Real News. Real Funny.
spentmiles: I was up in Ohio for my aunt's funeral last year. I had some down time after the viewing so I visited Serpent Mound. There isn't much to see of course, pretty lame actually, but I enjoyed walking around in the sunshine after being shut up in the musky mortuary all morning. After a bit of walking, I sat against the mound and ate a sub for lunch. I have both Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes, so I fell asleep after I ate.I'm usually a deep sleeper. I never remember my dreams. If I don't write down something before I fall asleep then it is gone forever. But while I was asleep on the mound, I had the most vivid hallucination - more than a simple dream.I was completely naked, standing on the mound, with a shadow. The shadow said, "it's prepared." Then a female deer walked atop the mound in front of me. I spread her legs and her vagina began to contract. After several minutes of me stroking her back as her vagina made sucking and belching sounds, a small hairless fawn was born into my hands. The shadow said, "now eat." I thought that I didn't know what to do, but I automatically began pushing the bloodied fawn into my mouth. Inch by inch, I drew the fawn's hind legs into my mouth. Then my jaw unhinged as I cleared the hips. The wet baby deer slid gradually down my throat until the last tip of hoof disappeared. The umbilical cord was still hanging out of my mouth; the other side hung from the deer's sore vagina. I slurped and sucked, inch by inch, devouring not only the cord but also the mother deer. After much complaining and walking along the mound, I lay down in the sun with a fat, distended stomach still moving with the death quivers of the animals.Then the shadow laid down on top of me. A feeling of great cold, like an arctic death exhale descended over me. I fell asleep in the dream but immediately awoke in the real world.It was dark and I was covered in dead, wet leaves. I'd been asleep for almost six hours - a death sentence for a double diab ...
raerae1980: Wow, it's not even friggin 7AM and I'm already pissed, PISSED after reading this. I just....I need coffee.
Prank Call of Cthulhu: Yes, it's an amazing feat of...making a huge pile of dirt. Some Roman is sticking his head out of his multi-story stone building with running water, saying, "Oh, what a nice pile of dirt. Very clever indeed."
spentmiles: And the oddest part - I could taste cord blood on the back of my tongue.
GilRuiz1: What, none of you want your planetary vibrations lifted? Ingrates.
FloydA: Scumbags. If they painted swastikas on a synagogue, blew up a church, or threw pig blood into a mosque, they would rightly be prosecuted for hate crimes. But because it's "just Indians" whose site they are desecrating, they won't.
Clemkadidlefark: [www.loveoftheearth.com image 320x225][msnbcmedia3.msn.com image 474x316]Why are nerds and new age flim flams always making poo out of my good name?Historical Note - Dr. Wilhelm Reich died on November 3rd, 1957 in a U.S. Federal penitentiary where he had been sentenced for two years on a charge of violating interstate commerce laws connected to the transport of an invention Dr. Reich called Orgone Energy Accumulators. The year before his death, the Federal Food and Drug Administration had destroyed Dr. Reich's accumulators at his Rangeley, Maine lab on June 5th and July 23rd, 1956. The FDA also burned his scientific literature and books.Burned his notes, literature and books. Your FDA ... conducted a book burning.Regardless of the muffin heads at Serpent's Mound, anytime the government does something like this I am certain there is great value in what they burned.
Clemkadidlefark: Burned his notes, literature and books. Your FDA ... conducted a book burning.Regardless of the muffin heads at Serpent's Mound, anytime the government does something like this I am certain there is great value in what they burned.
ladyfortuna: I've been rewatching the X-Files lately, and this seems like exactly the kind of thing the real whackjobs on that show (so you know, 1995ish) would have done. I was really hoping that the lack of press on new-agers meant maybe that crap was dying down.
Cathedralmaster: So the "Light Warriors" did this? Looks like these dudes are going to jail:Someone should have told them to buy silver swords when they were in the elf village.
Clemkadidlefark: anytime the government does something like this I am certain there is great value in what they burned.
Fark.com MobileCopyright © 1999 - 2015 Fark, Inc Last updated: Jan 31 2015 19:31:00
Contact | Report error | TOS/legal/privacyFull site