Eggs Good For You This Week

/old, but still surprisingly relevant

Eggs = worse than smoking
 
Smoked salmon roe = worse than crack
 
Putting smoked salmon roe in a pipe, igniting, and inhaling them = worse than Hitler
 
Putting Hilter AND smoked salmon roe in a gigantic pipe, igniting, and inhaling them = Worse than Cheech

"Babs, what's this war on eggs they're talking about?"

brap: Eggs = worse than smoking
 
Smoked salmon roe = worse than crack
 
Putting smoked salmon roe in a pipe, igniting, and inhaling them = worse than Hitler
 
Putting Hilter AND smoked salmon roe in a gigantic pipe, igniting, and inhaling them = Worse than Cheech


fuggit... I'll just smoke a joint instead

I remember the days of the great Egg War.

I was on patrol just outside of Kansas, investigating a coop that had gone rogue. I went around the corner of the building when there stood five chickens, armed to the teeth. In that moment, I knew what would happen. I didn't blame them, I wasn't even mad at them. They were defending their homes.

When I came to I was in the VA hospital in DC. I had lost my right leg, and my buddies were telling me they pulled five pounds of shrapnel and eight bullets out of me. They never said how I managed to fight off the chickens and get to the eggs. Honestly, I don't really want to know. I just wanted to get home to my family.

Take off. That first dude was such a hoser.

Beauty, eh?

How do you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?

Aarontology: I remember the days of the great Egg War.

I was on patrol just outside of Kansas, investigating a coop that had gone rogue. I went around the corner of the building when there stood five chickens, armed to the teeth. In that moment, I knew what would happen. I didn't blame them, I wasn't even mad at them. They were defending their homes.

When I came to I was in the VA hospital in DC. I had lost my right leg, and my buddies were telling me they pulled five pounds of shrapnel and eight bullets out of me. They never said how I managed to fight off the chickens and get to the eggs. Honestly, I don't really want to know. I just wanted to get home to my family.

Is that the war in which the phrase "Don't fire until you see the whites" was coined? 

Something something "shell shock" something more.

Dennys...

...s**t. I'm still only in Dennys.

Every time, I think I'm gonna wake up back in the hen house.

When I was home after my first tour, it was worse. I'd wake up, and there'd be nothing.

I hardly said a word to the waitress until I said yes to two over easy. When I was here, I wanted to be there. But when I was there, all I could think about was getting back into the hen house.

I'm here a week now- waiting for the Moons over my Hammy. Getting hungry.

Every minute I sit in this booth I get hungry. Every minute the little red hen sits in the coop, she gets stronger.

Each time I looked around, the tableware moved in a little closer...

[Soundtrack: Doors, The Egg]

Everyone gets everything he wants.

I wanted an omelette. And for my sins, they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service.

And when it was over, I'd never want another.

WTF is this shiat? Canadian Fox News?

They should get ova it.

It's gone green...

/scramble the eggscruciating puns

MaudlinMutantMollusk: It's gone green...

/scramble the eggscruciating puns

I don't have the huevos.

FloydA: MaudlinMutantMollusk: It's gone green...

/scramble the eggscruciating puns

I don't have the huevos.

I expect the yolks to get worse from here on

MaudlinMutantMollusk:
I expect the yolks to get worse from here on

The puns will pop up like flowers albumen in the fields, but most of them will be poached from other pun threads.

scottydoesntknow: [rubbercat.net image 207x157]

You better run,egg!

Proving once again that Canadians are just really bad at this whole television thing

Lets see shall wee.... A study that was checking on that icky stuff in smokers and decided that eggs were worse than smoking, due to smokers having lots more icky stuff in their veins that non-smokers.

/Fark linking to more articles from Fox news north, must mean the truth in newscasting laws must of been banned in Canada.
//So vote for Republican Stephen Harper?aka: prime minister poopy head. 
/Republicans: Censoring/distorting science in Canada for Profits sake.

I had no idea what he meant when he referred to us carnivores as "Meat-Aryans". TBH, I was somewhat offended. I think he meant "Meatarians", which is as stupid a term as it is cumbersome to pronounce.

/Thank almighty Atheismo I don't get the Sun news here in Saskatchatoon
//It's like a daytime Red Eye with lower production value

If we evolved not to eat animals, we wouldn't find them so tasty.
 
 

impaler: How do you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?

this

Walker: "Babs, what's this war on eggs they're talking about?"
[img.photobucket.com image 246x182]

Oh Eggman, will you marry me?

impaler: How do you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?

Yes. With cheese, please.

Given that this was the Sun (Canada's version of Fox) I would anticipate weapons grade idiocy.

But then that smarmy bastard says: "[vegetarianism] you can only afford to do if you put a lot if time and effort into it"

implying that it is only an option for rich white liberals with too much time on their hands.

I guess he has never heard of the 100s of millions of vegetarians in India.

// not a vegetarian

"I am the eggman. They are the eggmen. I am the walrus. Goo goo g'joob." 

roosam: [www.beatlefans.com image 379x250]
"I am the eggman. They are the eggmen. I am the walrus. Goo goo g'joob."

I would like to point out that you never hear of carnivore support groups

downstairs: If we evolved not to eat animals, we wouldn't find them so tasty.

I'm pretty sure humans are delicious. We should eat more of them.

"The people who told us about sun block were the same people who told us, when I was a kid, that eggs were good. So I ate a lot of eggs. Ten years later they said they were bad. I went, "Well, I just ate the eggs!" So I stopped eating eggs, and ten years later they said they were good again! Well, then I ate twice as many, and then they said they were bad. Well, now I'm really farked! Then they said they're good, they're bad, they're good, the whites are good, th-the yellows - make up your mind! It's breakfast I've gotta eat!"

- Lewis Black, The White Album

Why do carnivores wage this absurd and un-winnable war against vegans and vegetarians?

It is relentless.

Every single time I turn on the TV all I see is prescription medicine ads. High cholesterol. High blood pressure. Hypertension. ETC...ETC.. There are so MANY weight loss shows and documentaries on the "obesity epidemic" How is that American diet working for you?

Bottom line....
vegans outlive carnivores PERIOD
Less sickness...less meds...less cancer. Proven more times by more scientists,nutritionists and doctors than even climate change.

IDIOTS WHO DENY VEGANISM ARE JUST AS STUPID AS THOSE WHO REFUSE TO BELIEVE IN GLOBAL WARMING

Perhaps, but then Vegans act just like you

craigdamage: IDIOTS WHO DENY VEGANISM ARE JUST AS STUPID AS THOSE WHO REFUSE TO BELIEVE IN GLOBAL WARMING

SirTanon


when did I say "I am a vegan"?