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   Kristen Stewart is living only on Red Bull and cigarettes because...oh, who the hell cares

19 Aug 2012 04:14 AM   |   9357 clicks   |   Digital Spy
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cman    [TotalFark]  
Did I ever tell you that I really want to stick my finger up her woman parts?

18 Aug 2012 11:09 PM
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ecmoRandomNumbers    [TotalFark]  
I wish I had her discipline. I've been on a Tic-Tac and menthols diet.

18 Aug 2012 11:10 PM
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quatchi     
That girl needs a sammich.

18 Aug 2012 11:12 PM
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EasyWind    [TotalFark]  
Red bull and cigarettes? Back in the day she would've been living on reds and vitamin C and cocaine. All he friends would've said 'aint it a Farking shame'

18 Aug 2012 11:34 PM
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unlikely    [TotalFark]  
So she's vapid, hyper-strung-out, and smells like an ash tray?

Sounds great to me.

19 Aug 2012 12:41 AM
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Lionel Mandrake    [TotalFark]  
One of these days I'm going to make the effort and find out who the Hell this person is...but not today

19 Aug 2012 12:42 AM
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sithon    [TotalFark]  
cman: Did I ever tell you that I really want to stick my finger up her woman parts?

Classy

19 Aug 2012 12:47 AM
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Lionel Mandrake    [TotalFark]  
cman: Did I ever tell you that I really want to stick my finger up her woman parts?

What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? ... You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.

19 Aug 2012 01:10 AM
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Sid_6.7    [TotalFark]  
So she's still in college?

19 Aug 2012 01:15 AM
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SpikeStrip    [TotalFark]  
i780.photobucket.com

that's a dude. and so is the other one.

19 Aug 2012 01:47 AM
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thisispete    [TotalFark]  
There's clearly something very wrong with her if an apparent eating disorder is the way she reacts to a breakup, Especially if it was caused by her infidelity. There is a mourning period at the end of all relationships, but it sounds like she needs some professional help. Ongoing vilification by the legion of Twilight fans can't be good either.

19 Aug 2012 01:54 AM
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fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
Trampire.

19 Aug 2012 02:31 AM
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Ed Finnerty     
Dramatic girl is dramatic.

19 Aug 2012 02:42 AM
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GreenAdder    [TotalFark]  
So how long has she been a Unix SysAdmin, and why is this the first I'm finding out about it?

19 Aug 2012 02:47 AM
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Paris1127    [TotalFark]  
i.eatliver.com
Unfortunately, there isn't an image depicting Stewart after drinking a few Red Bulls...

19 Aug 2012 02:48 AM
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SoxSweepAgain     
Paris1127: [i.eatliver.com image 500x694]
Unfortunately, there isn't an image depicting Stewart after drinking a few Red Bulls...


I don't care I'd still rather have sex with Kristen Stewart than Emma Watson.

/Although both at once, and I'd agree to be shot afterwards.

19 Aug 2012 03:10 AM
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Alphax     
So she's dying?

19 Aug 2012 04:23 AM
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zerkalo     
What's the over/under on the ETA to rehab?

19 Aug 2012 04:32 AM
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Apos     
Method acting,perhaps? Oh wait.....

19 Aug 2012 04:33 AM
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Ed Finnerty     
I'll bet even her vagina has frown lines.

19 Aug 2012 04:37 AM
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Apos     
SpikeStrip: [i780.photobucket.com image 324x216]

that's a dude. and so is the other one.


That's the most emotion she's ever shown onscreen-and it must have taken a serious toll. No wonder she's dispensed with it since then.

19 Aug 2012 04:47 AM
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MagSeven     
SoxSweepAgain: Paris1127: [i.eatliver.com image 500x694]
Unfortunately, there isn't an image depicting Stewart after drinking a few Red Bulls...

I don't care I'd still rather have sex with Kristen Stewart than Emma Watson.

/Although both at once, and I'd agree to be shot afterwards.


Wow really? I don't find Stewart unattractive or anything, but I figure Watson would be more enthusiastic and saying awesome things in her English accent like "bugger me you coont! Stuff me fanny, you unbelievable filthy fookin shiate!" Then she'd sweep my chimney. I bet Stewart would just lay there like a fish until you finished, say "alright brah, check ya later.", and then leave to go to a Mumford and Sons show.

19 Aug 2012 05:04 AM
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Harry_Seldon     
Poor kid screwed herself and now is dealing with the humiliating consequences in such a public shaming. It looks like she is have some short term, possibly long term, professional fall out. Her "indiscretion" will likely cost here millions of dollars. Protecting the image is everything in modern public life.

19 Aug 2012 05:10 AM
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scamp-dun-emer     
MagSeven: SoxSweepAgain: Paris1127: [i.eatliver.com image 500x694]
Unfortunately, there isn't an image depicting Stewart after drinking a few Red Bulls...

I don't care I'd still rather have sex with Kristen Stewart than Emma Watson.

/Although both at once, and I'd agree to be shot afterwards.

Wow really? I don't find Stewart unattractive or anything, but I figure Watson would be more enthusiastic and saying awesome things in her English accent like "bugger me you coont! Stuff me fanny, you unbelievable filthy fookin shiate!" Then she'd sweep my chimney. I bet Stewart would just lay there like a fish until you finished, say "alright brah, check ya later.", and then leave to go to a Mumford and Sons show.


You seem to have put quite a lot of thought into that.

19 Aug 2012 05:27 AM
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wrenchboy     
thisispete: There's clearly something very wrong with her if an apparent eating disorder is the way she reacts to a breakup, Especially if it was caused by her infidelity. There is a mourning period at the end of all relationships, but it sounds like she needs some professional help. Ongoing vilification by the legion of Twilight fans can't be good either.

Its probably glitter withdrawal.

19 Aug 2012 05:29 AM
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REO-Weedwagon     
Kristen Stewart has the same unmistakable quality as Katy Perry -- they make me hate myself for how much I want to get up in that hiney. Could probably throw Rihanna in there too.

19 Aug 2012 05:49 AM
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gimmegimme    [TotalFark]  
The rumors about R-Patz simply MUST be true if he's hung up on her. That dude could have ANY woman he wants. He could trade up from this robot in twelve seconds. I can't think of another reason why he wouldn't.

19 Aug 2012 06:17 AM
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MagSeven     
scamp-dun-emer: MagSeven: SoxSweepAgain: Paris1127: [i.eatliver.com image 500x694]
Unfortunately, there isn't an image depicting Stewart after drinking a few Red Bulls...

I don't care I'd still rather have sex with Kristen Stewart than Emma Watson.

/Although both at once, and I'd agree to be shot afterwards.

Wow really? I don't find Stewart unattractive or anything, but I figure Watson would be more enthusiastic and saying awesome things in her English accent like "bugger me you coont! Stuff me fanny, you unbelievable filthy fookin shiate!" Then she'd sweep my chimney. I bet Stewart would just lay there like a fish until you finished, say "alright brah, check ya later.", and then leave to go to a Mumford and Sons show.

You seem to have put quite a lot of thought into that.


Eh, I'm drunk and the girlfriend is out of town. I'm just glad I'm not still probably making an ass out of myself in front of people that can actually see me.

19 Aug 2012 06:23 AM
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AaronSynn     
Lionel Mandrake: cman: Did I ever tell you that I really want to stick my finger up her woman parts?

What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? ... You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.


But she has ashtray breath....

19 Aug 2012 06:26 AM
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GreenAdder    [TotalFark]  
gimmegimme: R-Patz

ಠ_ಠ

19 Aug 2012 06:28 AM
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la_cyberchicana     
The article says the info comes from "sources close to the actress." Please. For all anyone knows, this was made up by the tabloids to sell papers, or made up by her publicist to court sympathy, or made up by someone just for shiats and giggles. I'll believe she's falling apart if/when she makes a public appearance and looks like hell, or at least emaciated. Maybe she's an emotional overeater, and she shows up in public next clutching a frappucino and sporting a muffin top and a scattering of zits. I care only because watching the Twihards go to pieces over this has been amusing, and I really wonder if they'll show up to boo when she does finally reappear.

19 Aug 2012 06:38 AM
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Old MonkeyShine     
widdershins22.files.wordpress.com

Thinks this is not going to end well.

19 Aug 2012 08:16 AM
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jso2897     
I have been mentally reviewing the female characters who appear in Kerouac's "On the Road".
I am having a great deal of trouble coming up with one who it would be even remotely appropriate to cast this vapid china doll to play. Kerouac's characters are generally raw, earthy - and closely based on real people. I have a bad feeling about that film.

19 Aug 2012 08:39 AM
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LDM90     
MagSeven: SoxSweepAgain: Paris1127: [i.eatliver.com image 500x694]
Unfortunately, there isn't an image depicting Stewart after drinking a few Red Bulls...

I don't care I'd still rather have sex with Kristen Stewart than Emma Watson.

/Although both at once, and I'd agree to be shot afterwards.

Wow really? I don't find Stewart unattractive or anything, but I figure Watson would be more enthusiastic and saying awesome things in her English accent like "bugger me you coont! Stuff me fanny, you unbelievable filthy fookin shiate!" Then she'd sweep my chimney. I bet Stewart would just lay there like a fish until you finished, say "alright brah, check ya later.", and then leave to go to a Mumford and Sons show.


AWESOME

19 Aug 2012 09:11 AM
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ComicBookGuy     
EasyWind: Red bull and cigarettes? Back in the day she would've been living on reds and vitamin C and cocaine. All he friends would've said 'aint it a Farking shame'

You sound like a Pig.

19 Aug 2012 09:12 AM
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CatfoodSpork     
Her behavior is normal.

19 Aug 2012 09:23 AM
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gimmegimme    [TotalFark]  
CatfoodSpork: Her behavior is normal.

Normal for what?

19 Aug 2012 09:31 AM
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Gunderson     
chzvideogames.files.wordpress.com

Obligatory

19 Aug 2012 09:36 AM
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jjwars1     
cman: Did I ever tell you that I really want to stick my finger up her woman parts?

Yes. Repeatedly.

19 Aug 2012 09:41 AM
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jjwars1     
cman: Did I ever tell you that I really want to stick my finger up her woman parts?

Yes. Repeatedly.

19 Aug 2012 09:51 AM
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Okoboji     
SpikeStrip: [i780.photobucket.com image 324x216]

that's a dude. and so is the other one.


Damn, she had more emotional range as a child actor. I thought actors were supposed to improve with experience.

19 Aug 2012 09:53 AM
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The Voice of Doom    [TotalFark]  
gimmegimme
The rumors about R-Patz simply MUST be true if he's hung up on her. That dude could have ANY woman he wants.


Any woman?
Maybe any Twilight fan.
Serious difference.

/judging from the odd premiere picture, I'd say he and Radcliffe are probably the Potter kids who clean up the worst (as long as the guy playing Neville doesn't show his teeth)

19 Aug 2012 10:29 AM
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Brick-House     
Paris1127: [i.eatliver.com image 500x694]
Unfortunately, there isn't an image depicting Stewart after drinking a few Red Bulls...


well here she is smoking a red bowl...

www.v7n.com 

oh, you meant the drink, my bad.

19 Aug 2012 10:49 AM
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Brick-House     
there, Red Bull the drink...

www4.images.coolspotters.com

19 Aug 2012 10:52 AM
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MatrixOutsider    [TotalFark]  
SpikeStrip: [i780.photobucket.com image 324x216]

that's a dude. and so is the other one.


And one loses his mind at the sight of man meat, and the other one vomits.

19 Aug 2012 10:58 AM
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HotIgneous Intruder     
Because she's working on her inner ugly?
And she's not all that cute?
And she's a drug ho?

19 Aug 2012 11:01 AM
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bazzanoid     
Lionel Mandrake: cman: Did I ever tell you that I really want to stick my finger up her woman parts?

What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? ... You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.


Exactly. Start by kissing her woman parts before you stick a finger up there. Saliva is nature's lubricant. God knows you'd need it with that unemotive bone bag.

19 Aug 2012 11:04 AM
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burndtdan     
She's going to be the next Lohan.

19 Aug 2012 11:28 AM
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Mad_Radhu     
cdn.screenrant.com

She's pretty much turned into the main character in Young Adult.

19 Aug 2012 11:51 AM
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kroonermanblack     
Harry_Seldon: Poor kid screwed herself and now is dealing with the humiliating consequences in such a public shaming. It looks like she is have some short term, possibly long term, professional fall out. Her "indiscretion" will likely cost here millions of dollars. Protecting the image is everything in modern public life.

Protecting the image is everything when working in an industry where your image predicts sales of the multi-million-dollar vehicles you loosely act in, given you have the skilled range of a particularly brain damaged lump of ear wax.

For you slogging down at the Jerrycurl factory, 'image' doesn't really mean shiat.

19 Aug 2012 12:02 PM
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