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   In Egypt an old priest blindfolds a young altar boy and tells the boy to select a ball. After the boy has selected the ball, the old man gently grasps the ball and tells the congregation of the selection. That's how the new Pope is chosen

04 Nov 2012 01:11 PM   |   8030 clicks   |   Telegraph
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St_Francis_P     
Drunk this early in the morning on a Sunday, subby? Tsk.

04 Nov 2012 08:02 AM
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kimwim    [TotalFark]  
And not a single woman was in attendance of a thousand.

04 Nov 2012 08:14 AM
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NewportBarGuy    [TotalFark]  

kimwim: And not a single woman was in attendance of a thousand.


Well, dinner ain't gonna cook itself!

04 Nov 2012 08:58 AM
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ToxicMunkee     
I think the Vatican should select their next Pope via Bingo game.

04 Nov 2012 09:26 AM
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St_Francis_P     

ToxicMunkee: I think the Vatican should select their next Pope via Bingo game.


I favor a Thunderdome approach.

04 Nov 2012 09:29 AM
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NewportBarGuy    [TotalFark]  

St_Francis_P: ToxicMunkee: I think the Vatican should select their next Pope via Bingo game.

I favor a Thunderdome approach.


We don't need another hero.

04 Nov 2012 09:44 AM
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Vodka Zombie     
How is the boy altered, Subby?

You can tell us. This is a safe thread.

04 Nov 2012 10:49 AM
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FloydA    [TotalFark]  
In Egypt an old priest blindfolds a young alter boy and tells the boy select a ball.

Big deal. Priests have been doing that to altar boys for years.

04 Nov 2012 11:04 AM
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calbert    [TotalFark]  
"alter"
"tells the boy select a ball"
"the old man gently grasps the ball tells"
"congreation"

christ that is one f*cked up headline subby

/no wonder it went green
//english, subby... get some

04 Nov 2012 12:25 PM
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Nick Nostril     
So, not much different than how we elect our Presidents then?

04 Nov 2012 01:13 PM
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iheartscotch    [TotalFark]  

St_Francis_P: ToxicMunkee: I think the Vatican should select their next Pope via Bingo game.

I favor a Thunderdome approach.


2 cardinals enter; 1cardinal leaves?

04 Nov 2012 01:14 PM
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meow said the dog    [TotalFark]  
LAUGHTER OL what the trainwreck of the English language of the headline of this! Although from what has been heard by me I will say that this is quite in the line of what happens in the Roman Catholic Church also as I have heard that they do the freezing of the ball upon which they wish for the boy to do the selection of. This is the way in which the Jesuits have done this for many years.

04 Nov 2012 01:15 PM
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Ed Finnerty     
Subby: In Egypt an old priest blindfolds a young alter boy

Is he made out of Splenda? 

/altar

04 Nov 2012 01:16 PM
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flaminio     
Egyptian priest?

Unavailable for comment:

i48.tinypic.com

04 Nov 2012 01:17 PM
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LewDux     
Something something copt a feel

04 Nov 2012 01:18 PM
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hershy799     
Simpsons already did it

/pickled eggs FTW

04 Nov 2012 01:19 PM
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relaxitsjustme     
TFA was not what I was expecting.

04 Nov 2012 01:22 PM
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Dahnkster     
I'm gaga over the Optic Church...

www.youknowit.com

04 Nov 2012 01:29 PM
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offmymeds     
21cif.com

No comment.

04 Nov 2012 01:30 PM
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Deep Contact     
The priest was wearing a muchroom cap.

04 Nov 2012 01:31 PM
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thesloppy     
..also the plot for Lone Wolf and Cub, and/or Shogun Assassin.

04 Nov 2012 01:32 PM
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WrongTrousers     
i.dailymail.co.uk

/made me think of this

04 Nov 2012 01:32 PM
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Dahnkster     
I'm from a Greek offshoot of the Coptic Church. We're the Heli-coptics.
ghettofamous.net

04 Nov 2012 01:33 PM
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Arkanaut     

meow said the dog: LAUGHTER OL what the trainwreck of the English language of the headline of this! Although from what has been heard by me I will say that this is quite in the line of what happens in the Roman Catholic Church also as I have heard that they do the freezing of the ball upon which they wish for the boy to do the selection of. This is the way in which the Jesuits have done this for many years.


"And the next Pope of the Coptic Church is... Patrick Ewing?!?!"

04 Nov 2012 01:34 PM
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WeenerGord     
Let him gently grasp two balls, and let them hang well.

No wait that's the Catholics

04 Nov 2012 01:34 PM
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Do_wacka_Do     
That's not the first Priest's ball an alter boy has grasped.

04 Nov 2012 01:35 PM
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wildcardjack     
Pope, altar boy, balls, hands.

That headline had scandal written all over it.

04 Nov 2012 01:35 PM
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Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo     
Objection- this is the plot of Kung Fu Panda.

04 Nov 2012 01:39 PM
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Sgygus    [TotalFark]  
This sounds better than the method the Roman Catholic chooses its pope.

04 Nov 2012 01:43 PM
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LesserEvil    [TotalFark]  
Who knew Touchdown Jesus was a Coptic creation?

i.imgur.com

Roman officials penalized him for excessive celebration

04 Nov 2012 01:45 PM
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Skyred     
lol they cleaned up the headline

04 Nov 2012 01:45 PM
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seelorq     
"alter boy?"

They let a castrato select their pope?

04 Nov 2012 01:45 PM
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iamepic     
That didn't look like "the will of god" so much as the bearded guy putting the ball he wanted in place and putting the boys hand over it.

04 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
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cowgirl toffee     
Spell Check... it will make you it's biatch.

04 Nov 2012 01:55 PM
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I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros     
It's the oldest game in the book--good Copt, bad Copt.

04 Nov 2012 01:55 PM
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GranoblasticMan     

cowgirl toffee: Spell Check... it will make you it's biatch.


I honestly can't tell if that was intentional.

04 Nov 2012 01:56 PM
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cowgirl toffee     

GranoblasticMan: cowgirl toffee: Spell Check... it will make you it's biatch.

I honestly can't tell if that was intentional.


GOTDAMN YOU, SPELL CHECK!!!!

04 Nov 2012 01:59 PM
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Alleyoop     
Yeah, just reach in here for your pope...

juicyrumors.com 

...he's already got his hat on.

04 Nov 2012 02:03 PM
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Oznog     
content8.flixster.com

Welcome to your Career Lottery Day!

Hmm... Messenger... Pope... Pipeworks....

/I got Pipeworks
//trade you for "Pope" 
///loved this movie, except for the absurdly rotten "Escape Adventure" sequence at the end
////not just give them a DOOR out through a tunnel, instead of a wildly complicated, perilous, irreversible aquatic roller coaster??
//and how did they start deep underground, go through apparently miles of steep downhill flume ride, go up a moderate staircase and somehow end up at the top of a hill far, far ABOVE Ember?  Which apparently doesn't have all that much solid rock capping it, because they could see down into it?

04 Nov 2012 02:30 PM
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martid4    [TotalFark]  
Well, at least it wasn't a UFIA and chosen by which knuckle he buried it into.

04 Nov 2012 02:31 PM
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bingo the psych-o     
The kid with the blindfold on has to wear it for the rest of his life while he rides "master-blasted" onto the new Pope's back.

www.cultureblues.com

...only with more white and gold fabric of course.

04 Nov 2012 02:34 PM
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TheOther     
I'm selecting myself as pope right now.

04 Nov 2012 02:40 PM
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Mouser     
lh6.googleusercontent.com

Approves.

04 Nov 2012 02:52 PM
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Bill_Z_Bub     
i934.photobucket.com

04 Nov 2012 03:02 PM
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biglot     
da' lloyd works in strange ways. Strangeways, a prison in Manchester.

04 Nov 2012 03:13 PM
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Wrongo    [TotalFark]  
Blind folds, young boys. priests, balls. Yeah, I got a problem with that.

04 Nov 2012 03:20 PM
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kg     
PHOTO OF THE PRIEST IN QUESTION:
www.inquisitr.com

04 Nov 2012 03:49 PM
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nmemkha     
Add some sacramental wine and you got yourself a party!

04 Nov 2012 03:50 PM
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Mega Steve     

bingo the psych-o: The kid with the blindfold on has to wear it for the rest of his life while he rides "master-blasted" onto the new Pope's back.

[www.cultureblues.com image 530x424]

...only with more white and gold fabric of course.


Who run Coptictown?

04 Nov 2012 04:51 PM
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serialsuicidebomber     
It sounds like so much of the priesthood relies on little boys playing with adult balls.

04 Nov 2012 04:56 PM
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