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   Top 5 Unhealthy Theme Park Foods. However, you'll only get my Funnel Cake when you peel it out of my cold dead hands

12 Aug 2012 03:31 AM   |   11286 clicks   |   ABC
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ThatGuyGreg    [TotalFark]  
Zeppoles > fried dough

11 Aug 2012 11:21 PM
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Ed Finnerty     
Are you trying to tell me that an all-theme-park diet isn't healthy?

12 Aug 2012 12:21 AM
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Makh    [TotalFark]  
I'm pretty sure the appeal of a theme park/carnival is not their healthy options. These foods shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. Try eating better the rest of the year.

This is now the top five foods you should eat before you leave.

12 Aug 2012 12:27 AM
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Snarcoleptic_Hoosier    [TotalFark]  
Or, you could show up a little early, bring a cooler, and have a quick sandwich before going to a themepark if you're really concerned with watching calories.

/I do that because I'm cheap

12 Aug 2012 12:53 AM
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Jamdug!    [TotalFark]  
That article could have also been entitled: "How to be the least interesting person on Earth"

12 Aug 2012 01:22 AM
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rynthetyn    [TotalFark]  
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Or, you could show up a little early, bring a cooler, and have a quick sandwich before going to a themepark if you're really concerned with watching calories.

/I do that because I'm cheap


That's what I'd do when I had an annual Busch Gardens pass. We all quickly agreed that there wasn't any food in the place that we really wanted to spend money on and after that started bringing a cooler and going back out to the parking lot for lunch.

12 Aug 2012 01:40 AM
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TsarTom    [TotalFark]  
The only reason I go to crap state fairs or an amusement park is to eat all that shiat.
For me, there is no other reason to go.

12 Aug 2012 02:11 AM
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Sergeant Angle     
Deep fried twinkees!!

Redneck level: 15

12 Aug 2012 03:36 AM
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SageC     
Dr. Agon: Has he asked for anything special?
Dr. Melik: Yes, this morning for breakfast. He requested something called wheat germ, organic honey and tiger's milk.
Dr. Agon: [ laughs ] Oh, yes. Those were the charmed substances... that some years ago were felt to contain life-preserving properties.
Dr. Melik: You mean there was no deep fat? No steak or cream pies? Or hot fudge?
Dr. Agon: Those were thought to be unhealthy, precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true.
Dr. Melik: Incredible.

12 Aug 2012 03:39 AM
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tjsands1118     
So sooner then later subby?

12 Aug 2012 03:39 AM
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bucket_chemist     
I got the the 100 calories each deep fried oreos and thought "That's not so bad". I neglected to consider they are only sold in bulk.

12 Aug 2012 03:42 AM
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Harry_Seldon     
Ed Finnerty: Are you trying to tell me that an all-theme-park diet isn't healthy?

There are redeeming qualities...

static8.businessinsider.com

12 Aug 2012 03:46 AM
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SamFlagg    [TotalFark]  
FTFA:

Diet Disaster: Soft Pretzels

It's not fried, it's not dipped in anything, so it's safe, right? Not when it's as big as your face. A jumbo-variety soft pretzel will cost you 527 calories and over 100g of carbs-almost your entire daily allowance.


Not dipped in anything? I buy my soft pretzels from the Amish, they dip those things in butter. What kind of wussy carnival is this???

12 Aug 2012 03:52 AM
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Tenatra     
Damn fairs... I personally hate them and the ridiculous prices on nearly every farking thing there. This saves me some money, but my fiancee and the girls absolutely love them. We went the other day mainly to scope it out and see what was there this year at the Missouri State Fair. I Spent $71 total for admission, some food and a ride on the Ferris wheel.

/They are going to go back next week with the fiancee's dad to ride crap. Which I'll be shelling out at least $86 for the 4 ride passes alone not to mention admission/food...

12 Aug 2012 04:06 AM
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Captain_Ballbeard     
rynthetyn: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Or, you could show up a little early, bring a cooler, and have a quick sandwich before going to a themepark if you're really concerned with watching calories.

/I do that because I'm cheap

That's what I'd do when I had an annual Busch Gardens pass. We all quickly agreed that there wasn't any food in the place that we really wanted to spend money on and after that started bringing a cooler and going back out to the parking lot for lunch.


We got shut down by White Water for doing that. Security people told us that "health regulations" would not allow us to eat in the parking lot. Of course, they couldn't cite any such regulation and fell back on threatening to have us arrested. Congrats White Water, my kids hate you with the fire of a thousand suns.

12 Aug 2012 04:08 AM
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NDP2     
Clicked link for mention of elephant ears. Leave disappointed (but relieved).

12 Aug 2012 04:11 AM
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poodebunker     
I'll eat what I want. The health nazi's need to back the hell off! Some of us can do things in moderation.

12 Aug 2012 04:15 AM
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LeafyGreens     
Tenatra: Damn fairs... I personally hate them and the ridiculous prices on nearly every farking thing there. This saves me some money, but my fiancee and the girls absolutely love them. We went the other day mainly to scope it out and see what was there this year at the Missouri State Fair. I Spent $71 total for admission, some food and a ride on the Ferris wheel.

/They are going to go back next week with the fiancee's dad to ride crap. Which I'll be shelling out at least $86 for the 4 ride passes alone not to mention admission/food...


Looks like someone won't be buying an Aston Martin this year,

12 Aug 2012 04:39 AM
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Robert Poopsmith     
Do I have to stop eating carnies? I marararnade them in cheap booze and lemon candy.

12 Aug 2012 04:39 AM
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LeafyGreens     
Robert Poopsmith: Do I have to stop eating carnies? I marararnade them in cheap booze and lemon candy.

Yes.

img.photobucket.com

12 Aug 2012 04:48 AM
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robohobo    [TotalFark]  
LeafyGreens: Robert Poopsmith: Do I have to stop eating carnies? I marararnade them in cheap booze and lemon candy.

Yes.

[img.photobucket.com image 321x480]


lol she's gross.

12 Aug 2012 04:54 AM
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Tenatra     
LeafyGreens: Looks like someone won't be buying an Aston Martin this year,

Heh if I could afford one I wouldn't care about fair money. Then again I'm much like my dad in spending habits and even after saving money I'd still refuse to buy something else until my car is on the verge of death. He drove a 86 Chevrolet Celebrity until 2002ish. (went from TSgt to CMSgt before he treated himself to something new) :p

12 Aug 2012 04:54 AM
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LordOfThePings     
Kabob

digilander.libero.it

Kebab

thepaleolunch.com

12 Aug 2012 04:59 AM
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sonorangal     
robohobo: LeafyGreens: Robert Poopsmith: Do I have to stop eating carnies? I marararnade them in cheap booze and lemon candy.

Yes.

[img.photobucket.com image 321x480]

lol she's gross.


No, honestly how many times a year would you eat the items listed in the article? It takes a couple or more years of no exercise and eating badly to get like that.

12 Aug 2012 05:02 AM
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robohobo    [TotalFark]  
My metabolism is beast, so I could probably manage for quite awhile.

12 Aug 2012 05:07 AM
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BolloxReader    [TotalFark]  
When I go to the state fair, I budget about $80-100 for food. I'll buy everything that looks appealing but if I'm not with a group of friends to share with I will just take a few bites of each item and toss the rest.

Despite this moderation I'm still a fattie. But it let's me sample far more treats without feeling like my gut was gonna blow.

12 Aug 2012 05:16 AM
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AbbeySomeone     
I'd be willing to bet that people eating these treats don't care much about the calorie content.

12 Aug 2012 05:52 AM
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BigBooper     
Wasn't someone breading and deep frying butter last year? I can't wait to see how someone tops that this year. How do you make something more unhealthy than deep fried fat?

Wait, they ground up bacon and made a burger out of it?!?! Monsters!

12 Aug 2012 06:00 AM
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highwayrun     
If you go to the carnival expecting to have the grilled chicken breast with apricot salsa on a bed of quinoa and then a Naked Juice to keep you going, (a) this carnival might be in Portland, in which case swap "Naked Juice" for "kombucha", or (b) you deserve what you get.

12 Aug 2012 06:38 AM
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drxym     
A better reason not to eat in theme parks is because they're a ripoff, Patronize theme parks which have sane food and drink policy and allow visitors to bring their own in.

12 Aug 2012 06:57 AM
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AbbeySomeone     
highwayrun: If you go to the carnival expecting to have the grilled chicken breast with apricot salsa on a bed of quinoa and then a Naked Juice to keep you going, (a) this carnival might be in Portland, in which case swap "Naked Juice" for "kombucha", or (b) you deserve what you get.

Portland has the best food carts.

12 Aug 2012 07:00 AM
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Harry_Seldon     
AbbeySomeone: highwayrun: If you go to the carnival expecting to have the grilled chicken breast with apricot salsa on a bed of quinoa and then a Naked Juice to keep you going, (a) this carnival might be in Portland, in which case swap "Naked Juice" for "kombucha", or (b) you deserve what you get.

Portland has the best food carts.


I suppose, but I hate eating meals on the streets. I prefer to eat the buffet in the club section at Blazer games.

12 Aug 2012 07:49 AM
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RadicalEryn82     
I don't really like any of the stuff mentioned in the article...but when I go to Cedar Point I have to have some Dippin' Dots...of course I haven't been there in like ten years but Im also about 100 pounds thinner then I was back then.

12 Aug 2012 07:58 AM
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skodabunny     
LeafyGreens: Robert Poopsmith: Do I have to stop eating carnies? I marararnade them in cheap booze and lemon candy.

Yes.

[img.photobucket.com image 321x480]


Her jawline looks shopped. Nobody with that fatness is gonna be without a sizeable double chin - especially in that pose.

\pixels, shops, my time

12 Aug 2012 08:00 AM
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bborchar     
If eating some of these the one or two times a year is a health concern, you have bigger problems. They are "treats" for a reason. And hell no, I'm not sharing my funnel cake.

12 Aug 2012 08:15 AM
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ComicBookGuy     
I was at something called the All Good Festival last month, and I got a couple of funnel cakes at it. No way I could finish either, even with help!!!

12 Aug 2012 08:19 AM
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indylaw     
You should feel like a terrible person for indulging in junk food at the county fair! Do penance by eating a truck full of fat-free snack cakes, fatty!

12 Aug 2012 08:23 AM
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Peepeye    [TotalFark]  
All that article did was give me a major craving for a turkey leg. And our fair doesn't arrive for another month. Dang it

12 Aug 2012 08:32 AM
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MythDragon    [TotalFark]  
media.edge-online.com
But cranking up the sugar levels is what gets the lines moving faster.

12 Aug 2012 08:36 AM
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WorkingInParadise    [TotalFark]  
Chicken fried bacon (with gravy) didn't make the list, so it's okay, right? Mmmmm.

12 Aug 2012 08:43 AM
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oryx     
Corn on the cob without butter? No.

12 Aug 2012 09:06 AM
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Jon iz teh kewl     
3.bp.blogspot.com

12 Aug 2012 09:17 AM
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phamwaa     
ThatGuyGreg: Zeppoles > fried dough

Sfinges -> fried dough

12 Aug 2012 10:06 AM
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eas81     
eff the funnel cake and hand me a freakin' churro!!

images.wikia.com

12 Aug 2012 10:30 AM
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The Incredible Sexual Egg    [TotalFark]  
MythDragon: [media.edge-online.com image 615x347]
But cranking up the sugar levels is what gets the lines moving faster.


HOLY SHIAT! I totally forgot about that game.



Jacking the caffeine levels in the coffee can make your guests move so fast it's almost impossible to click on them

12 Aug 2012 10:31 AM
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Kurmudgeon     
I do like the sausage sandwiches they have at our local fairs. They fry it all up in front of you with onions and peppers. That and a funnel cake and you're good to go. Be sure to get the diet soda because you've already got enough carbs in your hands to feed a refugee family for a week.

12 Aug 2012 11:06 AM
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Magook     
I worked at an amusement park (Boblo Island) for a couple of summers as a teenager making funnel cakes. My uniform reeked of greasy sweet dough even after washing. To this day the sight and smell of a funnel cake makes me queasy.

Tiny Tom Donuts, on the other hand...omnomonom

12 Aug 2012 11:56 AM
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WhippingBoy    [TotalFark]  
I remember going to the fair as a kid. The welfare kids would feast on cotton candy and funnel cakes. I'd be eating the soggy bologna sandwich my mom packed.

12 Aug 2012 11:58 AM
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Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom    [TotalFark]  
rynthetyn: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Or, you could show up a little early, bring a cooler, and have a quick sandwich before going to a themepark if you're really concerned with watching calories.

/I do that because I'm cheap

That's what I'd do when I had an annual Busch Gardens pass. We all quickly agreed that there wasn't any food in the place that we really wanted to spend money on and after that started bringing a cooler and going back out to the parking lot for lunch.


Dude, the bbq place over by the Montu is really good.

12 Aug 2012 12:31 PM
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ds_4815     
RadicalEryn82: I don't really like any of the stuff mentioned in the article...but when I go to Cedar Point I have to have some Dippin' Dots...of course I haven't been there in like ten years but Im also about 100 pounds thinner then I was back then.

Well, good luck trying to stay thin if you go back. Subway prices from three years ago:

i309.photobucket.com

/Also, new CP coaster leaked a day early, for those interested

12 Aug 2012 12:37 PM
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