..maintain eye contact with the beast.

"And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes..."

/Oblig.

Thank the FSM this was just a story about some guys dumb enough to go swimming with sharks and then poke them with a stick while taking photos. or a second there I thought sharks were starting to FB.

*blink*

/All week, the veal is excellent here.

 

Hai Guise!

Even if you have a two-piece custom-made pool cue?

Deep sea snapper Daniel Botelho and a pal

Ok there's two of them in the snapshot, and one of them is the snapper. Then who's snapping the snapshot?

Lucky LaRue: [img.thesun.co.uk image 620x512] 

Hai Guise!

I would have shat myself..

Did the operator help to place his call?

Gonad the Ballbarian: Lucky LaRue: [img.thesun.co.uk image 620x512] 

Hai Guise!

I would have shat myself..

It is advised that you do not do so, as it attracts more sharks.

/note: who cares if that's true

And don't you whiz on the electric fence.

You don't?

Most shark attacks are on swimmers or surfers because sharks have a tough time distinguishing people paddling and splashing on surface from legtitmate prey. Sharks do not generally enjoy eating people, we do not have fatty enough flesh for em.

Divers likely are relatively safe (as safe as one can be around wild animals) Unless if sharks get aggressive or there is shark feeding going on, or they are in an area where sharks are accustomed to being fed by humans.

There are at least some species of sharks that are afraid of the bubbles coming up from divers as well.

Sharks get such a bad rap.

granted, great whites do look scary as fark

Somewhere, there's a zombie that would differ vociferously with you.

Famous last words, "I haven't been bitten yet."

quatchi: ..maintain eye contact with the beast.

"And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes..."

/Oblig.

Thank the FSM this was just a story about some guys dumb enough to go swimming with sharks and then poke them with a stick while taking photos. or a second there I thought sharks were starting to FB.

*blink*

/All week, the veal is excellent here.

What are you doing? Are you quoting Jaws? We don't have time for that.

WHAR PITTSBURGH ZOO STORY, WHAR??

I guess there are some stories even Fark won't fark with...

quatchi: Thank the FSM this was just a story about some guys dumb enough to go swimming with sharks and then poke them with a stick while taking photos. or a second there I thought sharks were starting to FB.

"Would you like to confirm Not A Land Shark as your friend?"

eas81: [assets.diylol.com image 510x340]

"It's a Tiger shark"

A What?"

Spartapuss: What are you doing? Are you quoting Jaws? We don't have time for that.

We've moved on to Deep Blue Sea by this point.

One cannot refuse to acknowledge that - deepest, bluest - LL Cool J's hat is like a shark's fin.


nirwana: "It's a Tiger shark"

A What?"

In all fairness, the delivery is more like: "A WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

I predict a Tim Treadwell-style incident in the not-too-distant future. Except wetter, and with fins.

Spartapuss: What are you doing? Are you quoting Jaws? We don't have time for that.

Serious shiat *is* serious.

/It's bath salts. Yeah, it's like coke and acid and, like, meth all combined."

I'm not talkin' 'bout pleasure boatin' or day sailin'. I'm talkin' 'bout workin' for a livin'. I'm talkin' 'bout sharkin'!

Brazilian Botelho, 31, says he's spent 24 hours diving with the half-ton creatures and has never been bitten.

He claims the key is to remain relaxed, hold your ground - and maintain eye contact with the beast.


Wasn't there somedude in Alaska who lived with wild bears, said something like this, and later got mauled to death?

Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear

And it shows them pearly white

Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe

And he keeps it ... ah ... out of sight.

That water would be considerably browner if I ever saw a shark that close.

I rode a roller coaster once with no hands.

Just punch them in the nose!

Medic Zero: Just punch them in the nose!

...or kick them in the nads.

 

But what if, like, a shark tugged on Superman's cape, while he pulled the mask of the Lone Ranger, who was spitting at the shark who was upwind?

Medic Zero: Just punch them in the nose!



Falcon Punch!

my herniated disc: Most shark attacks are on swimmers or surfers because sharks have a tough time distinguishing people paddling and splashing on surface from legitimate prey.


Legitimate prey, or legitimate REYP????


Seriously, don't poke sharks. They don't have blowholes. Dolphins are what you want for the sweet, sweet blowhole-lovin'.

99.998er: Medic Zero: Just punch them in the nose!

...or kick them in the nads.

Damn you for making me GIS "shark testes". Huh? It might not be as easy as you think.

nytmare: Deep sea snapper Daniel Botelho and a pal

Ok there's two of them in the snapshot, and one of them is the snapper. Then who's snapping the snapshot?

Obviously,

The snapper is just a red herring.

No where in TFA does it say the shark's name is Jim.

If you want to try this in the safety of your home here is a simulator

PhiloeBedoe: Even if you have a two-piece custom-made pool cue?

Hell,I rushed to reference Jim and missed your's right at the top.Getting slow as an old turtle.
Now I gotta go see who else did it.

PhiloeBedoe: Even if you have a two-piece custom-made pool cue?

What if you're badder than old King Kong and meaner than a junkyard dog?

 

Btw, I approve of this thread

JonnyBGoode: The snapper is just a red herring.

Am not.

Snapper Carr: "Would you like to confirm Not A Land Shark as your friend?"

I LOL'd.

BRB Candygram guy at the door...

ciberido: PhiloeBedoe: Even if you have a two-piece custom-made pool cue?

What if you're badder than old King Kong and meaner than a junkyard dog?

It's all a moot point if you don't have a custom Continental AND an Eldorado (or two).

Sorry, my brain made a left turn at the headline and ended up on Weird Al's CNR

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Spartapuss: What are you doing? Are you quoting Jaws? We don't have time for that.

We've moved on to Deep Blue Sea by this point.

One cannot refuse to acknowledge that - deepest, bluest - LL Cool J's hat is like a shark's fin.


nirwana: "It's a Tiger shark"

A What?"

In all fairness, the delivery is more like: "A WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

Jesus. Thank you for that clarification.

is it just me or does that first pic in the "article" look like the shark's being tickled?

Stand your ground?

When one wants to it will tear him apart. It only takes one having a bad day.

BlaqueKatt: is it just me or does that first pic in the "article" look like the shark's being tickled?

Na. It looks more like they are twisting its nipples.

"Which brazen idiot should I eat first? Decisions,decisions....."