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   ♫ You don't tug on Superman's cape. You don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger and you don't poke a great white shark ♫

04 Nov 2012 06:42 PM   |   9056 clicks   |   The Sun
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quatchi     
..maintain eye contact with the beast.

"And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes..."

/Oblig.

Thank the FSM this was just a story about some guys dumb enough to go swimming with sharks and then poke them with a stick while taking photos. or a second there I thought sharks were starting to FB.

*blink*

/All week, the veal is excellent here.

04 Nov 2012 04:20 PM
Lucky LaRue    [TotalFark]  
img.thesun.co.ukView Full Size
 

Hai Guise!

04 Nov 2012 06:13 PM
PhiloeBedoe    [TotalFark]  
Even if you have a two-piece custom-made pool cue?

04 Nov 2012 06:24 PM
nytmare     
Deep sea snapper Daniel Botelho and a pal

Ok there's two of them in the snapshot, and one of them is the snapper. Then who's snapping the snapshot?

04 Nov 2012 06:47 PM
Gonad the Ballbarian     

Lucky LaRue: [img.thesun.co.uk image 620x512] 

Hai Guise!


I would have shat myself..

04 Nov 2012 06:48 PM
wildlifer     
Did the operator help to place his call?

04 Nov 2012 06:52 PM
puffy999    [TotalFark]  

Gonad the Ballbarian: Lucky LaRue: [img.thesun.co.uk image 620x512] 

Hai Guise!

I would have shat myself..


It is advised that you do not do so, as it attracts more sharks.

/note: who cares if that's true

04 Nov 2012 06:55 PM
JasonOfOrillia    [TotalFark]  
And don't you whiz on the electric fence.

04 Nov 2012 06:55 PM
lordargent     
You don't?

www.moneyandshit.comView Full Size

04 Nov 2012 06:56 PM
my herniated disc     
Most shark attacks are on swimmers or surfers because sharks have a tough time distinguishing people paddling and splashing on surface from legtitmate prey. Sharks do not generally enjoy eating people, we do not have fatty enough flesh for em.

Divers likely are relatively safe (as safe as one can be around wild animals) Unless if sharks get aggressive or there is shark feeding going on, or they are in an area where sharks are accustomed to being fed by humans.

There are at least some species of sharks that are afraid of the bubbles coming up from divers as well.

Sharks get such a bad rap.

granted, great whites do look scary as fark

04 Nov 2012 06:57 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     
Somewhere, there's a zombie that would differ vociferously with you.

04 Nov 2012 06:58 PM
BlackMtnMan     
Famous last words, "I haven't been bitten yet."

04 Nov 2012 06:58 PM
eas81     
assets.diylol.comView Full Size

04 Nov 2012 06:59 PM
Spartapuss     

quatchi: ..maintain eye contact with the beast.

"And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes..."

/Oblig.

Thank the FSM this was just a story about some guys dumb enough to go swimming with sharks and then poke them with a stick while taking photos. or a second there I thought sharks were starting to FB.

*blink*

/All week, the veal is excellent here.


What are you doing? Are you quoting Jaws? We don't have time for that.

04 Nov 2012 07:00 PM
mark12A     
WHAR PITTSBURGH ZOO STORY, WHAR??

I guess there are some stories even Fark won't fark with...

04 Nov 2012 07:01 PM
Snapper Carr     

quatchi: Thank the FSM this was just a story about some guys dumb enough to go swimming with sharks and then poke them with a stick while taking photos. or a second there I thought sharks were starting to FB.


"Would you like to confirm Not A Land Shark as your friend?"

04 Nov 2012 07:01 PM
nirwana     

eas81: [assets.diylol.com image 510x340]


"It's a Tiger shark"

A What?"

04 Nov 2012 07:03 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     

Spartapuss: What are you doing? Are you quoting Jaws? We don't have time for that.


We've moved on to Deep Blue Sea by this point.

One cannot refuse to acknowledge that - deepest, bluest - LL Cool J's hat is like a shark's fin.


nirwana: "It's a Tiger shark"

A What?"


In all fairness, the delivery is more like: "A WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

04 Nov 2012 07:05 PM
gweilo8888     
I predict a Tim Treadwell-style incident in the not-too-distant future. Except wetter, and with fins.

04 Nov 2012 07:07 PM
quatchi     

Spartapuss: What are you doing? Are you quoting Jaws? We don't have time for that.


Serious shiat *is* serious.

/It's bath salts. Yeah, it's like coke and acid and, like, meth all combined."

04 Nov 2012 07:09 PM
REO-Weedwagon     
I'm not talkin' 'bout pleasure boatin' or day sailin'. I'm talkin' 'bout workin' for a livin'. I'm talkin' 'bout sharkin'!

04 Nov 2012 07:09 PM
heavymetal     
Brazilian Botelho, 31, says he's spent 24 hours diving with the half-ton creatures and has never been bitten.

He claims the key is to remain relaxed, hold your ground - and maintain eye contact with the beast.


Wasn't there somedude in Alaska who lived with wild bears, said something like this, and later got mauled to death?

04 Nov 2012 07:11 PM
KrispyKritter     
Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear

And it shows them pearly white

Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe

And he keeps it ... ah ... out of sight.

04 Nov 2012 07:12 PM
AbiNormal     
That water would be considerably browner if I ever saw a shark that close.

04 Nov 2012 07:12 PM
99.998er     
I rode a roller coaster once with no hands.

04 Nov 2012 07:16 PM
Medic Zero     
Just punch them in the nose!

04 Nov 2012 07:17 PM
ShobuZukuri     
67.18.219.83View Full Size

04 Nov 2012 07:18 PM
99.998er     

Medic Zero: Just punch them in the nose!


...or kick them in the nads.

04 Nov 2012 07:19 PM
herrDrFarkenstein     
www.lileks.comView Full Size
 

But what if, like, a shark tugged on Superman's cape, while he pulled the mask of the Lone Ranger, who was spitting at the shark who was upwind?

04 Nov 2012 07:20 PM
cowgirl toffee    [TotalFark]  

Medic Zero: Just punch them in the nose!


img203.imageshack.usView Full Size


Falcon Punch!

04 Nov 2012 07:20 PM
Mister Peejay     

my herniated disc: Most shark attacks are on swimmers or surfers because sharks have a tough time distinguishing people paddling and splashing on surface from legitimate prey.



Legitimate prey, or legitimate REYP????


Seriously, don't poke sharks. They don't have blowholes. Dolphins are what you want for the sweet, sweet blowhole-lovin'.

04 Nov 2012 07:21 PM
2 Replies     
4chanmemeandmotivational.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

04 Nov 2012 07:23 PM
herrDrFarkenstein     
www.daviddarling.infoView Full Size


99.998er: Medic Zero: Just punch them in the nose!

...or kick them in the nads.


Damn you for making me GIS "shark testes". Huh? It might not be as easy as you think.

04 Nov 2012 07:23 PM
LordJiro     

nytmare: Deep sea snapper Daniel Botelho and a pal

Ok there's two of them in the snapshot, and one of them is the snapper. Then who's snapping the snapshot?


Obviously,
www.flmnh.ufl.eduView Full Size

04 Nov 2012 07:25 PM
JonnyBGoode     
The snapper is just a red herring.

04 Nov 2012 07:29 PM
sweet-daddy-2     
No where in TFA does it say the shark's name is Jim.

04 Nov 2012 07:31 PM
Onkel Buck     
If you want to try this in the safety of your home here is a simulator
i277.photobucket.comView Full Size

04 Nov 2012 07:33 PM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     
img820.imageshack.usView Full Size

04 Nov 2012 07:35 PM
sweet-daddy-2     

PhiloeBedoe: Even if you have a two-piece custom-made pool cue?


Hell,I rushed to reference Jim and missed your's right at the top.Getting slow as an old turtle.
Now I gotta go see who else did it.

04 Nov 2012 07:39 PM
ciberido    [TotalFark]  

PhiloeBedoe: Even if you have a two-piece custom-made pool cue?


What if you're badder than old King Kong and meaner than a junkyard dog?

04 Nov 2012 07:40 PM
reddsharkk     
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 

Btw, I approve of this thread

04 Nov 2012 07:40 PM
Snapper Carr     

JonnyBGoode: The snapper is just a red herring.


Am not.

04 Nov 2012 07:41 PM
quatchi     

Snapper Carr: "Would you like to confirm Not A Land Shark as your friend?"


I LOL'd.

BRB Candygram guy at the door...

04 Nov 2012 07:44 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     

ciberido: PhiloeBedoe: Even if you have a two-piece custom-made pool cue?

What if you're badder than old King Kong and meaner than a junkyard dog?


It's all a moot point if you don't have a custom Continental AND an Eldorado (or two).

04 Nov 2012 07:45 PM
Saberus Terras     
Sorry, my brain made a left turn at the headline and ended up on Weird Al's CNR

04 Nov 2012 07:55 PM
John Buck 41    [TotalFark]  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Spartapuss: What are you doing? Are you quoting Jaws? We don't have time for that.

We've moved on to Deep Blue Sea by this point.

One cannot refuse to acknowledge that - deepest, bluest - LL Cool J's hat is like a shark's fin.


nirwana: "It's a Tiger shark"

A What?"

In all fairness, the delivery is more like: "A WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"


Jesus. Thank you for that clarification.

04 Nov 2012 08:21 PM
BlaqueKatt     
is it just me or does that first pic in the "article" look like the shark's being tickled?

04 Nov 2012 08:32 PM
bmr68     
Stand your ground?

When one wants to it will tear him apart. It only takes one having a bad day.

04 Nov 2012 08:32 PM
cowgirl toffee    [TotalFark]  

BlaqueKatt: is it just me or does that first pic in the "article" look like the shark's being tickled?


Na. It looks more like they are twisting its nipples.

04 Nov 2012 08:37 PM
Apos     
img.thesun.co.ukView Full Size



"Which brazen idiot should I eat first? Decisions,decisions....."

04 Nov 2012 08:50 PM
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