a free thinker, and is personable enough to not get punched in the junk when he proposes his "advice" to management.

He is exactly the sort of person that my former company was glad to take money from, and never give to. Sometimes the best thing to do with a parasite like this is milk them for their cash and send them on their way...

/Yes, we charged the f*ck out of Zig Ziglar when he came to Glendale Arena...

RickyBRicky: 12. I thought your daughter was 18.

13. 8+10=18, right?

ManateeGag: 5. "But we've always done it that way."

What if your boss is the one using this phrase?

At one time or another, I've heard my bosses use all of these phrases.

/you can tell this was written with the mindset of someone who has never worked outside of management or HR.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
Kicking back at home on worker's comp.

What is your biggest weakness?
Alcohol.

Exception Collection: My boss created a new rule last month - timesheets must be filled out weekly, or we don't get paid for that time. (We get paid once a month, billing is at the same time). The timesheets are even kept in a single electronic file that is one month long. But if we don't have our time in on Monday morning, we don't get paid for the previous week.

I told him, flat out, "No. If you do this, I will walk off the job." I consider that sufficient notice that if my paycheck is short on the 3rd of August I will do exactly what I said.

I'm 99% sure that's illegal and he would open himself to lawsuits if he withheld wages that you worked.

We have several data centers spread around the country. Each customer's data resides on one of them, more or less arbitrarily. If we lose a data center, we can get our dark data center online to replace it in about 2 days, most of which time would be to restore from tape flown across the country.

I'd hate to hear the whining from our clients during those 2 days, ugh. They can be a whiny bunch, and threaten to cancel their contracts.

6. "Don't you feel like an idiot now?"

Okay, I wasn't exactly fired, but I was told to never contact that client again.


/ truestory.jpg

1. "There's nothing I can do." When you say that there is nothing you can do, we learn two things about you: You're a liar, and you're lazy

I guess you've never worked in the IT field. If you foobar your zone file and set the TTL to 24 hours there is NOTHING I can do to get your site/email working again within the next 24 hours.

A hacker nuked your site and you don't have a backup? There's nothing I can do for you.

You let your domain name expire and some Russian scammer grabbed it? There's nothing I can do for you.

I could go on and on. Sometimes there is LITERALLY nothing I can do to solve your problem. Call me lazy and a liar all day long if it makes you feel any better.

As someone who starts a new gig next week, I'm getting a kick...

/The $950 payout from the accrued PTO isn't enough for the time I've been here
//but it's a start.

Missing the point.

As a few of you know, most people are paid or employed to solve problems. As a manager you try to cultivate your charges into problem solvers as well.

When you here these phrases you realize you have people who can't think for themselves.

As a Manager, I would turn the phrase around and put in back on the employee

"Thats Impossible". My response, "But if it were possible, how would we do it"

"I don't know what to do" My response " OK, but if you did know what to do, what would it be"

You would be amazed how many times people have the right answer they just have not developed the skill of a problem solver quite yet.

maxx2112: 6. "Don't you feel like an idiot now?"

Okay, I wasn't exactly fired, but I was told to never contact that client again.


/ truestory.jpg

Some clients are dumb. They need to be told they are dumb. I had one client reply to an e-mail I sent her saying that she never received a certain e-mail. Even though the e-mail she was using to reply to me with was the e-mail in question. I bit my tongue...... Though I wanted to strangle her.

FTA: If you find yourself saying this, grow up. Little Joey doesn't have to share his Tonka truck with you. Of course things aren't fair. It's not fair that millions of young boys and girls are kidnapped or sold into sex slavery each year or that hundreds of millions of people don't have enough to eat. If you are complaining about something trivial, it sounds like you are whining. And who hates whiners? Everyone, including your boss.

I bet "this isn't fair" would be the first words out of this turd's mouth if I beat him unconscious, tied him him, and sold him into slavery.

Once during a staff meeting the boss was explaining that they were redoing the bonus structure.

He went through a whole dog-and-pony show, with a fancy little Powerpoint presentation, and it was ridiculously obvious that they were going to pay us LESS.

So he wraps it up with "Anyone have any questions?"

and I just blurted out "Do you think we're all a bunch of idiots? You're gonna stand there and tell us that this means we get more money?".

Weirdly, I got laid off 3 weeks later. With a 14 week severance package right before summer :)