(full site)
Fark.com

Back To Main
   Sooooooooo..............This is what you do with a drunken sailor so early in the morning

04 Nov 2012 09:13 AM   |   15478 clicks   |   Yahoo
Add Comment
Showing 1-50 of 58 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
Beerguy    [TotalFark]  
My Dad was kicked out of the Navy with a bad conduct discharge for throwing a drunken Lieutenant off the fantail of a destroyer.

/CSB

04 Nov 2012 06:52 AM
Reply
Eat More Possum    [TotalFark]  
Let's cut to the chase here: exactly what is there to do in Vladivostok except drink and wh.ore around?

04 Nov 2012 08:21 AM
Reply
PonceAlyosha     
Hopefully the same thing you did to him the night before.

04 Nov 2012 09:14 AM
Reply
Tr0mBoNe    [TotalFark]  
That's why grog rations are a good idea.

04 Nov 2012 09:15 AM
Reply
Joce678     
Wow.

Exactly how drunk would you need to be to get fired for it in Russia? They must have broken a few world records that night.

04 Nov 2012 09:17 AM
Reply
Rozinante     
Really? They got canned for being drunk on shore leave - in Russia?

04 Nov 2012 09:18 AM
Reply
BolshyGreatYarblocks     
A Few Bad Apples posters, start your engines!

04 Nov 2012 09:19 AM
Reply
PaulieattheTap     
Everyone knows you "shave his belly with a rusty razor, early in the morn'n". Or am I wrong?

04 Nov 2012 09:20 AM
Reply
nicoffeine     
Huh, just watched an episode of Miami Vice where the answer was "fark him, stab him, set him on fire."

/CSTubbs

04 Nov 2012 09:21 AM
Reply
PaulieattheTap     
Ooopps, forgot the linky thingy.

04 Nov 2012 09:23 AM
Reply
PonceAlyosha     

PaulieattheTap: Everyone knows you "shave his belly with a rusty razor, early in the morn'n". Or am I wrong?


No, first you put him in the long boat and you make him bale her. The list of traditional hang over cures doesn't come until a bit later.

04 Nov 2012 09:23 AM
Reply
wambu     
The skipper of a U.S. Navy frigate and three officers were fired on Saturday after an investigation found they had engaged in drunken behavior and misconduct during a recent port visit in Russia, the Navy said

In other news: ice is cold, sunlight is bright.

04 Nov 2012 09:24 AM
Reply
Weaver95    [TotalFark]  
dammit...now this is gonna be in my head all day.

04 Nov 2012 09:24 AM
Reply
smitty04     
The Navy Times reported it was the fleet's first mass firing stemming from a liberty port visit since March 2011.

The Navy just ain't what it used to be.

04 Nov 2012 09:25 AM
Reply
JustinCase     

Eat More Possum: Let's cut to the chase here: exactly what is there to do in Vladivostok except drink and wh.ore around?


Dude. Glad to see you back! Didn't you leave to run a tavern somewhere in Eastern Europe?

As for Vladivostok, just exactly what went down to make them stand out and be noticed?

04 Nov 2012 09:26 AM
Reply
MFAWG     

Rozinante: Really? They got canned for being drunk on shore leave - in Russia?


I notice a distinct lack of detail, so I'm guessing it goes beyond being drunk on shore leave.

04 Nov 2012 09:27 AM
Reply
Elzar     
Article is useless without pics of the hold, captain's daughter...

04 Nov 2012 09:29 AM
Reply
KarmicDisaster    [TotalFark]  
You can get "fired" from the Navy?

04 Nov 2012 09:29 AM
Reply
johnnygew     
But.........
If we put him in the hold with captains daughter - and he is the captain?

04 Nov 2012 09:30 AM
Reply
bmihura     

MFAWG: Rozinante: Really? They got canned for being drunk on shore leave - in Russia?

I notice a distinct lack of detail, so I'm guessing it goes beyond being drunk on shore leave.


Yeah, they had to do something really bad. And alcohol was just a factor. Not that I would know anything about alcohol being a factor in stupid behavior.

04 Nov 2012 09:31 AM
Reply
LegacyDL     
If you're in Russia, drinking is a must. You drink to stay warm, you drink to get drunk, you drink to make the babushkas look like they're young again, and most importantly you drink so forget you're actually in Russia in the first place.

04 Nov 2012 09:35 AM
Reply
INeedAName     
FTA: Darlak, a 1990 Naval Academy graduate, took command of the Vandegrift in Singapore July.

Either July is a country, or Singapore is a period of time. I'm so confused...

04 Nov 2012 09:35 AM
Reply
DrunkenInsomniac     
This is all I can think of now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY98i GETKFk&feature=related

04 Nov 2012 09:36 AM
Reply
Benjimin_Dover     
No word on if Jalad was caught as well?

04 Nov 2012 09:36 AM
Reply
liam76     
I wonder what exactly he did...

04 Nov 2012 09:38 AM
Reply
Any Pie Left     
Captain for barely two months... ouch.

04 Nov 2012 09:51 AM
Reply
LordOfThePings     
Do you think they will let me live in Krasnoyarsk? I will marry a round Russian woman, and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me.

04 Nov 2012 09:51 AM
Reply
Elzar     

DrunkenInsomniac: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY98i GETKFk&feature=related


Nothing better then a good bawdy sea-shanty - might I suggest one of the works by Salty Dick.

fark'em All(nsfw language)

04 Nov 2012 09:55 AM
Reply
Shadow Blasko     
Sometimes that happens after a long night of friggin in the riggin...

04 Nov 2012 09:59 AM
Reply
ZAZ    [TotalFark]  
One of the opening scenes of "Anything but Love" had Richard Lewis contemplating the meaning of that song and coming to an uncomfortable conclusion.

Darlak and the other three officers were being temporarily re-assigned to fleet operations San Diego "pending potential other administrative actions," she said.

What do they actually do while in fleet operations waiting for the retirement papers to go through? Are they warming a chair or doing real work?

04 Nov 2012 09:59 AM
Reply
AtlanticCoast63     
"...You can't out-drink a Russian. I've tried."
- Mrs Coast


/The Hangover 3: Vladivostok Liberty

04 Nov 2012 09:59 AM
Reply
TeddyRooseveltsMustache     
i.usatoday.net

Approves.

04 Nov 2012 10:10 AM
Reply
BitwiseShift     
What Shall We Do With a Drunken Sailor was one of the better songs on the album.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

04 Nov 2012 10:12 AM
Reply
notyomama     
Great - now I have that song stuck in my head.

04 Nov 2012 10:14 AM
Reply
DrRatchet     
My vacation plans for the holodays include travelling to Vladivostok, drinking a 20cl bottle of Vodak and drifting through the streets in a hires right-hand-drive Honda. Because of reasons.

04 Nov 2012 10:18 AM
Reply
ladyfortuna     
I'd just like to point out that 'relieved of command' is not quite the same as 'fired' - fired implies you got the boot and are never allowed back, along with no more paychecks.

/semantics

04 Nov 2012 10:21 AM
Reply
One Bad Apple    [TotalFark]  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: A Few Bad Apples posters, start your engines!


I really don't think I'm in any condition to be driving *hic* Somebody take my keys.

04 Nov 2012 10:24 AM
Reply
Eat More Possum    [TotalFark]  

JustinCase: Dude. Glad to see you back! Didn't you leave to run a tavern somewhere in Eastern Europe?


Da, Chisinau

04 Nov 2012 10:25 AM
Reply
Jeteupthemiddle     

PaulieattheTap: Everyone knows you "shave his belly with a rusty razor, early in the morn'n". Or am I wrong?


Hmm...I thought it was just shave his beard with a rusty razor. Yours is better though.

04 Nov 2012 10:27 AM
Reply
devildog123    [TotalFark]  

ZAZ: One of the opening scenes of "Anything but Love" had Richard Lewis contemplating the meaning of that song and coming to an uncomfortable conclusion.

Darlak and the other three officers were being temporarily re-assigned to fleet operations San Diego "pending potential other administrative actions," she said.

What do they actually do while in fleet operations waiting for the retirement papers to go through? Are they warming a chair or doing real work?


They'll be doing the shiat jobs that need to get done, but no one wants to do. I see them having to do lots of FLIPLs, Whatever the Navy's equivalent of the Army's USR is, being assigned as "Assistant S-whatever". All the stupid BS crap that you need an officer to do, but no officer really WANTS to do. There are tons of those jobs.

04 Nov 2012 10:30 AM
Reply
ANTENNANAUT     
Chill Comrade. "What happens in Vladivostok, stays in Vladivostok."

04 Nov 2012 10:53 AM
Reply
p51d007     
Reminds me of this...

1.bp.blogspot.com 

And this...

tos.trekcore.com

Scott: Well, Captain, er, the Klingons called you a... a... a tin-plated overbearing, swaggering dictator with delusions of godhood.
Capt. Kirk: Is that all?
Scott: No, sir. They also compared you with a Denebian slime devil.
Capt. Kirk: I see.
Scott: And then they said that you were...
Capt. Kirk: I get the picture, Scotty.
Scott: Yes, sir.
Capt. Kirk: And after they said all this, that's when you hit the Klingons.
Scott: No, sir.
Capt. Kirk: No?
Scott: No, er, I didn't. You told us to avoid trouble.
Capt. Kirk: Oh, yes.
Scott: Well, I didn't see that it was worth fighting about. After all, we're big enough to take a few insults, aren't we?
Capt. Kirk: What was it they said that started the fight?
Scott: They called the Enterprise a garbage scow! Sir.
Capt. Kirk: I see. And that's when you hit the Klingon?
Scott: Yes, sir.
Capt. Kirk: You hit the Klingons because they insulted the Enterprise, not because they...
Scott: Well, sir, this was a matter of pride!
Capt. Kirk: All right, Scotty. Dismissed. Oh, Scotty, you're restricted to quarters until further notice.
Scott: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. That'll give me a chance to catch up on my technical journals.

04 Nov 2012 11:15 AM
Reply
MayoBoy     

Jeteupthemiddle: PaulieattheTap: Everyone knows you "shave his belly with a rusty razor, early in the morn'n". Or am I wrong?

Hmm...I thought it was just shave his beard with a rusty razor. Yours is better though.


Depends on the version. Some are shave his balls with a rusty razor. Also, it shouldn't be throw him in bed with the Captain's daughter but rather give him a taste of the Captain's daughter with "Captain's daughter" being slang for a cat-o-nine-tails.

The more you know about sea shanties, the less room you have left in your mind for actual useful information.

04 Nov 2012 11:21 AM
Reply
iheartscotch    [TotalFark]  

Elzar: Article is useless without pics of the hold, captain's daughter...


The captain's daughter is slang for a cat-o-ninetails. A cat-o-ninetails is a type of whipe; primarily used for corperal punishment on a ship.

/ the more you know

04 Nov 2012 11:43 AM
Reply
powhound     
After pulling into Guam for liberty, the XO of our sub found a giant plastic zebra outside a nightclub and managed to climb up on it.

/the new military really sucks

04 Nov 2012 12:00 PM
Reply
xanadian    [TotalFark]  
Bonus: the skipper's name.

INEBRIATE! INEBRIAAATE!!

04 Nov 2012 12:00 PM
Reply
Clemkadidlefark     
So .... all this inclusive, new age psycho-babble jibber jabber "We Are The World" and marry our own kind rules of "Naval Engagement" and CUMJ has produced what?

"This is the first mass firing since March of 2011"

Well, golly. Nice to know our people out there are only going off the rails every once in a while.

The Navy, nor the Army Marines, AF or Coast Guard are not where social engineering has any place. Discipline, hard ass attitudes and competence have to rule the day. Tradition is for a reason.

General Hamm, you hearing me?

04 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
Reply
wildcardjack     
The Tiger Lillies version is properly twisted.

Linky

04 Nov 2012 12:10 PM
Reply
PaulieattheTap     

MayoBoy: Jeteupthemiddle: PaulieattheTap: Everyone knows you "shave his belly with a rusty razor, early in the morn'n". Or am I wrong?

Hmm...I thought it was just shave his beard with a rusty razor. Yours is better though.

Depends on the version. Some are shave his balls with a rusty razor. Also, it shouldn't be throw him in bed with the Captain's daughter but rather give him a taste of the Captain's daughter with "Captain's daughter" being slang for a cat-o-nine-tails.

The more you know about sea shanties, the less room you have left in your mind for actual useful information.


My friend Walt sings it with both belly and balls. He also likes to make up his own lyrics depending on the crowd. I think he once sang "put him in a barrel for the rest of the sailors".

04 Nov 2012 12:12 PM
Reply
Packersfan823     
gothamist.com
We interrupt your regularly shceduled programming to bring you BEEDOGS!!

04 Nov 2012 12:34 PM
Reply
Showing 1-50 of 58 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
This thread is closed to new comments.


Back To Main

More Headlines:
Main | Sports | Business | Geek | Entertainment | Politics | Video | FarkUs | Contests | Fark Party | Combined